Finding the Magic in the Chaos

Choosing Love Over Fear in a Heavy World

Sun, 05 Apr 2026 08:14:55 GMT

Don't let the bumper sticker win!

An attendee from our recent women’s retreat shared something that really stayed with me. She had been struggling, like so many of us, with the heaviness of the world. Watching the news every day, feeling it drain her, pull her down, and disconnect her from herself. It was affecting her energy in a way she could feel, but didn’t quite know how to shift.

And honestly, Ingrid, that’s where so many people are right now.

When the World Feels Heavy, It’s Not Just in Your Head

During the retreat, we did the work. We cleared energy, practiced how to cleanse, protect, and charge our own field, and took our power back from old stories. We talked about coming back to center, back to Love, and yes, how to tell that negative voice to shut the heck up.

It wasn’t surface level. It was real, intentional, and something she leaned into fully. You could feel she was ready for something to shift.

What Happens When You Actually Shift Your Energy

After the retreat, she shared an experience with me that said everything. She hugged another woman, and during that hug, something moved through her body. She described it as this beautiful, tingly energy that stayed even after they let go.

That right there is what happens when we start doing the work. We become more open, more aware, and more connected to what’s actually moving through us.

This Is the Power You Create

That moment filled my heart for two reasons. One, because she trusted me enough to share it. And two, because I could feel how much she had raised her frequency through her own willingness to show up and shift.

This wasn’t something given to her. This was something she created through her awareness. And that’s where the real power is.

The Real Test: Choosing Love in the Moment

The very next day, I had my own opportunity to practice what I teach. I was driving to work when a big truck cut me off, covered in bumper stickers that were not in alignment with my values.

In the past, I would have gone straight into judgment, maybe even had a nasty thought, and then attempted to “send Love” while still feeling triggered underneath it. You know that version, where we say the right thing but don’t actually feel it.

But this time was different. I caught it immediately and chose something else.

How to Shift Your Energy in Real Time

I took a deep breath and went straight into gratitude. I started naming everything I was grateful for:

I’m grateful that I choose Love.
I’m grateful that I practice kindness.
I’m grateful that I am self-aware.
I’m grateful that people come from different life experiences.
I’m grateful that I can hold compassion, even when I don’t agree.
I’m grateful that I’m a helper.
I’m grateful that Mr. Rogers would be proud of me.

And then I changed lanes, without giving my power away.

No spiral. No emotional hangover. No carrying that energy into the rest of my day.

Just clear, grounded, and fully in my own energy.

Becoming Your Own Anchor

Because sometimes we don’t have our hype people sitting next to us reminding us who we are. So we have to become that voice for ourselves.

Love and Gratitude Are Frequencies You Can Choos e

Love and gratitude are powerful frequencies for us to operate from, and when we choose them intentionally, they change our lives. Not just how we feel, but what we create, what we attract, and how we move through the world.

Our thoughts can pull us down quickly, but they can also lift us just as fast when we become aware of them.

Give yourself grace when you slip. And celebrate all of the wins.

A Simple Challenge for This Month

So this month, I’m keeping it simple. I’m choosing to operate from love and gratitude as much as I possibly can. April is my birthday month, and I’ve decided to love the hell out of everything.

And I would Love for you to join me in that.

Let’s challenge ourselves to see how long we can stay in a state of love and gratitude before slipping back into old patterns. Let’s notice how quickly we can catch ourselves when we do and shift it.

Try These Questions Instead

Instead of asking “why is this happening?” try asking:

What can I do with this?
What can I shift?
What’s good about this experience?
What if I let myself feel this fully, honor it, and then let it go?

Creating a Ripple Effect

Try it. And when you do, share your experience with me and with others. This is how we create a positive ripple effect. One moment, one choice, one shift at a time.

Please also comment on my social media posts… because, well, it’s my birthday month. HA!

I see you. I’m grateful for you. And I Love your light.

Much Love,

Dena

Tools For Neutralizing Old Entanglements

Mon, 23 Feb 2026 05:39:36 GMT

I can't believe she didn't get it yet...

And by "she", I mean me, of course!

I swear, I've been carrying this "knowledge" around for decades, but it finally clicked, and landed in my body.

For most of my life, my sense of worth was tied to doing. A lot of that was shaped by growing up feeling like I had to outperform just to be seen, recognized, or valued.

In January, my best friend, Devi, and I attended an incredibly powerful Human Design conference. Something shifted for me there. It was not just information. It was understanding myself on a level that finally landed in my body.

I Love ah-ha moments!

I have spent years working to release the entanglement between my worth and my productivity.

I have done deep emotional work around it. But this experience, combined with quality time with someone who has known me since I was ten years old, created a different level of truth. When we sit with someone who truly sees us, who can call us forward and call us out with Love, we cannot hide from ourselves.

And we did exactly that. We went back and forth, exploring who we are, how we process life, and how we have shaped ourselves to survive and succeed.

And something finally clicked.

I am safe to just be me.

I do not have to constantly prove my value through doing.

I do not have to overextend to earn my place.

“I am enough.”

Will I still do big things? Uh, Yeah! That is part of who I am. Creation and expansion live in me.

But now it feels different.

It feels chosen instead of required. It feels aligned instead of driven by subconscious fear.

I am happy to share that I feel like I did the work and truly released the entanglement between my worthiness and my output.

I think part of that moment was receiving permission from Devi to finally let that go. Isn’t it interesting how sometimes we simply need permission?!

We are far more powerful than we know. Our presence shifts rooms. Our choices shift timelines. Our healing ripples into people we may never meet. There is nothing small about the work we are doing inside ourselves.

This month, let's stop thinking about becoming someone new or "better". Let's focus on giving ourselves permission to outgrow versions of ourselves and change faster than people expect. Let's release and remove the B.S. stories that no longer and probably never did, serve us.

If something inside us is ready to be released, we can trust that timing. Old energy does not leave because we force it. It leaves because we finally believe we deserve to live without it.

We are not here to stay entangled in old stories. We are here to live as the light that was always underneath them.

Do you need permission let go of something you are carrying?

We are here for you! Join us at Sol Rejuvenation! We have a few spaces left at our Women's Retreat March 5-8, near Denver, visit here for the details and 4-day agenda: Embrace Retreats

I've included more about understanding and releasing Entanglement below, I hope this helps!

Neutralizing Energetic Entanglements

There comes a moment on any growth path where we realize not all of the energy we carry is actually ours. Some of it was inherited. Some of it was absorbed. Some of it was agreed to in moments when we did not yet know our own power. March feels like an invitation for us to gently but firmly untangle ourselves from anything that keeps us looping in old timelines and other peoples' stories.

Entanglements can look like emotional cords to past versions of ourselves. They can look like loyalty to family patterns that were never meant to define us. They can show up as repeating relationship dynamics, money ceilings, or that subtle feeling of heaviness that makes no logical sense but sits in the body anyway. None of this means we are broken. It means we are sensitive, aware, and powerful enough to recognize when something is ready to be released. I am seeing so much more of this in my practice and in the conversations with the people around me.

Neutralizing entanglements is not about cutting ourselves off from people or from love. It’s not just the cutting of cords. It is about returning energy to its rightful home. It is about finally standing in our truth. When we clear entanglements, we do not become less connected. We become more authentic in how we connect. We begin to respond with awareness and not react from fear, because a button was pushed. The buttons begin to dissipate.

There is a quiet confidence that comes when we stop our old stories. There is more room for creativity and joy. We actually soften. I have been softening more and it gives me ALL OF THE FEELS.

Old energy is heavy because it is completed. New energy is light because it is alive and moving. March is about choosing movement over memory. When a memory is the cause of your suffering, it’s time to move.

We are not here to drag the past into the future just because it is familiar. We are here to consciously choose what continues with us and what gets thanked and released.

Tools For Neutralizing Old Entanglements

1. The Awareness Reset

• Sit with one repeating pattern in our life
• Ask internally: Is this truly mine or was it learned, inherited, or absorbed
• Notice what the body says before the mind tries to explain

2. The Return To Sender Visualization

• Breathe into the heart space
• Imagine any heavy or stagnant energy gently dissolving into neutral light
• See that light returning to wherever it belongs with neutrality and completion
• Affirm internally: Only what is truly mine is allowed to remain

3. Nervous System Freedom Practice
• Place one hand on the heart and one on the lower belly
• Speak out loud: I am safe in my own field. I am allowed to evolve beyond old agreements. I choose energy that supports my expansion

4. Future Self Anchor

• Visualize the version of us who is fully clear, fully expressed, and fully resourced
• Notice how that version stands, breathes, and makes decisions
• Let the body practice that posture for at least one full minute

Every time we choose truth over habit, we collapse an old entanglement. Every time we choose self-trust over old fear, we rewrite the energetic contract.

The Return of the Yin

Tue, 27 Jan 2026 13:53:12 GMT

A different kind of invitation...

Have you noticed...
the return of the yin feminine container?!

Lately, I have been feeling a different kind of invitation in the air. A quiet return to the yin. A softer way of being that is not passive, not weak, and definitely not waiting for anyone to “make it safe” for us.

I want to name something clearly: this softening is not dependent on the masculine stepping up. And it is not a dig at the masculine, either. It is simply a remembering. A collective permission slip to come back into the body, into breath, into presence, into receptivity.

Now, I know the word safe can feel complicated right now. The world is loud. Politics are intense. And if you are paying attention at all, you may feel the edge of that in your nervous system. So let me say it this way: even when the world is turbulent, we can create an inner container that holds us. We can choose to build a sanctuary inside ourselves. We can choose to soften without surrendering our discernment. We can breathe in the feminine without abandoning our strength.

And this is where I want to gently include the masculine in the room. The masculine is not being asked to disappear or perform or hold everything together. It is being invited to rest from constant output. To reconnect with creativity instead of pressure. To remember that stillness is not stagnation and softness is not failure. When the masculine allows space for creativity, intuition, and quiet listening, it becomes more embodied, more present, and more resilient.

Not weaker. Wiser.
This is a practice for all of us.
Inhale into spaciousness.
Exhale into groundedness.

Expand our capacity to stay open and steady at the same time. The yin is not an escape. It is a deeper kind of power. And I believe we are being asked to embody it now.

If you want to play with this, try this for one minute:
Breathe in through the nose and feel your ribcage widen.
Breathe out slowly and let your shoulders drop.
On the exhale, ask: What would softness feel like if it was safe inside me?

Fire Horse energy

Chinese New Year begins on February 17, 2026, and it marks the Year of the Fire Horse.
Fire Horse energy is movement, momentum, and truth with the volume turned up. It is catalytic. It wants clear pathways. It does not like cluttered corners, clogged schedules, or old emotional piles we keep stepping around.

So here is our simple February practice: clear space so energy can move.

Not a full-blown weekend purge. We are not punishing ourselves with a marathon clean. We are doing the powerful, sane thing: 15 minutes a day. The FlyLady.net (I’ve been a fan since, as my youngest would say, “the late 19’s.” It keeps cleaning simple without overwhelm.

*For those with predominantly masculine energy, this is a calling for you to tap into your creative side and your stillness.

The Fire Horse 15-minute list:
Front door and flow

Set a timer for 15 minutes.
Pick one item at a time.
Stop when the timer ends.

Front door and entry

Remove anything that does not belong in the entryway.
Clear the floor completely so the energy can “land.”
Wipe the doorknob and the inside of the door.
Shake out the mat or vacuum it.
Put a bowl or small tray by the door for keys and sunglasses.

Walkways and flow paths

Clear the main walkway from the front door to the kitchen.
Clear the walkway from the bedroom to the bathroom.
Clear the walkway from the living room to the back door.
If you trip over it, it does not live there.

Quick clutter decisions

Trash
Donate
Belongs elsewhere
Keep and put away immediately

Body and mind clutter, too

Drink one extra glass of water.
Open a window for two minutes.
Unclench your jaw.
Write down the one repeating thought that is stealing your peace, then ask: Is this even mine?

If you want a little extra Fire Horse magic, do this right after you finish:

Stand at your front door.
Take one deep inhale.
Exhale and imagine the pathway in front of you clearing.
Then say, out loud, “My energy has room to move now.”

If you want extra support and a powerful container to clear your personal clutter before we step into the Chinese New Year, it would be a beautiful time to join us on February 1st for Sacred Seasons . We will clear what is heavy, reset what is stuck, and make room for what is next, together.

Thanks for taking the time!

Much Love,

Dena

Seven B.S. thoughts that are sucking our energy

Tue, 30 Dec 2025 08:28:41 GMT

Release, Remember, and Step into What Matters

Lately, many of us have not been living. We have been managing. Checking boxes. Holding it together. Moving from one obligation to the next. I found that even when I consciously attempted to be present, I still was not overly excited about the moment or even the next event. I was existing.

We wake up. We do the things. We go to bed. Repeat.

Somewhere along the way, we slipped into constant go mode and forgot to honor the experience. I remember getting ready for an event and thinking, when did I stop getting excited? I’m just going from thing to thing. When everything feels urgent, *|FNAME|*, nothing feels safe, sacred, or special.

So this January, instead of pushing harder or reinventing ourselves again, what if we gently pulled back? What if we released what has quietly been draining us and returned to what actually brings us home to ourselves?

Here's your January invitation to release, remember, and step into what matters.

This is a gentle release (no drama required!)

This is not about forcing positivity or pretending things have been easy.
It is about lovingly putting down what no longer deserves our energy.

This January, we can gently release these 7 B.S. thoughts that are sucking our energy!

1. The pressure to stay upbeat when honesty is what heals. Listen, I am always going to be irritatingly positive, because I know our vibe creates our reality, but I will also be authentically me and have fits as needed.

2. Carrying responsibility that was never ours. I observe many of you taking on other people’s stuff, from their obligations to emotions. Let’s stop that for sure!

3. Overexplaining ourselves to people who are not listening. I am so guilty of this. It’s obvious childhood “I’m not enough” trauma. I am ready to let this go! How about you?

4. Constant scrolling that leaves us numb instead of nourished. Can we commit to this: More connection with our humans instead?

5. The Timeline: Many of you believe that you should be further along than you are. Yikes! This “thought” will cause a lot of suffering. Let this one go.

6. Hustling to prove our worth. I am so guilty of this one, too. Or better yet, “rest has to be earned” …Eww!

7. Holding it together when what we really need is to scream and exhale. Let's scream if we need to, and cry it out (this may not fit the gentle theme, but if it's what's needed, we go for it!).

Nothing here requires fixing. Only releasing. Letting go is not quitting. Let’s choose to live lighter and make space for what matters.

So how do we do this?!

1. We slow down.

When I talk about slowing down, I am not talking about doing less or not getting the things done that need to be done. I am talking about returning to the small moments that quietly keep us connected to life...
The first sip of coffee or tea before the day pulls us forward.
A warm shower that cleanses our energy field and reminds us of who we are.
A shared laugh that surprises us.
A familiar voice that makes us feel steady.

Those moments when our shoulders soften without effort, and we realize we have been holding our breath. These things do not shout for our attention, yet they carry enormous frequency . Gratitude is not about pretending everything is wonderful or bypassing what is real. It is about allowing the ordinary to become sacred again. Self-Love is not indulgence. It is presence, and it gives us permission to actually be here for our lives.

2. We name it:

We need a word to hold the year.

Each year, I invite us to choose one word. Not a resolution. Not a checklist. Just one word that holds the energy of how we want to experience the year.

Last year, my word was Love. When I remembered it, I would do my best to soften with myself and others. I did my best to show up when things felt tender or uncertain.

This year, my word is READY. Ready to receive. Ready to trust myself. Ready to say yes when it is aligned and no when it is not. Ready to be present instead of being braced. Ready to let life meet me without forcing it. This word is not about doing more or pushing harder. It is about availability and stepping into whatever arises.

Allow your word to be honest. Let it feel steady. Let it feel kind. Let it feel true.

3. Let the word meet the moment

Once you have your word, allow it to gently guide your day-to-day choices. You do not need to analyze it or make it complicated. Simply notice. How would today feel if I moved from my word? What would alignment look like in this moment? What wants to be simpler right now?
This is how frequency shifts without force.
This is how we move from surviving to savoring.
Slowly. Honestly. One present moment at a time.

4. We expand from Self to Sacred Community

As we slow down enough to truly notice our own lives, something subtle begins to happen. We start to notice each other again and listen more fully. We gather with intention and create small moments that remind us we are not meant to do this alone. Thriving is rarely a solo act. It is built through shared intention, quiet rituals, meaningful pauses, and the simple act of being witnessed.

This is why, if you are feeling called to go a little deeper, the Water Fast can be a beautiful place to begin. This experience is not about deprivation or pushing the body. It is about alignment. It is about clearing what no longer serves, creating sacred connection, and listening more deeply to yourself and to life. If you are craving simplicity, presence, and clarity, consider this an invitation to meet yourself there.

And so I offer you a simple practice for January.

There is no big assignment here and no pressure to get it right. Each day, simply notice one small thing you feel grateful for. Let it be ordinary. Let it be simple. Speak it out loud and allow yourself to actually feel it for a moment instead of rushing past it. Let it land in your body. Let it soften you. Then, gently ask yourself how your word wants to show up today. Not in a dramatic way, but in the smallest, most honest way possible. That question alone is enough to shift things. Truly. We are allowed to live again. Not when everything is figured out. Not someday. Now.

With much love and a very deep breath,

Dena

P.S. You know I love to hear from you. If you feel like sharing, hit comment or send me an email with one of these:

My word for the year is ____________________ and it represents ____________________.

One thing I am ready to release this year is ____________________.

One small moment that felt sacred to me today was ____________________.

Something simple that brings me back to myself is ____________________.

We are building something quieter.
And far more powerful.

A Soft Reset Into Your True Frequency: Ending the Year in Love, Light, and Alignment

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 23:54:21 GMT

Micro-moments to shift your energy

Hey Beautiful Souls,

I know this year may not have been a smooth ride. November especially felt like it pulled many of us into heaviness we thought we had already cleared. I felt it, too! I forgot for a moment that I am the creator of my frequency, the one who decides how I respond and who I become. And if you found yourself slipping into old patterns or old stories, you were not alone. We walked through it together, even if we did not say it out loud.

So, I want this month to be something different.
I want us to end 2025 in a frequency that feels like truth.
A frequency that feels like love.
A frequency that helps us remember who we are and why we came here in the first place.

December is busy . It is full of plans, obligations, and expectations. Let’s not add pressure. We are not adding another layer of perfection or shutting down because of overload. Let’s choose small, meaningful steps that uplift us and bring us back home to ourselves. Steps that help us stay aligned with what we desire instead of getting tangled in what we cannot control.

We cannot control the world or the people around us, but we absolutely can control our thoughts, our choices, and the way we show up. That alone is powerful beyond measure.

Three Simple Frequency Shifts for December

1. Gratitude — the kind that softens the heart

Gratitude is one of the quickest ways to shift our internal state.

We can journal it.
We can say it out loud.
We can think it while driving or brushing our teeth.
We can turn it into art if creativity is our love language.

It does not matter how we do it. What matters is that we pause long enough to see the beauty that is already here. When we honor what is good, more goodness finds us.

2. Heart-centered breathing to reconnect with our inner light

This practice is almost too simple, which is why it gets overlooked.

Place awareness on the front and back of the chest.
Inhale as if breath is moving in through both sides of the heart space.
Exhale the same way.
Let your inner light expand a little more with each breath.

This is how we return to our own energy. This is how we come back into alignment when the world feels loud. This is how we remember that our light is not something we chase. It is something we choose.

3. One small act of kindness each day

Not for the holidays.
Not because it is expected.
But because kindness raises our own frequency.
It reminds us that we are connected.
It reminds us that love is our nature.

This can be something tiny:
A genuine smile.
A quick text letting someone know a thought of them passed through our heart.
Helping someone reach something at the grocery store.
Holding a door.
Leaving an encouraging note.
Allowing someone to get in front of you in line.
Letting yourself soften instead of react.

These micro moments shift our chemistry, our energy, and our entire day. We may think they are small, but energetically they ripple far wider than we realize.

Closing the Year With Intention

This month, let us give ourselves the gift of remembering.
Remembering that we are powerful.
Remembering that we are creators.
Remembering that we are responsible for our happiness.
Remembering that love is not something that happens to us — it is something we choose to embody. So be the Goddamn Light. Ha!

We do not need to do one big dramatic thing to end this year well.
We just need small, intentional acts that align us with who we truly are.

Let’s do our best to be present this month and truly enjoy and encourage the magic. Together, we can walk into the new year with a frequency that feels like truth.

I love you, and I am grateful we get to walk this path as a community.

Let us end this year in light and lots and lots of LOVE.

Much Love,

Dena

Intentional Holiday Gifts for Healing, Energy, and Inner Renewal

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 23:23:41 GMT

Soulful gifts for the ones you love most

As the holidays approach, many of us begin searching for meaningful gifts — the kind that feel personal, nurturing, memorable, and supportive of real healing. Whether you're shopping for loved ones or choosing something special for yourself, intentional gifting is one of the most beautiful ways to offer love, light, and renewal.

This guide brings together some of my most-requested, most-loved healing gifts: items that support energy clearing, emotional well-being, spiritual connection, and everyday rituals. These are the tools my clients return to again and again — because they help us feel grounded, uplifted, and more connected to our true self.

If you’re looking for the best spiritual gifts, high-vibrational gifts, or unique healing gifts for women, you’ll love these recommendations.

1. Flying Wish Paper: A Beautiful Ritual for Intention-Setting

Flying Wish Paper is one of my favorite gifts for anyone who loves ritual, manifestation, or a little magic woven into their day.
To use it, you simply write your wish, light the edge, and watch it lift — symbolizing release, trust, and the energy of sending your intention into the universe.

Why people love it:

Creates a moment of mindfulness
Supports intention-setting practices
Fun and meaningful for families, friends, or personal rituals

Gift options:

Holiday greeting card with 3 wishes: $5
Pack of 50 wishes: $20

This is a perfect stocking stuffer, hostess gift, or a simple way to bring ritual into the new year.

2. Personal Cleansing Spray: A Fresh Start in a Bottle

Energy cleansing gifts are incredibly popular because they make such an instant difference.
This Personal Cleansing Spray is a small-batch blend I created for clearing heavy or stagnant energy from your body, home, office, or personal space. It’s become a client favorite because it creates a quick, high-vibe reset anytime you need it.

What’s inside:
Spanish Sage, Ylang Ylang, Frankincense, Lavender, Black Pepper, Guaiacwood, and Clove — blended with intention and vibrational purpose.

Why it’s loved:

Clears emotional residue and old energy
Invites grounding, light, and harmony
Perfect for home, car, or work

4 oz spray bottle: $8
I make this in small batches, please email to reserve — these sell out quickly.

3. Conscious Code Clothing: Wearable Frequency + Intentional Design

The Conscious Code Clothing is a unique line I created for people who want aligned, high-frequency clothing that supports energetic awareness. These pieces are more than apparel — they’re wearable reminders of who you truly are.

Each design is infused with intention and crafted with a specific frequency in mind. Every item includes a QR code that reveals the meaning behind the piece and how to work with its energy more intentionally.

Perfect for those who love:

Spiritual gifts
High-frequency fashion
Conscious lifestyle items
Clothing with deeper meaning

Explore the collection here: The Conscious Code Clothing

4. Essential Oils for Healing, Emotional Support, and Daily Ritual

For years, I’ve shared essential oils with clients not as a sales pitch, but because they genuinely transform energy and emotional well-being. I offer them at wholesale plus Denver sales tax — exactly what I pay — because I want you to have access to the tools that have supported me and my family so deeply.

Below are my Top 6 Essential Oils for Intentional Gifting — perfect for anyone needing emotional support, spiritual clarity, or energetic healing this season.

1. Lavender — Peace in a Bottle

Lavender calms the nervous system, supports deep rest, and helps the body release anxiety or tension.
Gift it to: Someone overwhelmed, exhausted, or in need of softness.

2. Breathe (Respiratory Blend) — Let It All Go

A powerful winter companion that opens the lungs physically and emotionally.
Gift it to: Anyone holding emotional heaviness or respiratory strain.

3. Wild Orange — Sunshine for the Soul

Instant joy. Uplifts mood, boosts creativity, and reminds the heart how to feel light again.
Gift it to: Someone who needs playfulness, hope, and fresh energy.

4. Frankincense — Sacred Clarity

The “oil of truth,” offering grounding, spiritual connection, and cellular support.
Gift it to: Someone going through transition, awakening, or deep healing.

5. Balance (Grounding Blend) — Calm in the Chaos

Tree oils that stabilize emotions and help the body feel safe and rooted.
Gift it to: Someone anxious, scattered, or emotionally drained.

6. Rose Touch — The Frequency of Love

The highest vibrational oil on Earth. Softens grief and opens the heart.
Gift it to: Anyone needing deep emotional support, self-love, or healing.

I place my essential oil orders December 1st — reach out if you’d like to be included.

5. Gift of Health: Retreats & Courses for Deep Renewal

For those wanting a transformational experience, these retreats and courses offer profound physical, emotional, and spiritual reset.

Sacred Reset: 3-Day Water Fasting Retreat for Women

A guided water fasting retreat in Parker, Colorado — designed to support deep cellular healing, mental clarity, and emotional release.
Learn more: Sacred Reset Water Fasting Retreat

7-Day Sacred Energy Reset (Online Course)

A self-paced online experience to realign your energy, release emotional heaviness, and reconnect with your purpose.
Register here: Sacred Reset

Sol Rejuvenation: Transformational Women’s Retreat

A retreat designed to help you recharge, realign, and reawaken your authentic, vibrant self.

March 5-8. 2026 in Monument, Colorado
Register here: Sol Rejuvenation

Choosing Meaningful, Healing Gifts This Holiday Season

The best gifts are the ones that help us feel more like ourselves — grounded, supported, inspired, connected, and whole. Whether you’re choosing something small and symbolic or a life-changing healing experience, these intentional gifts offer true nourishment.

If you have questions or want help choosing the perfect gift, I’m here for you.

Wishing you a holiday season filled with love, clarity, and light.
Much Love,

Dena

How to break the cycle

Sat, 25 Oct 2025 13:54:30 GMT

Healing Old Patterns and Finding Inner Peace

Have you been feeling like you’ve just exhaled after holding your breath for far too long? The energy lately has felt raw, tender, and deeply transformative. It’s calling us to stop running from the lessons and start listening to them.

If you’ve caught yourself thinking, “Why is this happening again?” or “I thought I was done with this,” this message is for you.

At first, I thought it was just me — but I’ve noticed this theme appearing for so many of my friends and clients too:

Old patterns resurfacing...

familiar emotions returning...

memories we thought we’d healed coming back from a different Angel.

It’s easy to feel frustrated when this happens, but when I checked in with my spirit guides, their message was clear: We are not backtracking. We are evolving.

As a collective, we’re being given a powerful opportunity to clear old energy and break repeating cycles — not just for ourselves, but for our entire lineage. This is our season to rise, heal, and “level up.”

This Isn’t About the World — It’s About You

This energy isn’t about what’s happening out there. It’s about you — your emotions, your body, and your relationship with safety.

When I slowed down enough to reflect, I realized something simple but profound: beneath the irritation and confusion, I didn’t feel safe. My first instinct was to look for something external to fix it (oh, to be human). But the truth is, I am the mirror.

When I asked myself, “What am I reflecting that’s attracting this experience?” something shifted.

Our physical and energetic bodies are aligning with higher frequencies right now, and that alignment stirs up what we’ve suppressed or ignored. These rising emotions aren’t here to punish us — they’re here to give us another chance to heal.

If old emotions, relationships, or situations seem to be returning, don’t panic. You have stronger tools, deeper awareness, and a steadier foundation now. This is your chance to respond differently — to choose peace over panic.

We are not repeating the past. We’re being shown how much we’ve grown.

When the Past Feels Present

Emotional pain isn’t always defined by what happened — but by how safe or unsafe we felt while it happened. When that safety wasn’t available, our nervous system couldn’t complete the cycle, so the energy stayed stuck.

When life mirrors a similar situation, our body reacts as if it’s happening again. But the truth is: we’re not being chased anymore.

You are safe now. You can use this moment to close the loop and end the emotional cycle for good.

A Sacred Practice to break the cycle in 3 steps:

1. Feeling Through It

When emotion rises, give yourself permission to feel it — without analysis or judgment.

Find a quiet space where you feel safe.
Close your eyes and notice where in your body the emotion sits.
Place your hand there and say softly, “I love you.”
Breathe into that space. Exhale slowly. Let the energy move.

Sometimes the deepest healing happens in silence.

2. EFT Tapping for Breaking Emotional Cycles

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a simple but powerful tool to help your body release stuck energy and return to calm. Here’s a short tapping sequence you can use anytime.

Name the emotion. Identify what you’re really feeling — fear, grief, shame, betrayal, confusion, or abandonment.

Start tapping on the side of your hand and repeat:

“Even though I feel this [emotion], and it feels so old and heavy, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”
Repeat three times.

Move through the tapping points:

Eyebrow: This [emotion] feels so familiar.
Side of Eye: Maybe I’ve been carrying this for generations.
Under Eye: My body remembers, but I’m ready to let it go.
Under Nose: I honor this feeling for protecting me all this time.
Chin: I don’t need to carry it anymore.
Collarbone: I’m safe to release this now.
Under Arm: The cycle ends with me.
Top of Head: I choose freedom, safety, and peace.

Take a deep breath in through your nose, exhale through your mouth, and notice how your body feels.

If tears come, let them fall. If energy rises, shake it out. If you feel nothing — that’s okay too. Your body is still receiving the message that it’s finally safe.

3. Completing the Release: Energy Alchemy in Motion

Movement seals the healing.

Stand up and shake your arms, legs, and shoulders. Visualize light rippling through every cell. You might even put on your favorite song and have a little dance party.

Let your body show you what freedom feels like.
This is energy alchemy — transforming what once felt heavy into light.

Now Is the Time to Break the Cycle

This month’s invitation is simple but profound:
Clear it. Don’t repeat it.

You are no longer the victim of your story — you are the creator. Your awareness is the medicine.

When you honor what you feel, you close the loop.
When you close the loop, you free your lineage.

You’re not just healing yourself.
You’re healing the line.
You’re setting the future free.

And yes — even if your “aha” moment looks messy, tearful, or slightly dramatic (I might have slightly traumatized my family members during my mine, it may or may not have involved a bit of fetal position time), it’s all part of the process. Healing rarely looks graceful, but it’s always sacred.

The Power of Perspective: How Shifting Your Lens Changes Your Energy and Relationships

Mon, 29 Sep 2025 14:45:27 GMT

I can't make this Sh*t up!

When Relationships Feel Heavy: A Client Story

The Universe has such a funny way of winking at us.

One of my regular clients, someone I’ve been working with for over seven years, came into session recently with a heavy heart. She shared her frustration with her in-laws. Once upon a time she adored them, but things had shifted. They were showing up unannounced, staying too long, and disrupting the natural flow of her home.

When I asked how her husband felt about it, she sighed and said, “He loves them. He knows they can be a pain in the butt sometimes, but he doesn’t want to appear ungrateful and cause family problems.”

Why boundaries aren’t always the only answer

With this understanding, we discussed the better boundaries option, but I shared that would most likely cause “family problems.” I shared that when I experience situations that are messing with my energy or better yet appear to be a “me” problem, then I do my best to...

change my perspective.

Of course you have to have discernment, but if the in-laws weren’t going to change and her husband didn’t see an issue, then the only space she truly had power in was her own perspective.

I suggested that if she could soften her lens, just a little, she might shift the energy around them. Maybe she could even learn to look forward to their presence instead of feeling drained by it.

And then the Universe laughed with me: the very next week, on the first of September, I pulled my card for the month. The card that revealed itself? Perspective . You can’t make this stuff up.

The Power of Shifting Perspective

This synchronicity reminded me of a truth I do my best live by; when we shift our perspective, we shift our vibration. And when we shift our vibration, we change everything.

Energy Ripples: How Your Vibration Affects Others

Energy is not contained. It ripples.

If I walk into a room angry, resentful, or insecure, the people around me will feel it. They will either match my frequency or feel like they’re being judged, pulled, or drained. But if I walk into that same room with genuine love, excitement, and admiration, my energy invites others to meet me there.

This is my favorite place to meet people.

We are always holding up mirrors to one another. If I believe someone dislikes me, that belief colors my interactions. But when I choose to see them differently, when I approach with openness, love, or even curiosity, I change the mirror. Their energy shifts in response to mine.

Love, curiosity, and openness as energetic tools

This has been true in my marriage as well. In the past, when I would unconsciously expect my husband to carry the weight of my happiness, he would feel my energy as needy and demanding. This type of energy makes people feel like they are never enough. But when I pause, tend to my own insecurities, and remember all that I love about him, the energy between us softens. He doesn’t just feel lighter, I feel lighter too. That’s when love flourishes.

Perspective in Marriage and Love

This is the magic of perspective. It doesn’t mean pretending frustrations don’t exist. It means claiming our role as creators of the energy we bring. It means choosing the lens that brings more love, more connection, more freedom.

Your October Invitation: Notice Where You’re Stuck

So as October unfolds, I invite you to notice where your perspective has gotten stuck. Where could a subtle shift open space for more love? Where could a softer lens bring ease?

We never know how powerful one small shift can be until we try it. Perspective changes energy, energy changes relationships, and relationships change the way we experience life.

I wonder what card I will pull for October.

With perspective, with presence, with love,
Dena

The Message Came with 6 Legs: A Lesson on Authenticity and Integrity

Sun, 24 Aug 2025 04:15:20 GMT

A Lesson on Authenticity and Integrity

Facing Authenticity in My 50s

Stick with me!

I am in my 50s and I am still facing this issue...

It’s wild how true authenticity is c oming up for me again. It’s not like I’m hiding. For the most part, I speak my truth, even if it makes people uncomfortable. People have judged me and told me that I was doing “demonic work.” This still blows my mind, but I’m okay with that.

However, recently I’ve been leaning into more silence, stepping back from speaking my truth in certain situations. It’s not that I’m hiding or pretending, it just doesn’t feel worth the energy to speak up sometimes.

But then I wonder, is this me being authentic? Is staying quiet in certain circles really the truest version of myself?

The Way of Integrity and The Work of Byron Katie

I’ve been reading Martha Beck’s The Way of Integrity, and she references my girl Byron Katie a few times throughout the book. She describes how she uses The Work when an “old story comes up,” walking it through the four questions and then doing a “turnaround” to shift into new perspectives.

That intentional pause, that probing inquiry… it’s one of the tools I’ve built my practice around. Helping people refuse the “bullshit stories” they tell themselves and take responsibility for their own happiness. It all stems from that same kind of radical self-honesty.

Here’s how she lays it out:

Is it true?
Can you absolutely know it's true?
How do you react—what happens—when you believe that thought?
Who would you be without that thought?

And then the magic: the turnaround—flipping the thought around (e.g., “I should listen to myself” instead of “My husband should listen to me”) to discover an alternate truth that often feels more liberating.

One-Degree Turns: Small Shifts, Big Changes

This is integrity work in action, not just a concept. It resonates deeply because calling people on their “bullshit stories” is exactly how I show up. This is the foundation of my own work. Byron Katie’s process is the very impetus for my calling people out on the false stories they tell themselves and holding them responsible for their own happiness—because Byron Katie did this for me 25 years ago.

Martha also emphasizes the power of tiny shifts. What she calls “one-degree turns .” She likens it to flying a long distance and turning the plane just one degree every half hour and over time, it brings you somewhere entirely different. This is the path of sustainable change, not the heroic leap.

In her words:

“We call them one-degree turns: just a little bit every day, turning action in the direction of the truest truth that we can find inside ourselves.”

That’s the work I invite you into—small, real, doable shifts.

The Power of Authentic Connection

Recently, I spent time with a newer friend, Susan. We have only connected a few times, but it felt as if we have known each other for lifetimes. We did a ritual together for the Lionsgate and New Moon, and it was soul nourishing. I felt so safe and comfortable with her, able to be one hundred percent authentically me.

The most beautiful part was when she shared that she does not have a circle of friends where she can be fully herself, especially with the spiritual side of her life. She was so grateful for the space we created, where she could open up without fear of judgment.

She told me about a decision she made last October that completely resonated. Instead of waiting for the new year, she committed to doing something every day to better herself, whether physically, emotionally, or mentally. She also promised herself she would stop telling even the smallest white lies and live in complete authenticity.

It was her own version of what Martha Beck did in The Way of Integrity. And just like Martha’s one-degree turns, Susan focused on small, consistent changes that, over the course of a year, have transformed her life.

Integrity Challenges and Radical Self-Honesty

Her journey made me look in the mirror and wonder: Am I avoiding my truth in small ways? Is it time for my own integrity challenge?

What Susan reminded me, and what both Martha Beck and Byron Katie’s work illustrate, is that authenticity is not about being perfect or loud all the time. Sometimes it is about the quiet moments of self-honesty. Sometimes it is about telling the truth when it is hard. And sometimes it is about having the courage to stop telling ourselves the comfortable lies that keep us from growing. It’s a frequency that we can all feel.

The Message:

I had started this newsletter and laughed about the synchronicities of my friend and Martha’s book. Knowing there is a lesson for me, but to be honest, not taking it serious enough. Until…

We moved the dresser.

We are painting our bedroom and we pulled the dresser forward and discovered a dead leaf bug. THIS IS THE 3RD YEAR IN A ROW that one has shown up. I kid you not. I have had a dead leaf bug show up on my front porch the past two years, but because I obviously am not getting the lesson, it showed up on our air-conditioned bedroom.

The message? Stop hiding and trying to blend in. Especially if it affects my energy, health, and self-trust. I need to clear out my old survival pattern of making the rest of the world comfortable before I take action. I just need to jump.

My 3rd chakra is doing flip flops as I type this, but one degree at a time right?!

Living Authentically, One Degree at a Time

Authenticity is an agreement with me. It’s a gift. It has nothing to do with anyone else. Those are only bullshit stories.

Love you!

Dena

Let Simplicity Lead: How to Shift Your Energy by Doing Less

Sun, 27 Jul 2025 12:39:11 GMT

The New Power Move: Simplicity

A message that needed to be shared

I pull an oracle card for every month. It is something I do to feel aligned with the energy that is meant to support me. For July, the card was Simplicity .

At first, I smiled. I had been feeling the pull to slow down but kept adding more to my plate. Then one day in mid-July, I was in session with a client and the word simplicity came through strongly for her. When I shared it, she said that was the exact card she had pulled that same morning. So obviously that was validation that I needed to share this on my blog. ��

If You’re Carrying the Weight of the World, Read This!

If you are someone who feels called to fix things, save people, carry the weight of the world and maybe even the universe, I want to speak to you. It is easy to believe that our value is measured in how much we can hold, how many things we can do, how many people we can help. It is not.

This past month, I leaned into simplicity and wow, it was profound for me. I accepted help when it was offered. I cleansed the things in my environment and in my mind that were weighing me down. I said yes to fun and things I would normally turn down.

I even said yes to running a 5K over the 4th of July weekend. I had turned it down the past couple of years. I am so proud of myself for doing it, even if it was a walk and run combination. It was fun to do with my family, and I felt alive in a new way.

I allowed life to be easier, and it actually worked. There is so much more power in stillness. I know this. But my body still freaks out about it sometimes. So I stayed proactive. I kept reminding myself that it was safe to chill out. Safe to soften. Safe to pause.

And the more I allowed myself to pause, the more life flowed.

An Invitation: Choose Simplicity This Month

So this month, I want to invite you into that same energy. Let simplicity guide you. Let it speak to your nervous system. Let it change the way you move through your day.

Here is how we begin.

Simplicity in Your Surroundings

Clear Space, Clear Mind

My home office has been a catch all space for far too long. It holds the overflow of everything that does not have a place. So it is beyond overwhelming. I started giving it fifteen minutes of my attention most days. Just a little time, but with full presence. And little by little, I have started to exhale. I can almost feel the space returning.

Everything in your space is talking to you. The stack of books is saying read me. The papers are saying decide something. The things sitting in the corner are either asking to be used or released. You do not need to overhaul your whole home, but pick one spot and ask yourself what actually belongs.

The way your space feels will shift how you feel.

Simplicity in Your Mind

Tame the Inner Critic with Humor and Awareness

This is something I share often with my clients. Name the loud or negative part of your mind. Give it a nickname. Make it playful. When that voice starts running wild with fear, shame, or control, you can respond to it as just a part of you, not the whole truth.

Years ago, I read Whole Brain Living by Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor. In that book, she beautifully explains how our brain holds four distinct characters. Each one comes from a different region of the brain and carries its own personality. One of those parts is the inner critic or control freak we often hear in our head. When we name that voice, we stop giving it full authority. We take back our power to choose which part of us leads.

I call that bossy, control freak, Dolores. And sometimes, I literally say out loud, Shut up, Dolores. (No offense to the Dolores’s of the world.) It makes me laugh, and it reminds me I am not that voice. I am the one observing it. I am the one who decides what is true .

You are not your thoughts. You are the one who chooses which thoughts get power.

Try it. When your inner critic flares up, acknowledge it, name it, and then lovingly tell it to take a seat. You are allowed to rewrite the script and simplify your thoughts. Don’t allow the negative ones to validate you! They are just stories, that you never need to feed.

Simplicity in Your Emotions

Let Emotions Move Through You in 90 Seconds

Something I learned years ago that has stayed with me is when an emotion arises, it only takes about ninety seconds to move through the body. That insight also came from Jill Bolte Taylor, and it still holds true today. After those ninety seconds, anything we continue to feel is usually the result of replaying the story or resisting the sensation.

Let that land.

We do not have to relive it. We do not have to fight it. We just have to feel and honor it without judgement.

Recently someone I love said something that truly hurt. It was wasn’t out of spite, she was speaking her truth about my actions and I NEEDED to honor it. The old version of me would have put up a wall or gone into defense mode. But I stayed present. I let myself feel it. I took deep breaths as the emotion spiraled through me. And then, it passed. No anger. No protection needed. Just presence.

It really does work. The more we allow emotions to move, the less they control us. The less we fear them.

Emotions are stored in the body, not in the mind. Your body is wise. Trust it to process what needs to be felt. Then let it go.

Your Simplicity Practice Starts Here

If this resonates with you, let’s clear one “corner” of your space. Pause for three deep breaths before you start your day. Let the loudest voice in your mind soften. Feel your feelings without attaching a story.

Let simplicity be the new trend. Let ease be the new way forward. Let stillness be the place where everything good begins.

Do this 2-minute mediation to align your morning with Simplicity!

If you're looking for a simple way to clear your energy and enjoy greater clarity and peace, take my online 7-Day Sacred Energy Reboot - it's a value-packed week-long course that will help ground, cleanse, and protect your energy on your schedule (and your budget!)

I had so much fun putting this together for you!

The one question that changed how I protect my energy

Fri, 11 Jul 2025 14:50:13 GMT

What if that heavy feeling wasn’t even yours?

Let’s talk about something that most of us never learned growing up but absolutely should have.

We’re out here living life. The sun is shining. It’s summer. Maybe we’re spending time with family, maybe we’re traveling, or maybe we’re just doing our usual grocery run or stopping by TJ Maxx “real quick” and out of nowhere...

something shifts in our energy.

We were feeling fine and peaceful. Then suddenly, we're irritated, foggy, and anxious.
It’s like someone turned the dial on our nervous system without our permission.

So naturally, our mind starts spinning:

“Did I forget something?”
“Why am I suddenly so edgy?”
“Is something wrong with me?”
But what if nothing is wrong with us at all?
What if we’re just… absorbing?

Travel has always been when I’m most energetically vulnerable. If I’m not paying attention, I’ll end up picking up some funky energy. Flying makes me especially open, but even short drives in my car can leave me feeling off if I’m not conscious of it.

Remember my favorite saying, “Everything is energy?”

We are energy beings before we are anything else. Our physical body has boundaries, but our energy field/our aura, is wide open unless we consciously tend to it.

That means every room we walk into, every person we hug or stand next to in line, every conversation we overhear, we are receiving and exchanging frequencies.

And for my sensitive souls, my empaths, my spiritually attuned men and women — we feel all of it.

We might not even realize how deeply we’re picking up on other people’s stuff. We feel their sadness, stress, control patterns, grief, insecurities, or expectations.

We were never taught to recognize that just because we feel something doesn’t mean it belongs to us.

I finally learned to ask this one sacred question.

The question that changed my energy hygiene, my mental peace, my relationships, and my capacity to stay grounded no matter what chaos is happening around me:

“Is this even mine?”

When I wake up already in a mood.
When I start feeling tense while scrolling social media.
When I walk into a room and feel like my shoulders instantly tense up.
When I’m halfway through a conversation and I feel myself getting reactive, sad, or confused for no clear reason.

This question has been my spiritual reset button.
And when we pause long enough to ask it and truly listen for the answer… our body always knows.

How to use it in your life:

Let’s walk through it together. It’s simple, but don’t let that fool you; the most powerful healing tools are.

Pause.
Close your eyes or drop your gaze. Breathe into your belly. Feel your body. Anchor in.

Ask.
Say to yourself or out loud, “Is this even mine?”
Let your intuition answer, not your logical mind ( try the Human Pendulum technique! )

Listen.
You might feel a yes, a no, a sudden sense of relief, or even an emotional release. Let it come.

Release.
If it’s not yours, you do not need to carry it.
Say, “I lovingly return this energy to the Divine Source to be recycled for the highest good of all. I reclaim all of me now.” Visualize your field being cleared. See light sweeping through your body and expanding all around you like a protective cocoon. You can even do a gentle shake-out of your hands and arms, or tap on your collarbones and heart to reinforce the release.

If what you’re feeling is yours, that’s okay too. You’ve just practiced radical energetic responsibility! You’ve named it. And now you can choose what to do with it.

This is energetic discernment. And it’s a superpower.

When we learn to feel without absorbing, witness without attaching, and Love without leaking, we become magnetic, unshakable and clear.

We show up in rooms without losing ourselves.
We stop replaying conversations that weren’t even that deep.
We stop shrinking around people whose energy overwhelms us.
We become the one who sets the energetic tone. We are not the one who gets pulled into it.

This is exactly what I teach in my online class, 7-Day Sacred Energy Reset .

This course is your complete energetic reboot.

It’s gentle and deep. Spiritual and grounded. It will teach you how to:

Cleanse the emotional residue and energetic buildup you’ve absorbed over the years
Ground into your body and become the anchor, not the sponge
Protect your field in a way that isn’t rigid, but empowered
Maintain your energy hygiene so that you can stay clear, even in messy or emotional spaces

It’s not just a class. It’s a ritualized journey back to your energetic sovereignty.

And it’s self-paced, so you can do it wherever you are, whenever you need it.

I wanted to make this affordable and accessible, so it's only $37!

Enroll in Sacred Energy Reset now !

You don’t need to wait for the perfect time.
If you’ve been feeling off, tired, emotionally foggy, or like you’ve been running on fumes. This is your sign to come home to yourself.

I’m also happy to help you clear some of the ick in a session. You know if this is your moment.

Book your session here.

Whatever you choose, I want you to remember this:

Your energy is sacred.
Your intuition is valid.
Your peace is worth protecting.
And your body knows the truth…always.

You are not too sensitive. You are beautifully tuned in.

And now, you get to choose what you hold and what you hand back with love.

You are the Goddamn Light and I adore you.

Much Love,

Dena

Intuition vs Anxiety: How to Tell the Difference & Trust Yourself

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Thu, 29 May 2025 12:13:07 GMT

The Truth About Intuition (It's Not Always a Lightning Bolt)

When I first started doing energy work, I often felt like I was just making things up.

Why? Because intuitive messages didn’t arrive as booming voices or cinematic downloads.
They came quietly—through me. My own voice. My own imagination.

At first, I doubted everything. I’d see images in my mind’s eye and think, this is just pretend… right?
But again and again, those images resonated deeply with the people I worked with.

One time, a woman’s mother (who had passed) showed me an image of giving her daughter a rock.

That’s all. A rock. I almost didn’t say it out loud—but I did. And the client lit up.

“YES,” she said. “I’m getting married this week, and the diamond in my ring was my mother’s.”

That moment changed everything. I stopped doubting and started trusting. Intuition often sounds like your own voice.

It's subtle. It's soft. But it's real.

What’s the Difference Between Intuition and Anxiety?

Let’s keep it simple :

Physical & Emotional Cues

Intuition is grounded and steady, while anxiety is chaotic and shaky.

Intuition arises from a neutral place, while anxiety is emotionally charged.

Intuition guides you gently, while anxiety pushes you from fear.

Intuition doesn’t rush you, while anxiety creates pressure and urgency.

Intuition often brings peace, while anxiety usually comes with dread.

Your nervous system is a great compass.
If you feel open and soft, that’s intuition.
If you feel tight, reactive, or rushed, that’s anxiety.

A Simple Technique to “ Trust Your Gut ”

Here’s a favorite tool I teach beginners:

The Human Pendulum (aka the “Trust Your Gut” Technique)

Try this when you need clarity:

Stand up straight, feet hip-width apart, knees soft.
Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths.
Say something true: “My name is [your name].”
Your body may gently lean forward. That’s a yes.
Say something false: “My name is [wrong name].”
Feel a gentle lean backward. That’s a no.
Now ask your real question:
“Is this supplement right for me?”
“Is going to this event aligned?”

If you don’t feel any sway, ground yourself and try again—or reword the question.

This technique helps you get out of your head and back into your body’s natural wisdom.

How to Tap into True Intuition

Before making a big (or small) decision, try this checklist:

✅ Breathe

Deepen your breath and allow your body to settle.

✅ Ground

Touch the earth, sip water, or place your hand on your heart.

✅ Ask: “Is this truth or trauma?”

Intuition feels like clarity. Trauma feels reactive or intense.

✅ Time-Test It

Intuition stays consistent. Anxiety shifts every five minutes.

✅ Scan Your Body

Intuition speaks through the gut, heart, or crown.
Anxiety lives in the chest or head.

Your Intuition Might Sound Just Like You

Here’s the real kicker: intuitive guidance often doesn’t feel “spiritual” at all.
It might sound like your own thoughts. A passing idea. A visual in your mind’s eye. A quiet nudge.

The more you play with it, the clearer it gets. Don’t wait for thunder. Listen for the whisper.

Intuition isn’t a superpower—it’s a skill.
The more you trust it, the stronger it becomes.

Final Thoughts: Trust the Whisper

Your inner voice is always guiding you. It may come as a whisper, an image, a body sway, or a passing thought.

Whatever the form, it’s real. And it’s yours.

So stay curious. Play. Practice. And most importantly—trust yourself.

You've had the guidance all along.

How Are You Contributing to the Energy Around You?

Sun, 27 Apr 2025 09:05:52 GMT

A new take on Gratitude...

We often hear about using gratitude as a healing tool. Gratitude journals. Reflections on what we’re thankful for, etc.

These practices are powerful—and they work.

But what if we expanded gratitude?

What if instead of just focusing on what we receive, we also looked at what we give?

How are you contributing to the energy of the world around you?

Your Energy Matters More Than You Think

Each morning, before diving into your to-do list or gratitude practice, pause and ask yourself:
How do I want to show up today?
What kind of energy do I want to contribute?

Because whether you realize it or not, your words, thoughts, and actions ripple out into the collective.

This isn’t about being perfect .

It’s not about being the most positive or the most productive.

It’s about being conscious of the frequency you're offering to the world, moment by moment.

Everyday Ways to Be a Helper

This is how I think of it— a kindness ripple .

