He was doing what in the street?!

I went to Europe for the first time recently, and apparently, I packed some very rose-colored glasses.  

Right before leaving, I helped facilitate a truly empowering wellness retreat for men and women. For once, I wasn’t coordinating all the moving parts. I got to show up, share my gifts, and be me. The woman leading the retreat took such beautiful care of everyone, and the roughly twenty other facilitators brought so much love, wisdom, and generosity. 

We were there to support the attendees, but somewhere in that experience, I found myself completely held, loved, and supported, too. My heart was full. Something inside me softened and shifted in ways I’m still finding words for. 

That was the energy I carried onto my trip. 

My friend Devi arrived excited, too, but with a busy business still needing her attention. She couldn’t simply put everything down because she was getting on a plane. We grew up together, but we brought different experiences, responsibilities, and headspaces to those beautiful stone streets of Lisbon. 

And goodness, did that become obvious. 

One evening, we were walking down one of Lisbon’s many hills when I noticed a man standing a little behind a public trash can. Me being me, I smiled and said hello. 

His response? 

“Fuck off.” 

Well, alrighty then. 

I giggled, and Devi turned to me and said, “Didn’t you notice he was peeing?” 

No. No, I did not. 

I was busy wondering about his story and offering a little human connection. Apparently, he was busy, too. 

The next day, I noticed another man walking through the crowd. There was something about the way he carried himself. It was a quiet, comfortable confidence. He seemed so at home in himself, and I loved witnessing it.

Looking back, I think the retreat had something to do with why I more aware of men. There were more men than women at the retreat. I’m blessed with a large percentage of male clients, but unfortunately, I only have a certain few that attend my classes. That experience had opened up a new awareness of their presence and energy for me. 

I turned to Devi to ask if she had noticed him. 

She hadn’t. Her attention had been on someone else who appeared to be struggling, fidgeting and moving erratically. 

“Didn’t you see him?” she asked. 

Nope. 

She hadn’t seen my person. I hadn’t seen hers. Same street. Same moment. Two very different experiences.

 We laughed, and it became our running yellow-car joke. You know how once you notice a yellow car, suddenly you start seeing yellow cars everywhere? They haven’t all magically appeared. Your attention has something to look for. 

What are our yellow cars? Are we noticing kindness? Disrespect? Beauty? Danger? Evidence that people care or proof that they’ll let us down? 

What if all that love, goodness, and possibility you’re longing for is already around you, waiting for you to notice it? 

This is one reason I love talking about energy and frequency. When I talk about what we’re vibrating, I’m talking about the inner state we carry into our lives. About what we feel, expect, believe, and bring into our interactions. 

Some of that comes from the families and lineages we were born into. Some comes from our experiences, the beliefs we absorbed, and the thoughts we’ve repeated so often that we no longer question them. 

Those patterns influence what catches our attention, how we interpret it, and how we respond. Our responses then help shape what happens next. And sometimes we’re so sure we’re seeing the whole picture when we’re really seeing the yellow cars we’ve learned to look for. 

Neither Devi nor I had the complete view. Her awareness caught things mine missed. My openness caught things hers missed. There was room for both.

And clearly, I could have used a little more situational awareness around that trash can. 

Being in a beautiful energy doesn’t mean everything around us will be beautiful. It doesn’t make us responsible for someone else’s behavior, or mean we attracted every difficult thing that happened to us. 

But we do have an opportunity to become curious about the lens we’re looking through. 

• What am I expecting to find today? 
• What old belief keeps directing my attention? 
• Is there an experience I still need help processing, so it doesn’t keep deciding what the present means? 

We can honor what happened to us and give those emotions the care they deserve. We can also begin making room for experiences that don’t fit the old story. 

And that’s where gratitude comes in.

With November inviting us into gratitude, this feels like a beautiful place to talk about deep, radical gratitude, and explore what happens when we allow ourselves to really receive the good in our lives, even while other parts remain hard.

The friend who makes us laugh. The person who follows through. The moment we feel supported. The beauty we almost walked past because our minds were somewhere else.

What if we gave those moments more of our attention? What if we allowed them to count as evidence, too? We might find ourselves more willing to connect, more able to receive support, and more aware of opportunities that align with what we desire. 

So this month, let’s notice our yellow cars. Let’s get curious about what our attention keeps returning to and gently invite it toward something we want more of. 

There may be more love, goodness, and possibility within reach than we’ve been allowing ourselves to see. 

I am so grateful for you! 

I have are EVENTS coming up! If any of these fit into your schedule, I'd love to have you join me, and please share with your people!

Nov. 5: 4th Energy Hygiene Dinner Talk on Deep Gratitude,

Nov. 8: Sacred Seasons Fall Gathering, 

Nov 14: 6th Annual Holiday Marketplace in Foxfield, CO. This is a fantastic market, and a great chance to support small businesses and "shop local" for the holidays. Stop by my booth and say hi!

Much Love,

Dena