The Questions Wise People Ask

In Loving Memory of Mervin, thank you for your wisdom.

“Are you enjoying your life?” 

I love this question. It was asked across the meal table during our Easter Celebration from, an 84-year-old Mervin to a soon-to-be 80-year-old. 

I thought about this for myself and my answer is, YES!! Yes, I am.

However, it’s only because I do the work. Every damn day I do the work and I create a better reality. I have had my moments in the fear and negative stories, but I catch it as quickly as I can. I set the boundaries for me.   

My own experience has taught me that if you are going down rabbit holes and focusing on events that you personally cannot change, you’re not enjoying your life. 

If you’re waiting for someone to come save you, you are not enjoying your life. 

If you are comparing yourself and your experiences, you are not enjoying your life. 

If you are living in the past or think you should be further along, you are not enjoying your life. 

If you practice negative self-talk, you are not enjoying your life. 

We must be proactive. We must create the experiences that we desire. I’m going to say this in every possible creative way I can. 

About a month ago I woke up not especially excited to “do life” that day. I dislike that feeling. Trying to understand where it came from wasn’t going to change the feeling.  Past experiences have taught me that I wasn’t being proactive. 

When this happens, one of my first go-to methods is usually to do the gratitude list in my head to shift my perception, but on this day, I found myself setting goals. I was challenging myself to take steps in the direction that I wanted to be.

I started listing things in my head and then eventually on paper that I could do that day that needed to be done and would feel good to check off my list. Even though I just wanted to continue to lay there, I knew I had to talk myself into movement as fast as I could. I knew that I would not feed any negative story, because it would take me deeper into the hole. 

I have been checking things off most of my life. I still vividly remember the first time my friend, Leanne, taught me this magic. I was in the third grade and she was in the fourth. I still remember thinking she was completely brilliant because she knew how to spell the word ‘schedule’. 😀
She created a schedule for our day and we checked things off as we completed them. That felt so good and I have been creating schedules and To-Do lists ever since.

If anybody knows me, they have seen and made jokes about my schedules and lists. It is what keeps me going. It is what allows me to set goals and create those doable steps that I keep talking about. And yes, I will even add completed tasks that didn’t make it to the original list just so that I can check them off !🤣 
 

Later that day, my friend, Devi, shared a video where somebody was explaining how dopamine, one of our happiness neurotransmitters, lights us up every time we check something off of our To-Do list. I Love the confirmation of the Universe! My subconscious knew what to do to light up my energy! All it takes is one small action to begin the Light ceremony! 

When we check one thing off, happiness chemicals kick in and we are inspired to do more. ✔️😀

 We know this feeling: once we start the project or intention, we find our flow. 

All we have to do is start and we find ourselves more inspired. 

The challenge is usually the starting. 

This month I am challenging you to get clear on some things you would like to accomplish that will support ENJOYING YOUR LIFE! It doesn’t matter how big or how small, just be clear.

I would especially love for you to add feelings to your list so that you can retrain your brain to feel good. 

Then add a check box to remove negative patterns. List your "To-Don'ts" so they are clear and part of your actionable task list, for example, "No pity parties! Focus on how I WANT to feel."

When accomplished, check them off, ✔️and allow that dopamine to propel you on to the next move. 

If you get hung up on actually starting your chosen step, I literally do the 5-second rule (Mel Robbins) count down from 5 and begin. 

When we jump in and just take action, without trying to think of creative ways on how or why we can't do it, it gets done.

Create the steps that you need to begin to make it happen. I did this when I wanted to run a half marathon. I also did this when I wanted to have my own business (read here). Keep it easy. Doable steps. 

 Ok, dear reader, it's your turn! I have two questions for you: 

Are you enjoying your life? 

What are you going "To-Do" to make your life enjoyable?   

Much Love, 

Dena Gould