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INSPIRATION

By Dena Gould 02 Jan, 2018
Every year around this time I choose an intention word that is going to help me stay focused and help define my experiences for the New Year. Initially, I chose connection because I get pulled in so many directions that I feel I’m just putting out fires instead of being fully present and connecting. As I thought about it more, however, I found myself being seduced by the word persevere. Then, this happened:

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"Dena Gould

December 12, 2017 at 8:02am ·
I am pissed! Seriously pissed! I had just dropped my children off at school and I noticed a single car that was obviously in an accident on the side of the road. A man is passed out in the driver's seat blood-splattered. Cars are just driving by him like it's nothing. I am the only person to stop. What the hell is wrong with humans? Where is the empathy? He wakes up as I approach him and tries to drive off. He tells me that he has to get to work. That he can't afford to be late to work. I have to try to keep him calm and tell him that his car is leaking liquid that he can't go anywhere and he is so frustrated and in dire straights that it completely breaks my heart. All he wants to do is get to work. Finally a taxi driver pulls over and states that he's called for help. And then another beautiful single woman pulls over and gets out of her vehicle and helps me to calm him. We have to work together to attempt to get him to even sit down because he's in shock. Emergency help arrives and they're trying to get him to go to the hospital and he's telling them no, he's fine, he's got to get to work but he obviously needs stitches on the back of his head. I'm just imagining all the thoughts going through his head about how much all of this is going to cost him. It breaks my heart that we live in a society where people are afraid to even go to the hospital to receive help because of the debt they know that it will cause. This just brings up my anger about the greed. No one should have to feel this way in America. Thank you for letting me have my meltdown. Love and light peeps

Shout out to the other women that helped. We hugged and celebrated humans before we parted ways.."


I was just venting on social media because I was, well, pissed. What I didn’t expect was the response I received― more than 200 people acknowledged it and almost 100 commented . I have never had a response like this to any of my personal posts. It was completely overwhelming and came as a huge awakening: I am not the only person feeling a little desperate for connection these days.

The very next day I went for a run. Ever since I was young, I play this game where I smile and say hello to everyone that crosses my path to see who will respond. On this particular day Tracey, every single smile was returned. This rarely happens! What’s even rarer is that I stopped three separate times to connect with three different people. I would never have stopped in the past, partly because I wear a running tracker and my ego won’t allow it. But this run was complete magic. I changed my perception and therefore was much more open to authentic connection. In fact, I attracted it. Yes, I teach this stuff (insert smile) but sometimes even I can forget how powerful it can be.

Saying it sounds like common sense, but feeling it is completely different. When you focus on your intention word for the year, remember that you need to also change your perception. The goal is for you to put it out there in the universe and not worry about how it will come back to you. For example, if your word is happy you don’t need to go out into the world and try to make everyone happy. Instead, just feel the happiness within yourself first, and then see how it spreads to everyone around you. If your word is light, focus on how you want to feel when all the experiences you come across are light and beautiful.

Get very clear on how your intention word feels so that you are conscious of when you are not it its pattern. Then you can make the choice to go back to it.


By Dena Gould 28 Nov, 2017

This past year has been the most challenging and rewarding for me as a healer. I never felt an overall heaviness in the world at the level it has been these last several months. I thought I was past some of the experiences that came up for me. But here I was, taken places I never wanted to go or thought I would ever see again. The despair was beyond my imagination. It came in waves. Sometimes I was able to allow it to flow—to feel it, reflect and move forward—and other times it snatched me from behind and pulled me deep, deep inside its dark, wet yuckiness.
 
Yet even in the midst of all this helplessness, there was always a tinge of hope. Light is always revealed within the darkness. And although at times I couldn't see or feel it, I just imagined it until it eventually came into my being.
 
Because I, too, danced with this darkness I was completely able to empathize with many others having similar experiences. I was not alone. So many of us couldn’t comprehend what was happening in our world. And that’s how with this challenging energy came a huge awakening: All we can do is get up, get out and do something.
 
I know it’s not as easy as it sounds. It requires some serious perseverance and action to create the experiences we want for ourselves and our families. But it’s these actions and desires that are supporting a powerful shift. We are no longer waiting for anyone else to create our happiness. We are becoming  the change we wish to see (thank you, Gandhi). I really felt it with the full moon in early November. It was like HOPE started to float through the air again. We are taking our power back from that "thing" we thought kept us powerless.
 
