It's My Parent's Fault

You probably have friends who had unimaginable childhoods, but they appear to be doing well and stay positive about life. You may also know people who had what appear to be great childhoods, but they live in "poor me" mode and blame everything and everyone for their unhappiness. What’s the conclusion we can draw from this? It’s that we are in control of our own happiness. And while taking responsibility for this isn’t always easy, it is so freeing!

So, what’s standing in the way of your happiness? Could it be the constant struggle to be perfect—wanting to please others or control everything when you are triggered ? Do you find yourself feeling responsible for everyone else’s happiness so that you can finally be enough?

If you’ve had a session with me, you know that together we try to understand where your limiting beliefs began. And it almost always started with our parents. But the truth is, it began WAY before our parents. Even if it’s not always obvious, it has usually been passed down through our lineage in some form or another. Just because we inherited these stories doesn’t mean we have to continue them, however. It can stop with you. Or at the very least, it can get better.

I have shared before about the power of sitting in your shit and releasing the past, but today I want to focus on releasing our parents. First, try to empathize with their experiences that may have triggered their behavior. What happened in their childhoods that could have caused them to act or treat you in a certain way? If you can’t go there with it, then take your power back from them and release the story. Say to yourself, “My parents and the story that I am stupid, selfish, not enough, etc. will not validate me or rule my life. I no longer blame them for my unhappiness because life is too short and I can choose differently.”

If you are a parent, think about how empowering it will be for you be able to avoid “poisoning” your own children in the same way that you were “poisoned” by their triggers. (Read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz to learn more about how this works). Know that there is humility in this work, however, and that it’s not always easy. But, running from the suffering isn’t a long-term solution. You have to first feel it, be with it and then release it.