Sometimes it’s as simple (and profound) as smiling at a stranger.
Other times, it's about being mindful of your energetic hygiene so that you're not unintentionally leaking stress or toxicity into the spaces you enter.

And sometimes it's more direct: offering food, prayer, service, or simply love.

If you’re looking for simple ways to be a helper, try a few of these and see which ones resonate with your heart:

1. Smile at people

That’s enough. Smiles are energy. They uplift. They heal.

2. Pray for someone

Speak their name with love in your heart. Send Light their way.

3. Send a simple text

A quick “I love you and I’m thinking of you” can transform someone's day.

4. Practice energetic hygiene

When you clean your own energy field, you stop unintentionally projecting stress or fear onto others.

5. Make an anonymous donation

Whether it’s $5 or $50, giving without recognition keeps the heart open.

6. Listen without fixing

Sometimes your presence is the greatest gift you can offer.

7. Avoid gossip and fear spirals

Don’t give your energy to what drains the collective. Contribute to healing, not division.

8. Light a candle with intention

Hold space for others. Trust that your frequency does real work.

9. Speak life

Compliment. Appreciate. Uplift the people around you.

10. Start with yourself

Heal what hurts inside you. The more healed you are, the more helpful you become to others.

The Legacy of Your Energy

Every single day you show up—whether quietly or boldly—you’re leaving a legacy.
Your kindness, your compassion, your ability to hold space for others, and your courage to keep going even when it's hard...

These are not small things. They are everything.

Ask yourself:
What kind of energy do I want to leave behind today?
Not just in my home or workplace—but in every conversation, every interaction, every thought.

You don’t have to do it perfectly.
You just have to do it consciously.

Humaning Isn't Easy (and That's OK)

If you don't have the energy to “do” anything today? That's OK, too.

Sometimes the bravest act of kindness is choosing not to pass on our pain.
Choosing not to project our anger.
Choosing not to feed the collective fear.

Being human is a wild trip. It's layered. It's rarely logical. And yes, sometimes it sucks.

But here’s what I truly believe, from years of working as an energy healer in Denver:
We only attract what is ready to be cleared.
That doesn’t mean we deserve the pain—it means we’re strong enough to heal it.

There are no mistakes. Only opportunities to remember who we are.

You Are the Light the World Needs

Today, breathe.
Be.
Smile.

And remember:

You are the damn Light.

The world needs more helpers who remember exactly who the hell they are.

If you’re ready to dive deeper into energy healing, emotional clearing, and spiritual growth, reach out to schedule a session with me at Light of Mine, LLC in Denver.

Your Light matters. Let’s strengthen it together. ��

The Consciousness of Water: How Intention Shapes Reality

Fri, 28 Mar 2025 14:08:48 GMT

Water Is Listening!

Water has consciousness! Science and spirituality both suggest that water is more than just a physical substance—it is a carrier of energy, intention, and information. From Dr. Masaru Emoto’s groundbreaking research to Veda Austin’s modern discoveries, we are beginning to understand that water is conscious, responsive, and deeply connected to our emotions and thoughts.

I vividly recall watching the movie What the Bleep Do We Know!? and being introduced to Dr. Masaru Emoto's research on the consciousness of water.

For years, I even shared a five-minute clip from that film in my classes to illustrate the impact of negative self-talk. More recently, Veda Austin's work has further ignited my awareness of water's power. Expanding upon Dr. Emoto's findings, her research is truly fascinating. My friend Leah and I took a class with her in February 2023. We learned her method for freezing the water and a little bit about how to interpret the messages .

Unfortunately, I haven't experimented with her crystallography techniques as much as I'd like. I do speak to my water daily, setting intentions , imprinting positive energy, and expressing love and gratitude. But my renewed inspiration came from attending a Gaia Emersion event where she was a presenter. It made me realize that these small, daily practices might be interesting to you as well.

Dr. Masaru Emoto’s work opened my eyes to the profound intelligence of water. When he wrote the word Love on a container of water and froze it, the result was a stunning, symmetrical crystal—like the water bloomed in response. But when he wrote I hate you, the frozen crystal turned dark, fragmented, and disordered. His experiments showed me that water responds to intention, energy, and frequency … just like we do.

I carried this understanding with me for years. It taught me to be mindful of the energy in the room while drinking water. When I came across Veda Austin’s work, even more dots connected. I discovered that water doesn’t just respond—it remembers. It’s conscious of our energy .

Veda’s research is living proof. For nearly a decade, she’s been studying water crystals, capturing their responses in stunning frozen art, and interpreting what she calls hydroglyphs—messages from water itself.

According to Veda, “hydroglyphs are symbols in ice that have one or more meanings. For example, the symbol for money and abundance is a coin image, and the symbol for love is a heart image. To say I have discovered one hydroglyph, I need to have seen the same image appear after using the same influence, at least fifty times. This tells me that it is not coincidental, and there is enough evidence to say it has specific meaning. Essentially, I am learning to read messages in water that are revealed in frozen symbology. This liquid crystal language is not as simple as ABC. Hydroglyphs are very conceptually complex. When various glyphs are seen together, there is a story to be told, and a scene that is set.”

If you're interested, consider buying her book, “ Hydroglyphs .”

However, water doesn't always speak in hydroglyphs. My friend Leah, that I took the class with, had her daughter ask a question. She asked, “What does heaven look like?” and this is what the water shared:

Our bodies are mostly water, so how we speak to ourselves and each other matters. Every thought, every word, every emotion. We’re imprinting it into the very waters within us. This matters to our healing and spiritual practice, because it reminds us that we’re not separate from nature. We are natur e. We are not separate from each other . Let’s remember that when we don’t understand “those people.”

Water flows through us, remembers us, responds to us. When we choose Love, Grace, and Truth in our inner dialogue, we’re not just being kind, we’re literally tuning the frequency of our body and spirit. Healing becomes a conversation. And water, as both mirror and messenger, is always listening. It’s a frequency. With the heaviness of the world, let’s do our best to keep our frequency high and “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”

My personal Water Ritual:

Honoring water is a daily practice for me. Every night, I fill a glass and place it on a special coaster I created. I charge it with intention as it rests overnight. Each morning, drinking that water is one of my sacred habits. I speak love into it, often affirming how I want to feel and who I’m choosing to be. I bless the water in my shower, asking it to wash away frequencies that no longer serve me. In the cold plunge, I go into heart coherence and connect to the water, whispering “love, love, love and thank you, thank you, thank you” like a mantra. Even at the office, my hot tea becomes a moment of affirmation and presence. Water isn’t just something I drink, it’s a living ally I’m in a relationship with.

Dr. Masaru Emoto’s Groundbreaking Research

Dr. Masaru Emoto revolutionized our understanding of water with his experiments on how words, emotions, and energy affect water’s crystalline structure. In his studies, he exposed water to positive and negative words before freezing it. The results were astonishing:

Words like “Love” and “Gratitude” created beautifully symmetrical, intricate ice crystals.

Negative phrases like “I hate you” resulted in fragmented, chaotic formations.

His research suggests that water responds to intention and frequency—just like we do. If our bodies are mostly water, the way we speak to ourselves and others holds incredible power.

Veda Austin’s Discoveries: Water Has Memory

Taking Dr. Emoto’s findings further, researcher Veda Austin has spent nearly a decade studying water’s ability to retain and communicate information. Her work centers around hydroglyphs—symbols that repeatedly appear in ice when water is exposed to specific influences.

What Are Hydroglyphs?

According to Veda Austin, hydroglyphs are ice-formed symbols that convey meaning. For example:

A coin-like shape represents money and abundance.
A heart shape symbolizes love.

To confirm a hydroglyph’s meaning, she ensures the same symbol appears at least fifty times under the same influence, proving it is no coincidence. Her research shows that water doesn’t just respond—it remembers.

Water as a Healing Ally

If water holds memory and reacts to energy, then every thought, word, and intention imprints upon it. This understanding has deep implications for both personal healing and collective consciousness.

The Power of Daily Water Rituals

Integrating mindful water practices into your day can elevate your energy, improve your mindset, and deepen your spiritual connection.

1. Speak Love into Your Water

Before drinking, set an intention. Try affirmations like:

“This water nourishes my body and soul.”
“I am grateful for the healing energy of water.”

2. Charge Your Water Overnight

Place a glass of water on a dedicated coaster, speak a blessing over it, and drink it with gratitude in the morning.

3. Bless Your Shower or Bath

Water can cleanse more than just the physical body—imagine it washing away energy that no longer serves you.

4. Tea and Hydration as Mindfulness Practices

Each sip of tea or water is an opportunity for presence. Infuse it with thoughts of gratitude, peace, or healing.

Water and Collective Healing

Water is not just a personal ally—it connects us all. If water flows through every living being, then how we treat it and each other matters. The words we speak, the emotions we hold, and the energy we project ripple outward, influencing both ourselves and the world.

Conclusion: Be the Frequency You Want to See

Honoring water is more than a practice—it’s a way of life. Whether through hydroglyphs or daily affirmations, water reminds us that our energy and intentions shape reality. By choosing love, gratitude, and positive intention, we can raise our frequency and create a ripple effect of healing.

Ready to Explore More?

For deeper insights into water’s consciousness, check out Veda Austin’s book “Hydroglyphs” and begin your own journey of discovery.

How do you interact with water? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments!

Reclaiming Your Power: How to Stay Centered in a Chaotic World

Wed, 26 Feb 2025 11:26:50 GMT

I Fell into a Rabbit Hole—Here’s How I Found My Way Back

Welp, I Stumbled Recently…

Despite my best intentions (and having preached about this very thing!), I fell into an Instagram rabbit hole recently. I knew I needed to catch up on messages, but I ended up scrolling through reel after reel of frightening information – information that, unfortunately, resonated deeply with my soul.

I left feeling hopeless. Sound familiar?

Returning to Center: The Path Back to Love

The truth is, I know the way back. It's the same path I guide others on . I had to "come back to Center"—back to Love. It's about focusing on what I can control – the positivity right in front of me, the connections with loved ones, the nurturing of my community. My daily rituals have been a lifeline, keeping me grounded and heart-centered. Self-reflection always reminds me of what truly matters.

If you've also found yourself outside of your body, caught in the fear and overwhelm of current realities, please remember that you have the power to center yourself again. You have the power to choose how you respond to your thoughts and experiences. This isn't about ignoring what's happening in the world. It's about consciously choosing where you place your energy. It's about reclaiming your power from the things you cannot control and focusing on what you can.

Transforming Fear into Action

The fear is real, and the anger is justified. But let’s channel our emotions into action . What if we turned them into fuel for positive change? We are stronger together. We have a voice, and we have the power to make a difference. We cannot become paralyzed and allow the fear to consume us. Instead, we can choose how we respond.

This month, I invite you to focus on reclaiming your sense of agency. Identify one small, doable action you can take.

Maybe it's connecting with your community—researching a local organization, having honest conversations with loved ones, or joining forces with others who share your concerns. Maybe it's focusing on what you can control—your self-care practices, your interactions with others, the actions you take within your local sphere.

Perhaps it's simply taking a break from the news to reconnect with yourself through a hot bath, time in nature, or allowing yourself to rest. These small acts of self-care, connection, and conscious action are not luxuries; they are essential . They are how we sustain ourselves, how we nurture hope, and how we build resilience in the face of uncertainty. Focus on that. Nurture that. Let it be your anchor in the storm.

Signs of Spiritual Growth: Pay Attention to Your Frequency

When we are pulled into those heavy moments, please also allow your awareness to observe how the veil is thinning. Please pay attention to your ascension symptoms. I know some of you are having more vivid dreams, you're having different cravings, and you're being affected differently by some of your old devices, such as alcohol. Begin to make the changes that are in alignment with your intuition.

We are processing a lot of emotional growth, which is never easy. Please consider adding a morning daily ritual to begin each day with intention. Take action to clear your energy field and keep your vibes high.

Request help and guidance from your spiritual guides and ancestors if it resonates with you.
Reflect on three things you are grateful for – get creative each day.
Light up your chakras and go into heart coherence .
Commit to accomplishing one to three things a day.
Find one thing to inspire you daily.

The Power of Love and Gratitude

And of course, remember the power of Love. Love for us, Love for each other, Love for the planet. Cultivate gratitude for the good in your life, even during the challenges. And be a helper! (Think Mr. Rogers.) When we focus on love, gratitude, and service, we not only lift ourselves up, but we also create a ripple effect of positivity that touches the lives of others (think Lynn McTaggart and The Intention Experiment ).

Sometimes I imagine how my small acts of kindness have a powerful ripple effect, and it inspires me to do more. At the end of the day, WE ARE ONE , whether we want to admit it or not. We are reflections, and when we are triggered, we need to self-reflect to shift that heavy energy (think Byron Katie ).

Remembering Your Power: Hold Your Frequency High

Your frequency affects those around you. If you are taking the time to fully read this article, you are obviously a Light Volunteer (think Dolores Cannon and The Three Waves of Volunteers ). You are only responsible for consciously being the energy that you are. Your natural frequency of Love and compassion helps the collective to shift into higher frequencies.

This is why I continue to preach about NOT getting seduced by the thoughts that pull at your energy .

DO NOT LOWER YOUR FREQUENCY TO MATCH ANYONE.

Be the damn Light and allow people to rise to your vibration if they choose. We got this!

Much Love,

Dena

Heal Past Relationship Wounds: Transform Your Energy and Attract Authentic Love

Sat, 25 Jan 2025 05:07:14 GMT

Is yesterday's pain your today's frequency?

It’s hard to feel safe in any relationship when unresolved pain and emotional wounds linger in our bodies. Healing these wounds isn’t just about revisiting past hurt—it’s about shifting energy, embracing self-compassion, and creating space for love to flourish.

In this post, I’ll share tools and insights to help you heal past relationship wounds, release emotional baggage, and elevate your frequency to attract the love and relationships you truly desire.

Understanding the Impact of Relationship Wounds

When heartbreak, betrayal, or unresolved conflicts go unacknowledged, they create emotional barriers that affect our ability to form and maintain healthy relationships .

How Unprocessed Pain Affects You:

Limits Authentic Connections: Past wounds may make it harder to build new, meaningful relationships.
Creates Emotional Triggers: Pain can resurface unexpectedly, influencing how we react to others.
Repeats Patterns: Old limiting beliefs can subconsciously cause us to repeat undesirable patterns in relationships.

This unprocessed pain becomes part of your energy frequency, subtly influencing your interactions. To heal, we must recognize these triggers as opportunities to shift our beliefs and energy.

Practical Tools to Heal Past Relationship Wounds

Healing starts with awareness and is supported by simple, yet powerful, techniques. Here are some methods you can use to begin releasing emotional pain and reclaiming your power:

1. Self-Reflection: Acknowledge and Shift Limiting Beliefs

When triggered, ask yourself:

What belief am I holding that causes this reaction?
Where did this belief come from?
Is this belief still true for me?

For example:

Trigger: A co-worker always needs to be the center of attention.
Limiting Belief: "I never matter. I always take a backseat."
New Belief: "I have the power to prioritize my desires and feel safe being seen."

By acknowledging and challenging these beliefs, you can shift your energy and create new patterns of interaction.

2. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT or Tapping)

EFT, also known as tapping is a powerful way to release negative energy and accelerate emotional healing. By gently tapping on specific acupressure points while focusing on your emotions, you can calm your nervous system and release stored pain.

3. Self-Compassion: Rewriting Your Inner Narrative

Replace negative self-talk with compassion. Speak to your inner child with kindness and understanding:

Encourage yourself: "I’m allowed to make mistakes and learn."
Let go of comparisons: "I am uniquely me, and that is enough."

This shift in inner dialogue creates a foundation for emotional healing and empowerment.

4. Mirror Work: Affirm Love to Yourself

Each morning, look into your left eye in the mirror and repeat affirmations like:

“I love you.”
“You are worthy of love and joy.”

This practice helps you reconnect with your inner self and boosts self-esteem.

5. Heart Coherence: Align Your Heart and Mind

Heart coherence is a simple yet profound practice:

Place your hands on your heart and breathe deeply.
Focus on cultivating positive emotions like gratitude, love, or compassion.
Visualize moments where you felt loved and appreciated.

This practice reduces stress and increases emotional resilience, helping you align with higher frequencies of love.

6. Loving-Kindness Meditation

Extend compassion to others through acts of kindness:

Send gratitude texts or notes to friends and family.
Smile at strangers or offer small gestures of kindness.
Speak your loved ones’ "love languages" to deepen your connection.

When we shift our energy toward love and kindness, we naturally attract more of it into our lives.

Forgiveness: A Path to Liberation

Forgiveness is one of the most powerful ways to heal past relationship wounds. This includes forgiving others and yourself:

Forgive Loved Ones: Understand they acted from their own experiences and limitations.
Forgive Yourself : Release guilt and take responsibility for how you choose to feel moving forward.

Ask yourself:

Can I forgive this person for the past?
Can I forgive myself for carrying this belief for so long?

By doing so, you reclaim your energy and create space for new, empowering beliefs.

Start Your Healing Journey

Healing is a journey, not a race. You don’t need to adopt all these practices at once—start with one or two and build from there. Celebrate your progress along the way and be patient with yourself.

If you’d like to explore these concepts further, I invite you to schedule a session or join our upcoming retreat . Together, we’ll dive deeper into techniques like EFT tapping, Brain Synchronization Therapy, and energy alignment to help you heal, grow, and thrive.

DM me with any questions or book your session today!

Take the First Step Toward Emotional Freedom

Healing past relationship wounds opens the door to authentic love and deeper connections. By releasing limiting beliefs, practicing self-compassion, and elevating your energy frequency, you can transform your relationships and your life.

Start your journey today. You deserve it.

Beyond Resolutions: Cultivating Self-Awareness for Lasting Change in the New Year

Thu, 26 Dec 2024 06:54:56 GMT

How to convert Intentions into Action

"Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can," Arthur Ashe.

Let's begin in this moment. Beyond resolutions and big goals, if we think and act with small, doable steps, we can more effectively direct our energy from within to move ourselves in the direction we want to go.

This new year, let's embrace new beginnings and focus on setting simple, achievable intentions that feel right for us!

As many of you know, I choose an Intention word each year. Intention provides direction, preventing us from becoming stagnant. By consciously deciding how we want to experience the year, we set ourselves up for greater joy and fulfillment.

My suggestion is to break everything down into doable steps. This year to keep you in flow, I would like for you to step into your Intention and get clear on five things that lower your frequency that can be removed from your life. Then get clear on five feelings or experiences that you would like to create and cultivate that will add to your life experiences.

Why Small Steps Are the Key to Big Change

Beyond resolutions and lofty goals, focusing on small, achievable steps can help you channel your energy effectively. By starting with what feels manageable, you create momentum that propels you toward your dreams.

This practice is simple yet transformative. First choose your intention word, then

Identify five things that lower your energy or frequency that you can release.
Identify five feelings or experiences you want to embrace to enhance your life.

My Intention Word: Light

Release:

Negative self-talk
Talking negatively about others
Watching the news
Negative habits
Negative friends

Embrace:

My inner child
My Buddha belly
My boss
New experiences
Fasting

Breaking Intentions into Actionable Steps

Let’s explore how to turn those into actions:

Negative Habit: Drinking Too Much

Inspiration :

Read The Alcohol Experiment for fresh perspectives.

Action :

Commit to Dry January.

Support :

Replace happy hours with walking dates with friends.

Reflection :

Journal for five minutes daily about reclaiming your power.

Accountability :

Find a friend to join you.

Positive Habit: Fasting

Inspiration :

Research the benefits of fasting.

Action :

Set a date and duration for your fast (e.g., three days).

Support :

Download a fasting app for guidance.

Reflection :

Journal your excitement about cleansing and feeling lighter.

Accountability :

Partner with a friend for mutual encouragement.

Tips for Staying on Track

Don’t Wait for Motivation: Motivation often follows action, not the other way around. Start small, and let the energy build naturally.
Keep It Simple: By breaking your goals into manageable steps, you reduce overwhelm and set yourself up for success.

Why Living with Intention Matters

When we consciously choose what to release and embrace, we unlock more joy and positive energy. Each small step brings us closer to a fulfilling life, fueled by resilience, growth, and commitment to a brighter future.

Join My New Year’s Day Class

If you’d like guidance in creating your Intention Word and releasing limiting beliefs, join my live online 90-minute class on New Year’s Day!

When: January 1, 10:30 AM MST
Cost: $33
What You’ll Gain: Tools to step into your power and set yourself up for success in 2024.
Register here!

If this is your year to change, please consider also joining us for these powerful offerings:

Upcoming Opportunities

Sacred Seasons Winter Gathering (In-Person, Colorado): January 5, 2025 in-person sound healing and immersive workshop, Denver
Sol Rejuvenation Women’s Retreat : February 6-9, 2025

Keep looking up and stepping into higher frequency energy. Remember, your intention word becomes your daily mantra. Example: I AM LIGHT.

Stay Blessed, and let's see how bright you can shine this year!

Much Love,

Dena

You had control all along!

dena@fakeemail.com (Dena Gould) — Mon, 25 Nov 2024 11:41:01 GMT

You have everything you need to shape your experiences

You had control the whole time.

I recently did a Brain Synchronization Therapy session with a good friend. Afterward, he shared a profound insight: "I do have control!"

I get buzzed when my clients experience those ah-ha moments, when the mental realization or fact they have heard many times becomes integrated in their whole being and becomes their truth! I can see and feel the shift in their body and their entire being!

Feeling like Glinda, the good witch of the north, (you know what I mean!) I felt like shouting, "Yes! Of course you have control! You have held the power the whole time!"

I totally relate to those ah-ha moments, especially when you are doing this subconscious work. It just hits differently. You can physically feel the difference in your body, because you literally change your frequency.

This is your friendly reminder; you have full control over how you experience life.

You have choices about the thoughts you entertain and the stories you feed.

Trauma can certainly shape our patterns and limit our beliefs. As Bashar, channeled by Darryl Anka, wisely observed, once we become aware of these patterns and habits, they become choices . When you know you're doing something that isn't healthy or is putting you into a state of anger or fear it's now a choice.

Of course, changing these patterns isn't easy, but with awareness, you can begin to take steps to create the life you desire and gain more control over your experiences.

Recent political news left me shocked, angry, and disappointed. I allowed myself to fully experience the range of emotions that arose: disappointment, anger, fear, sadness, and overwhelm. However, I knew I couldn't stay stuck in those feelings because I did not want to attract more of that lower feeling frequency.

I have full control over how I want to experience life.

One thing that truly helps me is gratitude and I've taken this practice to the next level. I find gratitude in everything, big and small - from appreciating the simple act of applying lotion to my hands and feeling my skin rejuvenate, to thanking all of the material and natural things in my life (yes, I talk to trees and my water!). And of course, I constantly cherish the blessings of family, friends, and love.

Do you struggle to activate meaningful gratitude?

Here's a tip:
I always highly recommend never comparing yourself to anyone because that usually just causes suffering. However, if you find it challenging to be in a true state of gratitude, I do recommend playing the game of comparing yourself to those less fortunate. This can help you truly go into a state of grace and calm with all that you are and all that you have.

By going into a state of gratitude it completely shifts your energy and attracts more things for you to be grateful for. This is the law of attraction.

Cultivating deeper gratitude daily will shift your energy and frequency. When you can elevate this practice to a love for all aspects of yourself and your experiences, both positive and negative, you'll reach a new level of vibrational energy that attracts more of what you desire.

Life is a journey of experiences. Let's strive to control how we navigate these experiences, especially the challenging ones. Instead of labeling them as "bad," let's view them as opportunities for growth and transformation.

As we reflect on our lives, we often realize that our greatest growth occurs during our darkest times. Let's be grateful for these periods of growth and the progress we've made.

The love and gratitude you cultivate have a ripple effect, positively impacting those around you and even the planet. You've chosen to be a beacon of love, but that doesn't mean taking on others' burdens. Especially if you are a people pleaser. The best thing you can do is Love yourself enough to set boundaries and allow others to have their own experiences.

Take responsibility for your own happiness and well-being, rather than waiting for external conditions to change or the world to feel safe.

You have full control over how you experience life.

Take steps to control how you are experiencing your life.
Take steps to honor joy and freedom in this present moment with who you are and how you're showing up for yourself and then allow that a ripple effect to benefit others.

Because, hey, “If you don't control your mind, someone else will. ” — John Alston

5 Steps to help control your experiences:

1. Practice Gratitude (find out what may be missing from your gratitude practice here !)

2. Flip and Turn method - some examples here !

3. Reduce social media – stop looking for support to feed your suffering.

4. Be a Helper

5. Consciously raise your frequency

I've got 2 beautiful events coming up if you'd like to supercharge your start to the new year, or gift it to a loved one! Details here .

Thank you for taking the time, and let's end this year powerfully and in Joy, or whichever way we want to experience it!

Much Love,

Dena

When you choose this - everything shifts!

Mon, 28 Oct 2024 01:56:47 GMT

There is only Fear or Love.

A girlfriend I hadn't spoken to in a long time called me, frustrated. She was upset with her son and his political choices.

She wanted to know where she had gone wrong.

I could completely relate. Years ago, during another election, I found myself in the worst state of prolonged fear I had ever experienced. That state of fear attracted more reasons to fear.

This feeling took me out of my body, lasted too long, and left me breathless. I found myself searching for evidence to justify my fear.

I became the victim of my own thoughts. EWW!

I was not used to feeling fear at this level. I was so sad at the behavior of others. I was angry that I could not control them. That they would not listen to my wisdom. It took time to come back to “my Center.”

I had to remember that there was either love or fear, period.

I promised myself I would never allow myself to hang out in fear like that again. When my mind wants to visit fear, I do my best to catch it as quickly as I can. I honor the emotion and gently turn it around.

If I find myself getting angry, I “Byron it” or do The Work the way Byron Katie has taught me.

Here’s how to do it:

Is it true?
Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
How do you react when you believe that thought?
Who would you be without the thought?

Then, I find a “turnaround”—a thought that reflects the opposite. For example, “How can they not have empathy?” becomes “Why don’t I have empathy?”

In reality, they’re likely afraid too. That’s what’s beneath it.

As you perform The Work you FEEL your energy shift. You feel fear leaving your body, and you come back to what you can control: your thoughts. And with that, you’re safe again. Safe to love. Safe from being triggered—because when there’s no button, there’s nothing to push.

There is either Love or Fear.

What do you do to support coming from a place of Love? Are you looking for support of fear like I did? Are you nourishing your energy with positive books, social media, people and podcasts, or are you taking in empty calories with negative social media, people and news?

Negativity is not entertainment – and yes, I still must catch myself looking for proof or validation of my own negative thoughts, but it’s depleting.

Let’s consciously do better!

My Sister-in-Law bought me a sign years ago that says: Be conscious of the energy you bring into this home . Let’s also be conscious of the energy that we bring into our bodies.

What you are believing is what you will attract.

I believe that we will jump timelines together and shift the frequency as a collective. I know that we are going to be fine. The earth is going to be fine. She has a way of cleansing and taking care of things. When we come from Love, we feel safe no matter what happens. We don’t need to control anyone outside of us.

You are the Goddamn Light!

Much Love,

Dena

Breathe into the Fall Energy

Sun, 29 Sep 2024 06:29:52 GMT

Fall Ritual and Breathwork to honor the energy of the season

What do you experience when the seasons change?

As of September 22nd, we officially moved into Fall Season in the northern hemisphere and it's always a good time for an energy check-in.

Fall is an opportunity to be more present as the days grow shorter and the nights longer.
This can be a time for personal growth, healing, and spiritual development for all of us - but for some of us, it means back into that fall funk.

It's ok to be there, and here's how to allow it to be, and to see it as part of your healing cycle and not a fallback.

According to Traditional Chinese Medicine, this is the season of grief and letting go. I co-hosted the Sacred Seasons – Fall event on the 22nd, and it always brings ease, clarity and even excitement for this season, and I'd love to share some insights with you.

I have chosen to embrace GRACE this season. In the past, my subconscious tried to outrun or outwit the fall funk, forgetting that emotions deserve to be honored . I now allow myself to step into a natural shift in energy towards introspection and inner work during this season.

Fall is the season to honor grief and sadness. Let's embrace these emotions when they arise, but not give them power.

I have been doing much better at being present and breathing into my emotions. Truly honoring the feeling of them. In the past, I may have hurried and attempted to “tap” the emotion away. Yes, it worked, but I have found that breathing into and “allowing” feels more sacred. It’s more expansive for me if I have to capacity to do it.

This practice has become my beautiful dance with presence and GRACE. I have chosen to set time for this as one of my Fall Rituals.

Try it out and see how your energy shifts!

Fall Ritual Practice:

· Allow yourself to get still and feel your body. Notice any discomfort.

· Question the emotion affiliated with the discomfort. If you cannot label the emotion simple call it “discomfort” in your mind’s eye.

· Measure on a scale of zero to 10 how uncomfortable this emotion or discomfort is,10 being the most uncomfortable. This will allow you to see how powerful your breath can be. I have found the higher you can get the number the more we can get the pendulum to swing the other way.

· Focus your energy on your heart center and breathe with your heart. See yourself inhaling through the front and back of your heart space and exhaling through the front and back of your heart space. As you breathe see and feel that energy getting bigger and bigger allow yourself to tap into that loving compassion for your essence.

· Observe this energy you're allowing it to get bigger and bigger.

· Once this energy feels full in your body, quietly say to yourself, "I breathe into this emotion/discomfort." And see the breath going into that space on your body. Feel it going into that space and continue to breathe into that space until you feel a shift.

· Once you feel the shift remeasure the feeling, and if there is not a significant amount of movement I would add the butterfly tap technique to this routine and see if maybe you can go a little deeper to find out the underlying cause of the emotion to tap into that energy a little bit more.

· Continue this practice until you have significant movement within your energy.

Please also allow yourself to become aware of the shifts in any physical pain that you may have been experiencing. A lot of times that physical pain is associated with stuck emotions and by honoring the emotion and breathing through it it truly helps to clear that dense frequency.

As an additional practice this month I encourage you to breathe in into any challenging moments that you find yourself dealing with during the day. Our breath is so much more powerful than we give it credit for. My husband can always tell when I'm working through something based on my deep breaths.

Also, simple mindful breathing is a great way to keep your energy centered. Try these step-by-step instructions for the Box Breathing technique and 4-7-8 breathing, and let me know which technique helps you!

Box Breathing Technique

Box breathing is a simple yet effective breathing technique that can help reduce stress, anxiety, and improve focus. It involves inhaling, holding, exhaling, and holding in a rhythmic pattern, creating a square shape on a graph when visualized.

Here's how to do it:

1. Inhale: Slowly inhale through your nose for a count of four seconds.

2. Hold: Hold your breath for a count of four seconds.

3. Exhale: Slowly exhale through your mouth for a count of four seconds.

4. Hold: Hold your breath again for a count of four seconds.

Repeat this cycle several times, adjusting the count as needed to find what works best for you.

Visualization Tip: Imagine drawing a square on a piece of paper. Each side of the square represents one of the four steps: inhale, hold, exhale, and hold.

Benefits of Box Breathing:

· Reduces stress and anxiety

· Improves focus and concentration

· Calms the nervous system

· Promotes relaxation

Remember: Box breathing is a simple technique that can be practiced anywhere, anytime. Give it a try and see how it affects your overall well-being.

4-7-8 breathing

Another example of mindful breathing is 4-7-8 breathing. This technique involves inhaling for a count of four, holding for a count of seven, and exhaling for a count of eight.

Here's a breakdown:

1. Inhale: Inhale slowly and deeply through your nose for a count of four.

2. Hold: Hold your breath for a count of seven.

3. Exhale: Exhale slowly and completely through your mouth for a count of eight.

Repeat this cycle several times.

This technique calms your body and reduces stress hormones by activating your parasympathetic nervous system. Repeat until you are aware that you feel calm and relaxed.

As you navigate your way through the fall feelings, remember that you are not alone! We all experience the ebb and flow of emotions, and it's okay to feel them. Embrace grace and honor your feelings, and may your rituals bring you peace, clarity, and a deeper connection to yourself.

Much Love,

Dena

Why does this keep happening to me?

Tue, 27 Aug 2024 03:33:39 GMT

How to reprogram your subconscious for a life you desire (and deserve!)

My friend recently shared that someone she cares about is constantly experiencing the same negative situations. Despite being kind, empathetic, and always willing to help, they keep attracting negativity.

You might wonder why this happens. It's not about being unkind or unfair. It's about our beliefs and how they shape our reality. People who seem successful and happy often believe they deserve those things.

It's not about being kind; it's about our programming and frequency.

Understanding subconscious programming and frequency

Let’s understand the concept of programming and frequency. Our frequency is in direct relation to how we've been programmed.

Our early life shapes our beliefs. I learned this concept in my late 30s while reading Dr. Bruce Lipton's book The Biology of Belief . He highlights how the subconscious mind is programmed during the first seven years of life. In these early years, the brain is primarily in theta and alpha states, the same frequencies associated with hypnosis and deep meditation.

I believe that this “programming” begins while the baby is in the womb. This means everything that we hear and see up to the age of 7 becomes part of our beliefs and many of those beliefs become our programming.

Most of our life experiences are directly related to our programming because it becomes our frequency. This is why I love the work that I do: When we work together to clear up negative beliefs and programming, we can create new beliefs and attract more desirable experiences!

The impact of our childhood experiences

Many of us grew up feeling like we didn't matter or were a burden in some fashion or another.

Remember those times when a parent was always too busy? It's easy to start believing that you're not important, especially when you're surrounded by parents who might be struggling with addictions, anger, or trauma.

From these tough experiences, we often create agreements with ourselves to try and fit in or feel valued. Maybe you decided you had to be perfect, or maybe you thought you needed to be everything to everyone. Or maybe you just shrank away and hid to avoid disappointment.

These agreements have become part of your frequency, unintentionally attracting more experiences that reinforce them. Even small moments, like a kid being mean to you in class, can have a lasting impact.

These hidden wounds can manifest as recurring patterns and challenges, blocking us from achieving our desires.

Breaking Free from Negative Patterns

To break free from these patterns, we need to take responsibility for our vibrational energy.

Blaming our spouse, our boss, or any external factor won't change our circumstances. Instead, we must do the inner work to clear away limiting beliefs that are no longer serving us.

There are very few healing modalities that can clear the subconscious, so I'll go more into that later, but first, another revelation.

I recently heard Robert Edward Grant say, “Judgment is the source of all suffering.” I took a deep breath. We only judge when we are triggered.

You'll know you're making progress when you're less triggered by other people's behavior. It's an exhilarating experience! Clearing negative programming can be vulnerable, but it's incredibly rewarding. You truly are the creator of your life, your experiences, happiness, and success.

I'm not saying you need to deny the hard things that have happened to you. But you do need to take your power back and stop living in the past, which can't be changed.

4 Practical Steps to Clear Old Programming

Here are some practical steps to start addressing and clearing old programming

1. Identify your limiting beliefs:

Journal : Write down recurring thoughts, feelings, and patterns in your life.
Reflect : Where do you feel stuck, anxious, or unhappy? What beliefs might be underlying these emotions?
Feedback : Ask trusted friends or family members for honest feedback about your patterns and behaviors. This can be challenging to do, I know it can be extremely tough to allow yourself to get vulnerable and ask. Skip this step if it will cause you to close up and not continue uncovering your old programming and healing! But do try to remember, it is in these uncomfortable moments of vulnerability that you will find the connection and clarity you need to heal. You have to go into it knowing that these people love you and would like to help you through things that you are struggling with. They are giving feedback with love, and notice if you start to turn it into a negative spiral!

2. Challenge your beliefs:

Question the validity : Ask yourself if your beliefs are truly accurate and helpful. Are they based on facts or assumptions? At what age did this belief develop?
Replace with positive beliefs : Write down positive affirmations to counter your negative beliefs.
Turn the belief around : Learn more at www.thework.com . Byron Katie is a master at this.

3. Practice Mindfulness:

Meditation : Regular meditation can help you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings, allowing you to challenge negative beliefs.
Deep breathing : Deep breathing exercises can calm your mind and reduce stress.
Mindful awareness : Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings throughout the day, without judgment. FEEL and honor the emotion without judgment.

4. Take Action:

Perform Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) to clear the limiting beliefs from your subconscious. EFT is one of the few healing modalities that can clear the subconscious. I have tons of these on my YouTube channel .
Celebrate small wins : Acknowledge and celebrate your progress, no matter how small.
Schedule a session with me or join our women’s retreat in February.

Remember, it's your journey, it's personal, and it's not going to look like anyone else's - so keep focused on you! Be kind to yourself and celebrate your progress along the way!

Much Love,

Dena

Understand the Clairs to deepen Your Intuitive Powers!

Wed, 31 Jul 2024 10:24:14 GMT

Become more aware of your gifts!

What's your dominant Clair?

Can you guess mine?

Chances are if you are reading this blog, you are well aware of Intuition. We all operate on some level of connection to our hunches, gut feelings, or a knowingness that guides us.

But have you ever wondered how we receive these subtle messages?

During our women's retreats , my co-host Kim Moore often introduces the concept of the Clairs. Since we discussed signs and synchronicities in my last blog, I thought it would make sense to share information about the Clairs - these are the various ways we tap into our intuition, and let's take a deep dive and explore each of them!

I know many of you receive these signs and I wanted to give you definitions to understand them a little bit better. Clairs are the intuitive abilities that many of us possess to varying degrees, allowing us to perceive information beyond the scope of our usual senses. Whether you've experienced these firsthand or are simply curious, let's look at each Clair and see how it might manifest in your life.

But first, why?

Understanding the Clairs can open a whole new world of perception and insight for you!

It'll help you:

gain deeper insights into your emotions and thoughts
make more aligned decisions
feel more in tune with your inner self, harness your unique intuitive strengths, and
be able to better understand and empathize with the emotions and energies of those around you.

You will also be able to better trust your intuitive hits and inner knowing. You will deepen your connection to the spiritual realm and the universe’s subtle messages.

Sounds good? Now, explore the Clairs with me!

As you read: Which of these resonates with you? Which is more prominent in your experience? Which are you curious to know more about?

The 8 Clair Senses:

1. Clairvoyance (Clear Seeing):
It's like having a vivid movie playing in your mind, showing you people, places, or events that are beyond what your physical eyes can see. It's those moments when you get a strong mental image or vision. As I shared recently, a lot of my intuition is not flashing lights . It's usually flashes of images that are a representation of something or an analogy that I need to decipher.

I experience these visions as very quick flashes that I must grasp. An example would be, tea cups. Sometimes I will see teacups and it usually means one of three things: It either means the person was very spiritual or religious; they had a teacup collection; or as simple as they enjoyed tea. I learned the meaning of this symbol through trial and error with clients.

2. Clairaudience (Clear Hearing):
It's when you hear messages, voices, or sounds that others might not. It could be a whisper of guidance, a song playing in your head with a special message, or even hearing someone's voice who has passed away.

I typically receive clear messages through music. This often takes the form of a song that resonates with the client or lyrics that hold personal significance for them. I rarely experience auditable voices other than my own.

3. Clairsentience (Clear Feeling):
It is often referred to as having a strong gut feeling or intuition. It's sensing emotions, energies, or vibes from people or places without any logical explanation. It could be walking into a room and immediately feeling the tension or joy that lingers there.

Clairsentience is one of my strongest Clairs. When I tune in, I can sense people's emotions and energies. It's incredibly frustrating to feel something is wrong with a loved one, only to be met with denial. I laugh as I write this because it’s a common human response to say, "I'm fine." I primarily use this ability in sessions, but my family is an exception. I can easily detect when something's off with my kids, pets, husband or close friends. I know many of you can relate to this instinctual awareness of those closest to us.

4. Claircognizance (Clear Knowing):
This is like having a deep inner knowing or understanding about something without knowing why or how. It's those moments of certainty or conviction that guide your decisions or thoughts effortlessly.

Clear knowing is challenging for me to define. It's an intuition that suddenly materializes in my mind. Sharing this is difficult, but a recent experience stands out. While with someone, the thought 'this person will die young'—specifically in their 50s—appeared unexpectedly. (This is NOT any of you.) I did not share this information with anyone because it would serve no positive purpose. It would only induce unnecessary fear and anxiety. I understand that we have our seasons in this realm and it means that their season will be complete earlier than what I would have expected.

5 and 6. Clairgustance (Clear Tasting) and Clairsalience (Clear Smelling):
These are less commonly known but equally intriguing. Clairgustance involves "clear tasting," where you might experience specific tastes or flavors associated with a person or situation. Clairsalience , on the other hand, is "clear smelling," where you catch a whiff of a fragrance or scent that holds meaning or a message.

I experience both of these. Last month I shared the smell of cigarettes that I will get when my Aunt comes to visit. I will also experience taste. Many times, in sessions I will taste minerals. I have learned from trial and error that it usually means the client has a magnesium deficiency. As a side note, magnesium spray applied to your feet at bedtime can be beneficial for sleeping since it's easier for magnesium to be absorbed through the skin.

7. Clairtangency/Psychometry (Clear Touching): Clairtangency, or "clear touching" is about picking up information about an object or its owner through touch, like feeling the history or emotions attached to it.

I trained in psychometry with Brian Robertson and Simon James a few years back and did ok, during training. It was a fun experience and cool when I received validation on what I was feeling. However, I did not exercise that muscle, so I am not too confident in this practice.

8. Clairempathy
Clairempathy is not the same as empathy or being an ‘empath’. It means you are able to sense emotions in advance, or feel other people’s emotions when they’re nowhere near you and you’re not communicating with them. You might feel that something is wrong with a loved one who lives so far away. You might sense their grief or sadness. It might not make sense but you are so closely linked to their energy that you have this psychic connection and feel their emotions.

I have a strong sense of Clairempathy where I can channel the emotions of lost loved ones, or can sense how my clients may have felt in their childhood or how they will feel about future events.

So that's it! Please remember, the clairs are for everyone! They aren't just mystical abilities reserved for a chosen few; they're part of our innate intuitive toolkit, and the more we learn and pay attention, the more we will develop our abiblities!

It's your turn!! I want to know about you!

Have you ever had a moment where one of these Clairs kicked in unexpectedly? I'd love to hear your stories and experiences with psychic perception. Feel free to comment below, or reach out on social media!

Stay curious and open to the whispers of the universe��

Much Love,

Dena

How to recognize signs from Spirit

Wed, 26 Jun 2024 09:52:36 GMT

Six tips to help you tune in to signs and synchronicities

Do you pay attention to the signs?

I was recently asked to do a house cleansing. The last cleansing I did was about five years ago for an old and powerful commercial property on Colfax Avenue, here in Denver. I usually refer all of my home cleansing requests out. However, something told me to do this one even though I had a full schedule.

The house was empty and ready for the family to move in. It was almost 100 years old and beautiful. The client's energy was pure light. While cleansing the home, there was a persistent fly that I ended up freeing by opening a door. When I see flies, I think of my uncle Jimmy. He held fatherly energy for me when my own father could not, even though he had 5 beautiful daughters he took time to make sure I felt seen. This fly made me wonder if it was a sign of some sort. However, I was there to do a cleansing and I don’t like to cross boundaries. Especially if I don’t know what my clients’ beliefs are.

However, when I was in the lower level of the house I noticed a dead fly on the ground. For me, this usually means “PAY ATTENTION!” So I did. I got still and felt a male presence and wondered if maybe the client’s uncle had recently passed. At the end of the home clearing, I connected more with the client and it felt safe to share. Long story short, it was the client’s father that had passed, and I was able to tap in more and share information that I believe the client’s soul needed to hear.

What is it like to receive signs?

This is how it works for me. It’s not flashing lights. The “voice” is always mine. It’s a nudge that forces me to “listen.” I then must decipher the analogies that they show me in my mind’s eye. It feels made up, but the synchronicities cannot be denied. At times I freewrite, and this can help decipher the message.

Here's another story you might enjoy watching about a recent message from my late Aunt Barbara.

How will I know it’s a sign?

My clients often ask for help recognizing and confirming signs from spirit. Here's what I recommend if you want to expand this part of your daily experience: view everything, yes, everything, as a sign! Live with intention, trust and flow with the experiences.

When I observe synchronicities, I trust that I am in flow. When I see my favorite number sequence or my common signs such as crows or dragonflies, I smile and feel a pep in my step. My husband will often see the sequence of his birthday. If I come across an animal or insect that is not as familiar and I don't look up the meaning behind the animal, it will usually show up again and it will remind me to pause and be with the lesson of that sign.

Be open to receive and keep it light-hearted!

Please do your best to always keep this easy. Sometimes when you Google an animal totem it can be overwhelming with all of the information. Take what's useful and leave the rest. I will always focus on the positive and only take notice of the negative attributes of a sign.

Subtle symbols, synchronicities, and patterns

Sometimes they are easier to recognize - dragonflies, songs, numbers, etc. Read here for 10 common signs to look for .
Sometimes signs show up in clever ways. There have been times in my life when I continue to hit every red light. When that happens, I know I need to slow down. If I trip, I know that I need to ground my energy. If I cut or injure myself, I practice more self-love. If I feel ill, I know my body is looking for permission to take a break and I do my best to tap into what is needed in my life to be well.
But almost always, they are personal and will have different meanings for you based on your past life experiences and the experience you are having right now. What's a sign to you may not be a sign to anyone else, so it's important to remember to trust yourself!

I truly believe that we are here to have experiences. Please do not get too caught up in giving your power away to the sign and synchronicities but instead embrace them as guideposts. Be gentle and easy on yourself throughout your life.

Take the challenge!

Spirit*Source*the Universe is here to help. I challenge you to ask for a significant sign within the next 24 hours! This 24-hour deadline is inspired by Pam Grout’s book, E-Squared. I highly recommend this book to my more scientific thinkers. If you have a bit more “woo” in your energy, one of my first books on “connecting” was Angel Speak by Barbara Mark and Trudy Griswold.

Please also be aware that your energy must be in alignment with those higher frequencies . If we are in a negative space, the first thing you must do is correct that and raise your frequency with positive thoughts and actions. Hydration is also important. Drink your water! Try some of my favorite techniques to raise your vibration here .

Why Pay Attention to the signs?

Because it simply brings more magic, delight, closeness to spirit, and connection to everything beyond your busy mind. And it reminds us, nudges us, protects us, etc.

Recognizing signs and synchronicities in your life involves a blend of awareness, intuition, and reflection. I always suggest that if you question, is this a sign? then take it as a sign! If the universe knows you are paying attention it will show up. They can be so subtle, but the more we tune in, the easier it will become, and the more you will recognize that the universe is showing up for you!

Here are 6 steps to help you become more attuned and recognize the signs around you:

Stay open and aware: be present and observant of the world around you. Pay attention to unusual patterns or events that seem to stand out.
Trust Yourself: Your intuition is a powerful ally in recognizing signs. If something feels significant or timely, it might be a synchronicity.
Look for Patterns: Repeating numbers, symbols, or themes can be indicators of synchronicities. These patterns often emerge when you’re pondering a question or facing a decision.
Reflect on Timing: Sometimes, the timing of an event can be a sign. If something happens just when you need it most, it could be more than a coincidence.
Feel More, Think Less: Try to connect with your emotions and the sensations in your body. This can help you sense the significance of events beyond logical understanding.
Meditation and Mindfulness: Meditation can quiet the mind, making it easier to notice and interpret the signs the universe sends you.

Focus on tuning in this week, and see what you can open up! Email me your sign from your 24-hour challenge! I'd love to hear about it.

Much Love,

Dena

Self-Doubt Sucks! 3 Steps to Trust Yourself

Thu, 30 May 2024 00:37:03 GMT

Move past self-doubt, and know yourself best!

My client and friend Jodi and I were talking a while back about how good it feels to not be afraid of much anymore. Especially with this political climate.

Now that doesn’t imply that our lives will be “easy.” We know that there will be many challenges. However, we have chosen not to feed the fear and that is what makes the difference.

We have come to TRUST OURSELVES and that is transformational.

Self-trust means that we do not give our power away. We don’t feed the “what if” stories. We don’t allow negative thoughts to take our power and dominate our experience.

It means we stand in our power and trust our brilliance in each moment. In other words, it’s about making deliberate choices - choosing what to engage with and what to think about. We will consistently “flip and turn” thoughts as needed to support how we want to feel.

Do you find it challenging to trust yourself?

We all experience self-doubt , but if this is a consistent struggle, take a moment to reflect.
1. First, please ask yourself, “When did I start doubting my own voice?” Consider who made you feel unsafe about making a decision. If you were free to learn from your mistakes, what would you choose now? What would you decide?

2. Then, take quick action to release the self-doubt, and affirm your self-trust:
As you tap on your butterfly point, ( watch here ) state this over and over: “No one knows me better than me! I know what I want! I am open to trusting me more and more. I am the expert on my life!”

3. When you have time, I made a full Emotional Freedom Technique/Tapping routine video for you to follow along with and help you clear your self-doubt and trust yourself! Take time, and repeat as needed until you feel the shift!

Transforming our mindset and frequency is a journey that unfolds one day at a time. Start with today. Challenge your fears—are they based on truth? Is there anything that YOU can personally do to change it? If it’s something out of your hands, then shift your thoughts. You have the power to control them.

When you look for guidance through the synchronicities they will show up. When you truly trust yourself and take a step, the next stone will show up. If you are in the frequency of fear, then fear is going to show up and support what you are believing.

I want to remind you to look for the magic and all that you do. Ask for signs and trust them .

Sweet human, you are never alone!

Much Love,

Dena

My secret to deeper healing and more joy...

dena@fakeemail.com (Dena Gould) — Mon, 29 Apr 2024 03:39:58 GMT

How t o make better connections to self, others, and spirit!

Wanna know my secret power that compounds my healing, and raises my vibration sky high?

It’s you.

And all of you. All of us!

The empowerment that I get from my connection with all of us, I tell you, it's everything!

I am always on my kids about cultivating relationships because we all need to know we matter.

As I have shared in previous newsletters & blogs, I never want anyone to feel the way I have had to feel in the past.

I want people to know that they belong. That I see them and they matter.

Because I also want to be seen and know I matter. When I was younger, I was attention-hungry. I probably still am, but I hope I come across from my heart.

My friends are my breath. They are my remedy for just about everything. I have to admit, age definitely helps because we are in a safe space to be 100% us!

I have friends from elementary school that I will connect with once a year and it’s easy because we accept each other where we are at.
We are not trying to change one another for our comfort. We see and understand the journey it took to get where we are and we Love one another for it.

When I’m with my friends, especially the closest ones, I cherish the moment. There’s an ease to it, a natural flow where we’re all truly present. Laughter comes easily, and in those shared smiles and stories, we see each other—really see each other. It’s a space where being seen is just as important as seeing, where every glance and every giggle says, “I get you, I adore you, I Love you.”

And in this effortless exchange, there’s a deeper connection. It’s the kind of bond that doesn’t just fill the room; it fills the heart. It’s why I look forward to every gathering, every coffee date, every shared silence. Because with them, I’m home.

Creating connection with others goes hand in hand with connecting with yourself!

Connection to self is necessary for your growth and well-being. When we know ourselves better, we feel safer to connect with others.

How can I create and strengthen connections with myself?

Journal Time! You will gain so much from the action of journaling.
I highly suggest journaling on “How to create an authentic connection with me.”

I recently read a document from an ex-COO of Stripe, working with his career coach, Claire , )
I Love this idea for self-discovery. This will create a lot of self-reflection.

Scroll down for 18 Journal prompts on “How to create an authentic connection with me.”

Try a few of these prompts. You don't need to do this all at once, and maybe some areas are clear already for you so adjust as needed.

