Perfectionist? Stop It!

Have you ever set goals and wanted something to happen, but then let worry get in the way and stop your progress? Do you feel like you need something to look a certain way before you can move forward? Are you looking for a guarantee that you will be successful before you jump? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then here’s an important piece of advice: STOP being attached to the outcome and START actually enjoying the process.

Perfection is an elusive thing to chase because, put simply, it will always be in the future! How many times have you said, “I can’t be happy until I accomplish this…” or “I will be successful once I have that…”? If you think about it, you’ve probably already achieved a million this’s and that’s in your life and…are you happy yet? Are you enough yet? Did you even acknowledge when you reached these goals, or did you move on to the next “antidote” for some state of future happiness?

The key to finding your happiness is in this moment and this moment alone. Stop putting happiness at some unattainable finish line. At the end of the day, you have to create and find meaning in your life through the things you can accomplish and the experiences that you want to enjoy TODAY! Fear and worry suck and they can paralyze you if you let them. The good news is you don’t have to. You do have a choice. Let’s start with 10 steps that can help you stay on track:

1. Write down what you want to accomplish.Then, create a bulleted list with very doable steps for getting there. This can actually become quite fun!

2. Research what needs to be researched. Be sure to set time limits, though, to avoid wasting time or procrastinating.

3. Enjoy the process. Take time to reflect on your experiences, laugh at your fumbles and learn to appreciate the perfect moments that come from your imperfection.

4. Set a completion date for your intention.Be realistic, but don’t give yourself too much time or it may be difficult to stay focused.

5. Tell people about your intention. Ask them to hold you accountable or maybe even establish a formal accountability partner. Many times, they’ll offer great advice or assistance when you need it most. Be sure to accept it and thank them for it.

6. Say, “I am enough; I am more than enough” every time that you are tempted to get into your head and create drama. Instead, share with a friend or your accountability partner your freak-out moments. They will likely offer great advice and tell you to “STOP IT” when you start believing that you’re not enough. Or, if you can’t find a friend at that moment, watch this video for a reminder: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhQGzeiYS_Q

7. Enjoy the process. [repeated as #3]

8. Set aside at least 15 minutes a day.Dedicate time, whether a few minutes or a few hours, to taking action toward your goal - and be sure to take stock of your progress!

9. Ask for help. Sometimes you may get stuck or need inspiration. All you have to do is ask for help and you’ll be amazed at how many people are willing to give it to you. For example, I know I’m not the best writer. So, I ask for help from friends to edit my work. Let me tell you, it has completely FREED me! Without that fear of publishing something “wrong,” I have been writing more than ever - and the more I do it, the better I become!

10. Start today. It took me three years to get my website up and running because of my fear of writing. It’s up now, but imagine if I would have followed these steps back then! I would have spent much more time feeling happy and empowered instead of living in the land of worry and fear.