Each of us may have taken small steps Tracey, but together they have been mighty. The darkness we experienced this past year helped us understand that we can endure some serious shit but it doesn't have to become our fate. We have each other. Mr. Rogers told us, "Look for the helpers." And I tell my children all the time to, "Be a helper." We all need connection. We were never meant to experience this journey alone. If you are not connecting with others, find a way. Create experiences that fuel you and fill your heart. Remember, it’s your happiness that matters.
 
What is all comes down to and what I had to learn once again this year is this: When it’s dark, BE THE DAMN LIGHT. And when you can’t, ask for help.

By Dena Gould 31 Oct, 2017

And that includes kindness. Of course we know to be kind to others, but why doesn’t it seem to come as naturally to be just as kind to ourselves? We all take part in negative self-talk at some time or another, so let’s go ahead and address it.

Has it ever inspired you? When has beating yourself up ever made you feel good, or even brought about positive changes? Just because a loved one―or even a stranger―made you feel stupid, ugly, mean, lazy, etc., doesn't make it true. YOU are the only one that can allow it to be true. YOU are also the only one that can change these limiting beliefs. IT IS ONLY A THOUGHT…a thought that you are giving power.
 
So, how do we avoid it? By beginning our day with intention. By playing out in our heads how we want the day to go―how we want to feel and what we want to accomplish. And by saying nice things to ourselves. This allows us to center our energy so we can be less reactive and more in control of our lives.

This month, try shifting your energy with these five daily steps:

1. Visualize

Yes, one of my favorites. Visualizing how your day will play out sets the intention for how you want to experience it. It puts YOU in control, rather than just letting life happen to you.

2. Journal every morning

Before you do anything else, get out everything that’s on your mind―all the ifs, buts and worry you’re carrying around. Yes, you may have to wake up a little earlier to make this happen, but it is so worth it. Consider it your morning dump (Read The Artist's Way  if you’re looking for inspiration). Daily journaling helps de-clutter your thoughts so you can be present, which takes me to the next step.

3. Live in the moment

The moment is where the magic is. The past is gone and can't be changed, so stop beating yourself up for bad choices. If you’re not living in the now, then you’re missing the fun. You can enjoy your reality by actually living in it!

4. Gratitude always

When we are grateful for what we have, we are less likely to spiral into the “poor me" cycle. If only bad things seem to happen to you then, unfortunately, you are playing the victim role. And we all know being a victim never feels good. So don't allow yourself to go there. Go with gratitude instead. I know it’s not always easy, but with a little effort, you will see how gratitude can change your life.

5. Be a friend

There is nothing more satisfying, inspiring and motivating than being of service to others. Humans need humans. Be a friend. Listen without judgment, make someone a meal, send a card. You know what it takes. Do it from the heart and without expectation; otherwise, it will not feed your soul.

You have probably heard all these steps before, especially if you’ve had a session with me. But, they bear repeating. Remember, YOU can control your happiness and decide how you want each day to play out. Don’t let anyone take that from you. And even if your friend takes the last piece of chocolate cake, know that you can always make more!

Sometimes we need help and direction to change our hidden habits. Be sure to check out my Art of Loving You and Connect With Your Spirit Guide classes to help get you out of your head and into your happiness!

 

 

By Dena Gould 26 Sep, 2017

She said, “I'll wait until I'm a little closer and then I'll get the epidural.” I thought, my poor baby is in so much pain. Why does she think she needs to hold off to relieve that pain? I suggested that she get the epidural right away so that she could get some sleep. It was 5 AM at this point and my daughter had been in labor for almost 15 hours. She calmly said okay. It was like she just needed permission to relieve her pain. She later explained that she was just too tired to think straight.


Some of you may remember the lesson that I learned from my daughter back in March. ( You can read about this experience in my article "I Couldn't Breathe, Sleep, Think...  )

This happens to many of us when we are tired or on autopilot trying to make it through each day. We aren’t even aware that there are other options. We believe the long, heavy, winding road is better. We think it validates us and it shows more perseverance. As I get older, I am loving the road that is more traveled. Don’t get me wrong Tracey, I love to discover new and fresh experiences, but I also don’t need to complicate things. Walking on that well-established concrete path to arrive at what would be the same destination saves me time, money, sanity. I feel WOKE! I like it. I like that I can ask for help and say thank you without feeling guilty.