This self-reflection and better self-connection will help you be more conscious about your thoughts and be curious about them, turning criticism into self-compassion.

And it will give us more clarity on our purpose, values, and goals, and helps us align our actions with our desires.

How can I create and strengthen connections with others?

According to the studies of Lynn McTaggart, group intentions are proven to be more powerful than going at it alone.

Schedule time into your week or day where you will have face-to-face connection with others. This could be coffee with a friend, or even going to the supermarket and initiating a small conversation with the cashier.
If it’s hard to get in-person time with others, make time for phone conversations or write and send letters or cards.
Join workshops, retreats, and group activities.

If you are ready to jump in and experience the magic of deep and meaningful connection with like-hearted women, we are ready for you - please join us for our upcoming Women’s Retreat to connect, heal, and celebrate you!

The Essence of Connection in Our Women’s Retreat

The heart and soul of our women’s retreat, Sol Rejuvenation, is the profound and powerful magic of connection! It is all about coming together and creating a safe and loving place to support each other, and empower each other to let go, grow, glow.

And have a great time doing it.

Imagine a safe and inspiring place where you can be yourself, share your story, and learn from others. Our retreats create this special environment where bonds are formed, friendships blossom, and lasting memories are made.

When you join us, you’re not just attending a retreat; you’re joining a circle of empowerment and creating Forever Friends. You’ll leave with not only wonderful experiences but also the energy and wisdom of every woman you meet.

Come be a part of something special at " Sol Rejuvenation "—a place where connection, growth, and joy are at the heart of everything we do.

If it's within your capacity to join us May 9-12, we'd love to have you. Register before May 5th!

Do this for you!

Much love,

Dena

Journal Prompts: "How to create an authentic connection with me!"

Getting to Know Your True Self

What's something you'd like more of in your life?
How do you think having it would make you feel? Light, open, confident?
Imagine yourself in that state—how would you walk, talk, and carry yourself?
What small habits can you start today to bring more of this into your life?
What's something you wish you were doing but aren't? What's holding you back?

Identifying Barriers

Why do you think you're not living as you want to?
Are there patterns or behaviors you keep repeating? How are they limiting you?
How can you break away from these habits and do things your way?
Can you turn negative experiences into positive lessons? How have they made you stronger?

Understanding Your Support System

How do the people closest to you influence how you show up in the world?
Do you feel comfortable being your true self around them?
Who among them makes you feel empowered and supported?

Navigating Emotions

What stresses you out? What brings you peace?
What makes you feel insecure? What empowers you?

Envisioning Your Future

Where do you see yourself in a year if you achieve what you want?
What are three simple steps to start living that life?
What are five things you like about yourself that can help you reach your goals?
What qualities in others do you admire, and how can you bring those into your own life?

We have choices!

Mon, 25 Mar 2024 07:36:08 GMT

Understanding emotional frequency

We have choices.

Let’s understand emotional frequency and create some feel-good feelings!

We'll start with my favorite topic – Everything is energy! I read Dr. David R. Hawkins's book “Power VS Force” in my late 20s. At that time, some of the information was above my head, but his explanation of frequency stuck with me, especially the vibration of emotions. If you haven't read this book, I hope this information changes your perspective on the important role emotional frequency plays.

Dr. David R. Hawkins used muscle testing experiments with Kinesiology to create a logarithmic scale of seventeen levels of consciousness based on over 250,000 calibrations. He coined it as "The Hawkins Scale."

The seventeen levels of the Hawkins Scale, starting from the lowest to the highest, are –Shame, Guilt, Apathy, Grief, Fear, Desire, Anger, Pride, Courage, Neutrality, Willingness, Acceptance, Reason, Love, Joy, Peace, and Enlightenment.

Shame is at the bottom of the scale, with a consciousness level of 20, while Enlightenment sits at the top, with a consciousness level of 700+. Fear is at 100, a rating lower than anger at 150. Love has a 500 rating. Joy is rated higher at 540. Both surprised me.

Pause and take this in for a minute. How long do we allow ourselves to hang out in the "poor me" frequency of guilt/grief/fear/anger? How long do we actively choose to hang out in Joy?

No one is coming to save us! No one can think our thoughts. What Wolf are we choosing to feed? Bad things happen to all of us, but WE ALL HAVE CHOICES!

Please repeat:

I HAVE CHOICES! I HAVE CHOICES! I HAVE CHOICES! 

We can choose to feed the "poor me" over and over, or we can choose to honor the lower-frequency emotion with our presence and breath. Once it begins to pass through our body we can choose to move on. We can choose to create a feeling of Joy within our being. It is a thought away. The more you take control, the easier it gets and becomes your default setting.

I challenge you to see how long you can allow yourself to hang out with Joy and good feelings. See if you can go an hour. If you make it, challenge yourself to two hours and so on.

Remember:

My thoughts create my vibe. My vibe attracts my experiences.

We have to begin somewhere. So let's do this!

A few tips to help your practice of expansion and feeling good!

1. Each night right before you doze off, create the feeling of Joy in your body, so that you can wake up in a new frequency.

Tip - make it very visual - my friend Jen uses logs to let go of worry. If you tend to worry, put each worry on a log and visualize those logs floating down the river.

2. Upon waking up, visualize and feel your day as you would like to experience it.

Tip - Remind yourself that life is an experience. It doesn't have to be hard. Speak to everyone's highest power from your heart and not from your ego. Receive from the same place.

3. Throughout the day, create a feeling of Joy within your body. Breathe through your heart while doing this. See how long you can hang out in that feeling.

Tip - When triggering moments pop up, pause and breathe with them. Honor them until you feel movement (do not shove them down). But then come back to center with the mantra: I am safe to live in Joy.

Which one will you try today?

Do your best to harness the spring energy and take the action that best fits your capacity at the moment.

Much Love

Dena

Why do I get so angry?

Tue, 27 Feb 2024 04:47:00 GMT

The Anger Bubble and how to safely transform it

My dance with anger is not sexy.

There has recently been quite a bit of anger showing up with many of my clients and I am all too familiar with it.

I can sense it simmering within me, bubbling up to my third Chakra.

I call it the anger knot. It’s that familiar companion, the emotion that many of us cling to for safety, creating a barrier that keeps people at arm's length.

It's a dance I know all too well, shaped by childhood experiences and of course, the cosmic alignment of stars (I am the fiery Aries). For me, control equals safety. When I can manipulate how others perceive me and orchestrate my surroundings, I feel secure.

But when that control slips and I don't feel safe, my anger rushes full force. It pushes everyone away, reinforcing the belief that nobody wants to be close.

Yet, beneath the anger is a longing for something simpler: a hug, a moment of compassion, and the reassurance of safety in the vulnerability.

Anger is about confronting the uncomfortable truth. Standing in front of the mirror seeing my hurt five-year-old self and realizing her rhythm is out of sync. The dance with anger isn't sexy; it's raw and oftentimes can be hurtful.

The more I stand there, in the feelings, the more I can unravel the underlying emotions, the sadness, the hurt, the TRUTH.

And I can see and feel that I am ultimately safe.

Anger is a feeling that I wasn’t taught to experience. I don’t know anyone who was taught to feel and honor anger. Most of us were taught to push it down, so those around us could be comfortable.

I'm grateful for my inner work which helps me to recognize its signs. I've learned to embrace the emotions that come up, to sit with them, and have dialogue with them. This journey has transformed into a profound dance. When that anger knot shows up, hurtful words can come spewing from my mouth.

But if I’m conscious and can catch them and take a sidestep instead of jumping into the cha-cha, I grow more aware with each occurrence.

I have finally learned the power in the pause. The outburst isn't worth it. It's merely my own fear, my discomfort in relinquishing control over my environment.

Anger is not my favorite dance partner, but it has been one of my greatest teachers. I’ve learned the more I honor the underlying emotions, the grip of anger loosens, I am less triggered and I find more peace.

When we suppress anger and underlying emotions as they come up, they become energetically stored within us, inevitably leading to future issues – hence the anger bubble and the imperative need to release it.

What to do when you are angry?

Honor the Anger – Just don’t dance with it for too long.

Overthinking about the “incident” that caused the anger can put us into fight/flight/freeze. All our energy is pushed to our extremities attempting to keep us safe from the attack that isn't happening. We cause unnecessary stress to our bodies over thoughts.

If we allow it to go on for too long it may create health problems.

If we continue to feed the anger and underlying emotion, over time, it becomes a habit and then it becomes our personality, as Joe Dispenza would say.

Most of us know a lot of bitter humans. It doesn’t have to be that way: One conscious thought when triggered can turn into a side step and spin into something that is more in alignment with how we want to feel and experience life.

When we embrace and acknowledge our anger and all the deeper feelings as they come up, we liberate them from our physical being, allowing us to heal and enjoy our human experience.

How do I stop being so angry?

Naming the feelings helps and it is a great place to begin – for some of us it’s very specific, for some of us it’s not clear because we haven’t learned to dig in yet and see past the anger.

What are you avoiding with your anger?

Hurt, Betrayal, Fear, Insecurity, Frustration, Sadness , Powerlessness, Unmet Needs and Expectations, Guilt, Shame?

If you need a safe space and guidance to identify and process the underlying issues and defuse your anger bubble without hurting you or others, hop on my schedule this month, or join us in Denver for a powerful day of connection and healing at Sacred Seasons Spring!

Love to see you there!

Much Love,

Dena

8 ways to shift into more Authentic Relationships

Mon, 29 Jan 2024 06:14:26 GMT

Did I really just attract another $hitty boss?

"Did I really just manifest yet another controlling, mean a$$ boss?"

Why yes, yes I did.��

That was me years ago before I fully embraced these truths about (in)authenticity in my relationships, and took responsibility for my happiness.

Recently, I had a session with a powerful client who wanted to discuss many of her relationships . We discussed just about ALL of the relationships. The relationships with her boss, coworkers, children, siblings, friends, and her partner.

As we reviewed these connections, I guided her toward a better understanding of how to deal with some of the challenges that she faced. So, of course, she inspired this month’s topic.

I am always going to tell you to focus on ease. However, I know relationships are not always easy. If they’re too complicated, or difficult, and you find yourself unable to be your authentic self, it might be time for a reassessment.

Life is about the experience.

Let’s start from the top: Everything is energy. Energy has a frequency. How you are vibrating is what you most likely will attract. If you find yourself being triggered, that is a sign that you must look within. Ask, what is it about this person or situation that is triggering me? Sometimes we have to dig deep.

I have had quite a few bosses that operated out of control and fear. Believe it or not, I could not understand why I was attracting “MEAN” bosses. (I’m laughing at this now) I was attracting controlling bosses who took it to new heights. However, it was still my mirror to learn from. When I learned to control less, I was able to view them with a touch of compassion for their fears.

The same goes for “trying to keep the peace” because conflict makes us uncomfortable. Guess what we attract? This is not us keeping peace; this is avoidance and conflict will continue to show up until we are no longer triggered by it. The goal is to work towards comfort and authenticity.

Gary Brecka, a Human Biologist and biohacker, talks about the frequency of authenticity, suggesting it is the highest frequency to leave the human body. While I'm not entirely sold on that idea, authenticity is undeniably attractive. It doesn't mean perfection; it signifies feeling safe within our bodies, often indicating a journey towards self-love. In authentic relationships, you don't have to play games or feed egos – you can be exclusively yourself and be accepted for it.

Authenticity is easier said than done because you must learn to Love you AND you must be comfortable with hard conversations until they become “authentic” conversations. This is you speaking your truth for understanding. Not shaming or defending. Sometimes our bodies freak out during these conversations because we tap into emotions that want to hide. I promise, the more you do it, the easier it gets.

For Authentic relationships, please do not shame your person or play the victim. Please do not hurt your person because you are hurting, but practice empathy and imagine what must have happened in their childhood to cause them to behave from fear.

Here are 8 ways to reassess your approach to authenticity and nurture better relationships:

Honest Communication: Authenticity thrives on honest and open communication. Express your thoughts, feelings, and needs openly, creating a space for your person to do the same. Honest communication fosters understanding and strengthens the connection.

Vulnerability: Being authentic means allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Share your fears, dreams, and insecurities with your partner. Vulnerability builds trust and intimacy, creating a bond that goes beyond surface-level interactions.

Set Boundaries: Authentic relationships respect individual boundaries. Clearly define what you're comfortable with and what crosses the line. This ensures a healthy balance between togetherness and personal space.

Accept Imperfections: Authenticity embraces imperfections. Understand that both you and your partner are human, with flaws and quirks. Embrace these imperfections, as they are part of what makes each of you unique.

Celebrate Differences: Each person brings their own set of values, beliefs, and interests to a relationship. Authenticity involves celebrating these differences rather than trying to change or control them. Embrace the diversity within your connection.

Self-Reflection: Regularly reflect on your own authenticity. Understand your evolving self and how it aligns with your relationship. This self-awareness contributes to personal growth and a more genuine connection with your partner.

Embrace the journey: Remember, authenticity is a continual process, not a destination. It's about being true to yourself and allowing your relationship to evolve organically. As you both grow individually, your connection can deepen, creating a fulfilling and authentic bond. OR they may simply NOT be in frequency so you may need to get creative with the relationship until you are able to end it. This is not always easy if it is a boss or co-worker.

Always come back to you - Your happiness is your responsibility.

Life is about the experience. Let’s do our best to enjoy our daily experiences and not give our energy to those who are not in alignment with our desires. Don’t confuse this with the “if they don’t like me, then I don’t need them” attitude. Relationships are about growth, compromise, and connection. Growth and self-awareness are always within you.

I recommend watching Gary’s 50-second video on Authenticity - and taking on one or all of these 8 to reassess and work on in a relationship that you would most like to grow into.

Join us for our upcoming workshops and retreats to deepen authentic connections with like-minded, loving humans! We'd love to have you with us.

Much Love,

Dena

Create Powerful Intentions

Fri, 29 Dec 2023 02:41:46 GMT

Do this before you create your New Year's Intentions

Welcome to almost 2025! It would not be a Light of Mine January blog if we didn't discuss what your intentions will be for the upcoming year!

If you want the opportunity to clear energy live and create powerful Intentions with me on New Year's Day, here is your chance! I've created a live online course for you - details are here!

Before we jump into that, I do want to take a moment to reflect on your intention word for 2024 if you created one. For those of you new to this, I believe I'm probably going on about 20 years of having an intention word.

Last year my word was “Transformation.” When I reflect, I can put a smile on my face because I see so many different ways that I have transformed this last year. I've added a lot of new habits and rituals that I'm very proud of and cleared up some things that were not beneficial to my mind and body.

Please take a moment to only focus on all the good things that you're proud of this past year.
We know that we can always do better, but that is not where we want our energy.

How to Create Your New Year's Intention:

Activate your body first. Close your eyes and breathe deeply through your nose.
Then picture your breath inhaling through the front and back of the heart chakra and exhaling out the front and back of the heart chakra allowing yourself to go into heart coherence.
Get fully present in your body and feel completely centered.
Allow yourself to feel at ease.
Feel peace flowing through you as you are in heart coherence.
Feel the Love flow through you.
Now, allow yourself to get very clear on how you want to feel this next year. What feeling do you want to honor and bring into your life? Allow this to be one word. This will become your intention word for next year.

Be conscious of how you will be experiencing this next year. I believe my most challenging year was when I chose “Happy.” I was humbled a lot that year and basically forced to have a mantra of “Oh well!” I had to stop caring what other people thought, I had to stop taking on other people's journeys, and boy did I step into some happiness. Some examples of my intention words over the years are Happy, Grace, Balance, and Cleanse.

This year I have chosen CREATE. I am curious to see what I manifest in 2025. Whatever word you choose should not be mistaken with perfection. Allow the experience to unfold while embracing your intention. Allow your word to be your daily mantra and support a positive feeling. “I create: ease, magic, understanding, grace,

Comment on this post or message me your word! I'd love to hear your intention and share helpful resources to support that during the coming year.

Something else I want you to add to this intention is please allow it to be easy. Allow it to flow. I cannot state this enough. Life does not have to be hard. Life is filled with experiences and when you can see your life as many experiences with different decisions that need to be made, it flows so much better than "My life sucks and everything is hard." Change that thought to, “Everything is always working out for me.”

We still have room in our Sol Rejuvenation women's retreat February 6-9, 2025. If you've been on the fence, I'm going to suggest that you just jump! I believe this is the impetus that you need for 2025. Give yourself permission to do this for you!

Much Love,

Dena

A Transformation Tool that Helped Me Shine!

Wed, 29 Nov 2023 07:31:12 GMT

What message do my spirit guides always, always give me?

EVERY TIME I ask my guides what they would like me to know their first response is - LOVE, ALWAYS LOVE, DENA .

Reflecting on the past year, did it unfold the way you envisioned? I get it, we set intentions at the beginning, and life takes us on unexpected journeys!

My intention word for 2023 was Transformation.

And I'd love to share with you the tool that has most helped me transform and create more Love.

This year, my biggest transformation has been consciously and consistently going into heart coherence .

I am most proud of this. It has had the biggest impact on me, my energy, and therefore everyone and everything around me. I spend more time in Grace and that just gives me permission to Love and accept me.

Heart coherence is a daily practice that helps me to focus on the Love frequency and that feels so much better than focusing on what I personally do not have the means to change.

If you have been living in the frequency of fear and/or anger, please consider breathing with your heart and sending Love to yourself and the world. It makes a world of difference. Literally! It will raise the energy of the earth. We are powerful as a collective.

So here are your actions to take:
Every morning, start with heart coherence when you open your eyes. Set the frequency of your day by spending your first morning moments in a little Love glow.

Every night, reflect on your achievements, no matter how small. Take the time to review the things you are most proud of and allow yourself to acknowledge any experiences you wish you had handled differently. When these moments come to mind, envision and embrace them as if you had handled them in the best way possible. By doing this, you release any lingering negativity and prevent it from manifesting in ways you don't desire

Take a moment to celebrate what you have accomplished in the past year, regardless of whether you achieved specific goals. Allow yourself to be present in your proud moments and start feeling enthusiastic about the new year and the endless possibilities it holds.

And if you feel like it, hit reply and share them with me here! I love to hear what you're doing and what you're proud of.

This song often brings me to tears. Find a song that is your go-to when you need to feel and remember to Love more.

If you need some inspiration and collective Love, please join us this January at Sol Rejuvenation - A Woman’s retreat. please visit the pages or message me for details.

Much Love,

Dena

9 Ways to Raise your Vibration Now!

Thu, 09 Nov 2023 12:52:20 GMT

What are you attracting?

When stress or overwhelm get us, and we begin to notice our thoughts are not helpful or kind
take a moment to...

Pause.
Breathe.
Feel.

Now what?
We need an action to take to shift out of this energy.

Positive thinking can only do so much if your vibration doesn't match! If your vibration is low you will continue to attract more of the same.

So let's raise our frequency right now!

Try these 9 ways to raise your vibe now, without leaving the room (or putting on pants!)

Activate your Breath
Inhale deeply from your belly for 4 counts, exhale slowly with and 8 count (or less if you can't!). Repeat 5 times!

Activate your Body
Move! If you're sitting, stand up, gently move your body, sway, and shake your arms downwards, shaking out the low energy. Sync your movements to your breath. Close your eyes and see how it feels! Do it till you feel the shift!

Activate your Heart
Gratitude - you've only heard it a thousand times, say 3 things you're grateful for! It's way more effective if you create the feeling, too!
Heart Coherence - Breathe from your heart, go completely into your heart, put a small smile on your face and breathe in Love and exhale your favorite yuck word. Do this for a couple of minutes.

Activate your Chakras
See it and feel it: Visualize beautiful golden energy coming up from the earth through your root chakra and to the center of your body, all the way up your body and out the top of your head. Now allow it to cascade around your entire body. See yourself as the center of the sphere of glowing golden energy that is you.

Activate your Cells -
DRINK A FULL GLASS OF WATER! As you drink it say this: "I love you, water!" After you drink it, say this: "Thank you, water! Every cell in your body will thank you.

Activate your Space:
Look around you, is your space keeping you down? Clear the energy and declutter, organize just 1 small space around you. As you clear it, visualize releasing the low energies from the room and making space for higher vibes.

Activate your Voice
Speak. Sing. Hum. Ommmmmmmmmm. Make silly fart noises it if it gets your giggle

Activate your ears
Listen. Turn on the music that brings you joy, or helps you to feel something!

Active it all
Shift with the Sniff! Try out these essential oils to raise your frequency!

Go for Rose essential oil – 320 Mhz
Frankincense essential oil – 147 Mhz
Lavender essential oil – 118 Mhz
Sandalwood essential oil – 98 Mhz

Take just 1 of those 9 actions and shift your vibe higher so you can attract the energy that you desire!

As you shift into higher frequencies, and higher levels of consciousness, your old habits, and addictions, including negative thought patterns, will lose their hold and appeal.

You'll replace old habits with revitalizing and uplifting ones, and find it easier to live into your intentions of confidence, cheerfulness, brightness, courage, peace, joy, humor, playfulness, and fun!

Much Love,

Dena Gould

How to Manage Your Energy During the Holidays

Thu, 02 Nov 2023 10:41:31 GMT

We are doing the holidays differently this year!

During a recent workshop that I co-hosted, we found that many of us were experiencing the same theme of spreading ourselves too thin.

There were various reasons why we found ourselves making these choices.

It really boiled down to not feeling safe counting on others to help.

Some of us had done a lot of work on this, but more layers were revealed.

Over the years, I have gotten better at receiving and saying thank you, but my co-hosts, Soozie and Rebecca, had honored me in a way that I had not expected. I literally found myself in tears at their generosity and thoughtfulness.

And I found myself attempting to “control” the gift they gave me.

WHY ARE THERE ALWAYS MORE LAYERS?! I can ask for help with some things, but don’t want to be too much of a burden with other things.

The truth is most people want to help, we just need to get better at asking and not be attached to the outcome when we receive help.

With the holidays approaching, I figured this would be a good time to practice.

Do you find yourself spread too thin and not comfortable asking for help? Or maybe it’s just easier to do it yourself? If this is you , I am going to go ahead and suggest that you decide to do your life differently starting now. If you have gotten better over the years, I am going to suggest that you allow for some expansion of your receiving skills. You may be pleasantly surprised as I was.

I am also going to suggest that you allow yourself to focus on the best possible outcome, while coming from your heart center, so that you actually CREATE the experiences that you desire .

Proactive prevention is the best way to do this.

Here are 3 morning rituals that I recommend:

Ground your energy
Light up your chakras
Visualize your day as if it has already happened.

When I allow life to take over and fail to complete these three morning actions, I know within the first hour of my day. My drive to work will be a shit show. My communication with my family in the morning will be stressed and frustrated. I’ll run into obstacle after obstacle. When I find myself here, I take a deep breath and get heart-centered. I breathe with my heart to bring me back to center.

If this sounds familiar, I would love for you to join me in being more conscious of your thoughts and energy to prevent spreading yourself too thin this holiday season.

Let's start by thinking about these:

What do you want to experience? If we want fun and creativity, we also must remember to invite fun and creativity into our lives. Remember that our experiences begin with our thoughts, be conscious of your thoughts, then raise your vibration to match what you want to experience.

One thing that never works for me during the holidays is when I am too tightly attached to the outcome of an experience.

One thing that always works for me is to embrace an event or experience with curiosity and excitement, coming from innocence. And expecting fun? Definitely. Create space for more laughter and joy.

How to handle loss: Many of us miss our loved ones that are no longer with us. I always say honor that sadness, but just don't hang out there. Instead, do something to honor those who are no longer with us. Do something sacred to honor all of your emotions with the loss.

Know that this is going to take perseverance to create these new habits. Sometimes our bodies just want to take control based on past experiences. If you find yourself going into a default setting of suffering, I have included an Emotional Freedom Technique video to help your body process some of those heavy emotions.

I would also love to have you join me and my beautiful friend, Andrea, for our workshop Get Centered for the Holidays ! On November 16th, Andrea will be helping you embrace your creativity and joy, and I am excited to teach you techniques to not take on other people's energy, to stay grounded, and to feel supported in your day-to-day life. We will also create a plan of action tailored to your needs to help you when moments get challenging.

We'd love to have you join us, please register here, https://www.schedulicity.com/scheduling/LOM8G6/classes
or see full details below.

Let's take action this season to ground and center, ask for help, and receive with grace and love.

Much love,

Dena

What archetype are you hiding in?

Tue, 26 Sep 2023 06:39:13 GMT

Which role have you been playing?

Back in 2003, I learned about the idea of archetypes through Carolyn Myss's book, "Sacred Contracts." At that time, I began to explore the idea of archetypes and how they shape our understanding of ourselves and the world around us.

But soon focused my attention on the next shiny inspiration.

Recently, I had such a great ah-ha moment while listening to Robert Edward Grant as he discussed the villain archetype. Robert questioned whether there was even a need for anyone to play the role of the villain in his life any longer.

This just made me smile because I have been wondering if I needed to play the victim archetype any longer. Robert took this archetype idea to another level for me.

I’ve shared in the past that my journey with an autoimmune disease led me to confront my own deeply embedded pity party or victim archetype. I had been playing the role of the wounded healer for far too long.

However, 2023 has been a transformative year for me as I've developed a deeper understanding of my victim archetype and its presence in all of us.

In my work with couples and my own relationship with my husband, it has become evident that the desire to play the victim is a common thread. Imagine, though, what our romantic relationships would look like if none of us felt the need to be the victim?
This awareness has not only transformed my relationships with others but, more importantly, my relationship with myself.

None of us are immune to the victim archetype . It shows up in creative levels. And of course, it boils down to self-love. It always will!

If we no longer require the role of the victim to seek acceptance or love, we liberate ourselves completely. The truth emerges that, deep down, we all yearn for pure love and acceptance.

In fact, I believe that if we release the need to embody any specific archetype – whether it's the hero, the villain, or the victim – we can embrace a purer form of love and acceptance .

After all, we've all played these roles at different points in our lives . When we shed these labels, we become free to be our authentic selves and contribute from the heart to the collective consciousness.

This month let’s explore these three archetypes within ourselves and find ways to release the need for such roles so that we can shine our Light of pure Love, Acceptance, and Authenticity.

Grab your journal, or self-reflect on some of these prompts:

The Victim Archetype:

Empowerment Over Victimhood: The victim archetype often comes out of a sense of powerlessness. To move beyond it, we've got to cultivate empowerment by recognizing that we are the creators of reality.

What can I do now to feel good without needing someone else to suffer?

Self-Compassion : Growth involves developing self-compassion and realizing that acknowledging our vulnerabilities doesn't equate to weakness. We can learn to be kinder to ourselves.

Talk to your inner child in the ways you need to be spoken to.

The Hero Archetype:

Authenticity: Moving past the hero archetype requires embracing authenticity. We must let go of the need to always appear strong and perfect and allow ourselves to be genuine, flaws and all.

How would it feel to be courteous and allow myself to be seen fully?

Emotional Balance: Instead of constantly seeking external validation, we grow when we are able to find validation from within.

Make a list of things about you that you are proud of.

Allow your body and mind to feel valued.

The Villain Archetype:

Self-Reflection: To transcend the villain archetype, we must cultivate compassionate understanding. We can no longer blame anyone or anything for our unhappiness.

I wonder how I would experience life if I wasn’t allowed to blame anyone else for my unhappiness.

What would it feel like to feel the emotions I have spent my life avoiding?

Forgiveness: Releasing the need for a villain archetype requires forgiveness, not just of others but also of ourselves. We must let go of grudges and judgments to find inner peace.

In what ways can I take my power back from those who have hurt me?

When the old hurtful stories pop up in your mind, state over and over, “I Love me more.”

Choose to no longer live in the past.

Moving Beyond Archetypes in into your Authentic Self:

To really move beyond these archetypes, keep journaling and digging into these, and continue to focus on being self-aware and committed to doing the work to grow and be your favorite version of you!

Remember that we have the power to shape our responses to life's challenges.

When we feel safe to be who we are the rest of the world can do the same.

Let’s create a better reality.

You don't have to do it alone! If you are needing some help working through and releasing stuck emotions and limiting beliefs, and finding your Light �� Come in for a session with me�� or join some of my upcoming workshops .

Much Love,

Dena

What vibrates higher than Love?

Tue, 29 Aug 2023 13:56:50 GMT

My community bubble vibrates higher than Love!

My family moved in 2020 to be closer to where our children played competitive soccer. Prior to moving, we had no life because of the daily travel to soccer. Since the move, we have gotten our personal lives back.

Unfortunately, this neighborhood is not as diverse as I would like and at times it feels like a bubble. I had learned to steer clear of the social app Next Door because I was in awe of the things that were being discussed there.

Recently, I found myself in my own little bubble: A friend had recently taught me the differences about a specific product. It was interesting to me, and I found myself trying to share this with someone who was in a neighboring network.

When I tried to share the new wisdom, he appeared a bit defensive, and I observed his ego wall go up. I sincerely cannot say the last time I had a one-on-one experience like that. I felt I was sharing valuable information.

This made me aware of my own bubble. I happen to LOVE my cozy bubble filled with “my” humans who aren’t afraid to feel the feels! And there was my aha moment: The people in my neighborhood Love their bubble too.

Ignorance is truly bliss.

Studies have been done that support that you are only as good as the people you surround yourself with. That's what I want to address this month. I am constantly telling my people how grateful I am for them.

And this includes YOU. I know I've shared before that I had set a very specific intention to attract a clientele that truly wants to do the work and that is in resonance with the same intentions as me. Yes, I'm taking credit for manifesting you! I love and adore you so much. You amaze me with your ability to do the hard things, to just jump in with both feet and honor the suffering that had been locked away for so many years - not an easy feat. I adore the way you have opened to all of the possibilities. I watch you in awe as you begin to create your experiences and manifest your desires.

You challenge me and help me to become the best version of myself every day.

I feel blessed that my close girlfriends are comfortable to be 100% honest with me. They call me out on things when I'm not ready to step into it, but also inspire and cheer me on so that I feel supported and safe. We can truly have the hard conversations and clear the air and not take anything too personally.

They challenge me and help me become the best version of myself every day.

Close friends can be mirrors for one another and sometimes share the same mirror, which may cause a lot of giggles. Friends tend to focus on the good and help us shine even brighter.

Here are five ways they challenge us and help us be authentic:

Honest Conversations: True friends aren't afraid to have those heart-to-heart talks, even if they're difficult. They challenge us by asking the hard questions that encourage us to dig deep and confront our beliefs and actions.
Calling Out Inauthenticity: Close friends just know when we're not being true to ourselves. They'll kindly call us out, reminding us to stay genuine.
Holding Space: When we share our fears, dreams, and struggles with our friends, it paves the way for authenticity. True friends create a safe space where we can be open and vulnerable without judgment.
Supporting Our Passions: Authenticity blooms when we pursue our passions. Close friends are here to cheer and motivate us to follow our dreams simply because they are our dreams! They remind us of what truly matters to us, and to go for it.
Respecting Differences: Our friends don't always agree with us, and that's a good thing. Experiencing diverse perspectives challenges us and helps us grow and evolve as we navigate through different viewpoints. It gives us a safe place to learn to disagree respectfully and without conflict.

When friendships don’t feel authentic, or we don’t feel as connected or close as we would like, take a look back at these 5 ways, and see if there are any that you are not putting into your friendships. Pick a friendship you would like to feel more connected in and take a small step toward authenticity with that person.

When we show up for our friends, we give them permission to show up for us and vice versa. Authentic connections with friends align us with our journey to help us feel safe in our light and shine brighter.

There is NOTHING more fulfilling than being authentic. Authenticity vibrates at a higher frequency than Love!

Much Love,

Dena

Deleting these 2 words changed my life

Wed, 02 Aug 2023 22:39:25 GMT

What does your "I'm sorry" mean?

“I’m sorry”

Well, I didn’t delete them completely, but I shifted the way I use them and took my power back.

I didn’t realize the power of these 2 little words - hidden by their “nice and polite-ness” they were actually subconsciously keeping me small.

I recently had two people point out that I apologize too much. One was at our women's retreat that we had in April. I would do something silly and apologize. Zelda, a beautiful human and long-time client Loved me enough to call me on it. I, of course, thanked her and was more conscious, but didn't do the work to change my behavior. Then recently I had another friend point it out.

It had become a subconscious habit . I started to notice how often I was apologizing. It took me years to learn how to apologize, and now I had become one of those people that I would call out for apologizing too much��

Years ago, when I called my client/friend Julie out for over apologizing, she actually listened and did the work to change her behavior. She later shared that she learned to say, "Thank you for being patient with me while I work through this experience.

My "I'm sorry" wasn't because I felt I was really doing anything wrong, it was just my quick fix when I wasn't doing something right.

My I'm sorry" was me calling myself out for my imperfections before anyone else could. Boy, do I think I'm clever!

I have witnessed others say “I’m sorry” when it actually meant I’m feeling not enough. I need reassurance because I'm doubting myself. I’m afraid my ideas aren’t good enough, my feelings are too much, and my truth isn’t valuable enough.

While others' “I’m sorry” really meant I’m living small, I’m hiding who I am, and hiding from the conflict. I’m keeping safe.

Too many “I’m sorry” statements can be disconnecting, fearful, isolating and shrinking down.

Here’s how I fixed it.

I listened to Julie and I changed my words to “Thank you” instead. This felt connecting, loving, and powerful. This phrase was heart-expanding, not shrinking me down.

Here’s how it sounded:

“I’m sorry I can’t make it” became “Thank you for inviting me, I’m not available at that time.”

“I’m sorry I’m late” became “Thank you for your patience. Thank you for waiting for me.”

“I’m sorry that happened to you” became “Thank you for sharing that. That sounds so hard. I’m here for you, let’s talk?”

When we find ourselves over-apologizing, we can dig a little bit and find out what we are actually trying to communicate and what we are really experiencing inside. Then we can sort out if it is coming from our subconscious or our soul.

It’s a great place to quickly shift our energy and take back our power. We might find it's coming from fear, doubting ourselves, low confidence, worrying about what others think, attempting to control others and their journey, and generally hanging out in those lower vibrations.

Questions to ask to uncover the meaning behind your “I’m sorry”:

Am I trying to control everything, and when it doesn’t work out, I feel responsible, guilty, not good enough?
Am I feeling responsible for other people’s emotions, for their happiness and their journey?
Am I people-pleasing, and when something goes “wrong” I’m worried about how they will see me or that I’ll lose value in their eyes?

Here’s a quick exercise to raise your vibration.

Do this when you are feeling overly sorry and stuck in low energy: Raise Your Vibration Now

This month, notice your words! See if you are overusing a phrase, notice the feelings you are having when you say it, and see if you can unpack it, shift it, and begin to communicate more often from a place of Love.

Much Love,

Dena

P.S. With all this in mind, please do not forget the power of an authentic apology from the heart ❤

Understanding the Negativity Bias

Wed, 05 Jul 2023 06:56:46 GMT

Why our brain keeps us in the Pity Party!

I am recovered from the Pity Party.

I would attend that party daily, so breaking the habit of being the life of the pity party was not an easy task.

It took years because I got super creative with how I would allow it to show up. The poor me was so deeply embedded it went unnoticed for a long time but caused havoc with my immune system.

People would see me as the bright cheery woman, but it would get dark deep within. There is a reason that I am always preaching about not allowing your thoughts to cause your suffering – because I did, and I suffered.

Negative poor me thoughts will cloud everything. You feel like you don’t have control over your life and will find subtle ways to blame partners, work, body image, etc. for your unhappiness.

Now I tend to irritate the hell out of people with my positive outlook and “ YOU ARE THE CREATOR OF YOUR REALITY!” type statements. I am giggling as I write this because I know our souls do not get it until we get it!

This is human. We are literally wired for negativity. Our innate human being-ness wants us to only remember the bad stuff so we live in caution and survival mode.

We are simply flowing with how we are naturally wired to flow. Our positive experiences get overshadowed by the negative experiences, and we remember the B.S. more vividly than the delight. And that’s why we still feel crappy and frustrated, even after doing All The Things we think we need to do to heal.

Let's stop going with that flow!

Taking the time to acknowledge yourself in the present moment can help counterbalance this negativity bias. And understanding why we prioritize negative information and remember the crap more vividly takes away the fear and frustration when we find ourselves in this mode.

Here are some steps to take to help move past the frustration, rebalance with a junk load of positivity, and embrace and celebrate who we are right now.

Understand Our Negativity

Our human brains are wired to focus on negative experiences to keep us safe. We think this prepares us for the worse, but it actually attracts the experiences that we do not desire . It usually goes back to childhood when we learned how we had to prepare ourselves for safety with the subconscious agreements we create.

Once we realize that it's a shared human experience, not a personal flaw, we can redirect our energy towards what to do about it, which is...

Pay Attention!

To counteract our negativity bias, you have to pay attention to your thoughts. Some of you may become exhausted when you realize how many negative thoughts you have. Once you catch those negative thoughts “flip and turn them” into something positive. Be mindful of your negativity and practice loving kindness, gratitude, and grace.

Rebalance with Kindness and Gratitude

The more self-compassion and gratitude you add to your life, the more negativity you replace with Light. Talk to that sweet child within you and give yourself permission to make mistakes and have fits from time to time. Practice gratitude by consciously acknowledging the positive aspects of your life, no matter how small. These practices help rewire the brain and create experiences that you desire.

Embrace Imperfections and Learn from Mistakes

Imperfections and mistakes are part of being human. Embrace them as opportunities for growth and learning. While negative experiences tend to stick in our memory, it's important to acknowledge that they do not define our worth or potential. We don’t have to feed those stories. By accepting and learning from our mistakes, we can shift our focus towards growth and feeling better.

Celebrate the Good Stuff!

We simply need more joy! Make a big deal out of the good things that happen to you, all of them, no matter how small. Work hard to create the memories that you want to keep, or else your brain will fill it up with the BS and downers. Did you finish a project at work? Treat yourself to a mini-celebration. Did you choose the healthier food option at lunch? Take a deep breath, smile, and acknowledge it. Did you move your body in a gentle way today? Tell yourself well done, you did it!

By intentionally focusing on the positives and creating joy and buzz about them, you rewire your brain to feel good!

Instead of resisting how we are, let's put our energy to these steps so we can allow ourselves to be who we are, how we are, and shine a little brighter.

Summer of Self-Love?

Fri, 02 Jun 2023 18:32:12 GMT

How to create a summer of Self-Acknowledgement

Where are you right now?

When was the last time you acknowledged yourself? Let’s go ahead and plan that this month. Summer begins this month so let’s flow with this lighter energy.

Pause and acknowledge where you are now! Not where you think you should be or where you want to be, but pause and BE with where you are. Take it in and be kind to yourself.

What does a summer of self-acknowledgment look like? Try some of these ideas to soak up the goodness of who you are right now :

Create a Self-Acknowledgment Ritual

We all need a proper “Me Day”! Start by picking a special day or time each month to honor and celebrate you.

Treat it like a birthday and write it in your planner (pause reading this email and do this now!).
Every “Me Day” create a simple, cozy sacred space, light a candle, use some favorite scents, and take a few deep breaths.
Then think about all the positive things you've accomplished and the challenges you've overcome recently, no matter how small.
Write them down in a journal or a special poster or share them out loud to your mirror or even share with a trusted friend who gets you.
End with a statement of joyful acknowledgment, “Dena, you’re a f&*ing powerhouse, and you’re doing a great job.”

Mindful Moments of Bliss

Sprinkle little moments of magic throughout your day that raise your frequency.

What makes you shine, and brings a lightness to your being? Is it music? Or nature? A walk around the block? A big whiff of rose essential oil? Even just a quick moment of heart coherence between tasks.
Create magic moments, hourly if possible, throughout the day. As you do, take a minute to tune in to the present moment. Notice how you're feeling, what thoughts are dancing through your mind, and how your body feels.
Take in the beauty of what you have created with this magic moment, and let gratitude fill your heart. You deserve this blissful buzz!

Clear emotional blocks around self-love

Do this Tapping routine as often as needed to remove blocks around self-love, and love, honor, and accept your authentic self as you are.

Reflect and Shine

Make time for soul-searching and reflection.

Find a comfy corner where you can journal, meditate, or simply daydream about your journey.
Ask yourself: What are you most proud of? What challenges have you conquered like a boss? How have you grown emotionally and spiritually?
Load on the compliments like you would to a child learning to walk, and notice what it feels like in your body to talk this way to yourself!

Gratitude Party, Just for You

It’s your turn to be the center of appreciation.

Every day, jot down or say out loud three things you appreciate about yourself.
It can be your unique qualities, your resilience to get you here, or the small acts of kindness you show to others.
Let that feeling of gratitude warm you and wash over you as you recognize the lovely, kind, awesome, gentle, badass human you are.

Connect and Share Your Journey

I love to remind people of this because it’s so healing, and we tend to shy away from connection when we think we are ‘not our best.’ You don't have to go it alone!

Connect with a supportive community, find a person who gets you or someone who you have connected comfortably with in the past.
Share your journey, experiences, and wins with these like-hearted souls who understand the importance of self-acknowledgment.
Let their guidance, encouragement, and good vibes lift you up. Together, you'll create a space for growth and create deeper connections on this incredible path.

Let’s glow this summer, let's make it a season of celebration and honor, accept, and Love you exactly as you are. Embrace where you are right now, without any judgment or comparisons. Create your ritual, delight in daily magic moments, reflect on your journey with a smile, shower yourself with gratitude, and connect with your awesome people.

You are so powerful.

Much Love,

Dena Gould

Design Your Life

Thu, 27 Apr 2023 15:46:13 GMT

Stop living by default, start living by design

Stop living by default. Start living by design.

Every decision puts you in a new frequency and creates your life experience. When we can create and decide from a higher, more loving frequency, we make decisions that are safe and support the experiences we desire. Every day we have the option to become the person we want to be and not continue to live from our past, or from an imagined fearful future.

When we begin our day with intention , it helps us to stay focused on how we want to experience our daily events. When I send the intention to come from Love and Faith, I find that I am more calm and centered when I make decisions and less reactive.

This gives me the power instead of giving life's circumstances the power.

If I still find that I'm triggered in the day, I usually remember to reflect instead of going off into a poor me or an anger hole. I am often able to remember my intention and I reflect on why I may have been triggered. With this awareness, I can choose to do the work to clear the trigger.

In the past, the trigger would give me permission to do something that doesn't feel good to my body, mind, or soul.

Doing the proactive, preventive work stops that habit of falling into default mode and giving away our power, and allowing triggers to negatively influence our actions.

Here are my 6 tips to stop living by default, turn on your power, and begin your day in creator mode:

Start every day by setting intentions. Just like brushing your teeth, make this another morning habit. Set doable intentions that support how you want to feel throughout the day.
Visualize It - Visualize your desired outcome. See and feel yourself experiencing exactly what you want to experience. It may be tempting to skip this step, but visualizing is an ACTION, and creates the feelings in your body as if it were happening. This puts you in the frequency of your desires.
Intentionally raise your frequency. By raising your frequency, you will attract experiences that support how you truly want to feel. If you are vibing high, it is much easier to come from your heart and trust your intuition throughout the day. ( read more tips here )
Get present - get present and stay present more often during your day. Your intention will fade if you allow your mind to fill up with distractions or stories that do not support how you want to feel. When you catch yourself not being present, take a conscious breath and see the energy of your heart chakra spin to “come back to center.” Keep this practice easy.
Do your self-care! Listen to an inspiring or motivating podcast or book. Move, meditate, write, bust out your essential oils, whatever it is that helps you get quiet, go within and connect with yourself.
Connect and cultivate your connections. Intentions are strengthened by connection. Connect or reach out to your people during the day to help keep your frequency high. If it is not easy to connect or reach out to the actual person, channel their Love, look at pictures/emails/notes from that person, or close your eyes and relive a wonderful memory you have with them.

When we begin our day like this we can create and decide from a higher, more loving frequency, so we are better able to address and clear the triggers.

Here a re five ways to defuse and unpack triggers that may still come up during the day:

Breathe to create the pause – Breathing is always your best tool when you feel triggered, take a deep breath and pause before responding. This will help you to stop the initial impact of the trigger, creating that powerful pause where you get time to choose how to respond from a more grounded and centered place.
Identify the trigger - try to identify the specific event or situation that triggered you. Understanding your triggers can help you avoid similar situations in the future. It might sound like: “So and so did this and I felt angry. Why did I get angry? The anger is covering up that I feel... insecure and worry what they think about me. That must have come from xx story in my past, when I felt....”
Practice self-compassion - be kind and compassionate to yourself when you feel triggered. Remember that it is okay to feel emotions, and it is essential to accept and honor all feelings. Allow them to move through the body without the need to feed them.
Challenge negative thoughts - when triggered, our thoughts can be negative and self-critical. Challenge these thoughts and reframe them into more positive and empowering ones.
Reach out for help – if you're struggling with a trigger, reach out to those loved ones that can listen, an online chat group, a therapist, etc. You do not have to do this alone!

Sometimes we can’t get out of default mode and live powerfully because we have lost clarity. We are disconnected from our authentic selves, and unclear of who we are, what we value, and why we are here. It might be time to revisit yourself, sit down with your journal, and get clear on who you are, what lights you up, and what you are here for! Read more on getting clear here .

Designing your life is easier with some answers to these:

What are my core values, and how can I align them with my daily life and choices?
What lights me up? What brings me joy, fulfillment, and purpose? How can I prioritize these things in my life?
If I had no external limitations, what would I do with my life, and how can I take small steps toward that vision?
What is holding me back from living this life I truly desire? How can I take action, a small step to overcome these obstacles to create a life that feels authentic and meaningful to me?

You're not stuck in your circumstances. You are the creator of your experience, and you can change it at any time.

Please enjoy this Podcast with Shahroo Izadi and check out her book, “The Kindness Method” for more inspiration.

Much Love,

Dena

The Ripple Effect

Mon, 27 Mar 2023 16:19:36 GMT

How do you want to show up in this lifetime?

When I was in my late 20s, I worked for our local phone company, US West, in the wireless division. Joe Nacchio, the CEO of Qwest performed what I called a hostile takeover of the company that I dearly loved.

Long story short, he was convicted of insider trading while leading the company. Many of my colleagues lost their jobs to his greed and others lost their retirement savings as stocks plummeted.

To relieve myself of the heartbreak and anger, I remember sitting at my cubicle thinking that he is going to have to feel ALL the hurt he caused all of these individuals when he died. Sadly, I got pleasure in knowing he was going to experience all the suffering that he caused so many to experience in his Life Review.

I am not sure where I learned about the “Life Review”, but it resonated with me. For those of you who are not familiar with this term, it is my understanding that we will feel and experience all of the emotions, good and challenging, that we have caused others to feel and experience at the end of our lives.

This is not done as a heavy event but more of an understanding and awareness for our spiritual growth. We are Loved and accepted unconditionally. We are supported in this process.

I don’t want to admit it, but I had that thought many times in my life about situations that were dark and ugly to me. I would literally think, oh, they’re going to have to feel that in their life review. It had been my “Ha! You jerk,” moment that I am not so proud of, but it kept me from thinking vengeful thoughts and sending more of that out into the world.

As I obtain more wisdom, I am better able to see the “ugliness” as an experience and not give it too much power. This is after my little fits and venting sessions with friends, but I do my best not to spew the “uglies” back at the person or situation anymore. I now get still and go into my heart and focus on the best possible outcome to shift my experience.

I am sharing a podcast this month and I highly recommend every single one of you listen to it. It’s only about 20 minutes and is about near-death experiences, specifically with the Life Review. Some of them are warm and fuzzy, and some of them are real and hard.

While I was listening to the warm and fuzzy ones I felt a full heart and thought of moments when I was genuinely kind. While I was listening to the more difficult ones I wanted to say, “oh those people,” but the truth is we all have experiences that we’re not proud of. We have all made decisions out of fear that were not pretty and had a negative ripple effect, but it doesn’t mean we have to continue in that manner.

For experiences where I was not my best, and caused others to feel pain or suffer, I acknowledge the effect I have had on others, I forgive myself for actions that I took that did not reflect my best self, and I focus on creating more Love.

WE ARE ALL ONE.

We are all connected and to watch and feel what we do to one another because of fear is interesting, to say the least, but I think this was a great reminder for me. It reminds us that we are here to have the human experience but more importantly, we are here to create, to expand. and to Love. We are here to Love unconditionally . It is the ultimate goal in my mind.

Let's be the Love! Let's have a Loving ripple effect on those around us.

Please take a moment and Listen to this podcast by NDEPodcast.org , I think this will help you to really begin to focus on your energy. Think about the ripple effects that you're putting out there into the world. We see the effect we have on others, we forgive ourselves for causing pain, and we focus on creating more Love.

Let’s get clear about what really matters and how we want to show up this lifetime.

Much Love,

Dena Gould

What are you attracting?

Tue, 21 Feb 2023 00:33:16 GMT

When it feels to painful to be ourselves...

Is this normal?

My husband was shaking his head back and forth after reading a social media post and he asked, “Why can’t people just be kind? Why do they have to act like that?”

We know that the answer is fear , but what can we do about it? Most of us are guilty of being mean from time to time and it’s because we are afraid of feeling something that is uncomfortable.

Renowned author and physician Gabor Maté would suggest that because of our experiences, specifically in childhood, it's too painful to be ourselves.

This thought just pulls at my heartstrings. However, this is a reality for so many of us. Fear is normal, but it does not have to define us for our entire existence.

Let's continue to self-reflect, heal, and be better. As a human still working on being "normal", here are some of my suggestions:

Focus on how you want to feel and do your very best to stay in that feeling for as long as you possibly can. Even play games with yourself, and say, “I have felt good for an hour, I'm going to see if I can feel good for another hour,” and continue with this practice.

Do an Authenticity audit: When we are disconnected from our authentic selves, we experience emotional and physical suffering. Where in your life are you not connected to and expressing your authentic self? Where do you feel like you have to "dress up" or present yourself in a way that doesn't feel natural or comfortable? Where does it feel too painful to be yourself?

Continue to work on yourself and clear those subconscious stories and trauma. It is the stuck energy within us that has the frequency that tends to attract those instances that we don't want to experience. When we are no longer in fear of those experiences, we no longer attract them.

Be conscious of where you spend your time and energy. I stopped staying up on the news a long time ago, but after many events over the past few years, I began to follow groups on social media, so I could be “in the know”.

I recently began to unfollow more and more of them because they would put me in a state of fear. I found throughout the day, I would have visions of what they shared and it would affect my mood.

I decided that I do not need to be “in that know” anymore. Be mindful of your inputs, and unfollow your former spiritual inspirations if they choose to go down a rabbit hole of fear.

If I cannot actively control it, I am not spending my energy on it.

As you well know, I love to share wisdom and transformative resources with you and I highly recommend watching Gabor Maté's Healing Trauma in a Toxic Culture - with Dr. Gabor Maté | Know Thyself LIVE Podcast EP 33 here . Or listen on Spotify here .

Please also get your hands on a copy of his latest book, The Myth of Normal. I believe this should be required reading for every human.

You hear me say focus on the best possible outcome often and it is so that you create the experiences you do desire instead of focusing on the worst possible outcome which attracts those experiences that you do not desire.

Much Love,

Dena Gould

What finally burst my bubble!

Sun, 29 Jan 2023 05:28:19 GMT

Most people never knew I was angry...

It is definitely challenging being a human and having triggers and trauma and always staying in the positive.

But the more you work on yourself, the more you clear out the fear, and the more you retrain your brain and body, the better life becomes.

I am proof of this.

I had the anger bubble for a lot of my early life and I did not know why I could not get rid of it.

