Design Your Life

Stop living by default. Start living by design. 

Every decision puts you in a new frequency and creates your life experience. When we can create and decide from a higher, more loving frequency, we make decisions that are safe and support the experiences we desire. Every day we have the option to become the person we want to be and not continue to live from our past, or from an imagined fearful future. 

When we begin our day with intention, it helps us to stay focused on how we want to experience our daily events. When I send the intention to come from Love and Faith, I find that I am more calm and centered when I make decisions and less reactive. 
 

This gives me the power instead of giving life's circumstances the power. 

If I still find that I'm triggered in the day, I usually remember to reflect instead of going off into a poor me or an anger hole. I am often able to remember my intention and I reflect on why I may have been triggered. With this awareness, I can choose to do the work to clear the trigger. 
 

In the past, the trigger would give me permission to do something that doesn't feel good to my body, mind, or soul. 
 

Doing the proactive, preventive work stops that habit of falling into default mode and giving away our power, and allowing triggers to negatively influence our actions. 
 

Here are my 6 tips to stop living by default, turn on your power, and begin your day in creator mode: 

1. Start every day by setting intentions. Just like brushing your teeth, make this another morning habit. Set doable intentions that support how you want to feel throughout the day. 
2. Visualize It - Visualize your desired outcome. See and feel yourself experiencing exactly what you want to experience. It may be tempting to skip this step, but visualizing is an ACTION, and creates the feelings in your body as if it were happening. This puts you in the frequency of your desires. 
3. Intentionally raise your frequency. By raising your frequency, you will attract experiences that support how you truly want to feel. If you are vibing high, it is much easier to come from your heart and trust your intuition throughout the day. (read more tips here)
4. Get present - get present and stay present more often during your day. Your intention will fade if you allow your mind to fill up with distractions or stories that do not support how you want to feel. When you catch yourself not being present, take a conscious breath and see the energy of your heart chakra spin to “come back to center.” Keep this practice easy. 
5. Do your self-care! Listen to an inspiring or motivating podcast or book. Move, meditate, write, bust out your essential oils, whatever it is that helps you get quiet, go within and connect with yourself.
6. Connect and cultivate your connections.  Intentions are strengthened by connection. Connect or reach out to your people during the day to help keep your frequency high. If it is not easy to connect or reach out to the actual person, channel their Love, look at pictures/emails/notes from that person, or close your eyes and relive a wonderful memory you have with them.

When we begin our day like this we can create and decide from a higher, more loving frequency, so we are better able to address and clear the triggers. 

Here are five ways to defuse and unpack triggers that may still come up during the day: 

1. Breathe to create the pause – Breathing is always your best tool when you feel triggered, take a deep breath and pause before responding. This will help you to stop the initial impact of the trigger, creating that powerful pause where you get time to choose how to respond from a more grounded and centered place.
2. Identify the trigger - try to identify the specific event or situation that triggered you. Understanding your triggers can help you avoid similar situations in the future. It might sound like: “So and so did this and I felt angry. Why did I get angry? The anger is covering up that I feel... insecure and worry what they think about me. That must have come from xx story in my past, when I felt....”
3. Practice self-compassion - be kind and compassionate to yourself when you feel triggered. Remember that it is okay to feel emotions, and it is essential to accept and honor all feelings. Allow them to move through the body without the need to feed them.
4. Challenge negative thoughts - when triggered, our thoughts can be negative and self-critical. Challenge these thoughts and reframe them into more positive and empowering ones.
5. Reach out for help – if you're struggling with a trigger, reach out to those loved ones that can listen, an online chat group, a therapist, etc. You do not have to do this alone!

Sometimes we can’t get out of default mode and live powerfully because we have lost clarity. We are disconnected from our authentic selves, and unclear of who we are, what we value, and why we are here. It might be time to revisit yourself, sit down with your journal, and get clear on who you are, what lights you up, and what you are here for! Read more on getting clear here.

Designing your life is easier with some answers to these: 

• What are my core values, and how can I align them with my daily life and choices? 
• What lights me up? What brings me joy, fulfillment, and purpose? How can I prioritize these things in my life? 
• If I had no external limitations, what would I do with my life, and how can I take small steps toward that vision? 
• What is holding me back from living this life I truly desire? How can I take action, a small step to overcome these obstacles to create a life that feels authentic and meaningful to me? 

You're not stuck in your circumstances. You are the creator of your experience, and you can change it at any time. 

Please enjoy this Podcast with Shahroo Izadi and check out her book, “The Kindness Method” for more inspiration.
 

Much Love, 

Dena