What are you attracting?

Is this normal? 

My husband was shaking his head back and forth after reading a social media post and he asked, “Why can’t people just be kind? Why do they have to act like that?” 

We know that the answer is fear, but what can we do about it? Most of us are guilty of being mean from time to time and it’s because we are afraid of feeling something that is uncomfortable.

Renowned author and physician Gabor Maté would suggest that because of our experiences, specifically in childhood, it's too painful to be ourselves. 

This thought just pulls at my heartstrings. However, this is a reality for so many of us. Fear is normal, but it does not have to define us for our entire existence. 

Let's continue to self-reflect, heal, and be better. As a human still working on being "normal", here are some of my suggestions: 

Focus on how you want to feel and do your very best to stay in that feeling for as long as you possibly can. Even play games with yourself, and say, “I have felt good for an hour, I'm going to see if I can feel good for another hour,” and continue with this practice. 

Do an Authenticity audit: When we are disconnected from our authentic selves, we experience emotional and physical suffering. Where in your life are you not connected to and expressing your authentic self? Where do you feel like you have to "dress up" or present yourself in a way that doesn't feel natural or comfortable? Where does it feel too painful to be yourself? 

Continue to work on yourself and clear those subconscious stories and trauma. It is the stuck energy within us that has the frequency that tends to attract those instances that we don't want to experience. When we are no longer in fear of those experiences, we no longer attract them. 

Be conscious of where you spend your time and energy. I stopped staying up on the news a long time ago, but after many events over the past few years, I began to follow groups on social media, so I could be “in the know”. 

I recently began to unfollow more and more of them because they would put me in a state of fear. I found throughout the day, I would have visions of what they shared and it would affect my mood.

I decided that I do not need to be “in that know” anymore. Be mindful of your inputs, and unfollow your former spiritual inspirations if they choose to go down a rabbit hole of fear. 

If I cannot actively control it, I am not spending my energy on it. 
 
As you well know, I love to share wisdom and transformative resources with you and I highly recommend watching Gabor Maté's Healing Trauma in a Toxic Culture - with Dr. Gabor Maté | Know Thyself LIVE Podcast EP 33 here. Or listen on Spotify here.

Please also get your hands on a copy of his latest book, The Myth of Normal. I believe this should be required reading for every human.

You hear me say focus on the best possible outcome often and it is so that you create the experiences you do desire instead of focusing on the worst possible outcome which attracts those experiences that you do not desire. 

Much Love,

Dena Gould