I am suggesting that maybe we look at the easiest way to obtain the same result. This doesn’t mean we're weak. I think it means we're smart and we're tired of the long, muddy paths. Where in your life could you make it a little easier? I'm not saying to take unnecessary shortcuts when there's something important that needs to be addressed. I’m suggesting taking a step back and asking:

•    Where in life am I struggling?
•    What are my options?
•    Can I do it differently?
•    Can someone help me with this?
•    Who can I ask for help?
•    What steps can I take out of my routine?

Let’s give ourselves permission to release the unnecessary and make our lives more enjoyable. There is still time to join us for my Infinite Possibilities class starting next week. Learn to get out of your way and create doable steps to create the life that you WANT to experience.


By Dena Gould 30 Aug, 2017

Written by Tracey Painter


I read an article the other day where it asked the reader if you were living by who you ARE, or if you are living by who you AREN’T. For exampleSeason, are you living to NOT be like someone such as a parent, sibling, friend, relative, boss, etc? Are you spending all your time trying to NOT be something/someone as opposed to just being who you are? Are you fighting against the current when you don’t have to?

I was victimized as a child. So, I spent most of my life after that doing everything I could NOT to be a victim. Not to be a product of that abuse. In fact, I have spent so much time trying not to be a victim that I have eliminated a lot of just living, really. By spending my entire life trying to control myself, my environment, and those around me to “protect” myself, I have created a challenging lifestyle . Not just a personality quirk. No! An entire lifestyle. This is how I live my life. That makes me sad.

I’ve also spent most of my life trying not to be like my dad. I love art. I get my artistic abilities from my dad. I do not like my dad. So, I do not like to associate myself with my artistic abilities very often. If I’m in the best of moods, I’ll do it. But to use it as an expression of myself in times of distress, when I could use an outlet or a release, I don’t use it because I don’t want to be ANYTHING like my dad, even though he was artistically talented. I don’t want to look like him, act like him, or have any of his personality traits. That’s completely impossible! It’s DNA! That’s me fighting the current. Me not allowing REAL parts of me come out. It’s exhausting trying to push everything out completely, instead of just the parts of him that were bad, hurtful, or destructive.

I realized recently that it’s okay to have problems due to the pain and suffering I’ve had in my life. Not as an excuse to go around hurting others or myself, but as something that will create more of a challenge in my life in certain areas. Things to work on, yes. And sometimes things about myself that I have just to accept because I was forever changed by those events. And that’s okay. I don’t get to be perfect in this lifetime. I can only hope to be surrounded by others who get that and love me enough to stay, even when I am desperately trying to gain control or am emotionally stunted.

Now I’m wondering who am I in the YES column. I absolutely know who I’m NOT, what I don’t like, traits and behaviors I don’t want to emulate, what I don’t want to do. But seriously, I’m not sure who I am in the positive. I know some stuff. A couple of things. But I look back and see thestruggle. Fighting the current. Going upstream. Focusing on the NOT.

Now I have a new perspective and can catch myself when I’m telling myself who I’m not. Then I can turn it around and see who I am. I can start to make decisions based on positive actions instead of fear, white-knuckle endurance, panic, control, and reacting to outside people and situations. I want to move forward in the positive, in the who I AM. Do you?


By Dena Gould 01 Aug, 2017

I was in a funk I just couldn't shake. My physical pain began to worsen, I didn't know what to do. I had recently watched a Byron Katie video that forced me to wake up. I was on autopilot for too long; believing it was a positive autopilot wasn’t helpful, and obviously, I was not as conscious of my thoughts as I should have been.
 
I tried shifting my thoughts, journaling, performing EFT. I was pulling out all my tools. I was meditating, being still, having gratitude and yet none of it was working the way I needed it to. I began to question...what’s causing this? As my search for answers continued, I reached out to my Spirit Guides, could they help me understand if this was some deep, deep crap that I must experience?  While sitting in nature, I asked, “What makes me happy?”  Thinking I was clever and hoping that I would shift my focus towards something positive, but the answer surprised me.  It scared me.  I actually heard, "nothing."  I was panicky and I was digging.  My kids!  Of course, my kids make me happy, but I still felt emptiness with that answer.  My husband! He is supportive and helpful, again I was grasping. My clients! I am beyond blessed to help people realize their beauty on a daily basis, but I was left feeling raw.
 
