Daddy Issues

A few days after Thanksgiving, I vividly remember passing the elementary school in my neighborhood the moment the feeling come over me. It felt beautiful and light-hearted, and I remember asking, "What is this?"

"FREEDOM!" I heard myself respond.

In that moment of realization, "Soldier of Love" by Sade came across the radio. The song carries a lot of meaning for me, and I burst into tears, thanking my spirit guides for the perfect sign. I was validated in my choice to have released my father nine years ago and, at that moment, was experiencing total and utter energetic freedom.

Last October, one of my repeat clients that did not have a relationship with her father kept wondering why this was?

- Why wasn't she enough?
- Why did he do this and not do that?

Stories were being created in her head while trying to understand his choices. I suggested that she ask her dad directly why she hadn't been enough - instead of creating her own, likely false, explanation (read her story in the article below to see what happened).

I later shared this client experience with a girlfriend who also missed out on a relationship with her father. Out of curiosity, we decided to make a pact and ask our fathers why we hadn't been enough for them. I sent my father a text message on Thanksgiving, and the short version of his response was, "YOU WON" (it was even capitalized in the text).

- What the hell does that even mean?!
- Our relationship was not a game?!

We exchanged communication and I was sincerely asking for some explanation, but ended up with him repeating "YOU WON."

After the text exchange, I shook my head with confusion, but also somehow with some sense of understanding. I celebrated that I did not get hot even once - and THAT was big for me. We are on different journeys now, and the roles we "played" for one another are done. I am very proud that, many years ago, I decided to no longer have any conversations in my head attempting to prove my value to him and that, as a matter of fact, it was the situation with him that initiated that "superpower" within me.

It's interesting how whenever there is an emotional charge, a memory is usually created. It is because of this that I have another vivid memory around my father. – One of driving on Quebec Street and telling myself, "you only have three minutes to prove your value in your head with him." After those three minutes, I forced myself to stop - and it worked! It took persistence and effort over a few weeks, but I was committed to the process because I knew that he wasn't going to change - and I wanted to make sure to only spend my energy on things that I could control, such as my happiness. This is one of the most freeing things I have ever done for myself and it began a snowball effect of me taking control of the crazy voice in my head that likes to make up stories. I know this is a life-long endeavor, but it continues to get better over time. (See?! I do practice what I preach!)

Regardless of the situation, I am faced with, I do my best to control where my energy goes!

For many years, I found Father's Day very difficult, so I felt it appropriate to share my story this month. There will always be a touch of wonder and confusion, but right now, I don't feel any of that. I know that I will continue to release energy around my father. His spirit still shows up when I receive my own energy clearings, but I feel the freedom more than I ever have, and for that, I am very grateful.

Most of us have been "poisoned" in one way or another by our life experiences, but we can CHOOSE to turn that poison into our antidote. We can choose to allow the cycle to stop with us!

THE CYCLE CAN STOP WITH US!

We are the ancestral antidote. I'm so blessed to witness you do this for yourselves in sessions. I don't care how creative we have to get or how long it takes, as long as we are consciously taking control of our negative-feeling thoughts. It's not easy because we know that the stories have become part of us, but let's do what we do and...

BE THE DAMN LIGHT!

Much Love,
Dena

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