I was so angry!

Isn't that surprising!? Most people never knew of my anger, I hid it so well. Of course, only those close to me would see the real me. Isn’t it funny we spend all that time hiding from the world when the world needs us to be who we are?

I was SO angry.

I had to swallow so much pain, so many of my words, so many of my emotions so that the rest of the world could be comfortable.

That's what I told myself as that young child. But over time I realized that we were never meant to push down the emotions. The emotions are meant to be honored.

I didn't know what was wrong with me because I couldn't be genuinely happy. I know that this anger contributed to my autoimmune disease.

But over time, the more I practiced feeling how I wanted to feel while breathing into and allowing my body to experience the anger, I was able to then experience the frustration, disappointment and sadness.

It became less scary and the better I felt.

I recently had an experience that brought up deep anger. I hadn't felt it that deep for at least 10 years! My immediate response was to resist it and get upset at it showing up.

Thankfully, listening to "Living Untethered" for the second time reminded me that it was just my samskaras - those mental impressions, recollections, or psychological imprints that I had not allowed myself to process. I also like to refer to it as our bullshit stories.

Once Michael Singer refreshed my memory, I was able to change my perspective and the experience became a gift. It is an opportunity for me to be present with and process those samskaras.

We must continue to be conscious, we must continue to release the need to control, and we must continue to go within and do the work needed to create the experience we desire

I observe so many people trying to control their outer world to feel safe.

Could you imagine how much better life would be if we focused all that energy on ourselves and did the inner work?

When we do the inner work, we fear less about the outer world.

We fear less about what we cannot control.

Take these two action steps with me this month! And see if we can get some of that fear to clear and anger to release in a safe way.

Dig in
Think about how you handle anger in your life. Do you use an addiction to escape? Do you take it out on others? Do you avoid or stuff it down? Consider listening to your anger to find out why it is there. Journal and have a dialog with it. This inner work is empowering and does not need to be feared.

Take Action
This month, I would love it if every morning and evening, you look at yourself in the mirror and state out loud,

"I am safe to honor all of my emotions.

I am proud of myself for this awareness.

I allow them to flow and I let them go.

I will not continue to feed what does not feel good, but I will not run from those feelings either.

I am safe. I am safe. I am safe.

I am a creator in the present moment."

And from time to time throw in, "It's not my journey" throughout the day when you find yourself attempting to control others.

If you need some help with this, jump on my schedule or waitlist, and let’s clear out some trauma. The Brain Synchronization Therapy has been very successful with my clients in effectively clearing out negative subconscious beliefs.

Or better yet, if you want to see how much you can clear in a long weekend with like-minded women, please join us for Sol Rejuvenation in April. Sorry fella’s, however, if you are looking for a retreat of your own, please check out the “ Angry Therapist . ” He has a men’s retreat and some great books. I Love his work.

Let's spend this month focusing all that energy within, and see how good we can allow ourselves to feel!

Much Love,

Dena Gould

Are you existing or creating?

Wed, 28 Dec 2022 04:36:25 GMT

Here's your intention word for the new year!

Just so you know, I am assigning you an intention word this year!
(I know, the audacity!)

Why?

I watch people going through life without intention and expecting life to be hard. Without intentions, you are existing and not creating.

So what's the intention word? Storytime first!

I Love when people share a dilemma and I get to offer my insight. I especially enjoy when my response puts a puzzled look on their face and they say, you made that so easy!

This ability has taken me years. Presence is the key to living in ease.

Being present and slowing down allows us to come from our center, our heart, and not from fear and obligation. I know that I say this a lot, but it keeps us from making regrettable decisions, so we are not cleaning up messes later. It allows us to act instead of react, even when the action we need to take is "to wait." It has certainly been challenging for my Aries energy to wait 24 hours if needed before I respond. But I am always grateful when I do!

Being present doesn't mean life has to happen in slow motion. Presence gives clarity and allows us to focus on what is important. I put a lot on my plate, so I like that I can move quickly once I know my priorities. It helps me not overthink or over-complicate. It helps me to not waste energy on the what-ifs. This is my youngest daughter's favorite pastime. "But Mom, what if..." and she proceeds to list the worst possible outcomes. This is your reminder:

Be conscious of all the possibilities, but don't take too many steps into that hole. It creates fear in your frequency. The goal of "humaning" is to keep the frequency positive, so that you attract more of what you want.

Being present allows us to honor our experience in real-time, instead of stuffing it away for later complications. As humans, we experience challenges and trauma. LIFE IS AN EXPERIENCE and the experience is processed through ALL of our emotions. When we don’t honor the experience, it stays in our body to show up later as another experience. Sometimes it becomes stuck energy, which is much more difficult to process if it is allowed to turn into an illness.

I have been surprised at how my body has processed emotions this past year. I even had the audacity to be disappointed that things affected me more heavily than expected. Thankfully I sat in it. I breathed with it. I journaled and performed *EFT and *BST as needed. I meditated on the emotions, but I never fed them for too long. I stayed focused on my desires. This practice moves the experience and energy. It allows us to create the life we desire, but honoring us, and keeping focused on our desires.

I watch people going through life without intention and expecting life to be hard. Without intentions, you are existing and not creating.

So I am assigning you an intention word for the month of January and that word is easy. I have watched a lot of people make things so unnecessarily difficult and I believe life is not supposed to be as difficult as we make it. The subconscious loves to play games with our mind and ego, but I want to challenge you to come from your heart this month and do your best to allow it to be easy.

We are allowing 2023 to be Easy.

Here are some things to consider when you are creating powerful, doable intentions around that:

Can I change it? If you can’t change it, don't give it power. Focus on what you can change.
How can I make this EASY!? Ask, what is the easiest and most effective way to accomplish my desires? – No one is handing out gold stickers for you complicating things.
Don't overthink. Be present and make a decision. If you find that decision doesn't work, Make a new decision. No need to beat up on yourself or go into regret. Learn from the experience and move on.
Don’t feed the stories. When you catch yourself in a feel-bad story, practice self-compassion and change the stories that you are telling yourself and believing.
Be present and get clear on how you want to experience this year. What is the easiest first action step you can take?

Then create your doable intentions:

✨Create a moment of heart-centered peace for yourself:

1) Breathe 2) Visualize Love 3) Feel Love

✨Use your imagination and decide how you want to experience life and put your energy towards that.

✨Create a small doable intention, with simple actions you can take daily.

Much Love,

Dena

Time for 333

Tue, 29 Nov 2022 06:32:15 GMT

Reflect, Respect, and Release for 2023

We have accomplished so much this past year, but I know that we forget to honor it.

We have set better boundaries. We have accomplished many goals small and big. I want you to take this in. I want you to take action right now to honor yourself, and get clear about a few intentions for next year.

I would Love for you to journal about these things and reflect a bit, but if you just don’t have the capacity, please pause now, and take a moment to reflect in your mind.

What are 3 things that you will leave in this year?

Allow these to be thoughts, old habits, relationships, or even that version of yourself that you’re done playing. When you find yourself behaving in the old manner, state, “no more of 'this behavior'” and take physical action to create a different experience.

Here are 5 Examples:

That 23-year expired relationship with so and so. He/she/they crossed too many boundaries.
The need to always be right or liked.
The attachment to ...
Perfection
Pity parties

What are 3 things that you need to honor from this year?

This may be challenging for some because we will think, “I could have done better.” STOP THAT!! Honor what you have done! Take a breath and allow it to feel good!

Here are 5 Examples:

I am so proud of myself for consciously being aware of my negative thoughts.
I took small steps to change that unhealthy behavior and it feels so good.
I have consciously come from my heart more moments this past year than any other time in my adult life!
I got clear on my worth and taught so-and-so how I want to be treated now.
I allowed myself to change my mind without guilt.

What are 3 doable intentions for next year?

No extreme goals here. Think of actions daily actions that will become a doable habit.

Here are 5 Examples:

Visualize my day before I get out of bed and focus on the best possible outcome.
Each night I will honor what I am proud of and I will set intentions for the next day.
I will be more present and set limits on my social media time.
I will drink 16 oz of water as soon as I wake up
I will write a thank you card to a new person each week

Please notice how all these examples support feeling good. Let’s focus on what we are proud of and what we are looking forward to creating.

If we desire something different, we must put our energy towards that.

As we know, we can’t change the past. We can be observers of our bad experiences, but we don’t have to keep reliving the drama. Take small steps to create new “feel good” experiences instead.

Each day, pause to reflect on all of the feel-good moments.

Much Love and keep shining,

Dena Gould

The Mother Issue

Tue, 25 Oct 2022 13:23:30 GMT

A recent theme among my clients...

One of the biggest themes among my clients recently has been maternal clearing.

Many of my regular clients that I have been working with for years experienced deep maternal frustration this past month. Their mothers lacked the empathy and presence that was needed when they were young children. Many mothers were just trying to survive and did not have the luxury of honoring their emotions. They were never taught how to feel and express sadness, hopelessness, fear, etc.

They were only taught to push it down.

As a GenX, I can humbly share that I was frustrated with my young co-workers complaining about inappropriate behavior from men. My upbringing taught me that it was accepted and you just did what you had to do:

You pushed it down.

Well, the younger generations taught me that uh, NO YOU DON’T!!! Yeah, apparently you don’t have to endure sexual harassment to keep your job. What a concept!

The wisdom, fire, and emotions that come with each new generation are clearing and shifting the generational trauma.

I see that we are getting better with each generation because more and more of us are consistently taking the time to self-reflect.

Many of us now know that emotions are stored in the body until they are honored and released. The more we honor, the more we feel safe in our vulnerability because we know the power of it.

Many of us are clear that our frustration with our parents' “lack of” or “inability to” doesn’t change them.

However, we are beginning to shift the focus and see that our willingness to self-reflect, and our desire to be present, and our intention to be loving changes us.

We are learning better boundaries.

We are allowing ourselves to be still with the experience.

We are experiencing the energy moving again. It’s pushing us to step into more.

When challenges with mamas, or other boundary-testing experiences, come up, it really helps to have a clear example of what to say or just mentally refer to, to feel clear, safe, and empowered:

~Mom, I know that my choices are not what you would choose, but please understand that what you said hurts my feelings.

~Mom, I know my parenting style is different than yours. I see that my children's strong emotions make you uncomfortable, but please do not shame me or them. I want them to honor their feelings.

~Hey Self, I see you trying to do it all again. Remember that we decided if we began to feel overwhelmed, we would give ourself permission to be still.

~Hey Self, I see you changed your mind but are too scared to say something. It’s OK to say, “No, thank you. I changed my mind.”

~Mama, I am so sorry that I did not understand what you experienced until my own experience. I am so sorry that I lacked the empathy that you needed at the time.

Every time that we let people know what isn’t working, without feeling bad about it, we are empowered by the clarity and by our ability to communicate our needs.

Every time that we honor our boundaries, we are no longer giving energy to the things that don’t feed our soul, to the relationships that don’t expand our being.

Much Love and keep shining,

Dena Gould

So, why does she hug all those strangers?!

Mon, 26 Sep 2022 04:22:28 GMT

Moments Matter. Human Connection Matters.

I had planned it down to the minute: I had to be out of the house the next morning before 6 AM to catch a flight with my daughter's soccer team. I had volunteered to be a chaperone for the weekend. Therefore, I had chosen to arrive at the event center early to grab a good parking spot for an easy escape. Tonight, we would be celebrating Shana’s 50th birthday with dinner and a play.

I hadn't planned it down to the Moment.

As I was walking through the performance complex, I returned a call to one of my client's Loved ones. She shared that my client had unexpectedly passed away. I had just exchanged texts with him a few days earlier. I adored this courageous man.

My heart cracked.

We cried together, and I did a lot of breathing.

Since I arrived about 30 minutes early to the restaurant, I decided a beer made sense for me in that moment. I sat at the bar to process it and have a little pity party. The gentleman next to me was getting ready to leave. He was extremely friendly and filled with good energy. I thought to myself, “I Love humans.” The next gentleman that sat next to me was also kind. He was a pilot and his wife had passed away a few years ago. We shared good conversation about good humans.

I finished my beer and got up to greet my girlfriends that just came in the door. Mark, the pilot, reached his hand out. I smiled and asked if I could give him a hug. He smiled and said, "Of course."

My friends always joke with me about all the “strangers” that I hug. I don’t remember when it became comfortable for me to begin to hug strangers. It feels that it has been my normal for most of my life, but that evening I knew I needed it. Death has a way of reminding us of what is important.

Hugs are important. Human connection is important.

Today I reread the last text exchange that I had with my client that passed. I could still feel his energy. The Love that came from him always put a smile on my face and sealed a crack. He actively chose to be heart-centered. He had shared that in the past he would go down rabbit holes and would be angry at life. Thankfully, over the years, he realized it didn’t feel good and he began to change his thoughts and surroundings. I still remember the first session with him. He eluded Love!

Love is important. Human connection is important.

He truly was an example of what it means to be human. He was smart enough to know that old trauma was still in his body and that is why we were working together regularly. He did his best to focus on the positive. He honored the “contrast” of life and consistently took action to create the life that he desired. We often focused on the accomplishments and there were so many.

Honoring the good is important. Human connection is important.

I only intended to dedicate this newsletter to him. However, when I sat down to write, I went back to the moment, and re-experienced the moment, and decided that I wanted to share the human experience. And how beautiful it is.

We must keep living even when life shows up in slow motion as we process our loss.

I found myself shaking my head at him in disappointment because I was not ready for him to move on, but I also found myself taking the time to see the Light in each moment and smile between subtle tears.

Honoring grief is important. Human connection is important.

Don’t think for a moment that I take what I do for granted. The Love that we share together is what keeps me in the moment with each of you. That energy exchange is LOVE!! As you walk out the door of my office and I tell you I Love you and you say it back to me, trickles of sparkling Light fill my soul.

I cannot begin to express the gratitude that I have for you. I have so many quiet moments with so many of you that will forever be within my Being.

Moments Matter. Human connection matters.

There is a vivid memory of a client that I had worked with for a few years who never fully fell into a hug exchange with me. Then one day, she fully fell in. And held the hug longer than expected. The thought of this moment still brings tears to my eyes. My job is to hold a very safe space for you and I take that seriously. However, don’t think for a minute that after you leave, there aren’t times that I don’t lose my shit and burst into tears.

Thank you for sharing your Light.

Much Love,

Dena

You know what I hate about those Facebook couples?...!

Mon, 29 Aug 2022 08:12:09 GMT

6 Tips for a Loving Relationship

As we know, romantic relationships are not always easy. The pictures that you see of me and my husband on Facebook are usually during a happy moment or we are just smiling for the picture. There has been a lot of hard work behind the scenes over the years. These are 6 tips that have helped us.

1.Be a team.

It’s not a competition. Wishing failure on your partner is not heart connecting. My husband, Scott would always say, “I won.” Those two words would grab hold of my third chakra, shake it up and set it on fire. Yes, just his competitive nature, but a true trigger for me.

When we can see one another as teammates then we tend to work together as such. When one of us has had a challenging day, the other will step up with kids, chores or just allowing space for quietness. When you know your partner has your back, you feel safe to have your vulnerable moments.

2. No Shaming!

Once I got in good with Brene Brown and learned all about shame, I realized that Scott and I were experts at shaming one another. Being the brilliant person that I am, I decided to bite my tongue for a good two weeks. Now that I look back, I just laugh, but it was seriously hard to not shame my husband when I was hurt.

Now, I didn’t choose to hold back and stop shaming him because it was the right thing to do. I did it so I could say, “that really hurt. Did you mean to shame me? Please don’t shame me.” It is true. Hurt people will hurt people because have not learned to sit in our hurt-ness.

This was a big lesson for the both of us. We still jokingly say, “please don’t shame me” from time to time, but now it gives us the giggles and the energy always lightens up right away.

3.No one needs to be wrong.

This was all my lesson. My left brain has kept me safe. I can always see the big picture and my need to control it all makes my way the only way. After years of dealing with my logic, my fed-up husband said, “just because you don’t agree with me doesn’t make me wrong.” My thought at the time, uh yeah it does! I am logical and have experience, knowledge – etc. Then he said it again in a different manner.

Just because I do it differently, doesn’t make me wrong.

This is where I got quiet. I just stood there and allowed the “ewws” to fill my body. It was hard to not add to the negative self-talk. I apologized and I do my best to catch myself when I think, he doesn’t know… Because he does. He just does it differently than I do.

4.Speak to your partner in their Love language.

You should see the contortions on some of my client’s faces when I suggest that they speak to their partner in their
love language. Our partner’s Love language can be very different from our own, but sometimes it’s just not about us. Sometimes we need to do things for our partners from our heart to their heart so that we can cultivate our Love.

5.Focus on what you enjoy about your partner.

When we focus on the good, that is what we see! And when we see the good, our hearts get fed. This does not necessarily mean that we become blind or naive. We can still have the hard conversations as needed. When we come from a place of Love and connection, as opposed to anger and fear, we hear one another better. We respect one another better.

Especially when we are in long-term relationships, we tend to take the good for granted. Let’s come back to focusing on what we Love about our partner.

6.Your partner is NOT responsible for your happiness.

I am sure I have written about this before. THIS TIP is the most powerful. Your partner is not responsible for your happiness! He/she/they cannot think your thoughts or act on your behalf. Only you can do that!

When you think, “if my partner would just do this or that, then I could be happy,” YOU are the cause of your suffering. Stop giving your happiness power away! Instead, please come from your heart and turn that thought into “what can I do in this moment to feel joy?”

These 6 insights are so powerful in all our relationships (friends & family too!) and I hope you find them helpful to bring Love back to the center, and create more of it!

I'm also pleased to announce we have opened registration for our transformational Women's Retreat in Colorado. Details are here , and please share with the beloved Women in your lives!

Much Love,

Dena

Why You Are Not Healing!

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Tue, 26 Jul 2022 13:48:29 GMT

We are not meant to do this alone...

I have read and listened to so many “better yourself” books that sometimes when I start a new one I roll my eyes a little bit (oops ) and think, I already know this crap, I wish I would’ve written a book�� LOL! I always want to be better for myself and for you, so unless it’s a horrible book I usually try to finish it.

The latest book that I read was "The Book of Forgiving" by Desmond Tutu and Mpho Tutu. I was reading it, understanding the concept, knowing we have to release the energy blah blah blah...

But then…

…he begins to discuss how we need to revisit the experience and allow someone to be a witness to it to allow ourselves to feel and honor the emotions at the time so we’re not carrying the burden on our own.

I have done a lot of this work and it is beyond humbling.

A couple of weeks ago I went to my family reunion on my paternal side. Many of you know I have not had a relationship with my father since I was pregnant with my now 12-year-old daughter. The last time I saw him was about 10 years ago at my grandmother's funeral.

I found out two days before the reunion that he would be attending. Yes, I started briefly thinking about what could happen and I quickly got those stories out of my head. I did not create anything new. Look at me! Following my own advice.

I am happy to announce that I had zero charge in my body when I saw him. It was truly validating. On the second day, I even hugged him and told him I loved him. No expectations of any outcome just feeling very proud of myself for doing the work and receiving confirmation that I did what I needed to do.

I have come to realize that it’s just not the energy work or the emotional freedom technique (EFT), but it is also being a witness to your experience. So many of you have shared stories with me that you have not shared with anyone! I feel so honored and blessed to hold that safe space for you.

I want to remind others that we are not meant to carry those burdens alone.

We’re not meant to carry those secrets forever. Our experiences matter!

When we allow ourselves to be honest and share our stories and our experiences no matter how horrific or embarrassing, we free ourselves.

Step by step, if you’re not able to do that quite yet, at least get it down on paper. Begin to write about those experiences and allow your body to release the emotions that are still there. The book suggests that you write a letter to the person who caused the suffering even if you never intend to send it.

We cannot hold the experiences hostage and expect to feel free.

Those people or those experiences still have the power. We have to honor the experience and take our power back.

As you write, let the feelings rise, breathe through it, and let it dissipate.

Say to yourself:

“I accept this experience and I accept this hurt, I know that acceptance is vital to healing.

I honor the feelings and honor the meaning in my suffering: All the things that happened to me that I had no control over taught me how/what I didn't want to be. And all the mistakes I made taught me the ways that didn't work.

I refuse to allow my past to create me now.

I start fresh from this moment, and re-create myself as I am, without the stories.”

Let the feelings rise, breathe through it, and let it dissipate.

Because it doesn’t feel great to feel and honor these emotions, healing may feel like stepping backward. It’s not regression! It’s release. Sometimes, you must “feel the crap” to feel better. It’s so worth it.

I love and honor you for showing up and doing the work because you want to live a life that feels good.

Much Love!

Dena

The Questions Wise People Ask

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Tue, 28 Jun 2022 10:37:47 GMT

Are You Enjoying Your Life?

In Loving Memory of Mervin, thank you for your wisdom.

“Are you enjoying your life?”

I love this question. It was asked across the meal table during our Easter Celebration from, an 84-year-old Mervin to a soon-to-be 80-year-old.

I thought about this for myself and my answer is, YES!! Yes, I am.

However, it’s only because I do the work. Every damn day I do the work and I create a better reality. I have had my moments in the fear and negative stories, but I catch it as quickly as I can. I set the boundaries for me.

My own experience has taught me that if you are going down rabbit holes and focusing on events that you personally cannot change, you’re not enjoying your life.

If you’re waiting for someone to come save you, you are not enjoying your life.

If you are comparing yourself and your experiences, you are not enjoying your life.

If you are living in the past or think you should be further along, you are not enjoying your life.

If you practice negative self-talk, you are not enjoying your life.

We must be proactive . We must create the experiences that we desire. I’m going to say this in every possible creative way I can.

About a month ago I woke up not especially excited to “do life” that day. I dislike that feeling. Trying to understand where it came from wasn’t going to change the feeling. Past experiences have taught me that I wasn’t being proactive.

When this happens, one of my first go-to methods is usually to do the gratitude list in my head to shift my perception, but on this day, I found myself setting goals. I was challenging myself to take steps in the direction that I wanted to be.

I started listing things in my head and then eventually on paper that I could do that day that needed to be done and would feel good to check off my list. Even though I just wanted to continue to lay there, I knew I had to talk myself into movement as fast as I could. I knew that I would not feed any negative story, because it would take me deeper into the hole.

I have been checking things off most of my life. I still vividly remember the first time my friend, Leanne, taught me this magic. I was in the third grade and she was in the fourth. I still remember thinking she was completely brilliant because she knew how to spell the word ‘schedule’. ��
She created a schedule for our day and we checked things off as we completed them. That felt so good and I have been creating schedules and To-Do lists ever since.

If anybody knows me, they have seen and made jokes about my schedules and lists. It is what keeps me going. It is what allows me to set goals and create those doable steps that I keep talking about. And yes, I will even add completed tasks that didn’t make it to the original list just so that I can check them off !��

Later that day, my friend, Devi, shared a video where somebody was explaining how dopamine, one of our happiness neurotransmitters, lights us up every time we check something off of our To-Do list. I Love the confirmation of the Universe! My subconscious knew what to do to light up my energy! All it takes is one small action to begin the Light ceremony!

When we check one thing off, happiness chemicals kick in and we are inspired to do more. ✔️��

We know this feeling: once we start the project or intention, we find our flow.

All we have to do is start and we find ourselves more inspired.

The challenge is usually the starting.

This month I am challenging you to get clear on some things you would like to accomplish that will support ENJOYING YOUR LIFE! It doesn’t matter how big or how small, just be clear.

I would especially love for you to add feelings to your list so that you can retrain your brain to feel good.

Then add a check box to remove negative patterns. List your "To-Don'ts" so they are clear and part of your actionable task list, for example, "No pity parties! Focus on how I WANT to feel."

When accomplished, check them off, ✔️and allow that dopamine to propel you on to the next move.

If you get hung up on actually starting your chosen step, I literally do the 5-second rule (Mel Robbins) count down from 5 and begin.

When we jump in and just take action, without trying to think of creative ways on how or why we can't do it, it gets done.

Create the steps that you need to begin to make it happen. I did this when I wanted to run a half marathon. I also did this when I wanted to have my own business ( read here ) . Keep it easy. Doable steps.

Ok, dear reader, it's your turn! I have two questions for you:

Are you enjoying your life?

What are you going "To-Do" to make your life enjoyable?

Much Love,

Dena Gould

The Karma Drama had to go!

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Thu, 26 May 2022 15:00:06 GMT

Why do bad things happen to good people?!

I was raised with a basic understanding of Karma. I was taught to follow the golden rule. So, if Karma were real, then everything should be golden, right? I treated others how I wanted to be treated, but they were not always kind in return.

In the dictionary, Karma is basically described as cause and effect, which is what most of us are taught.

So, why do bad things happen to good people?

When I was younger, this baffled me. I would see some of the kindest and most loving humans (me included) endure some of the most challenging experiences. If Karma were real, then they should be experiencing Love and kindness, right?

Many of us have found ourselves pushing through bad experiences because we believed Karma would take care of it. We were taught that "they will get theirs!" I don't know about you,, but I got tired of tapping my toes with crossed arms. I was tired of waiting for them to suffer the way I had had to suffer.

Because of this, I eventually stopped believing in the dictionary version of Karma. However, I still had/have issues, so I had to hold on to something.

I choose to believe that when we die, we are made to feel all the emotions that we have caused others to feel - good and bad. As weird as it may sound, that gives me peace of mind because it has to be fair, right?!

When it got challenging for me to see and/or experience unkind people, I used to look at them and think, “Hah! When you die, you will have to feel this suffering that you caused!!” I would feel validated for at least a good 7 seconds.

Then I realized this was making them wrong and giving away my power, so now I reconcile this unfairness with, “it may not be fair now, but it will be sorted out for you eventually, and I will focus on causing good people (including myself) to feel good things!”

So after freeing myself from that Karma Drama, I came to understand 3 reasons why bad things happen to good people....

It's a CONTRACT

Fortunately, there are times when I'm able to step back and simply say "it's just an experience." It's just part of the illusion for our soul’s growth.

I have a contract with my soul’s energy to do specific things in each lifetime to grow and expand the human experience for myself and for all.

Whatever events happen in your life, they arise to help you, and others, evolve to a higher state of consciousness.

I have a contract in the sky that says, "I have chosen to hold space for this jerk and this crappy experience!" So, I think to myself, I am just going to be the Goddamn Light! Sunshine Care Bear energy, ACTIVATE! (Yes, these are my real thoughts that I use often. Feel free to use them as well.)

Being aware of soul contracts helps me relax into what happens instead of resisting it or fighting to comprehend the "fairness factor". You have contracts that your soul is fulfilling: don’t go into “stories” about what happened. This is not the time for pity parties. Focus on being the Goddamn Light and create your desires.

It's not about fair: it’s a CONTRACT thing

It's a FREQUENCY

Some wisdom has kicked in over the years. My new understanding of Karma has to do with frequency. Everything is energy and has a vibration. My own experience has taught me that like attracts like. It's the Law of Attraction.

The reason many of my beautiful and Loving friends behave from that kindness space is because they don't want anyone to experience the pain and suffering that they had to endure. They actually go out of their way to help others feel that they belong and that they matter.

However, something within their frequency still believes that they don’t matter and that they still are not enough .

“Not enough” is a frequency, therefore, they continue to attract experiences that support that belief.

Many of us also know entitled people. Because they are vibrating at that frequency, guess what they get to experience? We have all seen it. They get what they want!

Our frequency is not only created in this life but also brought in from past lives. AND it comes through in our DNA, so we are literally clearing or adding to our lineage energy. I am happy to share that I am seeing A LOT of lineage clearing by many of us! If we can stay out of fear and blame, then we become powerhouses for our frequency!

It's not about fair: it’s a VIBE thing!

It's NOT YOURS!

We have all experienced this, whether you're conscious of it or not. You are driving down the road, singing along to your favorite song, and then all of a sudden you feel heaviness in your chest or you can't fully catch your breath. You don't know where the feeling came from because you were just living your best life.

Or when you are at someone’s house and something just feels off and you find yourself wanting to leave as soon as possible.

We may find ourselves angry and not know why.

These are moments when energy comes in that truly was not ours. I have found that if we do not clear this energy once we are able to recognize it, then emotions creep in that affect us and our loved ones.

I don’t operate out of fear, so I don't want you to take this too seriously or get too attached to this idea. However, I do want you to be conscious of when this happens so that you can take steps to clear it as soon as possible. When this happens, DO NOT create a story around it. You do not need a memory of the experience. That will just cause suffering later.

Do your favorite clearing techniques or this NEW one that I will teach you here . I feel bad for not sharing this sooner. It’s not a “pretty” technique �� but damn, it has been powerful! There would be times when I would carry yuck energy for much longer than I would have liked and this method is almost immediate! I do it almost daily now as a preventive measure.

It’s not about fair: it’s not even yours!

So bad things can happen to good people because it’s a contract, it’s a vibe, or it’s not yours. Let’s keep it as easy as possible. Being aware of these will help you keep out of the "fairness trap" and focus on what you will do to create a better life for yourself.

Try this Action Plan!

When bad things happen and “it’s not fair” pops into your head, use these approaches to keep you out of the stories:

“I have contracts that my soul is fulfilling.” I will not create stories and pity parties. I focus on being the Goddamn Light and creating my desires.
“My frequency is vibrating at a different belief.” Shift this by changing your limiting belief with EFT ( watch here ).
“The energy does not belong to me.” Use the Sternum-Throat Method ( watch here ) this is a super-effective technique, let me know how it goes for you! And diffuse some Clary Sage essential oil (details below!)

So now that we are more aware of what's actually happening, we never have to blame anyone for our unhappiness!! Well, except our partners. We can still blame our partners ��

No valid reason here. It’s just something I like to do to keep it spicy ��

At the end of the day, life is an illusion. We are here to have a human experience, which is NOT easy, but when we consciously take our power back from the yuck moments and do not create stories about the yuck experiences, then we truly become creators of a better reality.

Much Love,

Dena Gould

I Can't Believe I Said That!!

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Tue, 26 Apr 2022 07:12:23 GMT

When I went to pick Shana up to go hang out, she was wearing a sweatshirt with kittens on it.

I'm sure I was probably wearing a fitted half-shirt so that my 2 belly button rings would show. It was 1994 and we were both 22. I wasn't mature enough to just allow her to be who she was. Yes, of course, I made fun of that sweatshirt!

This was my beautiful, brilliant friend, who was attending Law School at the time. I had recently met her at Coco’s where we waited tables together. I took on this second job in the evenings so I could pay off the credit card debt that my ex-boyfriend had left me with.

Shana and I were complete opposites in life experiences, but we had a lot of the same values and we learned so much from our differences. She would help me with my college algebra homework. (Yes, I was attending community college part-time as well.) I would show her how to do the booty dance. (Twerking was not a thing back then.) We balanced each other beautifully.

We eventually ended up being roommates. At that time, she was interning as a clerk for one of the Denver judges and Loved it. Unfortunately, when the clerk position became available, she was not chosen. Shana was completely heartbroken.

My response was, "Obviously, God has a different plan for you .” She made the expected “you’re crazy” face and said nothing. I hope I gave her a hug. – I don’t remember.

Over the years, we have jokingly thrown that statement back and forth when we are experiencing the crappy moments. “ Obviously, God has a different plan for you! ” Obviously, I have worked on my delivery :) but the message stands. It usually sucks at the time, but we both feel it to be true. Especially since Shana is now a badass in the judicial system! She would have never gone that direction if she got that clerk position over 25 years ago.

These memories rushed back recently as Shana and I were on a plane to Mexico to celebrate my 50th birthday. I was reflecting on how blessed I was to have so many beautiful people in my life. When I met her, I was at my lowest point. My ex-boyfriend had left me with a lot more than just credit card debt. I had to make many difficult decisions that forever changed my world. There were days that I did not think I would make it.

Never could I imagine how that “poor me” moment would bring me to where I am today. Taking that second job saved me, it gave me no free time to overthink. It kept me out of my head and forced me to put one foot in front of the other. I could give you a laundry list of all of the blessings I have learned and experienced from Shana. She has made me a better person and I have almost 30 years of unconditional Love.

Thank goodness God/Source/Universe had a BETTER plan for me!

Honestly, I cannot think back to a crappy experience that I did not learn from and, now, appreciate. I remember many of my first vulnerable experiences, fits of reacting vs acting, some cringey less-than-best-self moments; some of them still, give me the “ewws” but I have not made those mistakes again. I learned, set better boundaries, and freed up all that energy.

Instead of fighting these moments, let’s accept that...

God/Source/Universe has a BETTER plan for us!

And flow into our next moment of brilliance.

I was just talking to my oldest daughter, DeNae, the other day and she was in the middle of a bad experience. Then she shared how she asked her boyfriend, “What are we supposed to be learning from this?” Geeze the warm fuzzies when your children are brilliant!!

This newsletter is your reminder: If you find yourself in a crappy moment…

Ask:

What can I learn from this?
What choice do I make now?
What is the first doable step to creating an experience I desire?
What’s funny about this? ~Andy Dooley

 Remember:

This is just a small moment in the big scheme of things.
I am focusing on the best possible outcome.
I am the Damn Light!
God/Source/Universe had a BETTER plan for you!

The F Word was taking over my life!

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Tue, 29 Mar 2022 08:28:08 GMT

"What the world needs now is love, sweet love
It's the only thing that there's just too little of
What the world needs now is love, sweet love
No not just for some, but for everyone."

Love is a frequency and we need more of it. I am reminding you how powerful you are. How powerful we are as a collective.

We saw what happened when we all started vibrating together in Fear these past few years. We all felt it. I literally had to cleanse my energy more because I was hanging out in a frequency that attracted exactly what I did not want. I subconsciously and at times consciously fed this fear. It became my new vibration.

 It took a LOT more effort to exist on the earth in this lower frequency. Eww!!

I am back to a place that provides more loving-kindness and peace for my soul. I am not going back to anger and fear. Feeding into the fear does not help it. Thinking about all the bad things that are happening to beautiful people in our world is not changing their experiences: it is lowering the frequency.  Instead, I surround those situations and people in Love when the fear thoughts creep in.

We need more Love, Sweet Love!

I know, I know! There are times that I want to withhold Love from a few people as well, but that just is not how it works. When we withhold from them, we withhold from ourselves.  We are all connected. ALL OF US. We are here to experience individual emotions for the collective.

When we hang out in heavy emotions for long periods, it lowers the frequency of our bodies and those around us. This is why we feel drained and dragged down when hanging out with negative people.

Let’s go back to Love, Sweet Love!

Still, please do not confuse being human and having challenging experiences and emotions as something that's wrong. It's all part of the process; it's part of the human experience. Remember, we are in control of our thoughts, and we can choose not to hang out in misery, anger, and/or fear.

As Byron Katie would suggest, “That thought is the cause of your suffering.” Thinking “that thought” over and over and in as many creative ways as possible is still causing the suffering and not changing anything.

 Please read that again.

Let’s think about Love, Sweet Love!

Even if we have not received the Love that we desire, we can still be Love. “I’m not Loveable” is just another story that can be changed.

This can be inspiring and empowering work. One small intention at a time. One Love action is just the beginning. Love begins within us. Loving without conditions. Loving all that is.

Sometimes I have to say to myself, “it’s an illusion. You can Love this moment even though it feels scary.”

I create my reality of Love, Sweet Love!

Ask yourself:
What would it feel like if I Loved myself?
What would Love feel like if I Loved others unconditionally the best that I can in the moment?
How would Love show up if I were not afraid?
What would Love look like if everyone saw me for all that I am?

Create the Love expression that works for you. As with anything, the more practice, the better we get. I now find myself waking up to Louise Hay’s Mantra, “I Love and accept myself.”  I began using this as a default so that the morning negative thoughts did not have the opportunity to creep in and stick. I am grateful for the new habit, and I am making Love my default state, not Fear!

I choose Love, Sweet Love!

 Let’s do this. Let’s show up for ourselves and each other. Let’s Love all as if we were looking into scared children's eyes and Loving them for existing. Let’s feed the Love energy! Let’s go out of our way to show Loving-kindness.

I am LOVE, SWEET LOVE.

Daydreaming caused my depression! Let's Manifest instead.

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Sat, 26 Feb 2022 14:45:49 GMT

Do you find yourself living in The Daydream?

I think many of us were taught that it is healthy to daydream. I remember learning somewhere that daydreaming helps with our creativity.
Unfortunately, I have never found that to be true in my adult life. At least not in a way that I heavily benefited from.

My daydream is a way to escape my reality.

When I live in the daydream my reality becomes more boring, hard, and depressing. I lose my focus and passion for life. In the past, when I found myself depressed, I can guarantee I was not taking an active role in my reality.
(read that story here!)

I am using the definition of the daydream to also include any place we go mentally to escape, that keeps us from taking action in our reality. It doesn’t have to be full of the easy life with lots of money, freedom, and the perfect partner. For some of us, we like to focus on the worst-case scenario and going into the “worry cloud” provides purpose for our minds. This daydream allows us to feel a sense of purpose. It keeps us always feeling safe and prepared.

Take a moment to pause, and think about your own experiences: has that daydream ever once made your life better? How much of your valuable time and energy have you spent in the daydream?

I know that it can be enticing, and it is easier than taking action in your “real” life, but guess what?

THIS reality is where you live.

Well, unless you are having an enlightening experience, but that is a whole different shade of rainbow – enjoy that experience!

You are a brilliant being, make decisions in the moment instead of living in the “what ifs.”

We say we want success, happiness, freedom, etc. Those are all feelings that come from within.

Only WE can create those feelings and we must take ACTION to do so.
*
That action begins with a thought.
*
Feel free to use your IMAGINATION to create the feelings and experiences that you desire.
*
Get clear on what steps you can take today, this week, and this month to make your desire a reality.
*
Spend your valuable time on being excited about what you are CREATING instead of getting lost in the daydream.

When the seduction of the daydream creeps in, have a go at “flip and turn” action to change it.

Some of my favorites:

I don’t have to think that thought. I am the creator of my reality.
Bye Felicia! I Love the process of my creations!
My life is here and now! My life is here and now! I am right here living my best life.
Ain’t no one got time for that! I am the Goddamn Light! I am! I am! I am!!

Choose to make this fun! Please also add in those visualizations along with the feelings that you desire.

Visualization is intention.

Create the knowing in your being so that you change your frequency and create a match!

This is the Law of Attraction.

This is you taking an ACTIVE role in your experiences.

I would not have my business without this practice. It took a LOT of small steps, but I know I would not be as successful as I am without the slow growth. I did NOT jump in with both feet. I made it work for me and continue to create more experiences that feed my soul.

Much Love,

Dena Gould

She told me she was sad and I grinned!

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Tue, 25 Jan 2022 04:09:36 GMT

Celebrate your Shiny Moments!

Tears were rolling down her cheeks uncontrollably.

I asked her what was the strongest emotion that she was feeling. She said, “Sad. I am just so damn sad!” She had every reason to be sad. The sadness was throughout her body. It took a lot of tears, energy, and “allowing.”

After we were able to get most, but not all, of it to move through and out of her, she was able to take that deep belly breath. I think she had been waiting years for that breath!  When we are in fight, flight, or freeze our breath can only exist in our chest.

 The moment she told me the emotion was sadness, I heard Spirit say, “SHE’S NOT ANGRY!” I smiled within my entire being. I believe that I had seen her 3 or 4 times prior to this session and she was ANGRY! She was so damn angry! Nonetheless, she continued to show up and do the work.

Aww, as I type this I am tearing up because I still remember this moment. The anger was gone. She worked her ass off to move it and it was gone. This allowed her to feel an emotion that she had not allowed herself to feel in a long time. Anger does a great job at keeping us safe. But now my client was on a whole new level.

The energy in the room was so powerful!

 She was sad and I was doing a happy dance in my mind. Her courageous work is clearing generations of anger! She is seeing me because she wants…needs to be better for herself first, so she can be present and Loving to her children and grandchildren.

 When anger is all you have that keeps you feeling safe, it seeps out of you, even when you are doing your best to keep it pushed down. And of course, the ones we love most absorb our anger poison. Her willingness and courage is changing the lineage energy. She is becoming the antidote that her family needs.

 Nearing the end of the session, I asked her what she had done this past year that made her proud. She crinkled her nose at the question and shared a couple of things. Then I asked her if she noticed that she didn’t say that she was angry during our session. She paused as her eyes looked up into her head to find the answer. She looked back at me.

She got it. She took in that moment and we both belly-breathed together.

Many times, this work that we do together is NOT easy. I know that you may feel anxious before a session if we are clearing a lot of old pain. But you still show up!  You show up daily! Every. Damn. Day. You show up for you.

 Most days, you will never be satisfied because we are trained to always do more. This training will get us stuck in the negative voice loop. We find purpose in focusing on all of the things that “need fixing.” We do so many worthy things daily. We forget to honor the subtleties of our progress. Those are the daily gems. Let’s focus on those shiny moments more.

The more we focus on the good moments, the more we see the possibilities instead of the obstacles.

Please take a moment to look back over this past month. What gems in your life have you forgotten to acknowledge? What did you work through that you failed to celebrate? Focus on the still moments while you were in the contrast, otherwise known as the WTF moments. What did you learn? Those moments are usually where the momentum begins.

It’s in those moments that you create change that your soul has been whispering.

It just doesn't always look like an Instagram post. It typically begins with a cuss word followed by a small action. Now celebrate that action, look for the next possibility and take that deep belly breath.

Do I need to remind you who you are?!

Much Love,

Dena Gould

*All client stories are shared with permission

Do this every night = Change Your Life!

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Thu, 30 Dec 2021 09:03:46 GMT

Find the Missing Moment for Lasting Self-Love

If you've been with me in past years, we always set an intention word on how we want to feel for the new year. We then get creative and create doable steps to make our intentions our reality.

This year, I want to simplify it.

Simplify is actually my intention word for the year.

For the past few months, I had been actively “manifesting” self-Love and it really helped to shift the sadness I was feeling deep within my heart. These past couple of years have been a lot.

I am asking that you join me in my Self-Love practice this year! I am asking that you create space to change the way you look at yourself and therefore, the world. I am asking that you actively participate in shifting the energy of the Collective Consciousness by shifting it in yourself first.

And, of course, we will keep this simple.

Every night, before you go off to sleep:

IMAGINE that you truly love yourself right now.

IMAGINE that you love yourself now, exactly as you are.

IMAGINE how it would feel in your body to be loved unconditionally by you.

Get very clear on this feeling and create this feeling within your frequency. It may take time and that is ok but do this every night until you wake up every day knowing that you love yourself. Do this until you feel free and excited about life. THEN you may add a new intention that helps you create more of the life that you desire.

Will you allow this to become your new nightly ritual?

This “space” right before you go off to sleep is the THETA state and is very powerful for manifesting.

For many of us, this time is actually when we tend to think & sink ourselves into despair. We may find ourselves worrying over things not done and creating future anxiety. Unfortunately, this just adds more despair to our subconscious beliefs.

But making use of this precious Theta state will be the catalyst for your success! I have been active in this type of creating for years, but this “self-Love” creation before sleep has been the most powerful. It has been the most freeing. It has created so much happiness within me. As we know, if we can Love ourselves, people will not have to behave a certain way for us to feel like we are enough.

 When we know that we are enough for ourselves, others are free to be who they are. Imagine how delightful that would be!

During the day, take steps to add to this feeling: do things that support Loving yourself; choose thoughts that honor your decision to Love yourself; when you make a mistake, practice self-compassion and not self-hatred.

 The icing on the cake?

When you “have” to do something, say, " I am EXCITED to do this! "

“I am excited to eat that healthy option for lunch! Burgers tend to make me tired anyway!”

“I am excited to have this difficult conversation. Vulnerability is sexy and I know I will feel better during and after this discussion.”

“I am excited to do this workout/clean this item/go to the dentist because it will…”

 Say it, feel it, claim it!

Of course, we will still have our annual intention word!! I have also linked past January Newsletters ( 2021 , 2020 , 2019 ) to facilitate your success and to help you better understand them.

Keep it simple, and you know I appreciate you doing this work here with me!

Much Love,

Dena Gould

Sink or Float is Sooooo 2021, Let's SWIM!

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Tue, 30 Nov 2021 14:56:29 GMT

Look How Far You've Come!

Yup, this is the DECEMBER Newsletter!! So much this past year, right? You did a lot of really good things! You worked through a lot of old stories. You got to know yourself much better. I know there were times that you didn't know if you were going to pull through some of those really gross, sad, and challenging moments.

It was hard!

This energy that we have been working through has been fierce. We have not had the luxury of putting things off until we "felt better." Our asses have been thrown in the deep end. I see you floating, and I’m giving you lots of props! The speed of this energy is no joke, but we are doing it.

Because of our perseverance, we are shifting not only our energy, but the energy of those around us.

We are literally raising the frequency of our planet!

I hope some of you have begun to feel the difference.

We must continue to focus on what's good in our lives. Practice gratitude. Be kind. Don't create new heavy stories that do not support how you want to feel. Use your imagination and decide how you want to experience life and put your energy towards that as if nothing could stop you.

Let’s keep this momentum going so we stay at this higher frequency. Our personal frequency attracts more of the same, isn’t it beautiful?

I became aware of my own progress recently. I was talking to a friend about an event that we had attended. She had asked if I heard what “Bob” said. I hadn't. Then her husband chimed in and said you didn't hear the drama and commotion? I truly hadn't. My husband confirmed that he heard it. I didn't notice anything that they were referring to and I was confused on how I could have missed it.

I then realized I was unaware because I was no longer attached to “Bob’s” story.

I hate to admit it, but I had been a touch gossipy about “Bob.” His behavior really frustrated me. But now I was completely unaware. I was proud of myself. His story was no longer in my frequency. I chose not to be attached to his choices or behavior any longer.

This caused me to reference back to a mediation that I had recently done. It was a guided mediation by Matias De Stefano. My girlfriends and I recently saw him speak in Boulder and his understanding of the world resonates with me. He claims to remember all of humanity’s history, which is pretty damn impressive!

In the meditation, he talked about our resistance to fear. Basically, he explained that when we no longer fear something, there is no longer an obstacle. He suggests that we pick fear up and put it in our lap and talk to it like we would a child. What a concept right?

Fear and despair really captured our attention in the past few years. This heavier frequency has been challenging for sure. My body had become hyper-aware of other people’s fear, which caused me to be more fearful. It was like constantly hitting a wall.

On the positive side, it has been the impetus to so much growth. It has catapulted many of us to process our emotions and experiences at a much more rapid rate.

However, I know that we are very ready to feel some normalcy again. Now, when I have a fear-based thought, I see it as a wall; a wall that's coming towards me. When I choose to question the fear, I breathe a little more and the wall dissipates a bit. I ask more creative questions about the validity of the fear and the wall dissipates even more and I exhale even more.

We need contrast to grow, but when we ask creative questions and allow our bodies and minds to come up with the answers, it frees us even more.

Give it a try. Here are 4 questions to begin with:

1. What action would I take today if I did not have this fear?

*Take three action steps

2. What would it feel like in my body if I didn’t have this fear?

*Create this feeling now and every day after, so that your body becomes used to your new frequency

3. Why is this fear making me uncomfortable? Who or what experience does it bring to mind?

*See if you can find a comparison from a previous experience and give yourself permission to release the old “trauma” from your body. Do this by FEELING the emotion. You may also perform EFT or even breathe into the emotion.

4. Do I need him/her/they to be wrong so that I can feel better? Why? Why? Why?

*Answer this last question until you can confidently respond, no. – Watch Byron Katie videos on YouTube for inspiration.

Now that we have practiced releasing fear, what do you say we stop floating and swim again? No, it doesn’t have to be the breaststroke. You can start with a doggy paddle but let’s begin to move. Let’s make bigger plans for 2022. Let’s give ourselves permission to be excited again. The energy will not change until we take action to change it. Let’s leave the B.S. in 2021. Let’s use our legs and push ourselves forward a bit more. We are the Collective. Let’s collectively decide to… drum roll….

BE THE DAMN LIGHT and create the change we desire!

Happy holidays, and let's create this end of year in a continuation of Love and Fearless Motion!
Follow me on FB & IG, I'll be sharing creative ways to create your own Release the BS rituals!

Much Love,

Dena Gould

You seriously had to take your shirt off?!

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Sat, 30 Oct 2021 16:34:10 GMT

A Story About Perception

Over the summer, we went to Utah for my youngest daughter's soccer tournament. I decided to get up early and workout at the hotel (I know!). I was on the treadmill facing the window, I could see a woman's reflection come through the door. I turned and said, "Good morning." She did not make eye contact and barely said hello. It was obvious that my morning joy annoyed her.

I wrongly thought that since she was awake before the sun, she was a morning person too. Instead of just allowing her to be in her space, I judged her behavior because I wanted her to be happy with me - could you imagine how successful I would be if I always practiced what I preached? To be fair to me, I did turn around and say to myself, “Not my journey.”

I continued on the treadmill looking out into the darkness. I observed another person had come in, but did not bother to turn around this time. I kept focused on my run.

When I was close to done, I turned around and noticed that there was a man working out without his shirt.

As I turned back around, I said to myself, "I'm the alpha up in here!" I quietly laughed to myself, loving my sense of humor. As I jumped off the treadmill and began to stretch, the serious woman left and the man looked at me and said, “I am so sorry that I'm not wearing a shirt. I forgot all my T-shirts at home and only have dress shirts. I really wanted to be sure to get a workout in.” I empathized and said, “How frustrating. No problem.”

I laughed at myself again and thought, it is all about perception. He just wanted to jump-start his day with a good workout. I also wondered why he never bothered to explain himself to the other woman.

What was his perception of her? What was her perception of him? And why was I so judgy just because her behavior was different than mine? He comes in without a shirt and I get the giggles. She comes in without a smile and I get upset that my morning sunshine does not make her smile back at me.

Damnit! Why?! Why did I need her to behave a certain way so that I can feel good? Yup, I know, I was giving my power away. These life lessons are a trip.

I used to be so much better at this. I hate it when it feels like I go backward.

What if I just perceived both of them as a beautiful light?

When things would feel heavy and hard, I would consciously choose to perceive the world around me as I believe it to be on "the other side", seeing everyone and everything as the beautiful light that they are. I would speak to their light from my light. Honoring humans, nature, and even objects.

Focusing on what IS good brings good feelings. It’s just how the universe works.

It always comes in layers, doesn’t it? As we step into the light there is another layer. I remind myself that it does not have to be hard. I am reminding you too. We do not have to think that thought. We do not need someone to be wrong so that we can feel safe, comfortable, or validated. We can remember who we are and CREATE the experiences we desire.

Keep it curious, keep it light. And be the damn Light!

"Should I dump him and run?"

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Sun, 10 Oct 2021 16:11:26 GMT

That time Spirit told me to Shut Up!

I was clearing some energy from her third chakra as she asked a question about her boyfriend. I heard Spirit say, “Don’t give her the answer. Stop giving answers and ask questions.” So, I began to ask her questions.

By the time we were done with the session, she realized that she needed to “get over herself” a bit and focus on the good in her boyfriend to shift the energy.

I knew this download of information was powerful because my clients could feel their truth . If I had told this particular client that I intuitively felt she needed to work on the relationship, she would not have believed me. She was ready to throw in the towel. When she began to feel her truth, her awareness shifted in her body. She became excited about the possibilities and a bit relieved with her new knowledge.

Her energy expanded.

Yes, on rare occasions, my clients will not be open to fully hearing or feeling their inner truth because fear blocks it. When this happens, I do my best to ask more creative questions. At times, I will offer my intuitive “hits,” but it is just not as powerful.