Throughout my life, there have been times when I just wanted it all to be over. Not thinking of committing suicide, but wanting life to be done.  I never remember feeling the way I was at that moment, never to this extent.  My thoughts drifted to a friend who had committed suicide.  I wanted to judge this person because I couldn’t understand why. Why had my friend not sought more help? Why couldn't the thoughts be shifted? I finally had my answer at that moment. This experience gave me a glimpse into someone’s mind that decides suicide is the only answer. It helped me to wrap my brain around the many suicides that happen far too often. It was the weirdest feeling, but at the same time, I knew that I could and I would get out of this. This all happened at the beginning of July; while I had no plans to share it with you, the recent suicide of Chester Bennington, of Linkin Park motivated me to share.
 
We create stories to understand our experiences. We want to judge suicide.  We want to label it so that we can feel better about ourselves. I have witnessed people calling a suicide victim a coward or making fun of the victim out of fear. This doesn’t help anyone. Empathy helps.
 
This experience forever changed me and now that I am out of it, I know the blessing. I thought that I could relate before, but this new experience created more meaningful empathy for those beautiful souls. I wonder if the intention of the Universe was simply to teach me this so that I would share it. When I communicate with spirits who’ve committed suicide, most of them share the same message, "I didn't know. I didn't know that life was supposed to be about the fun and joy. I didn't know that my priorities were all messed up. I didn't know that I was spending too much time in my head on stuff that didn't matter."  Most of them relay that they are pissed that they chose to end their life.
 
How are you spending your time and energy? Where are your thoughts focused? Are your stories serving you?  I am very clear on my role for others. I am clear that I must love and accept myself as I am, but the deeper question that I received from this is, "Who am I to me?"  Can you answer that on a deeper level?

*Join me on my Facebook page to hear my response to that question.

By Dena Gould 30 Jun, 2017
We all started out so differently. Some of us came into a loving two-parent home and love only began to be withheld once we hit puberty or once our attitudes shifted and our parents could no longer deal with the "you just don't understand" drama that we clung to. Some of us were born into horrific and tragic situations like being molested by those that we should have been able to trust; by those that should have been keeping us safe. Some of us were physically and/or emotionally abused by parents who were heavily poisoned throughout their own lives because of their personal traumas and fears.

We all have stories that have supported and created the person that we are today. Some of those stories are so beautiful and empowering and some of those stories hurt way down to the core of our souls. All of these experiences create the perfect messes that we are.

I wrap my brain around the negative experiences by telling myself that while we were in "Heaven, " we told ourselves that we were bad ass. We wanted to be put "back in the game" to learn true hardship so that our souls would grow, but then we get here and we are like, "WTF?" There are usually deep lessons for us, but it usually boils down to the story of, "I am not enough."

What we choose to do with these lessons is what brings us joy or grief. When you can touch, feel - sink into some of the chapters of that story of not being enough, you give yourself permission to let it go and your freedom begins. It is proven that acknowledging the muddy energy within those chapters, something shifts. Stuck emotions are released by acknowledging them, not ignoring them. Keep in mind that once we do this, we must move into the present and stop reliving the past. It's gone. Our lives are happening now, so let's create some magic. Let's take steps to honor our messes and love ourselves for them. They are part of us whether we like it or not, so let's not punish ourselves for them.
By Dena Gould 08 Jun, 2017
At 19, I worked my first professional 9-5 and felt pretty damn mature in my nylons and shoulder padded outfits. I wanted to continue feeling that way, so when my birthday arrived, I decided that I didn’t need to tell anyone. I was 20 now, so no need for that silly attention. I went all day long being a little sad and having a few pity parties because nobody wished me a happy birthday. Being “mature” pretty much sucked. I think it’s like trying to be “normal.” What the hell is normal anyway?  How many times do we catch ourselves getting upset at our situation or our surroundings because we're too afraid to speak up? We are too afraid to be judged or we're trying to be the bigger person?

The older I get, the better I understand what is important to me and if I want it to be acknowledged by others then I need to speak up. I am not perfect at this, but I have found that most people enjoy me being honest and sharing; I know I do. I have friends that will cancel plans with me because they are having a pity party, or life just sucks at that moment and they don’t want to be around people. I respect this and completely understand since I can be especially annoying if I am feeling like Mrs. Positive. I adore them for this. Their honesty gives me permission to do the same.

I still may find myself trying to be the bigger person from time to time, but at least I know when it is happening now and I can sit with my decision and decide if I want to change it.

