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The Anger Bubble and how to safely transform it
Did I really just attract another $hitty boss?
Do this before you create your New Year's Intentions
A tool for transformation that has most helped me this year. Discover Heart Coherence and how it helps you on your healing journey.
What are you attracting?
We are doing the holidays differently this year!
Which role have you been playing? Back in 2003, I learned about the idea of archetypes through Carolyn Myss's book, "Sacred Contracts." At that time, I began to explore the idea of archetypes and how they shape our understanding of ourselves and the world around us. But soon focused my attention on the next shiny inspiration. Recently, I had such a great ah-ha moment while listening to Robert Edward Grant as he discussed the villain archetype. Robert questioned whether there was even a need for anyone to play the role of the villain in his life any longer. This just made me smile because I have been wondering if I needed to play the victim archetype any longer. Robert took this archetype idea to another level for me. I’ve shared in the past that my journey with an autoimmune disease led me to confront my own deeply embedded pity party or victim archetype. I had been playing the role of the wounded healer for far too long. However, 2023 has been a transformative year for me as I've developed a deeper understanding of my victim archetype and its presence in all of us. In my work with couples and my own relationship with my husband, it has become evident that the desire to play the victim is a common thread. Imagine, though, what our romantic relationships would look like if none of us felt the need to be the victim? This awareness has not only transformed my relationships with others but, more importantly, my relationship with myself. None of us are immune to the victim archetype . It shows up in creative levels. And of course, it boils down to self-love. It always will! If we no longer require the role of the victim to seek acceptance or love, we liberate ourselves completely. The truth emerges that, deep down, we all yearn for pure love and acceptance. In fact, I believe that if we release the need to embody any specific archetype – whether it's the hero, the villain, or the victim – we can embrace a purer form of love and acceptance . After all, we've all played these roles at different points in our lives . When we shed these labels, we become free to be our authentic selves and contribute from the heart to the collective consciousness. This month let’s explore these three archetypes within ourselves and find ways to release the need for such roles so that we can shine our Light of pure Love, Acceptance, and Authenticity. Grab your journal, or self-reflect on some of these prompts: The Victim Archetype: Empowerment Over Victimhood: The victim archetype often comes out of a sense of powerlessness. To move beyond it, we've got to cultivate empowerment by recognizing that we are the creators of reality. What can I do now to feel good without needing someone else to suffer? Self-Compassion : Growth involves developing self-compassion and realizing that acknowledging our vulnerabilities doesn't equate to weakness. We can learn to be kinder to ourselves. Talk to your inner child in the ways you need to be spoken to. The Hero Archetype: Authenticity: Moving past the hero archetype requires embracing authenticity. We must let go of the need to always appear strong and perfect and allow ourselves to be genuine, flaws and all. How would it feel to be courteous and allow myself to be seen fully? Emotional Balance: Instead of constantly seeking external validation, we grow when we are able to find validation from within. Make a list of things about you that you are proud of. Allow your body and mind to feel valued. The Villain Archetype: Self-Reflection: To transcend the villain archetype, we must cultivate compassionate understanding. We can no longer blame anyone or anything for our unhappiness. I wonder how I would experience life if I wasn’t allowed to blame anyone else for my unhappiness. What would it feel like to feel the emotions I have spent my life avoiding? Forgiveness: Releasing the need for a villain archetype requires forgiveness, not just of others but also of ourselves. We must let go of grudges and judgments to find inner peace. In what ways can I take my power back from those who have hurt me? When the old hurtful stories pop up in your mind, state over and over, “I Love me more.” Choose to no longer live in the past. Moving Beyond Archetypes in into your Authentic Self: To really move beyond these archetypes, keep journaling and digging into these, and continue to focus on being self-aware and committed to doing the work to grow and be your favorite version of you! Remember that we have the power to shape our responses to life's challenges. When we feel safe to be who we are the rest of the world can do the same. Let’s create a better reality. You don't have to do it alone! If you are needing some help working through and releasing stuck emotions and limiting beliefs, and finding your Light π« Come in for a session with meπ« or join some of my upcoming workshops . Much Love, Dena
My community bubble vibrates higher than Love! My family moved in 2020 to be closer to where our children played competitive soccer. Prior to moving, we had no life because of the daily travel to soccer. Since the move, we have gotten our personal lives back. Unfortunately, this neighborhood is not as diverse as I would like and at times it feels like a bubble. I had learned to steer clear of the social app Next Door because I was in awe of the things that were being discussed there. Recently, I found myself in my own little bubble: A friend had recently taught me the differences about a specific product. It was interesting to me, and I found myself trying to share this with someone who was in a neighboring network. When I tried to share the new wisdom, he appeared a bit defensive, and I observed his ego wall go up. I sincerely cannot say the last time I had a one-on-one experience like that. I felt I was sharing valuable information. This made me aware of my own bubble. I happen to LOVE my cozy bubble filled with “my” humans who aren’t afraid to feel the feels! And there was my aha moment: The people in my neighborhood Love their bubble too. Ignorance is truly bliss. Studies have been done that support that you are only as good as the people you surround yourself with. That's what I want to address this month. I am constantly telling my people how grateful I am for them. And this includes YOU. I know I've shared before that I had set a very specific intention to attract a clientele that truly wants to do the work and that is in resonance with the same intentions as me. Yes, I'm taking credit for manifesting you! I love and adore you so much. You amaze me with your ability to do the hard things, to just jump in with both feet and honor the suffering that had been locked away for so many years - not an easy feat. I adore the way you have opened to all of the possibilities. I watch you in awe as you begin to create your experiences and manifest your desires. You challenge me and help me to become the best version of myself every day. I feel blessed that my close girlfriends are comfortable to be 100% honest with me. They call me out on things when I'm not ready to step into it, but also inspire and cheer me on so that I feel supported and safe. We can truly have the hard conversations and clear the air and not take anything too personally. They challenge me and help me become the best version of myself every day. Close friends can be mirrors for one another and sometimes share the same mirror, which may cause a lot of giggles. Friends tend to focus on the good and help us shine even brighter. Here are five ways they challenge us and help us be authentic: Honest Conversations: True friends aren't afraid to have those heart-to-heart talks, even if they're difficult. They challenge us by asking the hard questions that encourage us to dig deep and confront our beliefs and actions. Calling Out Inauthenticity: Close friends just know when we're not being true to ourselves. They'll kindly call us out, reminding us to stay genuine. Holding Space: When we share our fears, dreams, and struggles with our friends, it paves the way for authenticity. True friends create a safe space where we can be open and vulnerable without judgment. Supporting Our Passions: Authenticity blooms when we pursue our passions. Close friends are here to cheer and motivate us to follow our dreams simply because they are our dreams! They remind us of what truly matters to us, and to go for it. Respecting Differences: Our friends don't always agree with us, and that's a good thing. Experiencing diverse perspectives challenges us and helps us grow and evolve as we navigate through different viewpoints. It gives us a safe place to learn to disagree respectfully and without conflict. When friendships don’t feel authentic, or we don’t feel as connected or close as we would like, take a look back at these 5 ways, and see if there are any that you are not putting into your friendships. Pick a friendship you would like to feel more connected in and take a small step toward authenticity with that person. When we show up for our friends, we give them permission to show up for us and vice versa. Authentic connections with friends align us with our journey to help us feel safe in our light and shine brighter. There is NOTHING more fulfilling than being authentic. Authenticity vibrates at a higher frequency than Love! Much Love, Dena