If you have the perfect partner come into your life and tell you that he or she loves you and that you're perfect, you most likely will not believe that partner. We won’t believe we are loveable and perfect until we can believe it for ourselves . The same is true for our inner knowing. When we know it in ourselves, it feels safe to move forward in that knowing.

When we don't allow the fear to make decisions for us, we are free to be us, to make mistakes and to be perfect.

Unfortunately, fear can be paralyzing. It causes us not to move or make any decisions at all. We may think it's safer to stay exactly where we are. It can also cause us to run in the opposite direction, when that may not be the best choice.

This month I want to inspire you to ask yourself the tough questions. I want you to better trust your inner knowing, your inner Spirit. When we can make heart-based decisions from faith and Love, WE ARE IN OUR POWER! We all have this innate ability. I know this is easier said than done until it becomes a habit.

Let’s start now and make it a habit?

Get quiet and go into heart coherence. Go completely into your heart, put a small smile on your face and breathe in love and exhale your favorite yuck word. Do this for a couple of minutes.
Ask a question and listen for the answer. Allow yourself to come from Love and faith. Trust what you hear. It most likely will be your voice. If the response feels loving, please listen and take action based on this information. If the voice is not kind, this is not your higher spirit. This is YOU being a jerk. If this happens, laugh with yourself and step away for a bit. This is normal. Be patient and it will get better. When it feels right, try again.
The intention is to begin to trust you and come from a loving space. Keep this fun and light.

Example questions:

If I made my decisions from faith and Love, what would I do in this instance?

If I were not afraid, how would I approach this situation?

If I felt deserving, what would I ask for?

If I could truly trust myself, what would I do next?

For tips I've shared in the past on deepening your intuition, visit here and here . For a little more focus on heart-coherence, read here . And try my essential oil blend below to help you connect with your intuition and bring the third eye into balance!

And by the way, my business picked up at the end of 2014 when I stopped “giving answers.” When I learned that it wasn’t about me being psychic, it was about YOU stepping into your brilliance! Full exhale for me. I am blessed to “hold space” for you to discover your magnificence. Thank you for that. Thank you for allowing me to be with you during those tough times - the marriages, the divorces, the babies, the job changes, and the deep, deep trauma.

You all!!! My heart!!

THANK YOU!

Love you,

Dena

**Third Eye Balancing Blend

Try this blend of essential oils to help you with your third eye balancing and feel your truth.

3 drops: Frankincense is centering and can help you get your ego down and feel present. It helps with spiritual awareness, supports focus and concentration, and creates balance.
2 drops: Grapefruit is revitalizing and uplifting and helps increase mental clarity, emotional openness, and concentration.
1 drop: Lavender can calm the mind, and get you out of stress mode, also good to treat physical symptoms such as headaches or migraines.

The Sadness is REAL. But I Exploded in Anger!

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Sun, 29 Aug 2021 10:13:52 GMT

How to honor and clear the sadness!

Well, damn it! Apparently, I just can't continue to ignore this. Have you felt the sadness too? Overwhelming sadness? It’s like a mist in the air. I have been asking some of my clients if they also feel it. They inhale, get a little wide-eyed, exhale, and respond, "Yes."

I feel it began in early July and I thought it was done but it just continues to move through many of us in phases. It was doable but constant. There are moments where we come up for air and are hit with the latest world event that brings back the hopelessness.

I did not want to write about sadness, but I want you to know that you are not alone if you are feeling it too. It is an emotion. We do not have to fear it or feed it, but when we don’t address it, it can turn into heavier emotions.

I also want to remind you that when you honor the emotion you allow it to move through you. I have felt physically better since honoring my sadness. I expect to feel better energy flow, but I am also experiencing more muscle flexibility. I urge you to set aside time to do this work if you can relate. I found myself exploding in anger when I didn’t take the time.

TAKE THE TIME.

I will include a round of tapping to help with honoring and releasing it.

We are going into Fall the season of quiet and we WILL NOT GET SEDUCED BY THE DEPRESSION! Got it?!

I have learned the hard way: we must be proactive, or our bodies will have a pity party and forget to invite us. (Read more here )

Here is a basic list of preventative measures:

Start with Gratitude – Make a gratitude list either on paper or in your head at the same time every day. Get creative with it. Send thank-you notes to whomever you would like.
Be Helpful and Kind – Perform acts of loving kindness to feed your soul.
Soak in Motivation and Inspiration daily – Read or listen to something inspiring each day. Grow your soul.
Leave the past behind – You cannot expect to wake up each day feeling great if you keep reliving and feeding yourself the shitty stories of the past. When those stories pop in, “flip and turn” them to how you want to feel (read more here ).
Feel it - Get clear on how you want to experience life and create the feeling so that your body will allow and flow with that intention.
Visualize your day – Each morning, visualize and FEEL how you want to experience your day and create it. You may have to perform a few resets throughout the day.
Guzzle water – Yes, water. Drink a lot of it.
Get out in nature – Get your ass outside for at least 10 minutes a day, but preferably more.
Eat better – You were “all in” until I said this one huh? �� I’m not happy about this either, but we know it’s true. We FEEL better and have more energy when we nourish ourselves. Take small steps and make it doable. Promise yourself to eat a certain number of fruits and vegetables each day and do it. Even if you have to play the game of “I have to eat all of these vegetables before I can enjoy anything else.” Get creative and have fun.
Live "As If" – Live as if your life is as you would like. Walk the walk, and talk the talk. If you would like to be more confident, ask yourself, how do confident people behave and do that.
Create connection – This one is very important. Find your people and cultivate relationships.

Time and energy are moving at a much faster rate than so many of us have been used to and we are going to continue to go through these rapid energy shifts. However, many of us are already becoming more accustomed to them. More importantly, we have to prepare ourselves by being proactive. Otherwise, we get stuck into the fear and anger. Don’t do that. I've watched many people that I Love and adore get stuck there. NO RABBIT holes.

If you can't control it, don't open your energy to it.

You have control over this moment, your thoughts and your actions. This is your power. This is your frequency. Come up for air often. Follow the fun and do what you have to do to create the best reality for you.

Are you ready to move that stuck energy?

Let's Clear It Now!

Emotional Freedom Technique for Clearing Sadness

If you can specifically pinpoint the sadness, do it, if not, it is completely OK. You just need to feel it so we can move it. For me, it’s been everything from Lineage energy, to a relationship hardship, to Afghanistan and our political division. It has been all over the place.

Please measure the sadness on a scale from 1 to 10. 10 being the most uncomfortable. Do this for yourself so you can observe the movement that you have been able to create. You want to do your best to get it as uncomfortable as you possibly can so that we can get the pendulum to swing more strongly to the other side. I have attached an image for EFT tapping points to help you with this.

Begin tapping on the point, and say the words out loud!

Karate Chop Point: Even though I feel the sadness, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. Even though the sadness runs through me and I feel it, I am OK. Even though this sadness has just been too great a burden, I love and accept myself, and I honor the sadness that I feel.

Top of your head: I am sad and I feel it. It's so frustrating to feel this hopeless.

Above your eyebrow: This sadness that I feel in my body is depleting. I'm so tired of being sad.

Side of your eye: This sadness that I feel. I honor it and I allow it to flow.

Now I want you to notice where in your body you feel it and just allow yourself to honor the feeling in that location.

Below your eye: (Please take a deep breath.) This sadness that I carry here. I feel it and I honor it. This sadness in my body.

Below your nose: I feel and honor the sadness in my body. There's nothing to be afraid of. I'm honoring it and allowing it to flow and letting it go.

Below your collarbone: (Please take a deep breath.) I am feeling the energy shift. I am moving this sadness from my conscious and my subconscious. I don’t need to carry it anymore. It is not validating me.

Under your armpits: I remember that I am the creator of my experiences. I am choosing hope. I am choosing presence. I am choosing Love. In this moment, I am safe to feel good. I do not need to carry any guilt for feeling good.

Top of your head: Being human is a trip but I'm not going to allow it to be hard. I am in control of my thoughts and I'm not going to feed my mind thoughts that do not feel good.

Above your eyebrow: I can't expect to wake up feeling fabulous if I'm bringing the past with me. I cannot personally control what is happening around me but I do control what is happening within me. I choose thoughts that support how I feel.

Side of your eye: I am safe and I honor what I feel. It is safe for me to feel better. I am feeling calmer.

Below your eye: I am feeling better. I am more peace-filled. I am more hopeful. I am Light. I am Love.

Below your nose: I got this! And so it is. And so I am. Thy will is done.

You did it! Measure the feeling now, see if you were able to get it down, and repeat this as many times as you need to feel better.

Much Love,

Dena Gould

You won't be happy until you do this!

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Mon, 26 Jul 2021 14:53:09 GMT

This ah-ha moment has been saving me so much prolonged discomfort

I don't think that I ever really knew what an apology was until I met my husband. I just did not grow up in a house where we truly apologized. We may have been told to apologize to a sibling for not being considerate, but we did not apologize for the heavy ego-related experiences.

I didn't know how to react when my husband apologized at first. Apparently, it was his normal. What a concept, right?! When I began to try it, I am fairly sure my body went into subtle seizures because admitting wrong was just so foreign. Humans are weird. Anyway, after time, it began to become my normal.

  It gave me permission to make mistakes . I am sure that is when I decided vulnerability was sexy.

Recently I have had a new ah-ha moment. It may sound silly. They usually do once they become so obvious, but I'm sharing anyway because it has felt so good. I have shared in the past the power of doing the hard things first so that it frees up your mind space.

This ah-ha technique is along the same lines, except it has to do with uncomfortable emotions: now when I am not comfortable with a choice or action that has affected another person, I correct it as soon as possible . Especially those stories that pop into your head at three in the morning.

When life is happening and our responses come from ego - yikes! - or we just find ourselves tired and overwhelmed, so we are not as patient as we would like, this is a great technique: Fix It Now! Correct your wrong as soon as you get that knot in your gut or find yourself beating up on yourself.

I was recently with A LOT of people for many days and was completely exhausted on our last evening together. One person in the group pulled my energy most of the time and triggered me a bit. One of my irritations was that she kept telling people that THEIR behavior was wrong. Huh, (insert long pause here.) I wonder why this triggered me? - I am still laughing. Yes, my shit that I continue to work through. Feel free to laugh with me!

That evening, I was extremely short with her and a bit rude. I just didn't have the capacity and found myself in an "I don't care" mode. Well, I woke up early the next morning and felt so much shame. THIS is not my normal, nor is it how I ever want to be perceived. I could have attempted the "self-compassion" route and given my inner child permission to be human, but that didn't feel right. I have somewhat outgrown the "who was right" in this scenario game, so I didn't even try that.

Instead, I waited for an appropriate hour and texted this human. I apologized for my behavior. And I exhaled.

Because I have been doing this for a while now, it has caused me to be a bit more hyper-aware and conscious of my actions. In another recent situation, a dear loved one made a choice that I did not agree with - go ahead and laugh here. I made an unloving comment and immediately felt it. My next response to her was, "I'm sorry."

Friends, please give this a try if this resonates with you.

I am clearing the current embarrassment and shame almost in real-time, so that it NEVER enters my future.

I am working on creating a better me and you won't be happy unless you do the same. I KID!!

I see and adore you!! Keep shining and being human!

Much Love,

Dena Gould

Have you been trained to NOT trust yourself?

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Sat, 10 Jul 2021 08:34:07 GMT

How to trust your intuition without affirmation from outside!

Client Story - "Bob" shares that he is seeing someone new but is not sure if there is any long-term potential. He says his partner is nice but then begins to share some of her behaviors that are a little off-putting.

When I ask what his intuition is telling him, Bob responds that he does not know. He states he is being confused by the knot in his gut and is not sure whether it corresponds to ending the relationship or it is him being rusty in the dating scene.

He keeps coming back to the idea that he should pursue this relationship because as we are often told growing up, “anything worth having is worth working for.”

While this may apply to certain aspects of our lives, it should not be a blanket statement.

After listening to his verbalized internal struggle and asking many questions for Bob to find his truth, he still is not able to conclude what he should do. So, I suggest to Bob that questionable behavior and the knot in his stomach are red flags.

Bob is a reflection of many of us. We do not recognize the red flags or we question our gut reaction because, over time, we have been trained to not trust our own instincts. 

Have you experienced a situation where you know someone is upset and when you ask them what is wrong, they reply with “Nothing, I’m fine,” and they may even gaslight you? You then begin to question yourself because you can obviously sense the tension/uncomfortable energy, but you cannot find the source.

This can be common with significant others or close family members who either do not want to feel burdensome or their ego will not allow them to be vulnerable. I think most of us can relate to these types of responses; we like to tell ourselves that we will bring it up when the “timing is right”.

However, it is important for us to not take it personally. Let’s do our best to become more aware of our insight and not give our intuitive power to others. Sometimes awareness is exactly what our spirit needs.

Allow yourself to honor what you feel even though you may not receive affirmation.

We ALL need time to feel ready to discuss feelings if we even choose to open up at all. Sometimes we do not understand what we are feeling, so how can we discuss it? When you sense someone is having difficulty, then please allow for Grace. If you are being gaslit or made to feel bad, then I suggest creating better boundaries, based on the relationship. It is okay to send them Love from afar.

Despite your experience, please do your best to take steps to truly get to know yourself and trust your instincts ( learn how here ). You don’t always have to be right but do your best to be safe and empowered.

Much love and Keep Shining!

Dena Gould

Let's Stay Above the Clouds!

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Sun, 06 Jun 2021 13:55:09 GMT

A Message From Spirit - A Client Story

Meredith came into my office and sank into the chair allowing it to support more than just her body. She said, “I can't. I just can't handle this anymore. I do my best to always be so positive and focus on the good but this is just getting to be too much. I can't handle the negativity and the limiting attitudes of everyone around me. You know me, I always know that there's enough for everyone, but when everyone around me is coming from lack and fear, it has a negative effect on me.”

I responded; "I can completely relate. It has gotten to be so heavy." I had told her that I literally just did a "poor me" video the week before because I personally couldn't handle it. I had to perform EFT on myself and Spirit guided me to share my experience because so many others were feeling it too.

I explained, “All of the fear and negativity is affecting so many of us because we are not used to being in this space for long periods of time. It’s pulling us into those thoughts and feelings that we're just not used to having. Before we could usually rise above it but it is truly getting harder and harder. It feels like many of us must climb out of heavy sludge daily.

But that's exactly what we must do. We have to persevere.”

She added, “We need to fly above the clouds and allow the storm to remain below us.”

I nodded my head and screamed, “Yes! That's exactly what we need to do!

We need to keep our frequency and vibration so high that all of the negativity will not have the same effect on us."

I told Meredith I had been re-reading a Joe Dispenza Instagram post that he recently shared. It was the perfect inspiration for me. In fact, the timing was so divine that I thanked my Spirit Guides after reading it:

"If you could reach and sustain elevated emotional states, independent of the conditions in your external environment, you would be able to access higher intuitive states that can result in a better understanding of yourself and others, increase mental clarity, and promote better discernment." - Joe Dispenza

I continued, “Everybody is feeling this craziness and I sense that these divisions among us are going to be here for a while. Nonetheless, I truly believe that our mission is to ascend above it all.” This time she nodded in agreement.

When she got on the table and I connected with her energy, I immediately saw what would be perceived as a silver lining around her but it was actually in gold.

I then saw this beautiful light coming out of her chest. It had sunshine Care Bear energy and I shared that with her. When I receive downloads from Spirit, I don't always know why they show up as the images that they do. Sometimes I can misinterpret the signs, so I told her exactly as I saw it.

She then shared that when she was little, her parents would tell her that the Care Bears lived above the clouds so that she wouldn't be so scared when they flew in planes. Apparently, this was the perfect analogy! I love how the Universe comes together.

As I was receiving these messages in our session, I understood that the message was for ALL OF US.

We must ascend and keep our frequency high so that the fear and negativity do NOT pull us in.

As many of you know this is not easy, but with perseverance, we will do this. We are the creators of our reality.

Let’s keep our emotional states elevated and connected to the experiences that we truly desire.

Let's stay above the clouds.

I feel that consciously doing this daily will allow it to be easier and easier until this ascension becomes our new default setting and the sludge will not be able to pull us back in.

As we raise our frequency, we help those around us do the same. When they feel our light, they instantly feel better. Our light inspires… YOUR LIGHT INSPIRES THOSE AROUND YOU.

You know this! “As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~Marianne Williamson

Easy Steps you can take daily –

Read this quote by Dr. Joe Dispenza daily.
Set daily intentions upon waking up to shift your energy and readjust as needed throughout the day.
Perform your favorite techniques to bring you back to center daily such as:
* Meditate/Mindfulness Practices
* Journal
* Exercise/Yoga
* Use your reset button - watch here
Perform the Ground/Protect/Cleanse Techniques that were shared last month - watch here
Smile and say, “I’m the damn LIGHT and I got this” over and over.

Much love and Keep Shining!

Dena Gould

You can shine YOUR light in the tunnel!

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Tue, 27 Apr 2021 12:31:20 GMT

Re-engaging with society - Have you forgotten how to shine?

We are starting to see a light at the end of the pandemic tunnel, and we begin again to experience another shift in our social lives. You would think this would be exciting, but it is a bit too bright for some of us that have gotten used to the dimness.

How do we show up after all of the lessons and experiences that we have had?

My best advice is to do it on your terms ! I don't care about who you were before this, I want to know who you are now. That is how I want to meet you. That is how I am showing up for you.

Let’s re-engage with society in a way that fits our energy by being just who we are !

But let’s get clear on that first!

I always take time to reflect first. In a year + of pandemic life: so many memories, experiences, emotions. So much quiet and stillness. Some days I thrived, and some days I completely lost it. And through it all, I am my energy.

I am my energy.

I have recently realized how much I measure my experiences in energy. If you ask me to do something, I ask myself, how much energy is involved? Can I be present or will my other obligations or needs pull me from the moment? I can usually engage and enjoy just about any person in any situation, but if I am not present, then it’s not worth it for anyone. We all deserve Love and attention. If I do not have the capacity to BE with you, I will Love you enough to say, no thank you.

What about you? What have you learned about yourself during this time? What do you want to spend your energy doing? If you have found that your light dimmed a bit in the quiet, could it be possible that connection with the right people could energize you?

As humans, we need other humans. The best way to find our humans is to be who we are. When we try to be someone we are not, all we are doing is attracting people that are not in alignment with our energy. We want to attract our tribe. We want to attract people who are in our same frequency, and we cannot do that if we are not being authentically us. Whether we are learning from others because of our differences or whether we feel safe to completely sink into them because of our similarities, we must show up as we are.

Show up as you are.

What steps can you take to stand in your energy and be your authentic self?

If you have not already, please get clear on this. Journal on this. If you did not have any fear, how would this look for you? How would it feel? Take the time to self-reflect and show up as that best version of you each day. SHOW UP ON YOUR TERMS! I personally Love seeing you in sweats with mismatched socks.

Do not apologize for being who you are. Do not allow yourself to fall into comparisons, excuses, or Poor Me’s - the “easy outs” that might cover the uncomfortable feelings that come with authenticity and vulnerability.

I will never know from our interaction what you did and did not do during this year, how far down your to-do list you got, how many steps you did not take toward your goals/etc. I will only be present with the you right in front of me, as you are. I will sink into the joy of our collective energy and be grateful for our moment of human connection.

Show up as just as you are!

Create at least 3 mantras to help you to interrupt negative thought habits and allow yourself to be authentically you . Here are some examples:

“I am enough!”

“Here I am. It’s me!”

“I am the best version of me!”

“I am Confident/Peace/Light/Badass.”

“I am the damn Light!”

Use these to power yourself up before you step out of the door or walk into a room. Announce yourself silently in your head, with a little badassary, “Here I am, it’s me!

Let’s use this next season to JUST BE. Let’s not add any regret or resentment to our life. You are the damn light!

Much Love,

Dena Gould

I've been a terrible friend!

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Wed, 31 Mar 2021 06:51:04 GMT

I should have shared this a year ago! Ground, Protect, and Cleanse your energy!

She asked, “What in the actual fuck?!” One of my girlfriends has been through more “challenging” experiences than I can even imagine. She means business this lifetime. She is taking on ALL THE CONTRAST! After the most recent… contrast, she shared on messenger, “It just sucked the life out of me.”

My response: “Sometimes when I clear dark energy, I am wiped for three days. Be sure you are meditating daily to bring your power and energy back . I am also conscious when I go to bed at night to connect to the Divine and bring in the light.”

Her response that next day: “I released so much shit last night, I could actually feel it pouring out of me.” (She is a powerful intuitive force. I will let you know when she begins offering energy sessions.) ��

Because I've been doing energy work for so long, I sometimes forget what I habitually do to clear and protect my energy. I was used to sharing the basic techniques that I have taught for years because they had worked.

In the past, I was able to get away with allowing never-ending Divine Energy to flow through me as a way to keep my personal energy, and I never felt too terribly tired. Occasionally, I would have to filter or shield my energy if it got to be a bit much, and maybe add a simple cleanse after a heavy encounter. And that’s what I have been sharing.

However, I have found that within the past few years, it has gotten a bit more intense. I now must consciously ground myself every day and do conscious cleansings, among other things. I learned that when I clear “the heavy stuff” I must consciously connect to the Divine before bed and allow the light to flow through me, clearing my vessel. I added this technique to my nightly routine and it has become second-nature.

After she shared her experience, I thought, I’m a horrible friend. I probably should have shared this technique a year ago! I am being reminded that the things that I do habitually could probably be pretty damn beneficial to a lot of you. I apologize for not sharing this sooner with you!

I do not like to live in fear or worry. However, being proactive and conscious just makes sense. Everything is energy, from the food that we eat, to the bed that we lay in. DO NOT get caught up in worrying too much about bad or good energy (we tend to label our experiences to better understand them, but this may pull our energy further away from us, and fear of “bad” just feeds fear!) I have found it easier to view it as a frequency; everything vibrates at different frequencies and we want to do our best to not take on frequencies that do not feel good to us.

But how?

We can do this by Grounding, Protecting and Cleansing our energy .

I want to remind you to do these three processes, nightly if possible, and you will experience a huge shift in your energy and ability to shine.

 I am always about ease and intention, so I will share a few techniques that I practice nightly and also that I enjoy! This may appear to be quite a bit to start out if you are not already doing techniques of your own, but after a while it will become second nature.

I've created a 7-Day online course, The Sacred Energy Reset that you can do at your own pace to experience an exhilirating and powerful week of energy cleansing for $37.

Or take it step by step with my video series below:

GROUNDING:

Click to watch now!

1. Visually see the light energy of you coming down from your root chakra or tailbone and wrapping around the center of the earth. Set the intention to anchor your energy.

2. Optional add on: Set the intention to see and feel Earth Energy coming up through your light energy and providing grounding support. Then see/feel Source Energy coming into your light energy through the top of your head and intermingling with the Earth Energy. Allow yourself to feel aligned within your body, connected to all.

PROTECTING:

Click to watch now !

1. See and feel never-ending Source Energy coming in through the top of your head and out your energy centers as needed so that no one is pulling YOUR energy, but they are benefiting from the “Light that is YOU.” This can be fun. Your energy will be missed when you are not around.

Watch option 2 now!
2. Optional add on: This specific technique came to me this month in a session. See yourself as millions of beautiful golden sparkles and if your energy feels pulled, visually see/feel these sparkles effortlessly connect and mirror back to the person/event pulling your energy.

CLEANSING

Click to watch now !

1. See and feel the power of YOUR LIGHT (this can come from your root, your heart, or wherever it resonates with you) getting bigger and bigger. As it gets bigger, know that the lower frequencies dissipate in YOUR LIGHT.

Click to watch now!
2. When in bed, see and feel Source Energy flowing throughout your entire body as you allow the energy that does not serve you being released out of your extremities. Allow this process to continue while you sleep.

Try these, and try them again, add and adjust as you need, but build them into your nightly routine. Doing this has ensured that I am living at the frequency that I want and not being pulled into lower states.

Keep those vibrations sky high, and be the damn light!

Much love,

Dena Gould

*I’m always happy to hear from you! Comment with your favorite techniques to Ground, Protect and Cleanse your energy!

Shhhhhh, I'm talking to me!

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Sat, 27 Feb 2021 14:33:52 GMT

Intuition is always on your side - are you listening?

Sometimes I take my intuition for granted. As weird as this may sound, I forget not everybody checks in with themselves energetically. I often observe people lean into choices that do not match their true desire.

I know that we all get blinded by our internal worlds — me included. Our “logical mind” can be loud and overpowering if we identify with or are attached to our thinking brain, or if we don’t remember that our inner voice is in there too.

Check in first!

Whenever I have choices to make, I do my best to check in with myself — with my intuition. From experience, if I don’t check in, there will be regrets. I know most of you have experienced that regret when that gut feeling was ignored. However, our intuition isn't always that obvious.

Everyone's experience with intuition is different. When I check in with myself, my intuition is subtle. The voices that I hear are my own, I usually get my best insight after meditation or during a shower because I am calm and present. Unfortunately, my ego will get in the way from time to time or I am not sure I am understanding the message. If that happens, I will ask “Spirit” for a strong sign to validate my intuitive interpretation. Please go here to learn more about signs: Signs from Spirit .

This month, I want to remind you to tap into your sacred intuition more often. It allows for so many empowering decisions and experiences.

If you are new to this concept, please know that you do not have to completely quiet your mind to be successful. Trusting yourself is key, which is not always easy, but the benefit from this effort will far outweigh the gut feeling of regret. 

There are many layers to your intuition. I don't want this to be overwhelming for you, so I'm going to give you some basic tools to begin to play with. Remember, this is a "practice" and with practice comes better experiences. Be kind to yourself during this process.

Start by asking a question, and TRUST that you will receive guidance.

PLAY is essential. When starting out, you cannot think of this as a test, pass or fail, or that there is one right way to do it, or you will never feel successful.
Remember that everything is energy, so learning to be still and allow yourself to “feel” your truth will support your success.
Ask for a STRONG sign that supports the correct choice and watch for the signs .
Do not be attached to the outcome and trust the message. This is easier said than done. As I said before, sometimes ego will get in the way so you can always ask for signs to support your interpretation of your intuitive instincts.
Have fun with this process. You are discovering the inner workings of YOU! What could be more interesting and invigorating?!
The more you practice, the more you will understand your own internal knowledge.
Do not be discouraged when you interpret the sign incorrectly. It happens to the best intuitives.

Watch the video below for a simple guided exercise in trusting your gut!

Deepen your awareness:

Create a routine to check in with your intuition at least once a day. I do this in the morning with my journal practice and again after my noon meditation. This will facilitate your practice and help you to become more aware of subtle energy shifts, so that you can define and trust your intuition.

Over time, you will be able to tune in quickly when you need specific guidance or when you feel your gut “speaking up.” Because we tend to attract the same lessons until they are learned, this awareness will help you to clear the lesson faster and eventually all together. If you are meant to have a specific experience, your intuition / the universe will keep tapping you on the shoulder until you look up and take action!

Tuning in and trusting your intuition is the beginning. As you begin to experience the power of trusting yourself, you will start creating your life exactly as you want it, and living from a place of truth and love instead of fear and lack.

Much love,

Dena Gould

Connection is Everything! Let's make better friends

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Mon, 01 Feb 2021 01:27:04 GMT

Do your friendships delight you or drain you?

Let's make better friends! True friendship and connection are not always easy, but ALWAYS worth the effort. I sincerely do not know where I would be without my besties!

My close friendships are “effortless” because we took the time to cultivate our friendships. I do not feel like I am ever putting in “work” because the connection with them feeds my soul - ALWAYS!! Even if they are complaining about their partner for the 1087th time, I’m there, nodding my head in empathy. They probably did the same for me last week. It brings me to tears at times to think of the Love that I have for my girls!

It wasn’t always like this.

Especially when I was in my twenties. It took a lot of gross feelings, self-awareness, humility, and empathy – it took me a while to learn empathy. I always just wanted to fix it and be done. Apparently, that is not highly effective when attempting to create connection.

Many times, we may find ourselves getting upset with others because of the expectations that we put on them . I believe the first step to true connection is to truly understand ourselves. Turn off those expectations and turn on your self-reflection. And the deeper we go with that work, the deeper our connections can be.

Whenever we find ourselves getting upset with a friend, if we can pause and self-reflect , then we can better communicate why we were upset in the first place. We can turn that upset into a growth moment, and create closeness instead of separation.

When someone loves us enough to be truly honest with us, that person is a keeper. If their communication is coming from their heart, we can usually feel the difference, unless we have not accepted ourselves first.

One of my favorite examples is my bossiness. When I was in my twenties and my friends called me bossy, I would get angry and defensive because no one wants to hang around Ms. Bossy, and at that point in my self-acceptance, neither did I. However, when some of my friends elaborated, and said that it’s good that I know what I want - they liked that I was able to bring groups together and delegate, so they didn’t have to worry about the details - I was able to see that it did not have to be a bad thing. Once I could step back and understand my “bossiness” and look at the big picture, I could diffuse that defensiveness and learned to have better communication skills, so I came across more as a leader instead of Ms. Bossy.

Still, my energy can be a bit much for some people, and I have learned that they are just not my people and I am not theirs. This is a blessing because no one has to tiptoe in the relationship. Every once in a while, Ms. Bossy will still show up, but it’s usually with my close friends and family and they just make a joke, do as they are told or tell me to shut up (haha!) There is nothing but Love, because it is no longer a trigger for me - or them.

I Love it when we are vulnerable and allow people to fully see all of us, and they still stick around. They know that we are just being the best version of ourselves and that is true safety and friendship.

To get your connections where you want them to be, follow these 6 steps to create better connections:

Get clear on what you want from a friendship.
Create your boundaries and hold others accountable so that it is safe to step into the relationship.
Teach others how to treat you by setting the example and using clear communication.
Ask, how am I showing up for the friendship?
Follow the Golden Rule and treat others as you would like to be treated.
Have fun!

Friendships should be fairly easy after a while. You still have to put forth effort, but if you are getting upset, ALWAYS turn the thought around and ask yourself why and what YOU need to do to feel better. Putting up walls, shutting down, going into “poor me” are NOT options.

To take your connections to another level, please see our 6 steps to cultivate relationships, and as an extra bonus, we've put together proven ways to create new friendships.

Keep shining and connect, connect, connect!

6 Steps to Cultivate Your Relationships

Add important dates to your calendar and reach out or send cards. It matters and they will appreciate it!
Check in from time to time to let them know you are thinking of them.
Never be afraid to ask questions for which you would sincerely like answers. Allow yourself to pause and be open to the response.
Consciously be a friend from your heart. If you can’t come from your heart, don’t bother until you can.
Sacrifice from time to time if you tend to focus on your needs more. If you are a giver, say no from time to time.
HAVE FUN!

Sometimes people are not capable of showing up the way you need. If you have truly tried to cultivate the relationship, but this happens, they are not your person. This feeling sucks, but be honest with yourself. Step back and focus on what you need to do to feel good. Love them enough to release them.

Proven Ways to Make New Friends:

Join www.bumble.com . There is a bumble BFF section. I have had a couple clients who have found good friends here.
Join www.nextdoor.com and look into existing groups or practice the beautiful art of vulnerability and ask if there is anyone who would like to connect. Go on walks, have a social distance coffee, ask if anyone enjoys the same hobbies as you. I have seen great success with this as well.
When you are out, practice by genuinely complimenting someone if you are inspired or even by asking questions to create connection.
Finally – Remember one of Don Miguel Ruiz’ “Four Agreements”: DO NOT TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY! Have fun with this process and do not take it personally if responses are not your desired outcome. SET INTENTIONS to have fun and create connection. Keep your energy joy-filled and positive, so that you attract the same.

Be careful what you ask for!

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Thu, 31 Dec 2020 00:04:52 GMT

We asked for clear vision - 20/20 to be exact...

Apparently, the universe decided to go full force! I don't know anyone who has not grown from this past year. 2020 has been the impetus for so much self-awareness. Now that we are more aware, I think our intention word for 2021 will have deeper meaning.

Yes, we will stick with tradition and create an intention word for 2021:

How do you want to experience this new year?
How do you want to feel in your body?

It is abundantly clear that we can't control the world around us, but we can always control how we feel and react to life. I believe we all have gotten better at this. I want to share a story that inspired me and I hope may inspire some of you to step more into your power this year.

I was talking on the phone to my girlfriend, Devi. She was sharing her frustration with how a peer had disrespected her in front of another person. I asked if she addressed this with her and she shared that her peer just was not in a place to hear feedback. She said that the other person involved is learning more about Devi and will eventually come to her own conclusions. Devi simply stated: "All I can do is be the best version of me. I’m not perfect, but people eventually get to know who I AM."

ALL I CAN DO IS BE THE BEST VERSION OF ME!

In other words, she did not allow bad behavior to affect her mind-space. She did not NEED to prove anyone wrong. Devi didn’t create a negative story. She didn’t take it personally. She did not feed negativity into her subconscious to show up as a challenge later in her life. Instead, she chose to show up as the best version of herself.

This sounds like common sense, but not always easy for our busy minds. I am sharing this story in hopes that we use this as a “flip and turn” mantra as needed. When we do not feed the negative stories , our brain and body react less to the negativity of our environment.

WE ARE FREEING UP SPACE FOR HAPPINESS IN FUTURE VERSIONS OF OURSELVES.

How do you want to feel this year? What one word best supports that feeling? If you’re still not clear on it, or having trouble getting your intention word to come up, read here for a guided discovery.

Now that you have your intention clear, couple it with this mantra to minimize your reaction to negativity and open more space for your growth:

As you move through 2021, whenever you have a bad experience, please state, “All I can do is be the best version of me!”

Then claim your intention: “ I AM ___________!” This will stop the creation of negative subconscious stories and empower you to feel (*your intention word*).

As you create thoughts that support this intention, now create steps to support how you want to feel that are doable.

Understand that the world you live in is your creation. The way you perceive things is your reality.

NOTHING has to be hard. That is only a thought.

YOU ARE THE DAMN LIGHT! Keep shining!

Much love,

Dena

Imagine Taking Your Power Back NOW!

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 02:31:32 GMT

Take back your power: Accept & Release!

(Otherwise known as, Forgiveness :) )

When we are feeling confused, lonely, or insecure, we tend to not be kind to ourselves or others. Many of us have found ourselves in this position quite a bit this year with all of the unexpected changes. Our energy has been pulled in many directions.

What is still pulling at your energy?

Are you still pissed at COVID-19? Are you still reliving how things should have gone? Are you upset at a friend or family member for not knowing/doing something that was important to you? Are you frustrated with yourself for your choices or lack of awareness?

Think about these things for a moment and then notice your energy…

Those pangs are the places that you need to go first to release the resistance.

They only have power if you allow them to have power.

I have found the best way for me to do this is to take back my power and ACCEPT what happened. When we accept we can FORGIVE.

Let’s Forgive.

I propose we use this month to practice forgiveness. Forgive so that we are not taking this energy into the new year. When we forgive, we give ourselves what we most need - we give ourselves back the power over our feelings. We take back the power from that thing you did, from that person who hurt you, from that thing that happened to you. We let go of that mind struggle that says, “I need to hold on to this until it is right, until it is changed, until it is different.” We give ourselves more space to breathe into, more space to hold the thoughts and energy that serve us, not sink us.

We allow ourselves space to be the damn light we were born to be!

Imagine how good we will feel when we release our resistance to FEELING GOOD. We don’t need to look back at this year in irritation. Let’s look back in awareness and reflect on our experiences.

Identify that heavy energy.

Sometimes it just takes the right questions for me to tap into those little hidden blocks of heavy energy so that I can begin to honor those hurts and pains, forgive them, and move them out. When I can better understand why I am hurting, it softens me up a bit. It helps me to accept what happened. Compassion and forgiveness can flow and breathe air into the resistance, which allows the energy to move again.

These are some of the questions that I have asked myself in the past.

How would my life be different if I did not need so and so to be wrong or suffer?
Why is so and so angry/scared/sad?
How would my life be different if I chose to accept what happened and forgive so and so?
Why am I choosing to suffer by continuing to give this negative thought power?
What if I allowed it to be easier to take my power back and stopped being upset and attached to this experience.
How would I feel if I didn’t need to have this thought again?
Why am I choosing to subconsciously suffer over something that has already happened?
What would my life feel like if I forgave myself and released the guilt?
What steps can I actively take now to let this pain go and move forward in compassion and gratitude?

See what comes up for you. Allow and make space for whatever feelings arise, and honor them all. Now that you’ve pinpointed those pangs, tell them, “Thank you for your lesson. I’m done. I forgive.”

It’s all energy peeps. It doesn’t care who did what when. It just flows where it is thought into existence. The energy doesn’t care if you are right or wrong. When you resist it, it will resist you. When you allow it, it will allow you. Return to the old saying, would I rather be right or would I rather be happy?

Accept and Forgive. Clean out that funk and junk now, refuse to bring it with you into the new year. Or the new day!

Happy holidays, to you and all your loved ones. I know we can't have everything we are used to right now, but make this the year that you focus on your energy and releasing what is keeping you stuck. Give yourself that gift.

Keep shining,
Much love,
Dena

EFT for Forgiveness Series #5- Self Forgiveness

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Sat, 05 Dec 2020 05:28:48 GMT

How to forgive yourself and let go of pain!

Forgiveness—it’s a word that often feels easier to offer to others than to ourselves. Yet, self-forgiveness is one of the most profound acts of self-love and healing. In this post, we’ll explore how to let go of the heavy energy of self-blame and embrace emotional freedom using a simple yet powerful tool: Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) . Let’s dive in and discover how you can begin to release what no longer serves you and make way for a lighter, more vibrant self. ��

Why Self-Forgiveness Matters

We all have moments when we’ve betrayed ourselves. Maybe we’ve engaged in negative self-talk, acted out of alignment with our values, or made choices that left us feeling disappointed in ourselves. These experiences can leave us weighed down by guilt, regret, and shame. But here’s the truth: holding onto these emotions doesn’t serve us. Instead, it pulls at our energy, leaving us stuck in a cycle of self-punishment.

How I feel about me is what matters, not how other people feel about me. If I keep holding myself hostage, I’m just going to feel bad, and it’s not working. Self-forgiveness isn’t about ignoring our mistakes—it’s about acknowledging them, learning from them, and letting go of the emotional baggage that holds us back.

The Power of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) ��

EFT, also known as tapping, is a practical and effective way to release stuck energy in the body and mind. By tapping on specific meridian points while focusing on uncomfortable emotions, we can process and release the feelings that have been holding us back.

Here’s a step-by-step guide to using EFT for self-forgiveness:

- Identify a moment where you feel you betrayed yourself—whether through negative self-talk, a decision you regret, or not standing in your truth.
- Allow yourself to feel this emotion fully. On a scale from 0 to 10, gauge how intense the feeling is. The goal is to bring it as close to 10 as possible to create a dramatic emotional release.
- Begin tapping on the side of your hand and repeat affirmations like, “Even though I betrayed myself, I love, accept, and forgive myself.” Acknowledge the pain but also affirm your humanity and your ability to heal.
- Move through other tapping points (e.g., top of the head, eyebrow, side of the eye) while voicing your feelings. Be honest with yourself: “I didn’t use discernment, and it hurts, but I am human, and I’m doing the best I can.”

This process helps shift the heavy energy and allows you to release the emotions that no longer serve you. See it as energy because that’s all it is—energy you’re hanging on to that makes you feel like crap. Time to forgive yourself and let it go.

Feel the Shift and Let It Go

As you go through the tapping process, visualize the heavy energy leaving your body. Imagine it dissipating, leaving you feeling lighter and freer. Take a deep breath and affirm: “I am letting this go, and I’m still safe. I’m still me, and it feels good.”

If the intensity of the emotion hasn’t decreased significantly (down to a 1 or 2), repeat the process. The key is to honor the feelings as they arise and allow them to surface rather than suppressing them. Remember, healing takes patience and compassion.

Affirming Your Humanity and Moving Forward ��

Forgiving yourself doesn’t mean condoning your mistakes—it means choosing not to let them define you. It’s about recognizing that you are human, imperfect, and worthy of love and compassion. I can choose to better myself and make different choices, but I don’t have to continue to punish myself for the past.

Letting go of guilt and shame creates space for growth, self-love, and renewed energy. It’s a transformative act that allows you to step into your power and move forward with grace and hope.

Take the First Step Toward Healing

Are you ready to forgive yourself and release the energy that’s been weighing you down? Try this EFT practice and let me know how it feels. What emotions are you ready to let go of today? Remember, forgiving yourself is one of the most profound gifts you can give to your soul. ��

If this post resonated with you, I invite you to explore more resources on self-healing and emotional wellness. Visit my YouTube channel for additional guided practices and share your experiences in the comments below—I’d love to hear your story!

Thank you for being here. Sending love, light, and healing energy your way. You’ve got this! ✨

EFT for Forgiveness Series #4 - Regrettable Moments

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Sat, 05 Dec 2020 04:19:03 GMT

Let go of regret with Tapping: A Journey to Self-Forgiveness ��

Regret is a heavy burden, often chaining us to the past and preventing us from fully embracing the present. But what if you could release it? What if you could let go of those moments that haunt you and step into self-acceptance and peace? Today, we’re diving into the transformative power of Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), also known as tapping, to help you release regret and foster forgiveness. Get ready to embark on a journey that will leave you feeling lighter and more connected to the present moment. Let’s begin. ��

Why Regret Stays With Us

We’ve all experienced moments we wish we could change—those regrettable instances where we didn’t perform as we hoped or acted in ways we now wish we hadn’t. These moments can linger in our minds, replaying like a broken record and keeping us stuck in a cycle of self-blame and frustration. But here’s the truth: holding onto regret only drains our energy and prevents us from moving forward. Reliving these moments won’t change the past; it only deepens the wound. This is where tapping comes in.

What Is Tapping and How Does It Work?

Tapping, or Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), is a powerful tool that combines ancient acupressure techniques with modern psychology. By gently tapping on specific points of the body, you can release deeply held emotions like regret, guilt, and shame. The process helps to rewire your emotional response, making space for healing and self-acceptance. ��

Imagine being able to honor the emotions tied to your regrets, acknowledge their presence, and then let them dissolve—leaving you with a sense of freedom and peace. That’s exactly what this practice offers.

Step-by-Step Guide to Release Regret Using Tapping

Ready to release those lingering emotions? Follow this guided tapping session to free yourself from regret and embrace forgiveness:

Step 1: Bring Up a Regrettable Moment

Close your eyes and think of a specific moment in your past that still holds regret for you. Allow yourself to fully feel the discomfort and sit with it. Rate the intensity of this emotion on a scale from 0 to 10, with 10 being the most uncomfortable.

Step 2: Begin Tapping on the Karate Chop Point

Start by tapping on the side of your hand (known as the karate chop point) and repeat the following affirmations: “Even though I regret this moment, I love, accept, and forgive myself. Even though it still hurts, I love and accept myself for feeling this way.”

Step 3: Acknowledge and Honor the Emotion

As you continue tapping, acknowledge the regret and its impact: “It’s frustrating that I still feel this way. Reliving it hasn’t changed anything—it only adds to the regret. I’m tired of punishing myself.” Take a deep breath and let the emotion flow through you.

Step 4: Release the Regret

With each tap, affirm your intention to let go: “I wonder what it would feel like to release this. I’m ready to let go of this story because it’s not serving me anymore. I am safe to forgive myself and those involved.”

Step 5: Reassess and Repeat

After completing the tapping sequence, measure the intensity of the emotion again. If it’s still high, repeat the process until you feel a sense of relief and lightness.

Why Forgiveness Is a Gift You Give Yourself

Forgiveness isn’t about condoning the past—it’s about freeing yourself from its grip. By choosing to forgive, you’re making a powerful statement: “I deserve peace.” When you let go of regret, you create space for self-love, growth, and joy. Remember, you are doing the best you can in this moment, and that’s all that truly matters. ��

Feel the Shift: Living in the Present

As you release regret, you’ll notice a profound shift in your energy. You’ll feel lighter, more aligned, and ready to embrace the present moment. Tapping not only clears emotional blockages but also reconnects you with your inner strength and resilience. You are safe, loved, and capable of living fully in the now. ��

Reflect and Share

How do you feel after practicing this tapping session? Did you notice a shift in your body or emotions? Feel free to share your experience in the comments below—I’d love to hear from you and support you on your journey. Let’s build a community of healing and self-compassion together.

Thank you for taking this time for yourself. Remember, every step you take toward self-forgiveness is a step toward greater freedom and joy. You’ve got this. ��

Tapping is an integral part of my live in-person healing sessions, learn more!

Ready to let go of what’s no longer serving you? Bookmark this guide and revisit it whenever you need to release regret and reconnect with your inner peace. Share this post with someone who might benefit from tapping into self-forgiveness. Let’s spread the light and empowerment together.

Until next time, keep honoring yourself and choosing love. You are worthy of living in the present moment, free from the chains of regret. ��

EFT for Forgiveness #3 Depression - forgive yourself for guilt, shame, and all the feelings!

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Sat, 05 Dec 2020 02:42:43 GMT

Forgive Yourself: Harness the Power of EFT to Release Depression

Forgiveness is a powerful tool, not just for others, but for yourself. This month, we’re diving deep into the art of self-forgiveness, focusing on letting go of depression and embracing healing. Depression can feel overwhelming, but today, we explore how to honor those emotions and move toward peace through Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), or tapping. Join me in this transformative journey to reclaim your light, one tap at a time. ��

Why Forgiving Yourself Matters

In challenging times, depression can creep in, leaving us feeling heavy, hopeless, and stuck. It’s easy to blame ourselves for these feelings, but forgiveness starts by honoring the emotions within us. "Even though I have felt really helpless and hopeless and alone, I love, accept, and forgive myself." This acknowledgment is the first step in releasing the emotional weight that depression often brings.

Forgiving yourself is not about ignoring or dismissing your feelings. It’s about recognizing them, allowing them to surface, and giving yourself permission to let go. Depression doesn’t define you—it’s simply a part of your journey, and one you have the power to overcome.

Understanding EFT: A Tool for Emotional Release

Emotional Freedom Technique, or tapping, is a simple yet effective way to process emotions and shift heavy energy. The practice combines gentle physical tapping on specific points of the body with affirmations that acknowledge and release negative emotions. By doing so, you calm your nervous system, balance your energy, and create space for healing.

I’m not shoving it back down for it to show up again later. I’m taking the time to honor it. Depression. The depression that I’ve been feeling. The hopelessness that I’ve been feeling. The pity party that I’ve been having. I’m ashamed of it, but I’m gonna honor it.

Identify the emotion you’re feeling and rate its intensity on a scale of 0 to 10.
Begin tapping on specific points on your body while repeating affirmations such as, "Even though I feel this way, I love, accept, and forgive myself."
Continue until you feel a sense of relief or lightness.

Shifting Your Mindset: Small Steps Toward Healing

One of the key takeaways from this session is the importance of mindset in overcoming depression. We have the power to control our thoughts and, ultimately, our emotional state. "It is safe for me to be happy even if other people are struggling," she reminds us. By choosing to focus on positivity and gratitude, we can slowly climb out of the funk and create a brighter future for ourselves.

Here are a few actionable steps to shift your mindset and support your healing:

Start your mornings with intentional thoughts, such as "I’m so excited for today. I wonder what I’m going to experience or learn."
Consume uplifting and inspiring content, like motivational videos or books that feed your soul.
Practice self-care by prioritizing activities that make you feel good and nurturing your emotional well-being.

The Power of Choice: Reclaiming Your Happiness

I'd love to leave you with the empowering reminder that your happiness starts with you. "I’m the only one responsible for my happiness. I’m the only one thinking my thoughts. I am doing this." By taking responsibility for your emotions and choosing to do the work, you can transform your inner world and, ultimately, your life.

It’s not about reaching perfection overnight—it’s about being willing to take small, consistent steps toward feeling better. I know it might take a while to climb out of this hole, but I’m willing to do the work because it doesn’t feel good in this place.

Conclusion: Choose to Feel Good

Forgiving yourself for feeling low is a courageous act of self-love. By practicing EFT, shifting your mindset, and making intentional choices, you can release the weight of depression and step into a lighter, more joyful version of yourself. Remember, it’s a journey—one that starts with honoring your feelings and believing in your ability to heal.

Take a moment to reflect: What steps can you take today to support your emotional well-being? Let this be the beginning of a beautiful transformation toward self-acceptance and happiness. ��

If this practice resonated with you, share your experience in the comments below. Let’s continue supporting each other on this journey of healing and growth. Together, we can shine brighter. ✨

When a caregiver didn't take care...move on from toxic childhood experiences

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Sat, 05 Dec 2020 02:33:53 GMT

Healing Caregiver Betrayal: A Transformative EFT Tapping Guide

Have you ever felt the lingering sting of betrayal from someone you deeply trusted? Whether it was a parent, teacher, or caregiver, these moments can leave emotional scars that shape how we navigate future relationships. But what if you could let go of that pain and reclaim your personal power? Today, we’ll focus on an Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), or tapping, to help release those wounds and move toward forgiveness. Join me in this journey of self-healing and growth.

Why Focus on Caregiver Betrayal?

Caregivers hold a unique place in our lives. They’re the people we often trust to protect, nurture, and guide us. But what happens when they fall short? Perhaps they broke a promise, didn’t show up when you needed them, or caused deeper emotional harm. These experiences, big or small, can embed themselves into our subconscious, influencing how we trust others in the future.

As silly as it sounds, a lot of times we really hang on to those moments and then we never feel safe to trust someone else in our future. Recognizing and addressing those feelings is the first step toward healing. The good news? EFT tapping can help you release those old stories and begin anew.

Understanding EFT Tapping: A Path to Emotional Freedom

Emotional Freedom Technique, or tapping, is a powerful tool used to process and release emotional pain. By tapping on specific acupressure points while acknowledging your feelings, you can reduce emotional intensity and create space for healing.

The key is to truly feel and honor your emotions . Don’t try to be the superhero and pretend like that feeling or that pain or hurt doesn’t exist. This approach allows you to confront uncomfortable emotions head-on, reducing their power over your life.

Step-by-Step EFT Tapping Process for Caregiver Betrayal

Ready to begin your journey of forgiveness? Follow this guided tapping process:

Identify the Experience: Recall a moment when a caregiver betrayed you. It doesn’t have to be a major event—any experience that still holds emotional weight for you is valid.
Feel the Emotion: Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and allow yourself to feel the emotions tied to that memory. Rate the intensity of those feelings on a scale of 0 to 10.
Start Tapping: Tap on the side of your hand while repeating affirmations like: “Even though you hurt me and I trusted you, I love and accept me.” Move to the top of your head and continue tapping while acknowledging your feelings.
Release the Pain: Say aloud statements such as: “I release you. I forgive you. I’m done with this story. It doesn’t validate me anymore.” Visualize giving the person back the energy tied to the hurt and taking back your power.
Breathe and Reassess: Take a deep breath and note how the intensity of your feelings has changed. Repeat the process if needed until you feel lighter.

This story doesn’t need to validate me anymore. Today, I’m choosing to take control and release this experience.

The Power of Forgiveness

Forgiveness isn’t just about the person who hurt you—it’s about freeing yourself. By letting go of the pain and reclaiming your energy, you can create space for joy, self-love, and new beginnings.

It’s important to remember that this is your journey . There’s no right or wrong way to feel. Honor your emotions, and trust the process. Healing often takes time, but each step you take brings you closer to peace.

