I Can't Believe I Said That!!

Dena Gould • April 26, 2022

woman overwhelmed working stressful administrative job thinking about a better way

When I went to pick Shana up to go hang out, she was wearing a sweatshirt with kittens on it.

I'm sure I was probably wearing a fitted half-shirt so that my 2 belly button rings would show. It was 1994 and we were both 22. I wasn't mature enough to just allow her to be who she was. Yes, of course, I made fun of that sweatshirt!

This was my beautiful, brilliant friend, who was attending Law School at the time. I had recently met her at Coco’s where we waited tables together. I took on this second job in the evenings so I could pay off the credit card debt that my ex-boyfriend had left me with.

Shana and I were complete opposites in life experiences, but we had a lot of the same values and we learned so much from our differences. She would help me with my college algebra homework. (Yes, I was attending community college part-time as well.) I would show her how to do the booty dance. (Twerking was not a thing back then.) We balanced each other beautifully.

We eventually ended up being roommates. At that time, she was interning as a clerk for one of the Denver judges and Loved it. Unfortunately, when the clerk position became available, she was not chosen. Shana was completely heartbroken.

My response was, "Obviously, God has a different plan for you.” She made the expected “you’re crazy” face and said nothing. I hope I gave her a hug. – I don’t remember.

Over the years, we have jokingly thrown that statement back and forth when we are experiencing the crappy moments. “Obviously, God has a different plan for you!” Obviously, I have worked on my delivery :) but the message stands. It usually sucks at the time, but we both feel it to be true. Especially since Shana is now a badass in the judicial system! She would have never gone that direction if she got that clerk position over 25 years ago.

These memories rushed back recently as Shana and I were on a plane to Mexico to celebrate my 50th birthday. I was reflecting on how blessed I was to have so many beautiful people in my life. When I met her, I was at my lowest point. My ex-boyfriend had left me with a lot more than just credit card debt. I had to make many difficult decisions that forever changed my world. There were days that I did not think I would make it.

Never could I imagine how that “poor me” moment would bring me to where I am today. Taking that second job saved me, it gave me no free time to overthink. It kept me out of my head and forced me to put one foot in front of the other. I could give you a laundry list of all of the blessings I have learned and experienced from Shana. She has made me a better person and I have almost 30 years of unconditional Love.

Thank goodness God/Source/Universe had a BETTER plan for me!

Honestly, I cannot think back to a crappy experience that I did not learn from and, now, appreciate. I remember many of my first vulnerable experiences, fits of reacting vs acting, some cringey less-than-best-self moments; some of them still, give me the “ewws” but I have not made those mistakes again. I learned, set better boundaries, and freed up all that energy.

Instead of fighting these moments, let’s accept that...

God/Source/Universe has a BETTER plan for us!

And flow into our next moment of brilliance.

I was just talking to my oldest daughter, DeNae, the other day and she was in the middle of a bad experience. Then she shared how she asked her boyfriend, “What are we supposed to be learning from this?” Geeze the warm fuzzies when your children are brilliant!!

This newsletter is your reminder: If you find yourself in a crappy moment…

Ask: