I Couldn't Breathe, Sleep, Think...

I don't remember exactly what she said because I was too busy being pissed off. It went something like this: "You do hear yourself, right? You are projecting what you didn't have onto your daughter. You didn't get to have certain experiences, so you are getting upset because she is choosing something different than what you would have chosen!” My eyes got wide, I took a deep breath and cussed my dear friend out.

How could I not see it? I teach this stuff! I took pride in not projecting my wants onto my kids. I didn't make her take dance when she no longer enjoyed it. I wasn't the helicopter mom. I forced her to make her own difficult decisions. But here I was, spewing ugliness onto my girlfriend because I couldn't breathe, sleep, think...

I had recently learned that my 20-year-old daughter was pregnant. She was in her junior year of college and I was frustrated and heartbroken because I didn't want her to throw away the opportunities that we had afforded her. Because I didn't get to have the experience that she was having. Apparently, the universe had other plans for all of us. Apparently, it wasn't about me. It took me a little—ok, a long while—to get over my anger and frustration, but I did. Sometimes you just have to go with what life is offering.

Over this past couple months, I have held space for many clients to clear the fog, anger, fear and sadness. Many of us are having trouble wrapping our brains around what life has been offering lately. We’re not able to understand why we are so separated in the United States. But it is our reality—whether we like it or not.

What are our options? Well, we can keep living in the heaviness, or we take a breath and share our feelings with friends that will call us on our shit. If you don’t have a friend like that, come have a session with me. Let's take steps that support our beliefs and allow ourselves to feel better. It's just another story you know. We don't have to believe it.