Take Back Your Power

After completing the EFT tapping session, place your hand over your heart and visualize filling yourself with love and strength. Allow that energy to flow freely, knowing you’ve taken a powerful step toward emotional independence. If the intensity of your feelings hasn’t decreased as much as you’d like, simply repeat the process until you feel lighter.

The key is to feel and honor the emotion, not try to be the superhero and pretend like that feeling or that pain or hurt doesn’t exist.

Conclusion: Your Healing Journey Starts Here

Releasing caregiver betrayal is no small feat, but with tools like EFT tapping, it’s entirely possible. By embracing your emotions, forgiving the past, and reclaiming your power, you can move forward with renewed strength and clarity.

Have you tried EFT tapping for emotional release? How did it feel to let go of old stories and take back your power? I’d love to hear about your experience in the comments below. Let’s continue this journey together, one step at a time. Stay blessed, and remember—you’ve got this! ��

EFT for Forgiveness Series #1 - Betrayal

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Tue, 01 Dec 2020 06:39:32 GMT

Heal Betrayal with Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT): Reclaim Your Power

Betrayal is one of the most difficult emotions to process. It can leave you feeling hurt, angry, and powerless. But what if there was a way to release that pain and reclaim your inner strength? Today, we’ll explore how the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) , also known as tapping, can help you process betrayal, let go of the emotional weight, and move forward feeling lighter and more empowered.

What Is EFT and How Does It Help?

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a powerful tool for addressing and releasing emotional distress. By tapping on specific energy points on the body while focusing on a particular emotion or event, you can process and release stuck energy. It’s not just about acknowledging the pain but actively working through it and letting it go.

In this session, we’ll focus on betrayal, one of the most challenging emotions to navigate. Whether it’s a betrayal from years ago or a more recent experience, this guided process will help you honor your feelings, release the heaviness, and reconnect with your power.

Step-by-Step EFT for Betrayal

Here’s a step-by-step breakdown of the EFT process to help you process betrayal:

Step 1: Acknowledge the Emotion
Close your eyes and focus on the betrayal you experienced. Pinpoint the moment it happened and allow yourself to fully feel the emotions—anger, sadness, or hurt. On a scale of 1 to 10, rate the intensity of these feelings, with 10 being the most overwhelming.

Step 2: Begin Tapping
Start tapping on the karate chop point (the side of your hand). While tapping, say out loud: “Even though I feel this betrayal deeply, I love and accept myself.” Repeat variations of this, acknowledging your hurt and affirming self-acceptance.

Step 3: Work Through Key Tapping Points
Move through the tapping points: top of your head, above your eyebrows, side of your eyes, below your eyes, under your nose, your chin, and your chest. At each point, express your emotions honestly. For example:
“I can’t believe you did this to me.”
“I am so hurt, angry, and tired of carrying this pain.”
“You don’t define me anymore.”

Step 4: Visualize Releasing the Pain
Imagine the feelings of betrayal as a physical object in your body. Visualize handing this object back to the person who betrayed you. Then, reclaim your energy and power, envisioning it as light or color returning to your body.

Step 5: Measure Your Progress
Pause and rate the intensity of your feelings again. If it’s not where you’d like it to be, repeat the process. Remember, forgiveness doesn’t mean denying what happened—it’s about releasing the energy that no longer serves you.

Why Forgiveness Is for You, Not Them

It’s important to understand that forgiveness isn’t about excusing someone else’s actions or forgetting what happened. Instead, it’s about freeing yourself from the emotional weight of the betrayal. Forgiveness is not holding on to that energy or giving anyone power over you anymore.

By releasing those emotions, you reclaim your ability to live fully and authentically, free from the grip of the past. Forgiveness is a powerful act of self-love and empowerment .

Feel Lighter and Stronger

After completing this EFT session, you may already feel a sense of lightness and relief. If the intensity is still high, don’t hesitate to repeat the process. Healing is a journey, and each step brings you closer to emotional freedom .

It is SO LOUD!

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Tue, 27 Oct 2020 03:46:41 GMT

How to Manage Your Peace in All This Noise

My beautiful client Ashley sat down on the couch, took a breath and said, “It is so loud.” My jaw dropped, eyes widened, and muscles relaxed. That was exactly it. It is so LOUD!

A global pandemic, social and political turmoil, and everything that 2020 has thrown out is guaranteed to make you feel like you have less control of your life and unsurprisingly, many of us have been impacted to varying degrees. With this looming sense of anxiety, anger, sadness, and fear, it is difficult to refrain from reacting instead of acting from a place of love. Consequently, we end up giving our control to fear and anger. It is so loud.

It’s evident that many of us are feeling unsafe and are on guard. I specifically had a few people in my life that I had been avoiding because their energy is angry, frightened and loud.

I even found myself contributing to this noise and needing allies to validate my feelings. We whooped and hollered and felt temporarily normal but that dissipated and reformed as desperation. It lost its power and was no longer necessary. We did not need allies but rather we yearned for connection – a safe place to just BE.

We grew tired of our own noise and retreated into ourselves. Some of us ran from this quiet for years and now we find solace. Others are in the corner with hands over our ears, waiting for it to feel safe to come out again. And some of us are using this quiet to rediscover OUR sound.

We are beginning to remember that WE also have our own vibrational sound and it does not have to be loud to be powerful.

Now is the time to get still and allow our bodies and minds to remember our sound, our frequency. This is where we are safe and others feel safe in our energy.

Put your dominant hand on your heart and BE in the moment.
See your heart being filled with Love, feel it and listen for the music of your heart.

When we remember our heart’s song, it’s easier to tap into that frequency – our safe place. We make the best decisions from our heart and when we consciously play our songs, we help others to remember their songs. We become a symphony again and it feels safe to dance again. Every day we must consciously choose to tap into our heart energy and dance.

We must consciously choose to focus on what we want to hear instead of allowing the noise to have its way with our energy.

The more we do this, the less powerful the noise becomes.

Why not start right now? Is your hand on your heart?

Breathe and connect. There is so much power in this moment.

Keep It Easy

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Sun, 25 Oct 2020 06:05:36 GMT

Yes, it's only November but...

Every year when the holidays come around, energy work and self-care often get pushed out of our focus and drowned out by all the “noise” of the holidays.

Things can quickly feel overwhelming. We forget to make heart-based decisions, and start to come from lack, frustration and/or fear. We know from experience that this only makes us feel worse.

Let’s allow the holidays to be easier this year. Stop believing that 2020 has to be hard. Let’s make sure we have this all in perspective.

Remember what holidays are really about for you. What do your fondest holiday memories contain? Do you remember the gifts? The wrapping? Decorations? Or is it…the warmth of family and friends together? The connections and relationships? Or is it…sadness, loneliness, stress of expectations and complicated relationships?

Whatever that is for you, what do you want it to be this year? Calm? Loving? Comfortable?

THIS is your focus. THIS is your holiday light. Put it on repeat, make it your daily/hourly mantra.

Allow your choices to easily support this intention. If you choose the word calm and so and so wants to invite his/her new partner to the Zoom party, but you know it won’t be the same with this new person, what choice could you make that would keep it calm?

What can you choose this season to keep the frequency high? Do THAT !

So, now that you are recentered with your holiday light shining, let’s make it easier to hold onto when things get loud.

November is NOWvember! There are steps that you can take NOW that will keep you ahead of the crazy, and free up mind and heart space to focus on and truly enjoy the moments that fill you with light.

Here are 5 ways you can prepare now, so you can Keep It Easy till the end of the year:

Devote 15 minutes daily to your planning.

Schedule your self-care into each day! Whatever it may be that you most need to feel grounded and centered, block that time out daily on your calendar and stick with it.

Plan your gifts.
Write out your gift list and budget for each person.
Be realistic and be frugal. Spending more than you want to won’t create the intended joy of giving on either end.
Think of ways to gift TIME or experiences (even in COVID times, there are ways you can do this. Think activity boxes, a themed party in a box, hands on craft activity, printed photo albums, personalized calendars and jigsaw puzzles)
Talk to your family about doing a “nothing new” or “zero-waste” holiday, and let the planet take a breath with you!

Take advantage of people who already did the work to scope out holiday gifts that are thoughtful and useful (google Top Ten mindful gifts, or "zero-waste gifts," or get your essential oil gift packs here: https://www.doterra.com/US/en/site/lom )

Prepare for Black Friday sales to shop early and save money!

Starting now will help you to keep your light shining while you enjoy the process!

Please share your holiday Keep It Easy tips in the comments.

There is a SHIFT in Consciousness!

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Wed, 23 Sep 2020 14:28:29 GMT

Where are you in this shift, and what to do if you are struggling

Have you been noticing that the collective consciousness appears to be shifting? It is like it's shifting into polar opposite energies. Many of us are beginning to finally experience a lightness in our energy. We are choosing to focus on what is good again. We are creating hope within ourselves even though the outside world is not supporting or giving us much hope. We are choosing to stop reading the headlines and focusing on what we can control. We are taking the time to be with ourselves more and embrace our energies.

We are embracing the light again!

I am also witnessing others who are experiencing some very traumatic experiences. I think some of this is coming from subconscious beliefs and the negative influences of the world, but I also, wholeheartedly feel that past energies are being cleared out based on these experiences. Not necessarily “negative” karma, but some of these heavy experiences are causing many to dig deep and understand why. When we dig deep, we slowly shift on the energy scale and raise our vibration. All of this is happening in double time and that is why it appears to be so damn challenging. But as we move with it, we are coming to an understanding that we are sincerely the creators of our lives.

If you are experiencing challenges, please pull out “basics” to shift this:

Ask, what is the lesson here? What can I learn from this? Sometimes you may not see it but allow yourself to trust it.
Don’t get stuck here. CHOOSE to focus on what you have control over and embrace the good.
Gratitude! Always come back to gratitude. Everything is a vibration, so focusing on the good brings in more good.

If you feel that you have already moved into this “light space,” then hang on. Better yet, grab your fellow lightworker. Lock arms and begin moving forward. Visualize this. Visualize all of us connected and shining. I am not saying to take on anyone’s energy. That is not what this is about. JUST BE YOU! Remember who the hell you are! You do not need to fix anyone’s thinking or actions. Just be you and shine. We all benefit by being in your LIGHT!

Continue to focus on what is good
Continue to set boundaries to keep your vibration high
Continue to not take anything personally because it has nothing to do with you
Continue to BE YOU and everyone around you benefits

BE THE DAMN LIGHT!

We have control over this moment. Let’s release the fear of the past and the anxiety of the future and focus on your happiness, your power, your light.

Please leave your comments below, I'd love to engage with you!

Finding the Magic in the Chaos

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Thu, 25 Jun 2020 13:25:25 GMT

A Video Newsletter June/July 2020

Please click above to view - I share my experience with all of this craziness. - It ain't pretty... I also discuss steps we can take to create the experiences that we want for the remainder of 2020.

Start with YOU

Thu, 16 Apr 2020 15:20:34 GMT

Coming back to CENTER

Life experience has taught me to be proactive so I don't end up spiraling into negative emotions. During this uncharted phase of social distancing, I have been doing my best to focus on gratitude daily. Because of this, my heart is filled more and more with moments of hope and connection.

Our new normal is social distancing and it impacts all of us differently. Can you relate to one or more of the following?

Feeling cozy and enjoying the stillness
Disheveled with deteriorating health because we are taking care of everyone else
In survival mode with no income and no light at the end of the tunnel; you are the light, by the way
Creating new creative ways to connect with the world
Anxiety over the what-ifs
Learning more acceptance with our families and creating cherished memories
Worn out because work is demanding and even life-threatening

None of these experiences are wrong. They are just the experience.

Be present and observe what stories have our attention. What experiences do we create as a result? If I find myself creating stories, I remind myself that life is an illusion and determine what will allow me to control the moment. I am the only person that can hear and hush the voices that create scary stories and dim my light.

What do YOU need right now? What stories can you release right now? What act of hope can you perform right now to uplift your vibration?

Online prayer or meditation group
Being a helper
Journal and truly self-reflect
Something physical for your body's health (e.g., yoga, walk, run)
Fast (go without food) and get clear on the messages you receive from Source
Write and mail letters and notes of gratitude
Daily gratitude - written or thought

LIFE IS SIMPLE. EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR YOU, NOT TO YOU.

EVERYTHING HAPPENS AT EXACTLY THE RIGHT MOMENT, NEITHER TOO SOON, NOR TOO LATE. YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIKE IT... IT'S JUST EASIER IF YOU DO.

~BYRON KATIE

It's not always easy, but when we see it as an experience to learn and grow from, we remain centered. When we panic, we lose all of our energy on something "out there" and make decisions from fear and ego. Nothing good comes from those decisions.

Put your hands over your heart and say, I am LOVE. I am SAFE. We are ONE until you can come back to your safe place. Back to Center.

I am starting with me.

I am LOVE.

I am SAFE.

We are ONE.

Mantra: I am Love. I am safe. We are one.

Heart-Centered Has Enriched My Life

Sun, 01 Mar 2020 16:01:02 GMT

Are you self aware?

Growing up and even as adults, we always have people we admire and want to emulate. This can be a family member, friend, or even a celebrity. Isn’t it a strange thing that we can always see greatness in other people but lack that ability to see it within ourselves? We all want to improve but sometimes just sitting in the moment and honoring who we are without negativity feels damn good. Allow yourself to absorb those feel-good moments and reflect on the challenging ones from this simple practice. You’ll raise your vibration and bring yourself to heart-center.

Recently, I have been practicing heart-center moments. I can observe hectic situations that would typically trigger me and instead bring in breaths of Love. There are still challenging moments but by setting my intention word for 2020 to "KIND” and “OPEN", I take more energy to be conscious. I learned that being kind in the manner I desire is rooted in being heart-centered. Often our intention word is rarely what we expect. (Remember when I chose HAPPINESS and had to learn humility?)

How have I practiced using heart-center? I’ll share this recent experience with you. One of my close friends and I are planning a trip; however, she was unresponsive to my texts about specific travel details. At that point, I had a lot on my plate and wanted to get it resolved. Since she did not respond, I made executive decisions that she later criticized. I lost it.

After I found my breath again, I took the time to ask myself what triggered me. I heard, "you don't matter"; I still don't know what moment in my life created this "story" but it was genuine. It really made me sad so I allowed myself to sit in that sadness for a bit while taking many deep breaths. In hindsight, the executive decisions that I made were rushed and not heart-centered. Ultimately, her criticism about my poor decisions triggered me even more. After I was able to exhale fully, I shared my revelation with my friend and apologized for my part in the chaos and we cleared all the weird energy between us.

By allowing myself to honor the emotions of this experience, I hope to be calmer in the future. I also suggest that you take in this practice when you find yourself triggered. Get still, take a few breaths and ask yourself why this may have happened. Allow the answer to come and breathe with it.

If an answer does not come, I highly recommend "Byroning" it. Watch Byron Katie on YouTube to better understand and go to www.thework.com to print out a few of her worksheets. I have "Byroned" everything from my husband to the President. Oh, I even "Byroned" my dad with her on stage in the early 2000's. She is a game-changer for me.

Life is about experiences. If we come from heart-center, take the time to clear our triggers and not allow new stories, we enrich our experiences. Our Lives are better.

Much Love,

Dena

Mantra: I am centered and safe!

Is Your Vision for 2020 Clear?

Wed, 01 Jan 2020 00:00:00 GMT

What is your 2020 Intention word? How do you want to feel?

January 2020

Oh, the new year – it’s time for “New year, new me!” Before jumping into discussing our annual intention word and steps to create the life we want, take time prior to January 1st to reflect on the previous year. This will include jotting down everything that went really well and the crap that didn't work.

 Materials needed for this exercise: pen and paper or a computer, time (~ at least an hour), and an open mind!

First Step: The Good Stuff

Write down everything that you are PROUD of accomplishing (e.g., challenging situations that you pushed yourself through, setting boundaries). Do this with excited intention and as if it just happened. Remember, everything is energy. Don't worry about organizing your thoughts – just let it flow and don’t shy away from creativity!

Note: If during this section, you find yourself saying “Yeah, I’m proud of that accomplishment but I could have done better” take a deep breath and allow that thought to flow right on out as you continue to focus on the good

Recommended time: 30-45 minutes.

Example:

It felt so good to be more present with my children. Being their daily soccer practice chauffeur gave us time to play car games and share experiences.
I Love that fight over the bathroom remodel turned into some magic emotional sharing between Scott and me.
It was such a blessing that I was able to take that training in New Mexico! AND during Leyara's soccer tournament that was in the same location. It was perfect!
I Love that I have been cooking more healthy dinners for the family.

Second Step: The Could’ve Been Better Stuff

Write down a few things that you are not so proud of but also include how you could have handled them differently.

Recommended time: 15-30 minutes.

Example:

I am so pissed at myself for not being as active once school started back up and the cold weather hit. I do Love that I pushed myself over the summer, but I need to keep moving. I intend to take at least 30 minutes either at home or at the kids' practices in the afternoon to go for a walk. I could also do morning yoga at home.
I seriously suck at just breathing sometimes! My triggers are a trip. I intend to journal more about them and "tap" on them when they come up instead of freaking out.

Last Step: The Moving Forward Stuff

Envision and/or journal about 2019 as if you flowed through it in a manner that you are proud of without implementing the negative moments. Avoid creating stories around your bad behavior or that which exists in the world; these will just evolve into visions that you have no control over and that do not matter. This is not ignorance but rather allows us to keep moving forward in faith and Love instead of lack and fear.

Recommended time: 15-30 minutes.

Example of my vision:

I see myself with a smile on my face and I FEEL excited and happy about life and my experiences. I see and feel people around me feeling the same way. My children are laughing and sharing life experiences. I am not judging them, (smile) but loving on them as they are. I see my clients releasing and giggling. They are filled with joy and freedom, I have glimpses of date nights with Scott and it expands my heart. I am grateful for all of the giggles and life-changing a-ha moments with my girlfriends. I see and feel all of the GOOD moments around the world and it feeds my soul. 

2020 Vision

Now that we’ve dealt with 2019, let's focus on how we want to FEEL in 2020! What is your 20/20 vision for next year? How are you going to embrace this new decade? If you’re not sure how to start, here is an exercise to help you.

 Close your eyes and create the feeling. Drop into your heart and feel your inner light expand while taking your time and allowing your energy to get bigger. As you begin to feel expansive and limitless ask, “How do I want to feel this year?” What was the very first word that you received? THAT FIRST WORD is your intention word for 2020. Don't allow the word to throw you off as there is always a deeper meaning. I recently had a client that was a bit perplexed by the word she received: ECHO. Don't you Love how the universe shows up in unexpected ways? When she shared with me, it took me a 1/2 a second and then the cheesiest smile filled my face. The universe was telling her what you put out into the world, you shall receive back. How powerful is that?! The first time I did this, the word I received was OPEN. The universe was telling me when you have an open heart, you accept everyone and everything as he/she/it is. I want more of this in my life!! 

Once you are clear on your intention word, begin to get clear on what you will manifest this coming year to support how you want to feel. Break it into categories, then into subcategories, then into doable steps. Maybe even get an accountability partner to meet with once a month.

As always, keep this doable and fun. 

Much Love,
Dena

Mantra: I honor what I feel!

This Super Power Changes Lives

Sun, 24 Nov 2019 16:44:18 GMT

We Were Never Meant To Do This Alone

December 2019

Empathy is the ability to authentically connect with people by feeling WITH them and so we have a better understanding of their experience. Growing up, some of us were not taught how to have empathy and rather instructed to avoid having uncomfortable emotions. The latter can include feelings of sadness, stress, fear or anything that deviates from emotions associated with the standard presentation of yourself. Emotions are our superpower – they are our instincts but rather than trusting the brain in our heart, we opt for the brain in our head. Yes, we sadly decide to listen to the brain in our head that deviously spends most of the day creating fictional stress-inducing stories.

Sometimes we find ourselves in unexpected and uncomfortable situations and in order to regain control, we decide to educate ourselves thoroughly before allowing support from others. I recently found out that a good friend of mine had a cancer diagnosis since April and that another close girlfriend dealt with a breast cancer scare alone. After finally hearing the news from my friends, I Lovingly yelled at both of them and reminded them that everything is energy. When we go at it alone, all of that energy stays within our bodies and intensifies. When we allow someone to be a witness to our experience, the energy flows, the stuck emotions are released and we feel lighter. The power in allowing people to be present with us in the uncomfortable emotion is called empathy.

Did you know that empathy was a natural reaction until we were told to stop having emotions because it made people uncomfortable? I Love Levi! (18-sec video)

I have witnessed people avoid uncomfortable conversations for YEARS because they are afraid of the "feels". We are emotional beings but why does asking for emotional help feel so gross? Most of us are raised to fear and avoid emotional vulnerability since it’s often perceived to be an indication of weakness. We never want to be a burden, but these suppressed emotions eventually evolve to become stuck energy and will always show up another way such as an illness or an angry outburst. None of those are beneficial to anyone.

So how do we overcome this? Here are a few options to help initiate the conversation.

I have found the best way to ask for help is to not think about the judgment and just begin. Follow Mel Robbins 5-second rule (5 min video), so that you do not talk yourself out of it.

If you need something a little more scripted, try this conversation starter. "Hi friend, this is hard for me, but I have been feeling -insert emotion- do you mind just sitting with me? I don't need you to fix anything. I just want your company." You can also try asking "Have you ever had ‘this’ experience? How did you handle it?"

Maybe talking is too big of a step so allow yourself to start smaller. Many times, I will ask for a long hug or I will give a hug. As I was writing this, I got up to get something and my youngest daughter asked for a hug. Talk about good feelers! I have screwed my kids up in many ways, but all of them will ask for hugs and I Love that.

Now that you’ve initiated contact, what’s next? Everyone will react differently based on their programming or their stress level that day; I know I do. Most of us want to be helpers. We want to be kind, but we find ourselves stressed, so we may react differently on different days. Please receive what you can and don't take how they show up personally. Some will go into their old programming, but most people will sit, BE and breathe with you. Please receive the connection and say thank you. That’s all you have to do. Well, maybe throw in a deep exhale for good measure, but keep the gratitude simple.

I have also found that being a helper has allowed me to open up a bit more with my close friends. To be a helper, I had to become a feeler. THAT is the challenge. Even though it is vulnerable, it is soul-fulfilling. I think Brene Brown explains empathy best. - Please take a moment to watch this video . (3 min)

Humans need humans. We were never meant to do this alone.
Start with you. Begin to practice empathy and watch those around you learn and grow because of your example.

Much Love,
Dena

Mantra: I honor what I feel!

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I Know It's Early, But This Will Help Create Peace

Sat, 02 Nov 2019 14:18:49 GMT

Start with 15 minutes a day

The holiday season is often commercialized as smiling individuals around an elaborate dinner inside a beautifully decorated home. For some, the aforementioned is their reality but for others, it’s a time of loneliness, sadness, stress or anger. Regardless of which group you fall into, keep reading to get some ideas to help you enjoy the season.

For many, the holidays are a time to slow down and spend quality time with family and friends. However, this quality time with family may not be the highlight of your holidays and actually a dreaded reality – it can serve as a reminder of previous quarrels or maybe of loved ones who passed. Since the holidays tend to be highly emotional, our bodies remember those past experiences whether they’re good or bad. If the experiences are on the negative side of the spectrum, our bodies will subconsciously bring that "trauma" back up and it will compound year after year. There’s good news: we don't have to stay in that unsupportive space and pass that heaviness on to our children or loved ones. With patience and practice, we can change our perceptions and experiences of the holidays.

Let’s face it, sometimes it’s easier to focus on the negative. Rather than dwelling on how lonely you plan on being/feeling during the holidays, focus on what can be done to cultivate new connections. Gather a group of friends/family to talk about whatever feeds our soul or to honor a deceased Loved one. Make these experiences about connection and ALLOW it to be fun and easy. Remember, you are the creator of your happiness and there ARE things that you can do to create positive memories.

When my father and I had a falling out, I lost our annual tradition of celebrating Easter together. Change is difficult but can allow for new experiences. My beautiful friend Shana shared my love of tradition and offered to host Easter annually. Since then, she has created the BEST memories for my family and friends. Although this is an extremely busy time for Shana, she plans ahead and allows herself to have fun with it all. I am forever grateful!

Stress on its own has the potential of being very destructive but when coupled with the holiday season, it can be crippling. I have friends who strive for perfection by putting so much pressure on themselves that they just shut down. The shutdown then progresses to avoidance and then impulsiveness which leads to the last-minute purchasing of expensive, unnecessary gifts because of some internal guilt. These actions reinforce the stress. If you’re on a limited budget, don’t forget that some of the best gifts are quality time and experiences. Growing up, we made Christmas ornaments and baked sweet bread as gifts. Never underestimate the pleasure of cooking a meal for family/friends and spending time together. For neighbors, I usually bake cookies and if I dedicate the time, I can even get creative on how I wrap them. The holidays do not have to be expensive.

If you spend 15 minutes today, you can start planning your holidays and reduce the inevitable stress. Here are some guidelines to give you a head start.

Gifts:

Make a list of people that you would like to honor during the holidays
Decide how you would like to do this
Plan an experience
Prepare a meal or bake a treat
Get crafty
Purchase a specific type of gift
Select a budget and stick to it – DO NOT over shop
Plan ahead for sales on this item (e.g., research Black Friday ads the weekend before Thanksgiving and make a plan for those sale items)
Wake up early on Thanksgiving Day and shop online. I put the turkey in the oven and get my online shopping done before everyone else wakes up. Yes, even if I had cocktails with family the night before. I know that this shopping gives me peace of mind.
Team up with a friend or family member and divide and conquer your shopping lists.
Set aside time to wrap and bag gifts way in advance

Family…we all have them and know that some can be more challenging than others but when we sprinkle in the holidays, it can potentially be turbulent. This is where I ask you to BE THE DAMN LIGHT. So how do I recommend you cope? First, do not create any stories. Do not feed your mind with what happened in the past and get yourself all worked up. It's over and done and can't be changed. (I used to start getting anxious days in advance and subconsciously take it out on my husband. - We are funny creatures.) Remember, everyone needs and desires Love! Sometimes they don't know how to receive it based on their own "traumatic" experiences, so they create chaos but don't feed into that energy. Set intentions for the day and remind yourself throughout the day that it's safe to be you and come from your heart. The holidays are not the time to have political or deep discussions. It is highly likely that NO ONE is going to change their way of thinking, so don't engage. If someone chooses to shame or upset you, simply state, "That didn't feel good. I want to feel good today, so let's talk about topics that connect us instead of divide us. No one needs to be upset or shamed today."

You can always THINK before you speak:

T - Is it TRUE

H - Is it HELPFUL

I - Is it INSPIRING

N - Is it NICE

K - Is it KIND

Let's create new positive emotional memories that support how we do want to feel during the holidays. Start now!

Much Love,
Dena

Mantra: I am Peace!

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Signs from Spirit

Wed, 25 Sep 2019 22:47:15 GMT

Learn to recognize the signs. They are everywhere!

"Spirit" can have different meanings based on life experiences. As you read this newsletter, apply the definition that suits you best such as Loved ones, Guardian angels or Divine energy.

I often find that Spirit is present with me throughout the day, especially during my client sessions. I simply serve as a conduit for Spirit's energy to flow. This week I was blessed to have clients share some of their session experiences with me and illustrate the impact of Spirit's presence. One client said she felt a power surge from my thumbs and then suddenly, she was filled with beautiful white light. Another client shared, "They're all here. All of my family is here and I can feel them! I have never been able to feel them before!" Many clients may only feel warm hands. I never know what the client is experiencing unless it is shared. — I feel subtle movements and shifts of energy and/or the vibration from my hands, but I am often kept in the dark during sessions.

From Spirit, I ask for signs that I'm heading in the right direction. Once I receive a sign, I say thank you and move on. One of my first experiences receiving a sign was via a nightlight in my chiropractor's bathroom. Almost 20 years ago, I was considering taking a class I thought I needed to be valuable in this field; I did not have the money and was fretting. As I was having these thoughts in the bathroom, the nightlight began to flicker and I took it as a sign. I asked, if I am not meant to take the class, please flicker again. It did. I did not take the class and have zero regrets.

Spirit rarely comes through with huge shiny lights. I was blessed with such an obvious sign, but they usually are very subtle so you must pay attention! Experiences like this happen to everyone, but if we are not conscious of the signs, we will never see or feel them. Some of the more obvious signs are:

finding coins (especially pennies)

hearing songs that remind you of your loved ones

electricity being manipulated in some way such as flickering lights or finding a light turned on when you're positive you turned it off

feeling like a hair or a bug is on you when it isn't

seeing butterflies or dragonflies

noticing the same object over and over such as yellow roses

seeing creative cloud formations

having certain smells come in out of nowhere that remind you of your loved ones

seeing a series of numbers (my friend Kim will see 912 everywhere – her loved one passed on September 12th)

I believe that we have free will, but Spirit will come through and help guide us as often as possible without interrupting our experiences too much. One of my most memorable experiences with signs was when I considering manifesting a Hyundai Sonata Hybrid instead of the BMW that I was bragging about while teaching my "Infinite Possibilities" class. I thought a BMW as the fancy car I should manifest, but it never felt right for me. After having this discussion with another class, I was inspired to go for the Hyundai Sonata Hybrid. I didn't want to feel like I was shrinking down, so I asked for a sign. The very next morning, I saw an article headline referencing a rapper who chose to keep it simple and drive a Honda Accord; it was about LL Cool J – that was my sign! As I was driving to work that morning, a car turned right in front of me cutting me off. Since it caught me off-guard, I took notice of the vehicle and it was a Hyundai Sonata. It put a big smile on my face and thanked Spirit for another sign. As I was turning onto a busy street, a butterfly crossed my windshield; at the time in my life, the butterfly represented change. I started to think about what I would tell my "Infinite Possibilities" class now and was excited by all of the magic. I was almost to work and realized I hadn't even turned on the radio. As I turned it on, I heard "Hey Lover" by LL Cool J and tears of happiness rolled down my face.

Please allow the process to be easy. Don't overthink it. When I teach how to connect with Spirit, I spend the majority of the class getting you out of your head and into the possibilities of the magic that is all around you. Allow yourself to embrace the magic!

Please ask for a sign and as soon as you hear yourself ask, is that a sign? TAKE IT AS A SIGN. The more you pay attention, the more signs you will begin to receive.

Mantra: I am claiming all of the signs that I receive!

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I Need to Quiet the Voices in My Head!

Sun, 25 Aug 2019 14:25:07 GMT

My Thoughts are out of Control

We’ve all been there before – we have these conversations in our heads with ourselves where we’re reenacting situations or maybe using a toxic tone. This my friends is called getting in your head and it wreaks havoc. Can you imagine how peaceful the world would be if we stopped listening to those negative, unruly voices in our head? Those voices that keep us up at night and have the ability to turn an innocuous situation into world-ending catastrophes.

Sometimes the voices are triggered when you least expect them. Like when you’re running errands and drive past a woman in a flower dress that reminds you of something Mrs. Jackson wore. It all begins to unravel in your head and you start defending yourself to Mrs. Jackson. You give her an earful and make sure to include all of your accomplishments since that last time you saw her. But in reality, Mrs. Jackson can't hear you and she doesn’t even remember you. So let’s try this again. When spotting your own “Mrs. Jackson” in the wild, say to yourself: “Hi Mrs. Jackson, I am so blessed you taught me to appreciate my self-worth. Bye Mrs. Jackson!” Give her the peace sign, turn up the music in your car and let the dance party begin - this will raise your vibration.

Other times the voices begin to chatter and remind us of our relationship with food. It’s lunchtime and you opt for the burger and fries knowing that salad is the better option. Even before taking your first bite, you "poison" your food with thoughts like, "This is going to make me fat. I am going to be so tired after I eat this. I will never have the body I want. My dad was right – I am a failure.” Give yourself a break and instead try this before eating: “I am excited to taste this burger and fries. Thank you 'Powerful Spirit' for this food that I will enjoy. I bless you with Love." Then remind yourself to stick with your other daily goals (e.g., drink your 120oz of water, eat lot of fresh vegetables at dinner). Keep it easy, enjoyable and simple.

These voices have an uncanny talent to show up uninvited on a weeknight at 3 AM. You wake up, feel a sudden sense of doom and begin to worry that your peacefully sleeping partner could have a heart attack or that the political climate will lead to the world’s destruction. It may feel difficult to ground yourself but try saying this: “In the morning, I will share this fear and do my best to inspire my partner to make healthier decisions. I don't have control over this right now but we are safe.” Or maybe, “I can't change all of politics, but tomorrow I will look into that non-profit group I like and volunteer. I don't have a lot of time but I will also donate to that other group that appears to be creating the change I like to see. I am safe at this moment. It is safe to go back to sleep.”

You DO NOT have to listen to the negative voices in your head! Sometimes you have to tell them to shut up and focus on what does feed your soul – this is known as my flip and turn method. Thoughts have a vibration. Like vibrations attract like vibrations. Thoughts like, "I'm depressed. Poor me. No one cares. I have to do it all." only attract more of the same. You can't expect to feel good when this is always present in your subconscious mind. You have to be CONSCIOUS and flip these thoughts to something that feels good. Allow yourself to create new conscious habits that free your mind.

If this is challenging for you and you would like to begin to manifest good feeling thoughts, now is the time to enroll in my Infinite Possibilities Class that starts in November. -Ting!

Love and hugs,
Dena

Mantra: I am the creator of my reality!

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This Can't Be Happening

Mon, 29 Jul 2019 21:39:00 GMT

This Can't Be Happening

Comfort zones are those familiar places, people and ideas that we grow attached to and feel disoriented once the slightest change occurs. Often times, we are forced to change but sometimes we intentionally or naturally move ourselves out of those zones.

When I started my business, it was about the energy work with psychic and medium readings – I’m not that person anymore. My work has evolved over the years to be more emotionally influenced to read, feel and understand the emotional aspect of our energy. This business shift feeds my soul and I was receptive to that transition.

Sometimes a shift from our comfort zone can be compounded by unrelated situations. Take the following for example:

My phenomenal virtual assistant, Tracey, gave her notice – she had begun a new journey and was opening herself to new possibilities. Understandably, my heart was excited for her and I knew she was making the right decision for herself, but I was saddened for the ending of our season. I will miss her supernatural ability to read my thoughts and know my vision before seeing it myself.

The evening of Tracey’s resignation, I decided to look at my MailChimp account and prepare for the next newsletter – a task that formerly belonged to Tracey. After logging in, I quickly discovered there were no active subscribers. I contacted customer service and had the following exchange:

Customer service representative: What I'm hearing is you read the disclosure that stated this would permanently delete all subscribers with no potential to recover the information. Thereafter, you proceeded to type the word “DELETE” to confirm this action.

Me: Yes, but I only thought it was deleting the "unsubscribers" that were listed on that page and not also the 1,800 active subscribers.

Customer service representative: Unfortunately, when it stated that it would be deleting all of the subscribers, it actually meant ALL.

It was a very unexplainable moment. I was overwhelmed and queasy. After coming to terms with my situation, I recalled the last time I felt like this, magic was created – energy was opened and I embraced something new. What I previously lost was my "day job" and affordable office space within 4 days of each other. However, what I gained was a more central office location and the ability to go full time with my business. Having been here before, I knew there was a lesson. I bypassed the "poor me, why is this happening?" question because it was simply a waste of energy. I focused on moving forward and accepting the challenges that awaited me.

I asked:

Where do I go from here?
What changes will I create?
What am I going to manifest next?
What is opening up for me?

I honored:

Allowing my body to process new feelings without creating stories.
Embracing the change – not resisting it.
Trusting the journey.
Getting excited because it will completely change the experience.

The "Poor me, why is this happening" resurfaced occasionally but I had to proactively turned my thoughts to, “I'm excited to see where I go now”. I was not allowing the doubt to root itself and add any limiting beliefs.

Tracey knew that she had to completely release her comfort so that she could allow herself to embrace the possibilities. She is wise like that. I, unfortunately, needed another kick in the ass.

Within a few days of feeling bombarded by unfortunate news, I transferred my contacts from my scheduling program and removed clients that I was aware had previously unsubscribed. (Note: I apologize if you unsubscribed and you need to do it again.) I am also happy to announce that I have hired a new badass virtual assistant who is excited to take on my craziness.

By sharing my experiences with you, I hope that if you ever do find yourself in a situation that feels unbearable, there is always light if you move forward. Please remember: When it feels like everything is falling apart, it is just an experience. Don't feed the experience with hypothetical negative stories. You can't step into the magic of life if you are going to be giving value to the negativity.

This is a journey of the soul. Focus on thoughts and actions that feel good so you can continue to wake up a new person every day who is not afraid to embrace each unique experience.

Love and hugs,
Dena

Mantra: I am open to change and the magic I create!

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One Step at a Time

Tue, 02 Jul 2019 22:16:09 GMT

One Step at a Time

During the women's retreat that I helped host in May, I had suggested to my friend, Lesley, that she do the Manitou Springs Incline because I know she likes a good challenge. During a two and a half hour break, she asked if I wanted to do the Incline with her and I’m pretty sure I said something like, “yes…..I hate you”.

She just kind of looked at me, smiled, and said, “okay - let's go!”.

(This was my third time hiking the Incline in Manitou Springs and for those of you who are not familiar, it is about 2800 steps straight up a mountainside. It truly is NO joke!)

As the two of us ascended, I told her that she could go ahead of me as I knew she would be faster. At first she didn't want to leave me but, as time went on, she allowed herself to move ahead. She explained later that, had the roles been reversed, she would have wanted someone else to do the same. I think we both understood that it was our own journey to undertake and we had to take it with our own steps, at our own pace.

About half way up the mountain, it occurred to me that I hadn't even looked up. When I finally took a moment to stop and look ahead to take stock of my progress, I was bluntly reminded why I hadn’t done so until that point. Having done this hike before, I knew this journey required taking things step by step, or the overwhelm would take over and I would want to give up.

Every time I have done the incline in the past, I knew at a deep level that I would finish. It is just not an option for me not to finish. That's just my personality for something like this. Now, do I have that same perseverance when I'm trying to conquer a cleaning project? No! That's why I married my husband <smile>. He is detail-oriented and he will always kick my butt until it's done (or will end up shoving me aside and just finish it himself….. LOL).

At times, when we look at the big picture of the task or goal we are looking to undertake, we find ourselves so overwhelmed that we don't even want to start. When we break things up into doable steps, however, it is most often simple and very doable!

When we jump in and just take action, without trying to think of creative ways on how or why we can't do it, it gets done. I spent years talking myself out of my business and goals I had for myself, but when I finally decided to be all-in and to stop measuring my success based purely on the income received, some serious magic happened!

I chose to quit putting a time limit on myself. It was just too much pressure and frequently stopped me from doing anything at all. To make sure that action does take place, however, I set small goals and create action steps, which keeps me moving forward to support the experiences that I want. (I do put a time limit on my action steps).

I also stopped attempting to keep up with the “Business Jones.” I put a cork in the voices in my head breeding self-doubt by telling me I need online classes, videos, etc. etc. Aaaaghhh. I recognized that what I really was to just be in the moment and stop putting so much on my to do list! This realization also released a lot of pressure that I was putting on myself, which allowed me to focus on what truly mattered to me and to enjoy the moments. Especially the magic moments of our sessions.

So...

What do YOU want?
What STEP can you take today?
This week?
This month?

Focus on what you CAN do and don't even bother looking to the top of the mountain – unless or until you are taking the time to visualize yourself standing on top with a smile on your face, feeling absolute joy!

(Visualization is HIGHLY recommended as it helps you to create the feeling in your body which is needed for you to manifest your magic.)

I am challenging you to:

Get Clear!
Write it Down!
Take a Step!
Visualize and FEEL it as if it is happening!
Take another step - and don't stop until you are in the magic.
Let's do this!
YOU GOT THIS!

Much love,
Dena

Mantra: I am taking daily steps to create the life I want to experience.

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Daddy Issues

Mon, 03 Jun 2019 17:03:13 GMT

Daddy Issues

A few days after Thanksgiving, I vividly remember passing the elementary school in my neighborhood the moment the feeling come over me. It felt beautiful and light-hearted, and I remember asking, "What is this?"

"FREEDOM!" I heard myself respond.

In that moment of realization, "Soldier of Love" by Sade came across the radio. The song carries a lot of meaning for me, and I burst into tears, thanking my spirit guides for the perfect sign. I was validated in my choice to have released my father nine years ago and, at that moment, was experiencing total and utter energetic freedom.

Last October, one of my repeat clients that did not have a relationship with her father kept wondering why this was?

- Why wasn't she enough?
- Why did he do this and not do that?

Stories were being created in her head while trying to understand his choices. I suggested that she ask her dad directly why she hadn't been enough - instead of creating her own, likely false, explanation (read her story in the article below to see what happened).

I later shared this client experience with a girlfriend who also missed out on a relationship with her father. Out of curiosity, we decided to make a pact and ask our fathers why we hadn't been enough for them. I sent my father a text message on Thanksgiving, and the short version of his response was, "YOU WON" (it was even capitalized in the text).

- What the hell does that even mean?!
- Our relationship was not a game?!

We exchanged communication and I was sincerely asking for some explanation, but ended up with him repeating "YOU WON."

After the text exchange, I shook my head with confusion, but also somehow with some sense of understanding. I celebrated that I did not get hot even once - and THAT was big for me. We are on different journeys now, and the roles we "played" for one another are done. I am very proud that, many years ago, I decided to no longer have any conversations in my head attempting to prove my value to him and that, as a matter of fact, it was the situation with him that initiated that "superpower" within me.

It's interesting how whenever there is an emotional charge, a memory is usually created. It is because of this that I have another vivid memory around my father. – One of driving on Quebec Street and telling myself, "you only have three minutes to prove your value in your head with him." After those three minutes, I forced myself to stop - and it worked! It took persistence and effort over a few weeks, but I was committed to the process because I knew that he wasn't going to change - and I wanted to make sure to only spend my energy on things that I could control, such as my happiness. This is one of the most freeing things I have ever done for myself and it began a snowball effect of me taking control of the crazy voice in my head that likes to make up stories. I know this is a life-long endeavor, but it continues to get better over time. (See?! I do practice what I preach!)

Regardless of the situation, I am faced with, I do my best to control where my energy goes!

For many years, I found Father's Day very difficult, so I felt it appropriate to share my story this month. There will always be a touch of wonder and confusion, but right now, I don't feel any of that. I know that I will continue to release energy around my father. His spirit still shows up when I receive my own energy clearings, but I feel the freedom more than I ever have, and for that, I am very grateful.

Most of us have been "poisoned" in one way or another by our life experiences, but we can CHOOSE to turn that poison into our antidote. We can choose to allow the cycle to stop with us!

THE CYCLE CAN STOP WITH US!

We are the ancestral antidote. I'm so blessed to witness you do this for yourselves in sessions. I don't care how creative we have to get or how long it takes, as long as we are consciously taking control of our negative-feeling thoughts. It's not easy because we know that the stories have become part of us, but let's do what we do and...

BE THE DAMN LIGHT!

Much Love,
Dena

Mantra: I am embracing all of my gifts.

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The Gift - A Client Story

Wed, 01 May 2019 14:28:45 GMT

The Gift - A Client Story

When I initially wrote this, I did not intend to share this much, but Paige gave me permission to use her name, so I want you to get to know her by sharing a touch of her "story"… (and because I know that the insights she gained will speak to many of you.)

Paige initially came to see me for Anger Management. We have been working together fairly frequently for a few months now and when she first arrived, she sincerely wanted to do better – to be better. She could not figure out "what was wrong with her" because the anger and rage would just take over at times.

With each session, we would remove more and more layers. Her gentle, caring soul now shines brightly. Some days I just want to jump on the table and cuddle her -ok, I want to do that with many of you. (Insert smile here.)

Paige is only in her mid-twenties - and I am utterly jealous of the beauty she is finding in herself and in others. She is practicing self-compassion, presence, self-awareness and patience, all before most people reach a point in life to even realize that’s a "thing"?! At her age, I was still in an "I know everything" cycle. (Insert puke face here.)

She IS creating the life that she wants to experience. She will experience pure joy and happiness more often than the anger that was keeping her safe. I am beyond happy for her.

To give you a bit of insight, here is a blurb of one of her sessions.

“Dena, I’ve been crying all morning. I am so frustrated. My boyfriend said that I need to get friends of my own. That we are too co-dependent. I have friends, just not close friends here (in Colorado). It’s just me and my boss at the office, so I don’t have the opportunity like he does to make friends at work.”

More information was shared here, but it boils down to Paige’s boyfriend essentially shaming her a bit so that he wouldn’t feel guilty about going out with his friends. We talked it over and I helped her understand that it had nothing to do with her boyfriend’s judgment of her and that it was more about him feeling bad about leaving her alone, so he created stories to make himself feel better about the situation.

The question is, why was she upset about him wanting more space? She told me that she can be alone just fine. Paige says that she Loves her routine and she needs it, in fact. She said it keeps her feeling safe. She enjoys coming home from work, making dinner and just relaxing… Right? (The tears flowed as she shared this.)

I asked her, “why do you think you are being triggered?”

Paige exhaled like most of you do with my questions and said, “Maybe I’m not ok with being alone.” – she felt this response. (Insert her DAMNIT face here).

And there it was!

Self-realization can be a bitch. It can be painful and ugly. However, Paige decided to be with it – All of it! She chose to feel and honor it instead of pushing it down and pretending like it didn’t exist or even affect or upset her. She began to gently unwrap each delicate and sometimes HEAVY layer of this gift.

As we continued our work together, we discovered more and more we did some tapping (performed EFT) around the fear of change. Paige allowed herself to feel the fear of judgment and the unknown; it flowed through her and she released it. As a result, she became lighter and found the gem in her new awareness.

If we dig deep enough, there is ALWAYS a gift.

Paige had plans to go to Yoga with a new “friend,” that night, but was quietly planning to cancel so she could just go home, cook dinner and relax. After she embraced her new gift of self-realization, she was excited to go outside of her comfort zone. She texted me later that evening and said that it was “phenomenal!”

Paige was ready for this level of clearing because of the other work that she had done. There would have been no way she would have even entertained this concept if she hadn’t already experienced the freedom from her previous sessions. Paige comes to each energy clearing with a half-smile – she’s ready but….

This work is NOT easy. It’s layers and layers of what we think is protection, but with each layer is a new gift.

A new freedom. Lightness and empowerment.

Feeling our own AAUUUGGGGHHHH is entirely different when we are in it. It’s thick and disgusting. The hotness builds and our instinct wants to push it down and pretend like we don’t care, but when we take the time to ask the difficult questions, when we practice discernment (read my blog about this here) to allow ourselves to feel the pain and discomfort, we release the B.S. story that we thought was keeping us safe. We are lighter and more open to what the world is offering.

Oh, what a beautiful gift!

Much Love,
Dena

Mantra: I am embracing all of my gifts.

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Where Are You Going?

Mon, 01 Apr 2019 14:14:46 GMT

Where Are You Going?

It’s been a rough several months for me and my family. We've gone through so many changes, so much anger, sadness, disappointments, frustrations, lost expectations. There are times when I wonder if I will ever get over this. Will it ever get better?

Last month, I saw a post that Dena had sent out on her Light of Mine page that said, “If you don’t know where you are going, even distractions look like opportunities.” I thought, yep that’s good for people who are working on their life goals and aspirations - but not where I am right now. But it kept sticking to me. I kept thinking about that quote. I realized that it actually applied to me right now, where I am going in this very rough time.

So, where am I going right now? I’m going THROUGH something. I am traveling through pain, depression, anger, fear, and loss. And oh, how much a distraction would feel SO great! Something or someone to make me feel better, to take the pain away. I could easily see where I might think a distraction is something that is meant to happen, or as an opportunity that’s really not an opportunity. But we will tell ourselves just about anything to make the pain stop as soon as possible.

However, even though a distraction would be so great and feel so good, it would keep me from getting where I am going, where I need to be. It would slow any progress I have made, or cause the end of the pain to take longer. It would prolong the great things that are coming my way. Or it would cause me to walk into those good things unprepared and with leftover baggage that doesn’t belong there.

So, I know where I am going, but in order to get there, I have to go through this. I want to get through it. I have to fight against the distractions, the desperate feeling of looking for a quick (and temporary) reprieve. I want to reach my destination without a lot of casualties, so I will let the opportunities come to me from a place of peace, not from a place of desperate distraction.

Mantra: I focus on where I am going.

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Clarity in Confidence

Mon, 04 Mar 2019 18:23:24 GMT

Clarity in Confidence

If she is rolling her eyes at you, I guarantee there's nothing wrong with you.

She is feeling bad about herself.

If he is shaming you or trying to pump up his chest, I promise that it's because he's being triggered. He is feeling insecure. Don't give your power to people who lack confidence in themselves. Try sending them Love instead - because they are already their own worst enemy.

We benefit the most when we pay attention to our personal judgments and triggers – the stuff that makes up OUR crap. Becoming aware and interrupting our patterns of belief (and the behaviors that follow them) can create immense clarity and dramatically improve our confidence. If we catch ourselves judging, we need to pause and put up a mirror to gain some insight:

• What is it about this person or situation that is making us uncomfortable?

• What situation from our past is surfacing or being triggered?

When we take the time to recognize and clear our own triggers and judgments, we create real growth and freedom. We become less attached to what others think of us and can begin to experience life on a much higher level.

Another example of this is thinking that we need to somehow characterize our friends so that they won't be judged. In the past, I was guilty of this as well. It was my belief that in order for my friend’s truest beauty to be seen, I needed to soften or frame what might be interpreted as a flaw or weakness. Before their introduction, I would say things like, "He's a little rough around the edges, but...”, or “She's a bit awkward, but...”

But WHAT?! That was ME judging! Good intentions or not, I was obviously fearing judgment – even if it was on behalf of someone else. Our insecurities can really take on a life of their own if we don't pause to question our ego in moments of discomfort.

From my experience, the difference between high self-esteem and self-confidence is that high self-esteem is affiliated with the ego. More often than not, when a person is fearful of others finding out they are insecure, they hide behind a persona of having high self-esteem. They need to feel validated, acknowledged and/or be seen in a certain way by something or someone outside of themselves.

Confidence has a different vibration, however. It appears in the ability to see others exactly as they are – and where they are – AND to be okay with it (not feeling any need to change the situation or person, or to somehow frame it to soften the blow, or try to protect anyone from anything). Not needing someone else to show up a certain way in our life so that we can feel safe, but rather letting them show up as they are, knowing that we, too, are enough as we are, is the epitome of presence and confident living.

Confidence is humble, and it's human. It doesn't need anyone or anything to validate it. There is nothing sexier than someone making a mistake and saying,

"Well damn! That sucked."

No cover-up, no excuses, no blaming, just sexy humanness!

Let's be present.
Let's be kind.
Let's be human.
….and let’s be sexy this month!

Love and hugs,
Dena

Mantra: Everyone and Everything is Perfect!

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Freedom to Focus

Tue, 05 Feb 2019 18:25:44 GMT

Freedom to Focus

“MOMMY! Get off your phone!!” (Leyara screamed)

"It's a client - just a minute..." (was my response)

I was GLUED!
I was NEEDED by social media!
I was NAKED without my phone!

Experiences create memories and memories are formed by the ways we choose to spend our time.

Would I really rather spend my time scrolling through Facebook for an hour and commenting on everyone's posts so that they knew I cared, or would it feel better to sit with a friend - BE with a friend - and have lunch for an hour and take in some memorable moments?

I have been more conscious of how I have been spending my time lately because my calendar has been booking up so very quickly. My phone has always charged in another room at night, so I'm definitely not being woken up by ‘dings’. During the day, however, is another story!