If speaking up is challenging for you as well, I challenge you to be honest with someone today. Don’t be rude, just share your feelings. Remember, not to be attached to how they receive it because they may take it personally. Thank goodness that it will have nothing to do with you.  This may inspire them to speak up too. Honest communication can feel pretty normal and mature.
By Dena Gould 01 May, 2017
Over the years, I have literally tried to write about dark energy at least three or four times―never really knowing how to approach it because I don’t like coming from a place of fear. However, with the sadness, depression, and hopelessness that many of us have been dealing with lately, I believe it's time to at least address the basics. I'm not going to go into discussions of dark entities, but I am going to highlight some of the negativity that seems to be spreading―and what we can all do to help stop it.

As many of you know, everything is made up of energy and vibrates at different frequencies. If you’ve had a session with me, the work we do is aimed at raising vibration and shaking off the heaviness, sometimes even the darkness. Over the past few months, I have had so many people come to me with an unexplainable sorrow, sadness, anger and confusion. And the reason is a universal vibration that we’re feeling. Because of it, a lot of us are being pulled into areas we're not used to. And we’re reacting by making our decisions out of fear, rather than out of faith. When that happens, the “dark cloud” that is seeming to follow us just gets darker and heavier, making it more and more difficult to climb out of that space.

My intention with this newsletter is to help you shake off the heaviness, make a change and take your power back. I humbly ask that you begin by being conscious of your thoughts again―and focus on keeping them positive! See the good in everything and everyone. Send people love and light instead of hate and frustration.

Every morning when we arrive at school and my children get out of the car I say, “Send them love and light." My kids already know to send it to the "mean people" first, as I’ve explained that we simply can’t know what their home lives might be like, or what experiences they’ve had that trigger them to act in a certain way. But lately, I have been getting caught up in my own stories and had forgotten to do my part as well. All of us are lightworkers and, as such, we all have the opportunity and obligation to send others the love and light they need.

So many of us are living in darkness because we’re afraid. And when we act out of fear, we fail to recognize that there is always enough for everyone. Life is so much easier when we work together and respect one another’s differences, rather than standing on the front porch worrying about what we may lose. When we live in fear, we assume we’re never going to be enough and that others will uncover our flaws. But when we shift our thinking and begin to accept ourselves and each other as we are―perfectly imperfect beings―we allow ourselves to love and be loved, simply because we exist.

I know it’s possible to shift our energy and choose love and light once again. For some, it may require the decision to stop listening to the news―or at least stop allowing ourselves to get so caught up in it. For others, renewing an interest in a cause that you’re passionate about or taking up an activity that you can pour your heart into can help you get unstuck. We all have the power to live in faith and raise our collective vibration―one moment at a time. WE GOT THIS!
By Dena Gould 01 Apr, 2017
You probably have friends who had unimaginable childhoods, but they appear to be doing well and stay positive about life. You may also know people who had what appear to be great childhoods, but they live in "poor me" mode and blame everything and everyone for their unhappiness. What’s the conclusion we can draw from this? It’s that we are in control of our own happiness. And while taking responsibility for this isn’t always easy, it is so freeing!

So, what’s standing in the way of your happiness? Could it be the constant struggle to be perfect—wanting to please others or control everything when you are triggered ? Do you find yourself feeling responsible for everyone else’s happiness so that you can finally be enough?

If you’ve had a session with me, you know that together we try to understand where your limiting beliefs began. And it almost always started with our parents. But the truth is, it began WAY before our parents. Even if it’s not always obvious, it has usually been passed down through our lineage in some form or another. Just because we inherited these stories doesn’t mean we have to continue them, however. It can stop with you. Or at the very least, it can get better.
 
I have shared before about the power of   sitting in your shit  and releasing the past,   but today I want to focus on releasing our parents. First, try to empathize with their experiences that may have triggered their behavior. What happened in their childhoods that could have caused them to act or treat you in a certain way?  If you can’t go there with it, then take your power back from them and release the story. Say to yourself, “My parents and the story that I am stupid, selfish, not enough, etc. will not validate me or rule my life. I no longer blame them for my unhappiness because life is too short and I can choose differently.”
 
If you are a parent, think about how empowering it will be for you be able to avoid “poisoning” your own children in the same way that you were “poisoned” by their triggers. (Read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz to learn more about how this works).  Know that there is humility in this work, however, and that it’s not always easy. But, running from the suffering isn’t a long-term solution. You have to first feel it, be with it and then release it.
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