The Message Came with 6 Legs: A Lesson on Authenticity and Integrity

A Lesson on Authenticity and Integrity

Facing Authenticity in My 50s

Stick with me!

I am in my 50s and I am still facing this issue...

It’s wild how true authenticity is coming up for me again. It’s not like I’m hiding. For the most part, I speak my truth, even if it makes people uncomfortable. People have judged me and told me that I was doing “demonic work.” This still blows my mind, but I’m okay with that.

However, recently I’ve been leaning into more silence, stepping back from speaking my truth in certain situations. It’s not that I’m hiding or pretending, it just doesn’t feel worth the energy to speak up sometimes.

But then I wonder, is this me being authentic? Is staying quiet in certain circles really the truest version of myself?

The Way of Integrity and The Work of Byron Katie

I’ve been reading Martha Beck’s The Way of Integrity, and she references my girl Byron Katie a few times throughout the book. She describes how she uses The Work when an “old story comes up,” walking it through the four questions and then doing a “turnaround” to shift into new perspectives.

That intentional pause, that probing inquiry… it’s one of the tools I’ve built my practice around. Helping people refuse the “bullshit stories” they tell themselves and take responsibility for their own happiness. It all stems from that same kind of radical self-honesty.

Here’s how she lays it out:

• Is it true?
• Can you absolutely know it's true?
• How do you react—what happens—when you believe that thought?
• Who would you be without that thought?

And then the magic: the turnaround—flipping the thought around (e.g., “I should listen to myself” instead of “My husband should listen to me”) to discover an alternate truth that often feels more liberating.

One-Degree Turns: Small Shifts, Big Changes

This is integrity work in action, not just a concept. It resonates deeply because calling people on their “bullshit stories” is exactly how I show up. This is the foundation of my own work. Byron Katie’s process is the very impetus for my calling people out on the false stories they tell themselves and holding them responsible for their own happiness—because Byron Katie did this for me 25 years ago.

Martha also emphasizes the power of tiny shifts. What she calls “one-degree turns.” She likens it to flying a long distance and turning the plane just one degree every half hour and over time, it brings you somewhere entirely different. This is the path of sustainable change, not the heroic leap.

In her words:

“We call them one-degree turns: just a little bit every day, turning action in the direction of the truest truth that we can find inside ourselves.”

That’s the work I invite you into—small, real, doable shifts.

The Power of Authentic Connection

Recently, I spent time with a newer friend, Susan. We have only connected a few times, but it felt as if we have known each other for lifetimes. We did a ritual together for the Lionsgate and New Moon, and it was soul nourishing. I felt so safe and comfortable with her, able to be one hundred percent authentically me.

The most beautiful part was when she shared that she does not have a circle of friends where she can be fully herself, especially with the spiritual side of her life. She was so grateful for the space we created, where she could open up without fear of judgment.

She told me about a decision she made last October that completely resonated. Instead of waiting for the new year, she committed to doing something every day to better herself, whether physically, emotionally, or mentally. She also promised herself she would stop telling even the smallest white lies and live in complete authenticity.

It was her own version of what Martha Beck did in The Way of Integrity. And just like Martha’s one-degree turns, Susan focused on small, consistent changes that, over the course of a year, have transformed her life.

Integrity Challenges and Radical Self-Honesty

Her journey made me look in the mirror and wonder: Am I avoiding my truth in small ways? Is it time for my own integrity challenge?

What Susan reminded me, and what both Martha Beck and Byron Katie’s work illustrate, is that authenticity is not about being perfect or loud all the time. Sometimes it is about the quiet moments of self-honesty. Sometimes it is about telling the truth when it is hard. And sometimes it is about having the courage to stop telling ourselves the comfortable lies that keep us from growing. It’s a frequency that we can all feel.

The Message:

I had started this newsletter and laughed about the synchronicities of my friend and Martha’s book. Knowing there is a lesson for me, but to be honest, not taking it serious enough. Until…

We moved the dresser.

We are painting our bedroom and we pulled the dresser forward and discovered a dead leaf bug. THIS IS THE 3RD YEAR IN A ROW that one has shown up. I kid you not. I have had a dead leaf bug show up on my front porch the past two years, but because I obviously am not getting the lesson, it showed up on our air-conditioned bedroom.

The message? Stop hiding and trying to blend in. Especially if it affects my energy, health, and self-trust. I need to clear out my old survival pattern of making the rest of the world comfortable before I take action. I just need to jump.

My 3rd chakra is doing flip flops as I type this, but one degree at a time right?!

Living Authentically, One Degree at a Time

Authenticity is an agreement with me. It’s a gift. It has nothing to do with anyone else. Those are only bullshit stories.

Love you!

Dena