Dings and vibrations had taken over.

I had been spending a lot of my time on social media, news, texts, and emails. Every time there was a ding, I would stop what I was doing and check my phone because “I have a business to run you know?!”

BUT….

I also have a family to raise - and inspiring humans to connect with. I began to question what would happen if I turned off the ‘dinger’ and only checked it a few times a day? Well, that was the intention... (I definitely check it more than a "few" times!)

So, I did it...and the world did not come to an end!

People did not reach out to me upset because I didn't comment on their social media post.

People did not even freak out when I didn't immediately respond to their text messages.

I now have more time to truly FOCUS! What a concept, right? Uninterrupted deep thoughts and focus! (Insert meditation gong here!)

Don't get me wrong, I'm still a work in progress, but this feels REALLY good - and I truly hope I'm able to keep up with it!

We decided to implement ‘Screen-Free-Wednesday’ at my house in the evening. I thought my son was going to completely lose it and not be able to make it through, but he is still breathing (gasp!) - and perhaps even a little bit more educated from the books that he is now reading! Leyara LOVES it. She pulled out her clay - and Hayden actually played with her (something she had been complaining about never happening anymore).

Doing this has brought me back to myself more often, and has opened up much more time freedom to really be present with my family and friends. It has allowed me to quiet my mind and to just be, instead of having to set a time to meditate as my only means of quieting everything.

This month, I challenge you to:

Set aside a few hours of screen-free time at least one night or day a week;
Turn off notifications on your devices so that you can respond on your schedule;
Consider scheduled times to check your devices/email/social media, etc.;
Be conscious of time-wasters and make different choices, (I was guilty of cyber "window shopping"….. YIKES!); and
Don't immediately respond to everyone and everything.

Give yourself permission to have uninterrupted focus again and watch how your schedule (and life!) changes…

Much Love,
Dena

Mantra: I am excited and present!

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Only I Can Change the Now

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Thu, 03 Jan 2019 18:48:22 GMT

Only I Can Change the Now

This past year, I had intended on losing at least 10 pounds.

I took small action steps to make it happen and I allowed it to be doable - without feeling like it was work. I succeeded in losing 7 pounds!

…I also succeeded in gaining 5 of those pounds back during the holiday season. So… I officially lost 2 pounds! Woohoo!!

It is December 26th as I write this and I literally just got back from a 5-mile walk/run. Yesterday, we stayed in our jammies and laid around all day long - and I have yet another holiday party to attend this coming weekend.

I have learned to stop being such a control freak aiming for perfection and to instead do my best to begin again in each moment. I don't allow myself to go into the "should have"s or "could have"s because it doesn't change the now: only I can change the now.

If you have been with me a while, you know I always have an intention word for each year, (click here to read my blog titled, "What Do You Want to Experience in the New Year? How Do You Want to Feel?" to see an example of how to choose an intention word and how to move forward).

My intention word for last year was CONNECTION. Because of my children's crazy schedules, I ended up having to turn down many opportunities to connect with many amazing people, but I also know that if I had forced myself to engage in the additional activities, I wouldn't have been able to be "present" because I would have had too much on my mind. That’s just how it goes sometimes.

Despite feeling like I missed out on many opportunities, I am able to look back on lots of incredible moments - connecting with so many of you, my friends and family on such an enlightening level! For that, I am giving myself a pat on the back. I did just fine! (You see how I keep focusing on what I did well?)

So…..what are we going to accomplish in 2019?

For me, well, I at least have to lose those 10 pounds, right?! Below is a basic format that I use to help myself get clear on all of my intentions - while adding easily doable steps and timelines if needed to make each year more fulfilling. Use what works for you. That could be a journal, a white board, sticky notes, an accountability partner, whatever it is that keeps you engaged.

Here are some of my doable steps for my weight loss goals:
• wear my Fitbit and get at least 10,000 steps per day or more (this means I have to take daily walk/runs)
• compete with friends on Map My Run
• commit to abdominal exercises15 minutes a day, three times per week
• drink at least 100 oz of water per day
• chew gum between meals
• continue to follow the healthy menu on emeals.com at least three times per week (my kids love me for this one!)
I’m sure you get the idea. I use weight loss just as an example because it's easy (and a common one for many), but you can certainly adapt this format for whatever your goal is.

I am still working to set my specific 2019 intentions, but my word this year is INSPIRED. When you are finding and setting your thematic word for yourself for the year, allow it to be a feeling within your body. In order to manifest anything, you have to feel the energy first. And as always, keep it positive!

Overall, I have learned that you accomplish a lot more by setting intentions and goals. There is no need for dramatics though – just allow them to be fun, doable, and a good source of growth.

Thanks for being so damn beautiful! I appreciate you!

Happy 2019!!

Let's embrace KINDNESS in 2019!

Stay inspired!

Mantra: Only I can change the now!

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Leave Your Excuses in 2018

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Mon, 10 Dec 2018 22:43:31 GMT

Leave Your Excuses in 2018

This is the Change that your Body and Mind are Craving!

I have had some pretty lousy sinus issues for a few years now, but this past year was beyond unbearable! I generally like to carry around a few physical ailments so that I can say poor me when I subconsciously don't want to show up in life. The physical ailment ALWAYS comes through at the worst possible time. The "poor me" has become part of who I am (I am definitely the wounded healer archetype).

Call me wild and crazy, but after a lifetime of “poor me's,” I made the conscious decision in November that, I AM DONE!

I had a fit in my journal and decided that I am releasing this reoccurring B.S. story (which I had previously claimed as part of my DNA).

It's not me anymore!
I AM DONE and I now say I'M WELL!
I say it about a 1000 times a day - even when I want to cry in pity and pain!

And….. guess what? IT’S WORKING!
Isn't it funny what we can accomplish when we are "all in"?!

Do you have a crappy excuse that you subconsciously pull out when you don't want to show up? (It's usually your "I can'ts” followed by your victim thought...”I can't because I have to take care of everyone else…, I can't because I have this addiction..., I can't because it makes me uncomfortable - so I will make it uncomfortable for everyone else, I can't because I always have to fight for it….).
You get the idea.

Are YOU ready to be done too?

Imagine who you will become without this thought holding you back?!
Imagine how it will feel in your body?
Imagine how your thoughts will become more positive?
Imagine the ripple effect that you will have on those around you?
You just have to decide and keep your eyes on the prize.

Allow it to be easy by coming up with a mantra that will bring you back to "center" as needed [**Take a moment to journal about the above questions for yourself**].

Join me in ending this year by releasing your excuses and doing whatever it takes to retrain your brain and body to embrace a more fulfilling approach to life!

Wouldn't it be awesome to leave the excuses in 2018, so that 2019 can be all about fresh beginnings?! You know this year has seen crazy growth, so let's end it with some freedom! Laying in the sun, hands behind our head, smile on our face.

See it! Feel it! Smell it! Know it! Claim it!

If this is resonating with you, then you MUST watch the video that I recently shared with my Infinite Possibilities Class (watch the video HERE "HEAL: The Feeling Creates the Healing" with Dr. Joe Dispenza ).

It is a game changer!
You ARE doing this!

Much love,
Dena

Mantra: I am ______! What is YOUR personal mantra this month that will bring you back to center? Choose your Mantra and write it down so you will see it every day!

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She Makes Me Feel So Vulnerable

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Wed, 31 Oct 2018 13:06:23 GMT

She Makes Me Feel So Vulnerable

Why do we always have to mess with Joy?! Why can't we allow ourselves to embrace Joy all day? Every day?!

She shows up, we have fun, smile authentically, and abundantly share her for everyone to take in. We are singing and dancing with Joy!

And then... It gets weird. We suddenly get uncomfortable.

WHAT IF SOMEONE TAKES JOY FROM US? There is no way that we can allow that to happen. We better do something. We have to know what to expect, so we are safe.

Let’s invite in Fear! No one wants to hang out for long with Fear!
Let’s have pity parties.
Let’s create stories in our head that make us anxious.

Our thoughts go into lack…….and our experiences follow.

Yes, we need the negative to appreciate the positive, but what if we intentionally allowed Joy to hang out daily - and for more extended periods of time?

What if we began our morning consciously inviting her to hang out for the ENTIRE day?! Can you imagine how our every day would feel?

Me: Joy, ya want to hang out for the entire day?!

Joy: Of course, but who are you fooling? The last time we tried that you lasted 3 hours and 2 minutes.

Me: Well, I started to feel guilty. My friend was having a bad day and she made me think about my own "poor me" moments.

Joy: And?! Why do you have to do that? Why do you sabotage yourself? What does it matter what others are experiencing?

Me: I don't know, I guess it allows me to relate.

Joy: Relate?! Seriously? We both know that you can experience empathy and then come back to me. I am only a thought away! You preach that all the time. The truth is, I make you feel vulnerable. Being joy-filled makes you feel as if something terrible has to happen, so you create an experience to match that fear, which robs you of my magic.

Me: ...

Joy: Something "bad" doesn't always have to happen. Allow yourself to see moments as experiences. You do not have to create the "bad." I challenge you to bathe in the fun and allow your experiences to flow. Allow yourself to authentically be with me for longer periods each day and be conscious of when you begin to feel unsafe.

Me: Maybe every time I catch myself creating drama stories I can just say, "Not today! - Joy is my one and only for this day!” That could at least allow me to be conscious of the negative default setting I created and allow us to hang out for more extended periods of time. Thank you, Joy. I am consciously making an effort to feel safe with you!

Joy: ‘Bout damn time. Let’s do this!

No holiday drama.
Let’s hang with JOY - all damn month!

This month’s newsletter was inspired by Gay Hendrick’s book, “The Big Leap.” (Thank you for the suggestion, Jennifer S.) and Brene Brown’s new book, “Dare to Lead.”

I learned the power of journal dialog by my friend and a fellow “Embrace” retreat instructor Cyndi Stewart. www.rootcausehealthsolutions.com

I highly recommend all three.

Mantra: I consciously allow joy to flow.

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By Your Light, You Shall Be Known

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Thu, 27 Sep 2018 16:53:14 GMT

By Your Light, You Shall Be Known

I am in Utah attending the fourth and final session of School of the Soul as I write this.

I feel blessed and honored to have been learning from Brian Robertson and Simon James, along with some astonishing peers these past two years. The training has pulled me out of my comfort zone, challenged my abilities, and allowed me to embrace spirit even more.

This is the first intuitive/medium class that I have taken since 2005. I have always asked my "Guides" to be my teachers, and I have not been disappointed. They continue to give me endless insight while they gently remind me to set my ego aside.

They help me to ask all the questions that force me to go deep.

They are my magic muscle!

However, the recent classes that I have taken have not just taught me new methods and opened my spirit, but more than anything, they have given me SO MUCH validation.

The School of the Soul has validated the integrity that I do my best to share with you. This work can be pretty cool, but if I make it about me, it will never work.

It's about our individual soul journeys - our personal life lessons.

Over this course, Brian has often said, "By your light, you shall be known" - and I find myself repeating that because it resonates with me for obvious reasons.

I see your light - even when you can't!

I LOVE that we do the "work" together.
I LOVE that you embrace your truth even when you want to hit me.
I LOVE that most of you enjoy the self-discovery journey as much as I do.
I LOVE that you embrace your light and don’t shy away from your greatness.
I LOVE that I learn from you daily and cuss in my head at times from the lessons you teach me.
I LOVE that we are shining a little brighter together.

I guess I wanted to say, THANK YOU for being such great teachers as well.

“By your light, you shall be known.”

Mantra: By my light, I shall be known.

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Those shoes are my antidepressant!

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Tue, 04 Sep 2018 16:21:55 GMT

Those shoes are my antidepressant!

The world has felt a little crazy and disconnected as of late. In a divisive environment, it is often easy to bury ourselves in our own interests and material wants and needs in order to keep feeling safe and free from any possible vulnerability.

When I first joined Pinterest, you actually had to be invited by somebody and in the beginning, I loved it! I learned so many different ways to clean my house and organize my kitchen, but I also came to realize how many things I didn't have that I absolutely needed. I would see a cute pair of shoes and this feeling would come up in me... a desire would seriously begin to build up. I HAD TO have those darn shoes - I wouldn’t be complete without them?! I needed MORE... more stuff so that I could feel worthy, sexy – and even complete. After a while, I realized all of the yearning was actually only making me feel incomplete.

I know well that all of the answers are within, but I also know the power of material therapy – and sometimes it can actually last for weeks. Those shoes can be pretty powerful!

Fortunately, I got clear on what was happening for me and now I now only jump on Pinterest for recipes or quick inspiration…

But…. How many of us find ourselves feeling like we continually need more - based almost solely on advertisements or other people’s social media posts?

I, for one, am grateful that I DON'T keep up with the Kardashians. I am grateful to be happy for my friends' achievements and successes on social media but - dang! – it sometimes really seems like those shoes are going to give me the perfect body, uplift my mood, and give me all the confidence and intelligence I desire!

We are conditioned to believe that this STUFF is the new antidepressant which, in and of itself, is quite depressing really.

Where is our satisfaction in the meaning of life coming from?

We all know - without a doubt - that the STUFF is not working. It is only temporary.

Fulfillment is NEVER found in physical matter.

When we live in lack, we feel lack - and our thoughts support lack. So how can we help fill the void that promotes this icky feeling?

CONNECTION!

When we allow for connection, we feed our soul. If we open our energy to receive - instead of putting up protective walls, we get energized. My husband laughs at all the people I know, but he gets me.

I know my mail carrier and garbage collector by name, along with most of my neighbors. It has taken very little effort to create that connection and, rather than feeling like a drain as many may expect, it is actually very energizing! I take the time to connect because it feeds my soul. It lifts my energy. It is one of my antidepressants.

I'm not suggesting that you simply "give your energy away," especially if you are an introvert, but I am recommending that you allow for connection.

I will always and forever say you have to love yourself first so that you're not giving part of you away, but I also know that connection can clear some serious energy. This realization presents an incredible opportunity to shift the antidepressant “Band-Aids” that we have been using!

An authentic sense of belonging to something bigger than ourselves feeds the soul.

Be a helper! Be a giver! Let others know that they matter!

Remember, this has to come from the heart. If it comes from the ego, you will never be fulfilled! You will know the difference if you are attached to how someone receives your gifts. Try your best to detach from the outcome and to just give and connect from the heart!

Mantra: I am connecting and giving from my heart.

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Crappy experiences and their damn lessons!

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Wed, 01 Aug 2018 00:00:00 GMT

Crappy experiences and their damn lessons!

I was freaking out and screaming, "What the hell was he thinking?"

I had been having a rant and my husband looked at me and said, "You have to stop bringing all of that negative energy into this space." I am pretty sure my face contorted.

WHAAAAAT?! Was it Freaky Friday? Did we just switch roles?

I sure did get quiet quickly….

My rage had bubbled over after a series of events that led up to us having to evict someone from our rental property. The rental in question was my first condominium home purchase, which we had lived in together for many years, and I was heartbroken, frustrated, and obviously triggered. In this beyond-frustrating moment, we were supposed to be camping with family and friends - but now we were stuck cleaning up a huge mess.

I was sharing the story with my girlfriends of how my husband had held space for me in this moment of absolute overwhelm when Susie asked me how I thought forgetting to practice discernment had caused me such an extreme lesson.

Damn her! Discernment had been the ‘vocabulary word of the month’ and, while Susie had previously shared with me about her definition and experience with discernment, it took me a minute to wrap my brain around the profound value of the word.

Her question REALLY settled in my soul.

How WAS my inability or unwillingness to use discernment causing my pain and confusion?

When I sat with it, I realized I had wanted a quick fix with this tenant. He was a friend of a friend that needed help, but he had bad credit. He could fix things, however, and well I just happen to be a ‘helper’! I had decided to ‘help’ him by letting him move in and having him remodel the kitchen and fix other things to help us. As it turned out, he never paid the rent on time, made a huge mess, added more work, and ultimately cost us more money than if we had done the upgrades ourselves.

"I took the easy way out and didn't treat this as a business" was my response to Susie - and I had thought the conversation was over. Instead, she responded by suggesting that I meditate on it and see if I find anything more. I was wondering what else I could possibly discern from the situation?

To my surprise, after meditating and allowing the wisdom to come through, I was able to discern that I had not been giving loving energy to the things that matter. I had let so much pile up over the years (as many of us do) that life had become too overwhelming. I can't be with the beautiful things because I can't see through the crap. I was so surprised - yet somehow relieved - to discover another layer?!

After I gave the realization a moment to land, it made complete sense. I always preach what I need to practice. I'm always talking about taking 15 minutes to clear something. I need to get more serious about the things that matter to me - and let go of the material things that are blocking the view.

Crappy experiences and their damn lessons! What can you discern from your crappy experiences? Please share your discoveries - I love it when you share your insights and experience with our community!

Mantra: I am practicing discernment with each choice I make.

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Two-Faced

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Mon, 02 Jul 2018 14:21:37 GMT

Two-Faced

I asked for inspiration for the July Newsletter on Facebook - and the response was amazing . Not knowing what to choose, I chose the first suggestion. "Hmm... How to deal with two-faced people? I'm struggling..."

Dear Two-Faced,

I am so frustrated, pissed off and hurt.

How did we get here?

I really don't think I am that difficult of a person and I know I do my best to love everyone as they are. I promise that I don't need you to be anything that you're not, and I really thought that you were my safe place?! I'm pissed to find out that you are not.

I know that you only behave this way because of your insecurities; you want to belong, but you believe that, at times, you have to be everything to everyone. You know this isn’t true, but somehow that need for acceptance can really skew your view of situations. I see your beautiful soul, but I also feel deeply betrayed by your humanness.

I can't continue to have the conversations in my head with you: wondering why, reliving painful memories, trying to prove my value, etc. It is wasting my energy!

I can't change you or what happened, so moving forward, I will just be cordial. I will breathe a lot, and I will do my best to speak to your highest power so that neither of us takes anything personally.

I am also going to be as conscious as possible of my thoughts and actions in each moment, so that I can learn from this and propel into the best version of myself.

How did I attract this? What was the lesson?

Many of our problems exist after we betray ourselves. Where did things start to shift? What was it that I sacrificed for the sake of pleasing someone else, or to try to manipulate them (in my mind) into accepting me? What was I doing instead of just allowing myself to be ME? How have I revealed myself?

This experience has sucked, Two-Faced, but I am learning. I am taking steps to get clear on my boundaries, so I can teach you how to treat me. Once you are treating me the way I decide I deserve to be, the universe will echo my frequency and I know my experiences and reality will change.

Much Love,
Me

Mantra: I am vibrating with positive experiences.

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My subconscious had a pity party, but I wasn’t invited….

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Tue, 05 Jun 2018 22:50:45 GMT

My subconscious had a pity party, but I wasn’t invited….

I came home to an utter and complete mess! Everything was thrown all over the place, most of the lights were burned out, and my inner child was in the corner crying and wanting nothing to do with me. I attempted to be shocked, but I knew what was happening as I laid on the couch not wanting to move. My subconscious had started a pity party, but hadn’t invited me and, unfortunately, I am always the one left to clean up the damn mess.

Logic asks me, how did this happen? How did I get here? ...and the answer is usually right there in front of me…

You weren't conscious.

You were on autopilot.

You were doing what you needed to do for others, but you forgot to feed your own soul.

I revisited the thoughts that I had been thinking and replayed the stories I had been telling myself. None of them were inspiring.

This last bout of depression was about four months ago. It used to arrive every few months, but I am happy to announce I have not allowed my subconscious to take over since my last go around.

Yup, it takes conscious effort to be happy. The last experience taught me that I have to be PROACTIVE. I hate the surprise of waking up in a funk. I am now more conscious to create the life I want to experience.

I listen to at least ten minutes of something inspiring and motivating in the morning while getting ready. I do my best to take the time in the morning to journal and just get everything out of my head that doesn't need to be in there, or I will write "as if" my day already happened and create the feeling I want to feel for each day. If I don't take the time to write it out, then I will visualize my day as I want it to FEEL.

I am in the moment so much more, allowing the magic to unfold in front of me and doing my best not to label any moments as “sad”, “bad”, or “annoying”, which just feeds into them and prolongs the experience. Instead, I choose to allow them to unfold and to see them as just another experience.

Happiness is worth the effort and, when you do it daily, it becomes a habit. This is probably one of the longest periods that I have gone without feeling even a little bit of funk. I know that it will still creep in eventually, but these proactive steps have been pretty compelling and I now catch the negative thoughts and turn to my journal or a friend before they can snowball. I have created a safe space – in person or on paper – where I can let it all out, and then I move on.

This month, I am suggesting that you be proactive in your happiness!

Don't give your subconscious any excuses to create chaos.

Bring yourself back to "center" every day by creating the feeling of joy in your body by just thinking about how it feels to be joyful now, and then create the experiences you want from that place.

Mantra: I am happy and free. Life feeds me.

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A Love Story - About You

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Mon, 07 May 2018 16:20:27 GMT

A Love Story - About You

She's crying and laughing at the same time. She's only been on the table for about 10 minutes. She shares a very personal experience. I hear her say, "I don't know why but I trust you."
I exhale. I look at her soul and I think, I love you.

I asked him why. He responds, "I'm not enough for him. I'm never enough for him no matter what I do." Tears run down his face. I cry and scream inside for that little precious boy.
I say in my head, I see you precious. I love you. You are more than enough.

She screams, "I fucking hate him! How could he do that to me?"
I think, I fucking hate him too. How could he do that to you? I love you. You're perfect.

She yells at me, "You don't understand! You have no idea what I've gone through!" She's mad. She's mad at me for wanting her to change her story. She needs her story because she doesn't see her beauty and her options.
I think, I love you. I see you. I wish you would let this go. But I get it. I have my own shit I won't let go of.

His body begins to shake profusely. He says, "I'm scared." I say, "I know. But I promise to keep you safe. You have to allow the experience. Feel the word allow in your body. We release everything in love. Focus on the Love."
I think, I love you. Thank you for trusting me.

Thank you, for trusting me and allowing me to hold space for you.
I see you. I love you.
You are more than enough !

Mantra: I love you. I love me. Let's be free.

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The Magic of Manifesting

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Mon, 02 Apr 2018 18:32:42 GMT

The Magic of Manifesting

"You always get whatever you want!" she said to me in a catty tone. I paused but chose not to let it bother me. It was true and I wasn't going to apologize for it because, if I did, I would be telling my body there was something wrong with getting what I want.

I often take manifesting for granted and forget that not everyone practices it. I am reminded when I hear people calling themselves harsh names after making a mistake or saying negative things about their experiences. Sometimes my overly conscious word choice drives my husband nuts. When things are falling apart at home and he asks, “What next?” I usually choose to freak out on him and respond that "Nothing is next! This is just an experience. We are fine and everything is flowing." He rolls his eyes and smiles at me.

The Law of Attraction is so much more than vision boards. Ultimately it is a vibration. To bring the experience you want, you have to know that the experience you want is already happening. I’m not going to lie, this may take years of practice. But if we are going to be here on Earth anyway why not take the time to create the life we want, right?! I practice this work constantly and could write so much more. Instead, I will outline the juicy stuff for you.

The Magic of Manifesting

Come from your HEART always. That’s where the magic is created.

VISUALIZE the experiences you want. See yourself with a smile on your face surrounded by positive people sharing in your excitement.

Grab a trusted friend and TALK as if it has already happened. For example, “The trip to Greece was so much fun! More than I imagined! The people were so kind and...” Or, “When I talked to my boss she was to open to my fears and helped me...”

JOURNAL as if it has happened. Lately, I’ve been journaling in the morning about the current day as if it already happened. I get all excited share my fabulous experiences. This seemingly simple exercise has already had an enormous impact.

FOCUS on what you want to experience, not what you don't. And let go of all attachment to how it will show up.

Do your best to CLEAR all limiting beliefs and stagnant energy. Schedule a session with me, journal and then question what you wrote or, like above, simply FOCUS ON WHAT YOU WANT.

You must TAKE ACTION toward the experience you want to achieve. Research, ask around about it or try it on and see how it feels!

SET INTENTIONS , and then allow the Universe to begin working in your favor.

FEEL what you want to experience so that you begin to vibrate and align with it. This is what I call coming to CENTER . Happiness can be a thought away. Have that thought and create the feeling. As Joe Dispenza would say, this work is about retraining your brain. You must ALLOW the experience to become a KNOWING . Embrace a new default setting.

HAVE FUN NOW! You can't say you want a new job while hating your current job or else you will just attract more of the same. Do whatever you need to allow your daily experiences to be fun!

Mantra: I am centered and free. Good experiences come to me.

Ten valuable lessons I have learned

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Thu, 01 Mar 2018 00:00:00 GMT

Ten valuable lessons I have learned

10 years! I have officially been in business for ten years! I have learned so much in this time that I thought I would share with you my top 10 most valuable lessons.

Intention - I set intentions to create the life that I want to experience.
I begin just about everything with an intention so the universe can bring that experience to me. All of my classes, sessions and days have an intention. About 10 years ago, I even decided to have an intention word for each year and I can't begin to explain the effect it’s had on me! It hasn't always been pretty. I remember the year I chose the word happy and learned some serious humility. However, this gave me the freedom to not be attached to what others think of me, so I actually became happier.

Trust - I trust my decision and move forward to honor my growth.
Sometimes you just have to make a decision and go with it. If you continually question your choices, you never embrace the experience. I’ll never forget when I was going back-and-forth in my mind on the name I had selected for my business. I vividly remember my guides interrupting my thoughts as I walked to the Secretary of State office. They said to me, "Dena, we honestly don’t care what you name your business. Choose something, trust it and move on. We are going to support it no matter what it is called.” They also said, “We do like that it makes people sing as soon as they say it.” And it was then that I knew it was the right decision.

Ask - I ask and say thank you because it never hurts to ask!
Many of us suck at asking for help but there is so much freedom in receiving. And, by allowing ourselves to receive, we give a gift to the giver as well. Asking supports our intentions. I can't imagine where I’d be if I didn't ask to work part-time at my day job many years ago. It was my jumping off point to transition to my current business full time. And I never expected my old boss to say yes―but he did!

Vulnerability - I allow myself to be vulnerable and I set myself and everyone else free!
This one starts out pretty damn icky but OH MY GOSH I can’t even begin to explain the freedom you can experience! I have taken classes with my peers and I often volunteer to be the vulnerable guinea pig because I know the experience will be powerful. Being vulnerable with close friends is the best. You just continually give each other permission to be human and more lovable! The more you do it, the easier it gets.

Knowing - I know that I am successful.
It’s only recently that I’ve embraced the power of knowing. It is an impetus to our experiences. I decided to know that I would get in better shape and lose the weight I gained over the past two years. It is slowly happening and will continue. I take doable steps to make it happen because there is no other option. I am not following any fitness plan; I allow it to be easy. (I do have a great menu plan with delicious dinner meal options for me and my family. Here is my link if you are interested in checking it out. http://emeals.com/invite/dena-gould . - yes, I get a bonus if you do. TING!) And I don't beat myself up too bad when I have freak-out chocolate moments.

Release - Everything happened as it should and I am safe.
My husband taught me this valuable lesson. Though I am still actively working on it, the time and energy I’ve already saved are remarkable. You may have read in a previous newsletter about the time he said to me, "I'm sorry for what I did. I am doing the best I can now. If I could change the past, I would….but I can't." Yup, Mr. Wise. Now every time I want to freak out about something that happened in the past, I hear his voice. I cannot change my prior choices, responses to others or how others respond to me, so continuing to argue with myself or anyone else in my head is a waste of time.

Allow - Not my journey.
Allowing others to have their experiences without feeling the need to do anything about it is badass―and not easy for those of us who like to be helpful and pleasing. I word it this way for my ego, "Who the hell do I think I am trying to take on their experience? It's their lesson, not mine." Sometimes it helps. If a friend makes a choice that I would not have made and the what-ifs start in my head, I simply say, "Not my journey." I also know that everything will work out as it's meant to, and this opens up head space for wonder and amazement.

Help - Be a helper! You never know what people are going through.
Nothing is truer than the fact that we will receive more when we give more―as long as we give from the heart. If we give from guilt or ego the energy cannot be fulfilling. I recently gave from guilt and got upset when it wasn't received the way I wanted. Well duh! Sometimes you have to check in and ask yourself, “Am I giving from the heart?” See how the answer feels and be authentic to you.

Presence - I enjoy being and love each moment.
One of the stories I always told myself is that I’m a doer. In fact, I didn’t know who I was unless I was doing something. I didn’t know how to tell people no without listing off my to-do list. Well, I have pulled back and started to say no from time to time so I can allow myself time to just be. I am becoming a be-er. I have some freak-out moments but, for the most part, I love it! As my friend Susie reminded me, there is nothing that I HAVE to do. You have to sit with that thought for a moment, but when it catches hold of you…FREEDOM!

Gratitude - I am grateful for all of my experiences and my life brings me blessings.
I think most of you know the power of gratitude. It is my go-to when I’m in a funk. And because there can never be too much gratitude, I want to take this opportunity to say, THANK YOU to each and every one of you. Thank you for all the love, support, emails, text messages, gifts and MOMENTS. Thank you for allowing me to hold space for you. Thank you for your trust. Some of you have been through the most horrific experiences and still find a way to share love every day and I am grateful for you. You have helped make the last 10 years truly remarkable.

Mantra: I am always learning and I embrace my lessons.

Hi, it's nice to meet you. What's your purpose?

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Thu, 01 Feb 2018 00:00:00 GMT

Hi, it's nice to meet you. What's your purpose?

This is how my girlfriend, Devi, introduces herself to her daughters’ boyfriends. It always gave me the giggles. No pressure right?

I’ve recently found myself asking many of my clients this same question. Many of us live our lives going from goal to goal, event to event, drama to drama. It’s only natural that we experience highs and lows because once we’ve accomplished one goal―then what? Once that new, shiny object isn't so shiny anymore, what is it that’s supposed to feed our soul?

So I ask you, what is your purpose? Why are you here in this lifetime?

Let's get personal and specific now. We all have gifts to share. We may have the gift of creativity, the gift of music, the gift of compassion, cooking, endurance, caring or even logic. If you aren’t sure what your gift is, think about your 2018 intention word or how you want to feel this year.

For example, my intention word for 2018 is connection so that’s what I’ll use to support my purpose this year. I will create a knowing within my energy that I intend to not only authentically connect with people, but also help create connection among my tribe. As my annual purpose, I will be conscious of it daily.

For many, their purpose is even simpler than that―on paper: We are all here to love and be loved. In life, however, it’s not always so easy to love ourselves or others as we are. Being conscious of this is a good start.

I also know that part of my life purpose is to help others love and accept themselves so they can love and accept others. I do my best to be conscious of this. While some days, weeks, months are better than others, the intention is always within my being. Remembering this is what I often use to get over the pity parties I sometimes throw for myself.

In the end, life is meant to be bigger than you or me. When we remember this and support one another in our journeys, it's not so lonely. It also helps us to stop feeding our B.S. stories and add the spark back into our souls and the souls around us.

I would love to post your purpose with others via my Facebook page to help you solidify it and perhaps inspire others. If you are interested, please respond and sign it however you’d like me to share it. I am also happy to help you discover what your purpose may be. Please just reach out.

Mantra: I am honoring my gifts every day

How My Anger Turned Into Connection

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Tue, 02 Jan 2018 16:50:48 GMT

How My Anger Turned Into Connection

Every year around this time I choose an intention word that is going to help me stay focused and help define my experiences for the New Year. Initially, I chose connection because I get pulled in so many directions that I feel I’m just putting out fires instead of being fully present and connecting. As I thought about it more, however, I found myself being seduced by the word persevere. Then, this happened:

FACEBOOK POST
"Dena Gould
December 12, 2017 at 8:02am ·
I am pissed! Seriously pissed! I had just dropped my children off at school and I noticed a single car that was obviously in an accident on the side of the road. A man is passed out in the driver's seat blood-splattered. Cars are just driving by him like it's nothing. I am the only person to stop. What the hell is wrong with humans? Where is the empathy? He wakes up as I approach him and tries to drive off. He tells me that he has to get to work. That he can't afford to be late to work. I have to try to keep him calm and tell him that his car is leaking liquid that he can't go anywhere and he is so frustrated and in dire straights that it completely breaks my heart. All he wants to do is get to work. Finally a taxi driver pulls over and states that he's called for help. And then another beautiful single woman pulls over and gets out of her vehicle and helps me to calm him. We have to work together to attempt to get him to even sit down because he's in shock. Emergency help arrives and they're trying to get him to go to the hospital and he's telling them no, he's fine, he's got to get to work but he obviously needs stitches on the back of his head. I'm just imagining all the thoughts going through his head about how much all of this is going to cost him. It breaks my heart that we live in a society where people are afraid to even go to the hospital to receive help because of the debt they know that it will cause. This just brings up my anger about the greed. No one should have to feel this way in America. Thank you for letting me have my meltdown. Love and light peeps

Shout out to the other women that helped. We hugged and celebrated humans before we parted ways.."

I was just venting on social media because I was, well, pissed. What I didn’t expect was the response I received― more than 200 people acknowledged it and almost 100 commented . I have never had a response like this to any of my personal posts. It was completely overwhelming and came as a huge awakening: I am not the only person feeling a little desperate for connection these days.

The very next day I went for a run. Ever since I was young, I play this game where I smile and say hello to everyone that crosses my path to see who will respond. On this particular day, every single smile was returned. This rarely happens! What’s even rarer is that I stopped three separate times to connect with three different people. I would never have stopped in the past, partly because I wear a running tracker and my ego won’t allow it. But this run was complete magic. I changed my perception and therefore was much more open to authentic connection. In fact, I attracted it. Yes, I teach this stuff (insert smile) but sometimes even I can forget how powerful it can be.

Saying it sounds like common sense, but feeling it is completely different. When you focus on your intention word for the year, remember that you need to also change your perception. The goal is for you to put it out there in the universe and not worry about how it will come back to you. For example, if your word is happy you don’t need to go out into the world and try to make everyone happy. Instead, just feel the happiness within yourself first, and then see how it spreads to everyone around you. If your word is light, focus on how you want to feel when all the experiences you come across are light and beautiful.

Get very clear on how your intention word feels so that you are conscious of when you are not it its pattern. Then you can make the choice to go back to it.

Mantra: “Your intention word” is my new default setting

Are You Feeling the Shift Too?

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Fri, 01 Dec 2017 00:00:00 GMT

Are You Feeling the Shift Too?

This past year has been the most challenging and rewarding for me as a healer. I never felt an overall heaviness in the world at the level it has been these last several months. I thought I was past some of the experiences that came up for me. But here I was, taken places I never wanted to go or thought I would ever see again. The despair was beyond my imagination. It came in waves. Sometimes I was able to allow it to flow—to feel it, reflect and move forward—and other times it snatched me from behind and pulled me deep, deep inside its dark, wet yuckiness.

Yet even in the midst of all this helplessness, there was always a tinge of hope. Light is always revealed within the darkness. And although at times I couldn't see or feel it, I just imagined it until it eventually came into my being.

Because I, too, danced with this darkness I was completely able to empathize with many others having similar experiences. I was not alone. So many of us couldn’t comprehend what was happening in our world. And that’s how with this challenging energy came a huge awakening: All we can do is get up, get out and do something.

I know it’s not as easy as it sounds. It requires some serious perseverance and action to create the experiences we want for ourselves and our families. But it’s these actions and desires that are supporting a powerful shift. We are no longer waiting for anyone else to create our happiness. We are becoming the change we wish to see (thank you, Gandhi). I really felt it with the full moon in early November. It was like HOPE started to float through the air again. We are taking our power back from that "thing" we thought kept us powerless.

Each of us may have taken small steps, but together they have been mighty. The darkness we experienced this past year helped us understand that we can endure some serious shit but it doesn't have to become our fate. We have each other. Mr. Rogers told us, "Look for the helpers." And I tell my children all the time to, "Be a helper." We all need connection. We were never meant to experience this journey alone. If you are not connecting with others, find a way. Create experiences that fuel you and fill your heart. Remember, it’s your happiness that matters.

What is all comes down to and what I had to learn once again this year is this: When it’s dark, BE THE DAMN LIGHT. And when you can’t, ask for help.

Mantra: I will be the Light.

What Goes Around Comes Around

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Wed, 01 Nov 2017 00:00:00 GMT

What Goes Around Comes Around

And that includes kindness. Of course we know to be kind to others, but why doesn’t it seem to come as naturally to be just as kind to ourselves? We all take part in negative self-talk at some time or another, so let’s go ahead and address it.

Has it ever inspired you? When has beating yourself up ever made you feel good, or even brought about positive changes? Just because a loved one―or even a stranger―made you feel stupid, ugly, mean, lazy, etc., doesn't make it true. YOU are the only one that can allow it to be true. YOU are also the only one that can change these limiting beliefs. IT IS ONLY A THOUGHT…a thought that you are giving power.

So, how do we avoid it? By beginning our day with intention. By playing out in our heads how we want the day to go―how we want to feel and what we want to accomplish. And by saying nice things to ourselves. This allows us to center our energy so we can be less reactive and more in control of our lives.

This month, try shifting your energy with these five daily steps:

1. Visualize

Yes, one of my favorites. Visualizing how your day will play out sets the intention for how you want to experience it. It puts YOU in control, rather than just letting life happen to you.

2. Journal every morning

Before you do anything else, get out everything that’s on your mind―all the ifs, buts and worry you’re carrying around. Yes, you may have to wake up a little earlier to make this happen, but it is so worth it. Consider it your morning dump (Read The Artist's Way if you’re looking for inspiration). Daily journaling helps de-clutter your thoughts so you can be present, which takes me to the next step.

3. Live in the moment

The moment is where the magic is. The past is gone and can't be changed, so stop beating yourself up for bad choices. If you’re not living in the now, then you’re missing the fun. You can enjoy your reality by actually living in it!

4. Gratitude always

When we are grateful for what we have, we are less likely to spiral into the “poor me" cycle. If only bad things seem to happen to you then, unfortunately, you are playing the victim role. And we all know being a victim never feels good. So don't allow yourself to go there. Go with gratitude instead. I know it’s not always easy, but with a little effort, you will see how gratitude can change your life.

5. Be a friend

There is nothing more satisfying, inspiring and motivating than being of service to others. Humans need humans. Be a friend. Listen without judgment, make someone a meal, send a card. You know what it takes. Do it from the heart and without expectation; otherwise, it will not feed your soul.

You have probably heard all these steps before, especially if you’ve had a session with me. But, they bear repeating. Remember, YOU can control your happiness and decide how you want each day to play out. Don’t let anyone take that from you. And even if your friend takes the last piece of chocolate cake, know that you can always make more!

Sometimes we need help and direction to change our hidden habits. Be sure to check out my Art of Loving You and Connect With Your Spirit Guide classes to help get you out of your head and into your happiness!

Mantra: I am open to all options.

The Habit of Hard

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Sun, 01 Oct 2017 00:00:00 GMT

The Habit of Hard

She said, “I'll wait until I'm a little closer and then I'll get the epidural.” I thought, my poor baby is in so much pain. Why does she think she needs to hold off to relieve that pain? I suggested that she get the epidural right away so that she could get some sleep. It was 5 AM at this point and my daughter had been in labor for almost 15 hours. She calmly said okay. It was like she just needed permission to relieve her pain. She later explained that she was just too tired to think straight.

Some of you may remember the lesson that I learned from my daughter back in March. ( You can read about this experience in my article "I Couldn't Breathe, Sleep, Think... )

This happens to many of us when we are tired or on autopilot trying to make it through each day. We aren’t even aware that there are other options. We believe the long, heavy, winding road is better. We think it validates us and it shows more perseverance. As I get older, I am loving the road that is more traveled. Don’t get me wrong, I love to discover new and fresh experiences, but I also don’t need to complicate things. Walking on that well-established concrete path to arrive at what would be the same destination saves me time, money, sanity. I feel WOKE! I like it. I like that I can ask for help and say thank you without feeling guilty.

I am suggesting that maybe we look at the easiest way to obtain the same result. This doesn’t mean we're weak. I think it means we're smart and we're tired of the long, muddy paths. Where in your life could you make it a little easier? I'm not saying to take unnecessary shortcuts when there's something important that needs to be addressed. I’m suggesting taking a step back and asking:

• Where in life am I struggling?
• What are my options?
• Can I do it differently?
• Can someone help me with this?
• Who can I ask for help?
• What steps can I take out of my routine?

Let’s give ourselves permission to release the unnecessary and make our lives more enjoyable. There is still time to join us for my Infinite Possibilities class starting next week. Learn to get out of your way and create doable steps to create the life that you WANT to experience.

Mantra: I am open to all options.

Who You Aren't

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Fri, 01 Sep 2017 00:00:00 GMT

Who You Aren't

Written by Tracey Painter

I read an article the other day where it asked the reader if you were living by who you ARE, or if you are living by who you AREN’T. For example, are you living to NOT be like someone such as a parent, sibling, friend, relative, boss, etc? Are you spending all your time trying to NOT be something/someone as opposed to just being who you are? Are you fighting against the current when you don’t have to?

I was victimized as a child. So, I spent most of my life after that doing everything I could NOT to be a victim. Not to be a product of that abuse. In fact, I have spent so much time trying not to be a victim that I have eliminated a lot of just living, really. By spending my entire life trying to control myself, my environment, and those around me to “protect” myself, I have created a challenging lifestyle . Not just a personality quirk. No! An entire lifestyle. This is how I live my life. That makes me sad.

I’ve also spent most of my life trying not to be like my dad. I love art. I get my artistic abilities from my dad. I do not like my dad. So, I do not like to associate myself with my artistic abilities very often. If I’m in the best of moods, I’ll do it. But to use it as an expression of myself in times of distress, when I could use an outlet or a release, I don’t use it because I don’t want to be ANYTHING like my dad, even though he was artistically talented. I don’t want to look like him, act like him, or have any of his personality traits. That’s completely impossible! It’s DNA! That’s me fighting the current. Me not allowing REAL parts of me come out. It’s exhausting trying to push everything out completely, instead of just the parts of him that were bad, hurtful, or destructive.

I realized recently that it’s okay to have problems due to the pain and suffering I’ve had in my life. Not as an excuse to go around hurting others or myself, but as something that will create more of a challenge in my life in certain areas. Things to work on, yes. And sometimes things about myself that I have just to accept because I was forever changed by those events. And that’s okay. I don’t get to be perfect in this lifetime. I can only hope to be surrounded by others who get that and love me enough to stay, even when I am desperately trying to gain control or am emotionally stunted.

Now I’m wondering who am I in the YES column. I absolutely know who I’m NOT, what I don’t like, traits and behaviors I don’t want to emulate, what I don’t want to do. But seriously, I’m not sure who I am in the positive. I know some stuff. A couple of things. But I look back and see thestruggle. Fighting the current. Going upstream. Focusing on the NOT.

Now I have a new perspective and can catch myself when I’m telling myself who I’m not. Then I can turn it around and see who I am. I can start to make decisions based on positive actions instead of fear, white-knuckle endurance, panic, control, and reacting to outside people and situations. I want to move forward in the positive, in the who I AM. Do you?

Mantra: I am embracing a new perspective.

Suicide Victims Are Not Cowards

dena@lightofmine.org (Dena Gould) — Tue, 01 Aug 2017 16:32:30 GMT

Suicide Victims Are Not Cowards

I was in a funk I just couldn't shake. My physical pain began to worsen, I didn't know what to do. I had recently watched a Byron Katie video that forced me to wake up. I was on autopilot for too long; believing it was a positive autopilot wasn’t helpful, and obviously, I was not as conscious of my thoughts as I should have been.

I tried shifting my thoughts, journaling, performing EFT. I was pulling out all my tools. I was meditating, being still, having gratitude and yet none of it was working the way I needed it to. I began to question...what’s causing this? As my search for answers continued, I reached out to my Spirit Guides, could they help me understand if this was some deep, deep crap that I must experience? While sitting in nature, I asked, “What makes me happy?” Thinking I was clever and hoping that I would shift my focus towards something positive, but the answer surprised me. It scared me. I actually heard, "nothing." I was panicky and I was digging. My kids! Of course, my kids make me happy, but I still felt emptiness with that answer. My husband! He is supportive and helpful, again I was grasping. My clients! I am beyond blessed to help people realize their beauty on a daily basis, but I was left feeling raw.

Throughout my life, there have been times when I just wanted it all to be over. Not thinking of committing suicide, but wanting life to be done. I never remember feeling the way I was at that moment, never to this extent. My thoughts drifted to a friend who had committed suicide. I wanted to judge this person because I couldn’t understand why. Why had my friend not sought more help? Why couldn't the thoughts be shifted? I finally had my answer at that moment. This experience gave me a glimpse into someone’s mind that decides suicide is the only answer. It helped me to wrap my brain around the many suicides that happen far too often. It was the weirdest feeling, but at the same time, I knew that I could and I would get out of this. This all happened at the beginning of July; while I had no plans to share it with you, the recent suicide of Chester Bennington, of Linkin Park motivated me to share.

We create stories to understand our experiences. We want to judge suicide. We want to label it so that we can feel better about ourselves. I have witnessed people calling a suicide victim a coward or making fun of the victim out of fear. This doesn’t help anyone. Empathy helps.

This experience forever changed me and now that I am out of it, I know the blessing. I thought that I could relate before, but this new experience created more meaningful empathy for those beautiful souls. I wonder if the intention of the Universe was simply to teach me this so that I would share it. When I communicate with spirits who’ve committed suicide, most of them share the same message, "I didn't know. I didn't know that life was supposed to be about the fun and joy. I didn't know that my priorities were all messed up. I didn't know that I was spending too much time in my head on stuff that didn't matter." Most of them relay that they are pissed that they chose to end their life.

How are you spending your time and energy? Where are your thoughts focused? Are your stories serving you? I am very clear on my role for others. I am clear that I must love and accept myself as I am, but the deeper question that I received from this is, "Who am I to me?" Can you answer that on a deeper level?

*Join me on my

Facebook page

to hear my response to that question.

Mantra: Who am I to me?

We Are a Mess

dena@fakeemail.com (Dena Gould) — Sat, 01 Jul 2017 00:00:00 GMT

We are a mess

We all started out so differently. Some of us came into a loving two-parent home and love only began to be withheld once we hit puberty or once our attitudes shifted and our parents could no longer deal with the "you just don't understand" drama that we clung to. Some of us were born into horrific and tragic situations like being molested by those that we should have been able to trust; by those that should have been keeping us safe. Some of us were physically and/or emotionally abused by parents who were heavily poisoned throughout their own lives because of their personal traumas and fears.

We all have stories that have supported and created the person that we are today. Some of those stories are so beautiful and empowering and some of those stories hurt way down to the core of our souls. All of these experiences create the perfect messes that we are.

I wrap my brain around the negative experiences by telling myself that while we were in "Heaven, " we told ourselves that we were bad ass. We wanted to be put "back in the game" to learn true hardship so that our souls would grow, but then we get here and we are like, "WTF?" There are usually deep lessons for us, but it usually boils down to the story of, "I am not enough."

What we choose to do with these lessons is what brings us joy or grief. When you can touch, feel - sink into some of the chapters of that story of not being enough, you give yourself permission to let it go and your freedom begins. It is proven that acknowledging the muddy energy within those chapters, something shifts. Stuck emotions are released by acknowledging them, not ignoring them. Keep in mind that once we do this, we must move into the present and stop reliving the past. It's gone. Our lives are happening now, so let's create some magic. Let's take steps to honor our messes and love ourselves for them. They are part of us whether we like it or not, so let's not punish ourselves for them.

Mantra: I honor my emotions and allow them to flow

Speak Up

dena@fakeemail.com (Dena Gould) — Thu, 08 Jun 2017 21:24:14 GMT

Speak Up

At 19, I worked my first professional 9-5 and felt pretty damn mature in my nylons and shoulder padded outfits. I wanted to continue feeling that way, so when my birthday arrived, I decided that I didn’t need to tell anyone. I was 20 now, so no need for that silly attention. I went all day long being a little sad and having a few pity parties because nobody wished me a happy birthday. Being “mature” pretty much sucked. I think it’s like trying to be “normal.” What the hell is normal anyway? How many times do we catch ourselves getting upset at our situation or our surroundings because we're too afraid to speak up? We are too afraid to be judged or we're trying to be the bigger person?

The older I get, the better I understand what is important to me and if I want it to be acknowledged by others then I need to speak up. I am not perfect at this, but I have found that most people enjoy me being honest and sharing; I know I do. I have friends that will cancel plans with me because they are having a pity party, or life just sucks at that moment and they don’t want to be around people. I respect this and completely understand since I can be especially annoying if I am feeling like Mrs. Positive. I adore them for this. Their honesty gives me permission to do the same.

I still may find myself trying to be the bigger person from time to time, but at least I know when it is happening now and I can sit with my decision and decide if I want to change it.

If speaking up is challenging for you as well, I challenge you to be honest with someone today. Don’t be rude, just share your feelings. Remember, not to be attached to how they receive it because they may take it personally. Thank goodness that it will have nothing to do with you. This may inspire them to speak up too. Honest communication can feel pretty normal and mature.

Mantra: I feel safe to ask for what I want

Dark Energy is Real

dena@fakeemail.com (Dena Gould) — Mon, 01 May 2017 00:00:00 GMT

Dark Energy is Real

Over the years, I have literally tried to write about dark energy at least three or four times―never really knowing how to approach it because I don’t like coming from a place of fear. However, with the sadness, depression, and hopelessness that many of us have been dealing with lately, I believe it's time to at least address the basics. I'm not going to go into discussions of dark entities, but I am going to highlight some of the negativity that seems to be spreading―and what we can all do to help stop it.

As many of you know, everything is made up of energy and vibrates at different frequencies. If you’ve had a session with me, the work we do is aimed at raising vibration and shaking off the heaviness, sometimes even the darkness. Over the past few months, I have had so many people come to me with an unexplainable sorrow, sadness, anger and confusion. And the reason is a universal vibration that we’re feeling. Because of it, a lot of us are being pulled into areas we're not used to. And we’re reacting by making our decisions out of fear, rather than out of faith. When that happens, the “dark cloud” that is seeming to follow us just gets darker and heavier, making it more and more difficult to climb out of that space.

My intention with this newsletter is to help you shake off the heaviness, make a change and take your power back. I humbly ask that you begin by being conscious of your thoughts again―and focus on keeping them positive! See the good in everything and everyone. Send people love and light instead of hate and frustration.

Every morning when we arrive at school and my children get out of the car I say, “Send them love and light." My kids already know to send it to the "mean people" first, as I’ve explained that we simply can’t know what their home lives might be like, or what experiences they’ve had that trigger them to act in a certain way. But lately, I have been getting caught up in my own stories and had forgotten to do my part as well. All of us are lightworkers and, as such, we all have the opportunity and obligation to send others the love and light they need.

So many of us are living in darkness because we’re afraid. And when we act out of fear, we fail to recognize that there is always enough for everyone. Life is so much easier when we work together and respect one another’s differences, rather than standing on the front porch worrying about what we may lose. When we live in fear, we assume we’re never going to be enough and that others will uncover our flaws. But when we shift our thinking and begin to accept ourselves and each other as we are―perfectly imperfect beings―we allow ourselves to love and be loved, simply because we exist.

I know it’s possible to shift our energy and choose love and light once again. For some, it may require the decision to stop listening to the news―or at least stop allowing ourselves to get so caught up in it. For others, renewing an interest in a cause that you’re passionate about or taking up an activity that you can pour your heart into can help you get unstuck. We all have the power to live in faith and raise our collective vibration―one moment at a time. WE GOT THIS!

Mantra: I am making my decisions out of Love!

It's My Parent's Fault

dena@fakeemail.com (Dena Gould) — Sat, 01 Apr 2017 00:00:00 GMT

It's My Parent's Fault

You probably have friends who had unimaginable childhoods, but they appear to be doing well and stay positive about life. You may also know people who had what appear to be great childhoods, but they live in "poor me" mode and blame everything and everyone for their unhappiness. What’s the conclusion we can draw from this? It’s that we are in control of our own happiness. And while taking responsibility for this isn’t always easy, it is so freeing!

So, what’s standing in the way of your happiness? Could it be the constant struggle to be perfect—wanting to please others or control everything when you are triggered ? Do you find yourself feeling responsible for everyone else’s happiness so that you can finally be enough?

If you’ve had a session with me, you know that together we try to understand where your limiting beliefs began. And it almost always started with our parents. But the truth is, it began WAY before our parents. Even if it’s not always obvious, it has usually been passed down through our lineage in some form or another. Just because we inherited these stories doesn’t mean we have to continue them, however. It can stop with you. Or at the very least, it can get better.

I have shared before about the power of sitting in your shit and releasing the past, but today I want to focus on releasing our parents. First, try to empathize with their experiences that may have triggered their behavior. What happened in their childhoods that could have caused them to act or treat you in a certain way? If you can’t go there with it, then take your power back from them and release the story. Say to yourself, “My parents and the story that I am stupid, selfish, not enough, etc. will not validate me or rule my life. I no longer blame them for my unhappiness because life is too short and I can choose differently.”

If you are a parent, think about how empowering it will be for you be able to avoid “poisoning” your own children in the same way that you were “poisoned” by their triggers. (Read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz to learn more about how this works). Know that there is humility in this work, however, and that it’s not always easy. But, running from the suffering isn’t a long-term solution. You have to first feel it, be with it and then release it.

Mantra: My past doesn’t dictate my future. I am choosing to be happy and to have fun.

I Couldn't Breathe, Sleep, Think...

dena@fakeemail.com (Dena Gould) — Wed, 01 Mar 2017 00:00:00 GMT

I Couldn't Breathe, Sleep, Think...

I don't remember exactly what she said because I was too busy being pissed off. It went something like this: "You do hear yourself, right? You are projecting what you didn't have onto your daughter. You didn't get to have certain experiences, so you are getting upset because she is choosing something different than what you would have chosen!” My eyes got wide, I took a deep breath and cussed my dear friend out.

How could I not see it? I teach this stuff! I took pride in not projecting my wants onto my kids. I didn't make her take dance when she no longer enjoyed it. I wasn't the helicopter mom. I forced her to make her own difficult decisions. But here I was, spewing ugliness onto my girlfriend because I couldn't breathe, sleep, think...

I had recently learned that my 20-year-old daughter was pregnant. She was in her junior year of college and I was frustrated and heartbroken because I didn't want her to throw away the opportunities that we had afforded her. Because I didn't get to have the experience that she was having. Apparently, the universe had other plans for all of us. Apparently, it wasn't about me. It took me a little—ok, a long while—to get over my anger and frustration, but I did. Sometimes you just have to go with what life is offering.

Over this past couple months, I have held space for many clients to clear the fog, anger, fear and sadness. Many of us are having trouble wrapping our brains around what life has been offering lately. We’re not able to understand why we are so separated in the United States. But it is our reality—whether we like it or not.

What are our options? Well, we can keep living in the heaviness, or we take a breath and share our feelings with friends that will call us on our shit. If you don’t have a friend like that, come have a session with me. Let's take steps that support our beliefs and allow ourselves to feel better. It's just another story you know. We don't have to believe it.

Mantra: I am flowing with what life is offering.

His World Must Be So Small

dena@fakeemail.com (Dena Gould) — Wed, 01 Feb 2017 00:00:00 GMT

His world must be so small

“His world must be so small.” I had a friend who would say this when she came across a man who couldn’t handle anything “different” than himself or his personal experiences. I found myself using this same catty phrase as a quick way to come to terms with what I considered ignorant behavior.

We are all guilty of behaving like this in some manner. We live in our world because that is where our life happens. And sometimes it’s easier to put people in boxes so that we can feel more comfortable or validated. But what would happen if we didn’t choose the easy route and started thinking about what other people may be experiencing?

I know that many of us think we are pretty open minded, but I believe there’s always an opportunity to open our minds even a little wider. For example, if you have never been an addict, what do you think about addicts? If you have never been overweight, how do you perceive those who are? Or if you’ve never been a minority, what do you think about minorities?

Personal growth almost always requires action so what actions can you take to get out of your comfort zone and gain more perspective into what someone else is experiencing? It can be something as simple as making a commitment to questioning those catty thoughts you might have about others. Or, it could be more involved than that, such as broadening your community or volunteering to get to know others who are “different” from you in order to better understand their experiences.

I had written the rough draft of this newsletter, and within days I had a session with a beautiful soul that took the time to fully FEEL this experience. It was so moving that I shared it on Facebook Live. Check it out below if you’d like.

No one wants pity. But ALL humans want to have a sense of belonging because connection and belonging is in our DNA. The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s fear. And let’s face it, it’s easy to be “scared” of someone when we don’t take the time to understand them. Let’s stop giving in to that fear and instead try on empathy for a change. After all, empathy and compassion is where it’s at. It feels better and vibrates so much higher than fear.

Mantra: Love is Love is Love.

It Started with the Panties

dena@fakeemail.com (Dena Gould) — Sun, 01 Jan 2017 00:00:00 GMT

It Started with the Panties

I recently had breakfast with a friend that I adore. As I was driving to meet her, I passed by that restaurant. The one where they know me because I go there so much; I love the food and it’s close to my office. But in that very moment that I passed by, I decided I would not be returning.

You see, about six months ago they started treating me differently. I don’t know what happened. I am a good tipper, don’t complain, etc. Yet, somehow, during my visits, I began to feel like I wasn’t welcome. I kept going back, trying to not make a big deal out of what I was feeling. It was as though I was content settling with the lack of hospitality. But as I drove by it that morning, I thought about a quote that I once read: “Learn to get up from the table when love is no longer being served.” So I decided that I deserve better. I deserve to only sit at tables where there is love. For a moment I was sad (I will miss the food!), but it felt good to just say to myself "no more." I deserve better.

It’s funny how things work. When I finally met up with my friend, she shared with me how she is making changes in her life. How she has made the decision to no longer settle. From releasing those men that could not honor her to replacing those old used pans that compromised how her food was cooked, accepting mediocre just isn't going to cut it. She deserves happiness, beauty, success.

And as she told me all this, a big smile came across her face. “It all began with the panties, you know.” I then smiled just as big with her. I remembered a while back she shared with me that she wasn’t feeling attractive and I suggested that she needed to get new panties AND a matching bra…well, at least the same color. “It makes all the difference!” I explained. It doesn’t matter what outfit you are wearing, you will always feel sexy and special because you know what you have underneath. It completely changes your attitude!

So it started with the panties, but it evolved into my friend questioning why she was settling for a lot of ok or mediocre things in her life. I, of course, had to share my restaurant story and a few other examples of my own. And so it began…

Settling tells your subconscious that you are not worth it. What I am telling you is that you are. Stop those frustrating limiting beliefs! I know it isn’t easy when you can almost hear some of your loved ones saying to you: “Don’t cause trouble.” “Don’t be difficult.” “You aren’t special.” But please take this as a friendly reminder that this is just another B.S. story. Go get some new panties or boxer briefs! You ARE worth it and, in 2017, you are going to claim it!

Mantra: I am worth it and I honor me.

Do-Overs Are Too Much Work

dena@fakeemail.com (Dena Gould) — Thu, 01 Dec 2016 00:00:00 GMT

Do-overs are too much work.

If you had it to do all over again, would you? Most of us would probably say no because we get the fact that we have learned so many lessons through our experiences—especially the challenging ones—and it’s just too much damn work to go through it all again!

The idealist might think that the second time around would be easier but, the truth is, we would probably make just as many mistakes in the do-over process. Think about it. What leads us to the choices we make or to react in a certain way? It’s the fact that we get caught up in the moment, that we’re living in context and are seeing each problem as though it’s the worst thing in the world. It’s only when we get through it that we can look back and say, “Maybe that wasn’t so bad after all.”

This same thing is what I think happens when we're on the other side getting ready to incarnate again. I believe we've all been here before and we get wild and crazy and want to do it again to allow more growth for our soul. We think it's going to be easier than it is. And then we get here and once again get caught up in all of the little things instead of remembering why we returned in the first place—to understand the beauty and growth that only comes from seeing the big picture.

So, as we end this year, I want you to take a moment to look back over the last 12 months. Take stock of the growth that occurred in the heavier moments. Honor those experiences and, of course, take time to be with the happy and love-filled times as well.

Going through this “do over” process, we know we aren’t able to change what’s happened in the past. But this is our opportunity to honor it—and then move the hell on. Then decide how you want to feel now and in the future and start creating experiences to honor THAT!

Mantra: I am creating the life that I want to live in right now.

Why Do We Keep Ourselves Hostages in the Name of Pride?

dena@fakeemail.com (Dena Gould) — Tue, 01 Nov 2016 00:00:00 GMT

Why do we keep ourselves hostage in the name of pride?

I woke up in the middle of the night thinking, “How could she do this to me?” After all of the things that I’d done for her! The more I reflect on it, the more dumbfounded I am. How could she possibly treat me this way? And then I start creating stories about how she’s going to regret what she has done.

This is all happening in my head, of course. I'm losing sleep to create stories that aren't going to change a thing. So I come back to the moment and get pissed for allowing myself to even go there. The story I created was just to make myself feel better, but it doesn’t really. So instead I take a deep breath and accept it for what it is. Then I tell myself to shut the hell up and go back to sleep.

Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever found that you’re holding yourself hostage in the name of pride? The one thing that would ultimately make us feel better is to not have the stories in the first place. Even though that is my goal, sometimes those middle-of-the-night moments still creep up me.
Damn it!

I believe it happens to all of us. But when it does, let’s do our best to be kind to ourselves and remember to not take other people’s actions personally. Take a moment to be with your ego and you’ll find that most of the time, it has nothing to do with us. Breathe, focus on what feels good and what your truth really is. My personal truth is that we are ALL connected. And this thought helps to quickly bring me back to the moment, humbles me and gets me out of the ego mode.

Mantra: I am doing my best to not take it personally

Sit In Your Shit (SIYS)

dena@fakeemail.com (Dena Gould) — Sat, 01 Oct 2016 00:00:00 GMT

#SIYS

In high school, I always liked the teachers that didn’t care what you thought of them. I liked the ones that were dedicated to helping me be better, not the so-called “cool” teachers that wanted to be considered your friend. I have been most inspired by the people who can love me enough to hold me accountable. And since that is how I have always learned best, that is how I tend to teach.

One of my girlfriends shared that she recently attended a training class where she was held accountable. Although the lessons she learned about herself weren’t easy, they were necessary. She added, “When you walk away from some of those other sessions that are all about the fluff, you just feel fluffy.” Ain’t that the truth! Sometimes we need to feel icky, heavy, humbled and pissed. THAT is where the growth is. It’s when we are confronted with our shadow self, forced to sit in our own shit and cry because it sucks that we’re forced to grow, release and learn. It’s in these dark spaces where you’ll find the most powerful internal growth—not in the fluff.

Let’s do each other a favor: let’s begin to be more honest with ourselves and one another. Fall is a great season for that. It’s the season when we tend to go within and begin to feel the heaviness of winter coming on. So rather than shy away from it, let’s say “bring it on!” Let’s sit in our shit and actually feel it, ask it questions, journal about it or share it with people we trust so that it is not so scary or frustrating.

I have been sitting in my own shit for a couple of weeks just journaling, tapping—you know, the stuff I tell you to do. While it’s usually not fun, I honestly can say that I FEEL my heart opening more, my Spirit exclaiming “Finally!” in relief and it feels damn good!

Mantra: I sit in my shit and free my spirit!

Anxiety Sucks

dena@fakeemail.com (Dena Gould) — Thu, 01 Sep 2016 00:00:00 GMT

Anxiety Sucks

We all have moments when we get anxious, but some of those moments can be more overwhelming than others. While there are many causes of anxiety, from my personal experience, one of the main factors is when we allow ourselves to be in our heads unsupervised. It’s easy to become overwhelmed when we let our thoughts drift toward fretting over the past, worrying about the future or building passionate stories about what others may be thinking about us.

And it’s not just us. Did you know that anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S.? (Source:National Institute of Mental Health) Luckily, there are several simple, doable steps and alternative methods to calm the monsters. Here are six basic actions you can take the moment you begin to feel anxious to help prevent those feelings from spiraling into a full-blown panic attack. You have more tools at your disposal than you might think!

1. Breathe in fresh, light energy and visualize the heavy energy leaving your body as you exhale.

2. Create a mantra to get you out of your head such as “Clear!” or “I am enough” and begin repeating it to yourself.

3. Consciously live and be in this moment. While the past and future are often the triggers for anxiety, focusing on the present can help you reclaim your power.

4. Participate in strenuous exercise. Go run as fast as you can, for as far as you can … even if it is only a few feet. You’ll be surprised at how this will help shift your thoughts and clear the anxious energy from your body.

5. Focus on what is good in your life. If you need some inspiration, listen to a motivational audio or YouTube video.

6. Practice the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) daily and especially when you first feel anxious energy coming over you. (Please go here for a free EFT session on anxiety and to learn more about my online program beginning on September 11, 2016)

While brief, strenuous exercise can help at the onset of anxiety, daily exercise can help keep your energy calm to prevent these moments over the long term. Couple this with a balanced diet and avoiding external stimulants and you’ll notice a difference! Marijuana may appear to help in the beginning, but it only masks the emotions temporarily, meaning that they can resurface and potentially cause more harm in the future. Finally, be conscious of your triggers and take active steps to be preventative.

I know that these tips are all easier said than done. But in the face of an anxiety attack, it is empowering to know that there are things you can do to shift your thoughts and energy to regain control.

Mantra: There are always answers to my problems.

Why Does the Past Still Have Power?

dena@fakeemail.com (Dena Gould) — Mon, 01 Aug 2016 00:00:00 GMT

Why does the past still have power?

We are a result of our past experiences. I think that we all get that. And by now we also understand that if we release our past and live in the present, then we could create some serious happiness. But we don’t. Why not? Because we need our stories to be validated and the past provides validation.

Often the root cause of what prevents us from being happy isn’t obvious, which is why this month I am challenging you to dig a little deeper. Think about who you may still be punishing for their past behavior. Who in your life are you still poking at and triggering so that they have to feel pain, since they caused you pain? Be honest with yourself.

I know it can be hard to see and, more often than not, it’s because we don’t want to see it. Even though we know, deep down, that it’s stupid to behave like this and that the only person we’re really causing to suffer is ourselves, we continue to do it. We operate on autopilot and, because we’ve been doing it for so long, it just feels natural to think and act this way.

But now’s the time to pause and really think about it. Feel it. And then STOP IT!!

My husband once told me, “I can only apologize so many times for the past. I cannot change it. All I can do is be better now.” Where the hell did this young grasshopper come from? At first I was mad at him for his wisdom because I wanted to continue subtly punishing him for not being as mature as I thought he should be in the beginning of our relationship. After all, I was the one who had to take on running our household, raising our daughter and adding structure to our lives because he was so damn lazy and immature… or at least these were the stories I told myself! But the truth is, I took on these things because I chose to, and then got angry with him for not making the same choices as me. Now I can see what an obvious story this was, but I wasn’t able to until he made the statement. (Yes, this is a couple of years ago. My ego needs you to know that! LOL)

So I encourage you to do the work; look for the stories from the past that you’re clinging to and then peel back the layers to find out what it is that they validate for you. Then, release them and FREE YOURSELF! I know it’s not always easy to see our own habits, so I invite you to schedule a session if you need me to help call you on your shit—lovingly, of course.

If you want to learn more, I have talked about this same topic on FB Live. Check it out and share at https://www.facebook.com/lightofminellc/videos . Title: Let it Go. Seriously

Mantra: I Love this moment!

https://www.facebook.com/lightofminellc/videos/1068598069855273/

Perfectionist? Stop It!

dena@fakeemail.com (Dena Gould) — Fri, 01 Jul 2016 00:00:00 GMT

Perfectionist? Stop it!

Have you ever set goals and wanted something to happen, but then let worry get in the way and stop your progress? Do you feel like you need something to look a certain way before you can move forward? Are you looking for a guarantee that you will be successful before you jump? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then here’s an important piece of advice: STOP being attached to the outcome and START actually enjoying the process.

Perfection is an elusive thing to chase because, put simply, it will always be in the future! How many times have you said, “I can’t be happy until I accomplish this…” or “I will be successful once I have that…”? If you think about it, you’ve probably already achieved a million this’s and that’s in your life and…are you happy yet? Are you enough yet? Did you even acknowledge when you reached these goals, or did you move on to the next “antidote” for some state of future happiness?

The key to finding your happiness is in this moment and this moment alone. Stop putting happiness at some unattainable finish line. At the end of the day, you have to create and find meaning in your life through the things you can accomplish and the experiences that you want to enjoy TODAY! Fear and worry suck and they can paralyze you if you let them. The good news is you don’t have to. You do have a choice. Let’s start with 10 steps that can help you stay on track:

1. Write down what you want to accomplish.Then, create a bulleted list with very doable steps for getting there. This can actually become quite fun!

2. Research what needs to be researched. Be sure to set time limits, though, to avoid wasting time or procrastinating.

3. Enjoy the process. Take time to reflect on your experiences, laugh at your fumbles and learn to appreciate the perfect moments that come from your imperfection.

4. Set a completion date for your intention.Be realistic, but don’t give yourself too much time or it may be difficult to stay focused.

5. Tell people about your intention. Ask them to hold you accountable or maybe even establish a formal accountability partner. Many times, they’ll offer great advice or assistance when you need it most. Be sure to accept it and thank them for it.

6. Say, “I am enough; I am more than enough” every time that you are tempted to get into your head and create drama. Instead, share with a friend or your accountability partner your freak-out moments. They will likely offer great advice and tell you to “STOP IT” when you start believing that you’re not enough. Or, if you can’t find a friend at that moment, watch this video for a reminder: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhQGzeiYS_Q

7. Enjoy the process. [repeated as #3]

8. Set aside at least 15 minutes a day.Dedicate time, whether a few minutes or a few hours, to taking action toward your goal - and be sure to take stock of your progress!

9. Ask for help. Sometimes you may get stuck or need inspiration. All you have to do is ask for help and you’ll be amazed at how many people are willing to give it to you. For example, I know I’m not the best writer. So, I ask for help from friends to edit my work. Let me tell you, it has completely FREED me! Without that fear of publishing something “wrong,” I have been writing more than ever - and the more I do it, the better I become!

10. Start today. It took me three years to get my website up and running because of my fear of writing. It’s up now, but imagine if I would have followed these steps back then! I would have spent much more time feeling happy and empowered instead of living in the land of worry and fear.

MANTRA:

I am perfectly imperfect. FINALLY!

Stay on Your Path and RISE

Wed, 01 Jun 2016 00:00:00 GMT

Stay on your path and RISE.

I get it that life can sometimes get in the way and throw obstacles onto our path of finding our inner light. While I do my best to empower people by helping them release their B.S. stories so that they may embrace how they WANT TO FEEL, there are times that other people’s stories will get in the way of this goodness. Injuries, death, illness, break-ups can be overwhelming. But it’s in the face of these challenges that you have to just KEEP MOVING FORWARD. While the progress may be slower and the process not as perfect as you would like, the key is NEVER GIVING UP

Another common obstacle that can derail people from their paths is getting caught up in their heads trying to understand the actions of others. STOP THAT NOW! Remember, their actions do not matter; it’s your actions that matter. The negative self-talk is a waste of time and energy. Speak to yourself how you want to be spoken to. And, justifying your pity party doesn’t work either – it’s just another B.S. story.

What I also hear a lot is, “But Dena, I’m not sure what my path is!” The starting point is to pause, be in the moment and define for yourself how you want to FEEL. Then, make sure your actions support that feeling. Choose THOUGHTS, WORDS, PEOPLE, SURROUNDINGS, etc. that support what you desire. If your reaction is, “That’s nice, but it won’t work for me,” then you’ve just come across another B.S. story that you have to release. If you need help releasing, then schedule another session with me. The key is tofeel the emotion first, then take action to support that feeling!

I’ll leave you with this quote by the great poet and author Maya Angelou who said, “We have to confront ourselves. Do we like what we see in the mirror? And, according to our light, according to our understanding, according to our courage, we will have to say yea or nay—and rise!” This month I encourage you to confront yourself. And then start taking the actions that you need to stay on your path and RISE to embrace those feelings that you want to define your life.

MANTRA:

I am moving forward daily, rising and embracing my personal joys.

There are Always Blessings in the Quiet

dena@fakeemail.com (Dena Gould) — Sun, 01 May 2016 00:00:00 GMT

There are always blessings in the quiet.

I can be flowing and happy with life one moment and then—BAM!—heavy, icky, yuckiness appears! That is literally what happened after I fell and hurt my shoulder last month. Can you relate?

The recovery forced me to have more quiet time to think and what I realized is that I hadn’t been clear about how I wanted to experience this season of my life. Sure I was flowing, but I was not growing.

My busy-ness protected me from this realization for a while, but the universe obviously had bigger plans. By forcing me to slow down, I had no choice but to go within for answers. Initially, I always resist it when this happens. But after kicking, cussing and crying, life has started to become inviting once again.

Here are some of the steps that I took (or am still in the process of taking) to help me move through the quiet. I hope that they might help you as well:

1. Cleanse negative thoughts. Pick at least one recurring thought that is a total waste of your time and energy and decide
?to finally let it go. Every time it shows up, just say “NO MORE” and change the channel in your mind to something positive.
2. Cleanse the intention list in your head. Pick one or more of those things on your “to do” list and take action. It can literally be anything, such as finally talking to that person who has upset you, picking up the phone to call and check on a friend or writing that song/poem/blog. Write your intention(s) down and set a deadline to make sure it gets done.
3. Cleanse your home. I am a cleansing fool, but I still have a lot of secret hiding spots for those “special” items that I don’t use. How many items can you cleanse this month to clear up energy in your home?
4. Cleanse your body. You don’t have to go all out, but you could decide to cleanse just one unhealthy item from your diet. (If you’re looking for something more structured, I have a great cleanse that I LOVE. Let me know if you are interested and I’m happy to share it with you.)
5. Then create a new, healthy habit to fill the void/cleansed space. Again, the options are limitless, but here are a few: Start your day by drinking 16 oz. of water, plan your weekly menu, set a daily intention, start that project or class, dance, sing or schedule 10 minutes a day for quiet time.
6. Ask yourself, “How do I want to FEEL?” Now make choices to support that!

When we shut up and listen, what’s truly important and meaningful in life becomes so much clearer and we can begin to take steps in the right direction. If you need some inspiration, I will be teaching a class with the fabulous and fun Kim Moore on May 7. We designed The Goddess Within to help you better understand you. So, if you’re looking to take action, grab a girlfriend and register today!

Intention:Be Quiet, Ask Questions, Listen and Take Action if needed.

Are You Paying Attention to the Signs?

dena@fakeemail.com (Dena Gould) — Fri, 01 Apr 2016 00:00:00 GMT

Are you paying attention to the signs?

We’re always being divinely protected and guided, and if you look for the signs you will always see them. If you honor the signs, you will GET MORE. If you have taken any of my classes, you understand how much I value these subtle (or sometimes not so subtle) messages. Lately, they have been even more prevalent.

I wrote an article on this same topic in June 2014 and, today, I am inspired to share another story with you:

On a beautiful Friday morning in March, I decided to take advantage of the spring weather and take my dog for a run. I was completely in the moment and, just as I was repeating my positive statements, I suddenly found myself doing forward flip! Out of instinct, I ducked my head and landed right on my shoulder. Long story short, I needed surgery.

I scheduled it for a week out with a kind, young doctor. After, I was prompted by a friend to research his success rate. Guess what I found out? He had only performed this specific surgery two times before. YES, twice. Of course, I freaked out and immediately tried to get in with other surgeons who had more experience, but I just couldn’t get the scheduling to work. So I asked my spirit guides for a sign…

First sign: Later that day I shared my story with my chiropractor and friend. When I told him the name of the young doctor, he didn’t say a word. Instead, he pulled out his short list of referral doctors. Right there in print, he pointed out my doctor’s name on the list. I smiled and thanked him for the sign.

Second sign: The very next day while shopping for groceries, I had a very friendly woman come up to me and ask about my shoulder. As we were talking about my procedure and who my doctor was, a big smile grew across her face. I later found out that she assisted in a local surgery center, and she went on to tell me that he was one of the best doctors on staff. She assured me that he would not stop until everything was perfect!

Third sign: As I was driving and thinking about the procedure, “Layla” by Eric Clapton came on the radio. Now this one brought me to tears. This song is one of the “common” signs that I receive from my Spirit Guides. (If you’re interested in knowing more, I share this story in my Connect with you Spirit Guide class.)

Needless to say, I felt completely validated and supported in my choice. The procedure is done and I’m happy to report that I’m on the mend. But what I ask is that you please, please allow this story to inspire you to pay attention to your signs.

I challenge you to ask the Universe/God/Spirit Guides for a sign within the next 24 hours. I PROMISE that you will be shown one but YOU HAVE TO LOOK FOR IT.

MANTRA OF THE DAY:

Signs are everywhere. I acknowledge them and I am blessed to see them!

How do signs from above work?

June, 2014 Newsletter

After one of my Spirit guide classes, I was sharing that I was manifesting a BMW. Almost in unison, two of the attendees told me that they had just sold their BMWs. Both were in agreement that BMWs were not worth the money, especially after the warranty runs out. We then discussed what mechanics consider “good cars” and I shared that I have always liked the Hyundai Sonata. This made me think about my manifestation. Should I get a more reasonable car? What will my friends and clients think since I was so proud to always announce I would be manifesting the BMW? Would they think I was scared and shrinking down? I asked my Spirit Guides to send me a sign.

The next morning an article on wise money decisions caught my eye. It referenced a famous rapper that leased a Honda Accord instead of spending a lot of money on fancy cars. It was an interesting article and the rapper happened to be LL Cool J.

While driving to my office that same day, a car rushed to turn right in front of me, which caused me to take notice of this vehicle since we were in a residential neighborhood. It was a Hyundai Sonata.As I turned onto a major street, a beautiful butterfly wisps right past my car. I smile because this means change. I then start thinking about how I had to share this little experience so that others can understand that all they have to do is pay attention to the signs.

I was getting closer to my office and realized that I never turned on the radio because I was so caught up in my thoughts. A commercial was ending as I turned it on. A song began. It was, Hey Lover by LL Cool J.

I smiled and thanked my guides. I will now be manifesting a Hybrid Hyundai Sonata.
Signs are subtle. So subtle that you will feel like you are making them up. They will not jump out at you. YOU have to pay attention and the more you do, the more signs you will receive.

*** I manifested my Hyundai Sonata July 2015***

How Do You Want People to See You? Be Honest

dena@fakeemail.com (Dena Gould) — Tue, 01 Mar 2016 00:00:00 GMT

How do you want people to see you? Be honest.

I do my best to be confident, but I was recently in a place where I felt like someone was getting more “attention” than me. I didn’t understand why and I started to feel really sad about it. I wondered what was wrong with me. Why wasn’t the focus on me and my needs as well?

As I often teach, I totally ALLOWED myself to go into that “poor me” space. I honored how I was feeling and genuinely asked my heart why I was there. The answer took me by surprise—and really pissed me off too.

I think I don’t ever let myself come across as weak, or soft, or needing help or attention. While you may think this is a good thing, for whatever reason, it didn’t feel good at this stage in my life. In fact, the little girl in me thought it really sucked! She was pissed and wanted to stomp and yell, “It isn’t fair!” But I learned something that day. After throwing my internal fit, I was able to calm the little girl inside me and genuinely ask, “If I didn’t like being seen as a ‘Superwoman’ how did I want to be seen?” And the answer was: I want to be seen as human.

I do my best to flow through my daily life experiences much like everyone else—sometimes feeling up and later down, pissed then happy. Forgiving and unforgiving. Being seen as uniquely HUMAN feels so much better than all those other titles like introvert/extrovert, black/white, pretty/ugly, smart/stupid, mean/kind… You get the idea.

Today, I urge you to see yourself as human, and allow THAT to shine!

Mantra of the month:

Human is the new sexy

Just Jump

Mon, 01 Feb 2016 00:00:00 GMT

Just Jump

Sometimes you just have to go for it. You just have to say, “YES!” and then figure out the “how” later. Last year I did a lot of that—saying yes and figuring out the details later. Of course it scared the crap out of me, but I knew that I needed to do it in order to get out of my comfort zone. I don’t want to just exist in life. I want to thrive! I have goals and dreams and if I stop to over-analyze them, then I will talk myself right out of accomplishing them.

How many times have you had a brilliant idea that lasted less than 10 minutes because you reminded yourself that you could fail, that you may be judged or, heaven forbid, that you may have to actually ask for help? From my communication with the other side, I know that we are NOT put here on Earth to shrink down. If you listen, you can hear the spirits yell, “PLEASE HAVE FUN! PLEASE ENJOY YOUR LIFE! GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD AND INTO YOUR HEART!”

The reason we are here is to love and be filled with joy. How many people do you know that are walking around in love and joy? Are you one of them? Exactly! That’s enough reason to just JUMP! Say YES! Get uncomfortable! Be humbled. CHOOSE love and joy and then figure out the baby steps that are needed to move forward. And by making that choice, you may just empower others to jump too. Wouldn’t that be cool?

This month, ask yourself, “What do I want to do when I grow up? What do I want to experience?” As soon as an idea pops in your head, write it down, along with three steps that you can take to make it happen!

Mantra of the month:

I am saying YES and my life gets easier

Are You All In?

dena@fakeemail.com (Dena Gould) — Fri, 01 Jan 2016 00:00:00 GMT

Are you all in?

If it needs your attention, it will continue to show up.
Damn kids! I was already out of the car and felt she was taking too long. “Leyara, I told you to hurry up!”

My daughter screaming and having a fit responded, “Why can’t I just do it in my own time? Why are we always in a hurry?!” She is about to be six and asks the life-changing questions. Me: speechless.

Why can’t she do it in her own time? Why am I always in a hurry? I can’t preach BE IN THE MOMENT and follow it with “hurry up.”

Apparently my youngest is going to help me prioritize my annual intentions. This year, I want to experience each moment more and stop continually looking for “improvements.” In other words, I am looking to cleanse—physically, emotionally and materially. In 2016 I want to live every day consciously, recognizing that the new fancy “thing” won’t necessarily help my business or that acquiring more “stuff” isn’t going to motivate me to feel better about myself.

This requires me to rewrite that story I’ve told myself that having a hectic schedule means being productive. Iacknowledge that my busy-ness DOES NOT VALIDATE ME. Stress is not my purpose for living. So I now choose to do my best to be in the moment by clearing out the unnecessary objects that are cluttering my ability to live in the now and holding me back from growing and having fun. This won’t always be easy, but I know that happiness doesn’t exist in the future; it only exists in the now.

So, what is your annual intention ? What do you want to Experience in 2016? What stories do you want to stop having to tell yourself in order to feel validated? What needs to be acknowledged that you have been ignoring? I know that it can be uncomfortable thinking about these questions. But rather than let the fear hold you hostage any longer, push through it. Stop avoiding the stuff that needs your attention. Like my recent experience with my daughter, it will only continue to show up until you decide to acknowledge and change it.

Let's do THAT this year! ACKNOWLEDGE OUR "STUFF AND TAKE SMALL STEPS TO CHANGE THEM. I challenge you to just JUMP all in! Be BOLD! Make some decisions that excite and scare you!! And with that thought, I wish you all courage, grace and fun that you deserve in this New Year.

MANTRA OF THE MONTH

My Monthly Inspiration - Happiness

Tue, 01 Dec 2015 00:00:00 GMT

My Monthly Inspiration - Happiness

In January 2014 I settled on an annual intention of gaining more FREEDOM. On February 17, of that year I lost my day job. Yes, it sucked at the moment. But now I am doing what I love, spending more time with my children and I am ever so grateful.

In January 2015 my annual intention was HAPPINESS. On New Year’s Day, I was hurt by a friend. Because it hit on many of my triggers, I did what I had always done – I attacked. And as I tried to hand her my shit because I did not want to feel it, she gave it right back to me. In the past I would have simply walked away and told myself that it did not belong to me. But this time I decided to sit in it, smell it and get horribly uncomfortable. This was one of the most painful feelings I had dealt with in a very long time. Since then, I cannot tell you how many times I have been humbled this year. To name a few: I had a failed Meetup group, a horribly embarrassing online interview, and I’ve had people tell me they’ve heard things about me that were simply not true.

So, what does all this have to do with the happiness I intended to find? Everything! With each humbling experience, I learned to say “oh well.” And with each “oh well” that I said, I began to feel a little more free – a little more happy. I was learning to release the fear of failure. I was letting go of the fear of not being good enough. And through the process, I even learned to sit on my butt and relax more, because I realized that I no longer needed to prove my value or my work ethic to others. From there, the happiness and freedom just sort of kicked in. I even started saying “yes” more because I figured, what’s the worst that could happen? I may have to say “oh well” again? Oh well.

And it’s because I was able to live through some very uncomfortable moments this year that I was also able to have some of the most wonderful experiences. Like when I saw on Facebook that someone was looking for a speaker for her Meetup group. By saying yes, I made another amazing lifelong friend – and got more public speaking practice. I said yes to joining this incredible group called Project Positive Change and WOW! I can’t tell you how many inspiring and talented friends I have met who have forced me even more outside of my comfort zone and changed my life forever. I even had the opportunity to travel with them to Boston and present at our very first public event! I could share so many more great stories like this from the past year but the point I’m making is that I had these experiences because I asked for happiness.

Although this year has been anything but easy, I can look back and honestly say that every challenge I faced was rewarding and, yes, I am a happier person because of it. I share all this with you as an invitation to think about what you truly want to experience in 2016. Do not make the decision out of fear; make it out of faith and love. And know that I am here to support you through your journey.

I am in the process of putting together an on-line challenge to help you with your journey to more happiness. I hope you’ll join me in releasing more of your fears and discovering more of "you" and your happiness and light. Remember, we are all human which means we don’t have to go it alone. I will have more information for you soon, so please watch for my emails.

Mantra of the month:

Oh, Well...

Our Triggers Have a Purpose

dena@fakeemail.com (Dena Gould) — Sun, 01 Nov 2015 00:00:00 GMT

Our Triggers Have a Purpose

Triggers are meant to serve a purpose. It’s those things in life that set us off that have the most to teach us. While it may seem natural or instinctive to react by going on the defensive, self-prescribing our favorite numbing remedy or choosing to ignore and shove down how we feel, we actually stand to learn important lessons when we pause and ask: What is causing this craziness within me? Why is this person triggering me? What is making me so pissed off? Why am I still allowing this to affect me? Or, what can I get out of this experience?

Imagine what our lives would be like if we asked those questions! What if, rather than reacting from impulse, we consciously allowed ourselves to feel the emotion and breathe through the uncomfortableness? Or what if we wrote about it in our journals with the intent of releasing it word by word onto the page? One thing is for sure, we wouldn’t still be stuck in the pattern where the same things continue to trigger the same reactions from us over and over again.

I hope that you will try this new approach. After all, what’s the worst that could happen? Instead of adding another brick to your wall, it might actually result in feeling more empowered and in control of your body and emotions! It's not easy. It’s actually crazy scary to allow yourself to be vulnerable, but, I have been practicing it for some time now and WOW! I have made it through and I am feeling better, lighter, more approachable and, most of all, more alive in my body.

I want to make it clear that working past or releasing a trigger doesn’t mean that now you have to do, hear or tolerate things that you don’t want to. I still say no when I need to without feeling compelled to explain myself. I can’t say that those same emotions don’t still come up, but I continue to work through them, and take comfort in the progress I’m making along the way.

Mantra of the month:

I am present with my triggers and do my best to release them

Fall: Fun or Funk?

dena@fakeemail.com (Dena Gould) — Thu, 01 Oct 2015 00:00:00 GMT

Fall: Fun or Funk?

Sometimes I call this time of year the Fall Funk – and it happens to many of us. It’s not that autumn isn’t beautiful; it’s actually a favorite season for a lot of people. But like spring, it signals transition and we all have different ways of reacting to change. Last year I offered up some tools for getting out of the Fall Funk. This year, I want us to take preventative measures.

First, let’s focus on what’s actually GOOD about the season. If you’re blessed to live in a place like Colorado, there is plenty of nature to admire as the leaves turn to bright yellows, oranges and reds. And with the slower pace of fall, it’s the perfect time to get cozy indoors, spend time with family and friends or catch up on our hobbies or reading. There’s also more time for reflection; the shorter days and longer nights call us to draw our spirits in a little closer, explore what’s on the inside and reconnect with ourselves.

Rather than feeding negative thoughts in our stillness, however, let’s focus on the opportunity and luxury that comes with being able to slow down after the always-on-the-go days of summer. And while depression happens to all of us, let’s set the intention to prevent it as much as possible … and to make sure it doesn’t stay too long if it does come to visit. Of course, you should always honor your feelings, but don’t let them take over.

Begin with the decision to actually ENJOY the fall this year…what a concept right?! It could be as small as savoring every sip of that pumpkin spice latte, skipping the ear buds on your walk or run and just listening to the sound of the leaves crunching underfoot or taking the time to notice the changes in the trees. Some of us may need a little more inspiration, so if this is you, it’s also good to plan activities that will keep you out of the negative space in your head. Focus on completing the paperwork, housework or other tasks that you put on the back burner during the last few months. Or, make it a point to get out with family or friends. Still not enough? Join a MEETUP group or sign up for a class to learn more about something that interests you.

In my experience, the easiest way out of the Fall Funk is to avoid getting into it in the first place.

Mantra: I honor the changes within me and enjoy the experience

I am Insecure

dena@fakeemail.com (Dena Gould) — Tue, 01 Sep 2015 00:00:00 GMT

I am insecure

I don’t even remember how it came up, but as I talked matter-of-factly about my insecurities to a friend, she stopped me mid-sentence and exclaimed, “WHAT? Not you! Never would I think that you would be insecure!”

I don’t know why I was surprised; this was not the first time that someone has been caught off guard by this fact. But it’s true – I, too, have insecurities!

My friend’s reaction made me uncomfortable and I started to question myself even more because, as you know, that’s just what we humans do. I started thinking, “I have really been working on not being so rigid, but I must still seem really rigid to others.” Then other negative thoughts started to creep in… Thank goodness I put up that stop sign in time!

I have been working on myself in this area and I can honestly say that I am feeling more confident these days. But my reaction to my friend’s comment made me realize that in my book, having confidence equals being unapproachable – a “too good for you” attitude. What the hell?! Where did this mess come from?!

For all I know, I was probably feeling good about something one day and my confidence made someone else uncomfortable. They may have responded with something hurtful and I claimed it as my truth. (For those of you who have had sessions with me or taken any of my classes, I hope that you are laughing your butts off right now and sending me some love!)

Just because I teach self-love doesn’t mean that I don’t also have to constantly remind myself to not take what others say or don’t say or what they do or don’t do personally. When I fall into the trap, I find that it helps to use mantras and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) to regain my balance. After all, their thoughts about me DO NOT MATTER! What does matter, however, is how I feel about myself. Now repeat after me, “I am enough; I am more than enough” about 10 times!

Here is what I would say to someone else having an experience like mine: Thank goodness that your friend’s reaction allowed you to fully take in this lesson, so that you can FEEL it, honor it and let that shit go! Stop shrinking down to make others comfortable! Use EFT to increase the effectiveness and tell yourself, “Today, I choose to honor me for me – just as I am – with all of my perfections and all of my imperfections. Today, I choose to feel safe being confident. It feels good and it is so freeing to not care what others think of my experiences.”

Mantra of the month:

I am confident and it feels good not to shrink down!

Fulfill a Summer Goal - Pick Something Fun!

dena@fakeemail.com (Dena Gould) — Sat, 01 Aug 2015 00:00:00 GMT

Fulfill a Summer Goal - Pick something fun!

August is here! Have you accomplished everything you wanted to do this summer? Me neither. Let’s type it out. Seriously, type out 3 things that you want to experience, then bullet point at least 3 steps that you can take, this week, to begin to make it happen. Don’t think too hard or make excuses. YOU HAVE CHOICES. Stop allowing life to interrupt your experience of fulfilling personal desires. Make this fun and doable!
My desired experience: Hike a 14er (That's Colorado speak for a mountain that meets or exceeds an elevation of 14,000 feet)

I will research locations and choose one.
I will find a babysitter for the kids and set a date.
I will ask my "hiking" friends for advice.
I will visualize myself hiking a 14'er, smiling and having fun, for several minutes every day
I will tell people about it, so they will hold me accountable and help me reach success.

I just want you to ENJOY your August and accomplish your intentions. I will share pictures on my Facebook page. Sending you Love and good vibes!

Mantra of the month:

Fun is a feeling that I create within me. I am fun and I feel it. I am free!

I did it! 8/22/2015

Judgement Can Be Powerful if You Allow It To Be

dena@fakeemail.com (Dena Gould) — Wed, 01 Jul 2015 00:00:00 GMT

Judgement can be powerful if you allow it to be

Despite all the work I’ve done on myself over the years, I still find that there are times when I judge others. If I can catch myself doing this, I’ll immediately apologize in my head to the “victim” of my unloving thoughts. In many ways, this practice has helped me improve on passing judgment in the first place.

The act of judging others is a signal that there is something within ourselves that needs attention. I’ve known this for years and, while making the silent apology is one step of recognizing it, I’ve recently realized that there’s something more I can do. I have started a new habit – to breathe through the judgment and take the time to actually honor the gift or lesson of the experience.

With this additional step, I’ve realized that I actually feel more inspired, even more human and just plain LOVED. It is becoming easier to love myself because, rather than judging and beating myself up over my thoughts, I am appreciating them as displays of my humanity.

Byron Katie is a phenomenal teacher of this very same practice. In essence, her teachings encourage the following process:

1. Allow yourself to judge
2. Apologize to the person or experience
3. Try to understand the cause of the judgement
4. Breathe through the feeling
5. Allow yourself to be human and lovable as you are.

Next time you find yourself in “judgment mode” – whether toward yourself or another person – I invite you to try this technique. I also encourage you to learn more about Byron Katie’s teachings on her website at: www.thework.com

Mantra of the month:

I see my judgments as a gift to honor my humanness. I breathe though them and know that I lovable for my humanness

Sometimes It's Not the Act of Being Molested. Sometimes It's the Loss of Trust and Innocence

dena@fakeemail.com (Dena Gould) — Mon, 01 Jun 2015 00:00:00 GMT

Sometimes it’s not the act of being molested. Sometimes it’s the loss of trust and innocence.

While participating in my “practice class,” The Art of Loving You, I had a memory resurface. I was molested by a neighbor at about 8 or 9. I do not remember the actual act, but I do remember that I just knew when I told my dad he was either going to call the police or go down there and kick his ass. Neither of which happened. This memory supported one of my “life’s stories” of needing to be superwoman and take care of myself because no one was going to do it for me.

I am blessed to work with so many beautiful spirits and unfortunately, this is a very common story. It’s not the act of molestation. It’s that sometimes we have people in our lives that do not have the tools to handle the story, so they shush and shame us, which in turn, makes us feel that we have done something wrong. I know that many of you can relate and your story may not even be molestation. It may be that you just did not have people in your life who could handle whatever you were dealing with. Hence, so many fabulous super heroes.

With this knowledge, let’s take action and find ways to change this for ourselves and those that we love. – I know some of you have had this difficult conversation with loved ones already and I honor you for that. I also know that many of you cannot have this conversation and I honor you for knowing that. Let’s heal by witnessing others difficult stories. Let’s be empathetic instead of trying to fix it/them. Sometimes a hug, nod and ear is what in most needed when someone shares a crappy experience.

I am fine by the way. I tapped (EFT) that ugliness right out, journaled on it and I was so grateful to be able to be heard and share this story with my friends in the class. It helped me honor my experience for what it was.

Mantra of the month:

My Experiences are part of me and I honor them

Avoidance - How is That Working Out for You?

dena@fakeemail.com (Dena Gould) — Fri, 01 May 2015 00:00:00 GMT

Avoidance - How is that working out for you?

Avoidance – that is a good place to start this month. What have you been avoiding? Why? What would happen if you just dealt with the “issue"?
Here are five action steps that you can take to help with avoidance:

Ask yourself, “What steps can I take today?” And then take them
Build a plan to hold yourself accountable. It can be as simple as setting a completion date and sharing it with someone supportive
Visualize a positive outcome to help with any fear of a negative outcome
Reward yourself as needed
ASK FOR HELP!

If you've been receiving my newsletters for a while, you know I usually have a personal story to share on the topic; and this month is no exception. In July 2014 I was told by my spirit guides that my next class would be on self-love. I was even told that “they” would do all the work – I just had to sit down and write it out. I have been working on that class for almost nine months now.
As some of you know, I have been talking about it and I even scheduled it so that I would have to hold myself accountable and not come up with any more excuses. I asked for and received phenomenal help from many beautiful souls throughout this process. So why was I still avoiding finalizing the class? BECAUSE IT MEANT THAT I HAD TO DEAL WITH MY OWN SHIT before I could actually help others deal with theirs. Grrr! Sound familiar?
Today, I am happy to announce that I finally did it. I actually taught the class to some beautiful friends and I PARTICIPATED at the same time, so that I could deal with my own crap. And guess what?! I feel so good! I think we all released a lot and learned so much more about ourselves though the experience. I received so much great feedback from these ladies that I am just beside myself. I cannot wait to share this experience with you!

Mantra of the month:

Good Things are happening to me!

It's Not About You... This Month

dena@fakeemail.com (Dena Gould) — Wed, 01 Apr 2015 00:00:00 GMT

It's not about you.. This month

This month, let’s focus on helping others and allowing ourselves to feel good about it.

We can take on this assignment in many ways – from simply smiling at people more to taking it to the level of dedicating our time and talents volunteering. We can also do our best to “hold space” for those around us. In other words, let's make a conscious effort to give people a safe environment to have fits, share their experiences and just be themselves, without trying to fix them or judge their journey. Hold them in love and accept them where they are. I have been doing a great at this for others, but I can definitely do better when it comes to my family and close friends, so I will be working on that this month. It's such a fun experience to be human.

Yes, this can definitely be a challenge, but by being conscious of it we honor the process. And hopefully this leads to taking steps to honor where we are in this process called life. By practicing holding space for others, we learn to hold space for ourselves as well and allow ourselves to mess up without the harsh self-talk.
We so got this!

Mantra of the month:

“I am loving this journey and so is everyone else!”

You Are Enough!

dena@fakeemail.com (Dena Gould) — Sun, 01 Mar 2015 00:00:00 GMT

You Are Enough!

What happens when you find yourself not feeling like you’re not enough? The signs can be subtle – and it can be easy to blame on someone else.

For example, I tend to over-explain myself to my husband because of the guilt I feel for not bringing in more money, not cleaning more and for generally not being enough. GRRRR! I know that I am a hard worker and a busy person in general, so why does this same old story still plague me and so many of us?

The “not fill-in-the-blank enough” myth is such a waste of our thoughts, time and energy. Instead of getting mired down in it, I suggest that every time we go down the path of wanting over-explain ourselves, let’s put up the stop sign in our minds and say, “I am more than enough – thank goodness!” SAY it until you BELIEVE it!

Including a visual can help, giving more power than your words alone. You might see yourself smiling with light, angels, spirit guides, family and friends behind you. Find what works for you – as long it’s something believable, yet powerful enough to help you turn your thoughts to something more productive.

Let's start this new month of March, with the days getting longer and the subtle yet sure signs of spring starting to come up from the Earth, by practicing a new story for ourselves and repeating as our mantra:

Mantra of the month:

I am enough! I am more than enough - thank goodness!

What are You Afraid Of?

dena@fakeemail.com (Dena Gould) — Sun, 01 Feb 2015 00:00:00 GMT

WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?

Be honest. If having blind faith was the only option, what would you do? If you knew that you could not fail, how would you approach life? What would you change about yourself?

So, what’s stopping you? Is it fear?

We don’t have to give our power to fear. Most of the time, there is nothing real about it … it is only a negative thought in our heads that we have decided to believe. We have the power to choose differently.

Because of our personal life experiences (parents, society, circumstances of birth, teachers, friends, role models, etc.), we have conditioned our minds to believe that working hard is a necessary precursor to our success. Well, I challenge you to question all of that. Answer for yourself, “What in the hell is the definition of success?” Is it a lot of money in the bank? A college degree? What the Joneses think?

If in your answer you find that being successful means being happy, what steps can you take – starting right now – to fulfill your happiness? Or even better, what THOUGHTS can you begin to think that will create this happiness and the success you desire?

Now, here’s your homework: I challenge you to take five baby steps this week toward realizing your happiness. Take conscious actions that reflect your choice to FEEL HAPPY. Start today. One thought at a time. One step at a time:

• BREATHE when you want to freak out
• If the fear is paralyzing, take back your power by going for a walk or push yourself into a run
• Talk to yourself as you would talk to someone that you consider successful
• Reflect on and embrace all that you are – and all that you’ve accomplished – and begin to FEEL your every success. Even the smallest wins count!

Remember, it doesn't matter how slowly you go, it only matters that you do not stop...

If you would like to learn more, consider taking "Infinite Possibilities - The Art of Living your dreams."

Mantra of the month:

I am allowing faith to guide me.

What Do You Want to Experience in the new year? How Do You Want to Feel?

dena@fakeemail.com (Dena Gould) — Thu, 01 Jan 2015 00:00:00 GMT

What do you want to experience in the new year? How do you want to feel?

Notice that these questions aren’t inviting you to look back or beat yourself up for what you didn’t accomplish last year. Doing so would just be a waste of energy. Instead, let’s welcome in this New Year by first reflecting on what you DID achieve. Of course there were challenges but, despite the obstacles or set-backs, you made it through with a lot to be proud of!

Rather than starting your “list” with an outline of all the things you want to get done this year, how about first getting really clear about the things you want to feel or experience? Then focus on the steps you can take to get there. Here’s an example from my own approach:

This year… I want to genuinely feel happy – A LOT. I want to feel happy with my family, friends and clients. I want to feel happy in my body, in my home, in my alone time. I want to feel happy in each moment.

The easy part… Tracking some of my daily to-dos, such as:

I can’t eat my morning yogurt until I eat four pieces of broccoli
Walking/running at least 30 minutes three times a week
Planning fun and simple events with my family
Cleansing and cleaning for 15 minutes a day
Reading for 15 minutes a day
Keeping my thoughts positive

The more difficult part… Allowing all the past crap to come up and breathing through it, journaling, asking for help and receiving my own energy balancing sessions.

Instead of getting angry at my husband for not doing what I think he should do I will genuinely try to recognize and support HIS choices.
When I find myself daydreaming because I need to escape, I will ask myself, “What am I running from?” Perhaps even journal on my feelings to better understand them.
When I get upset with my children for reacting differently than I would like them to, I will gently guide them while still trying to honor who they are becoming.

I’ll practice what I preach about being in the moment. No more superwoman crap!

Obviously these are just some examples from my own life, but I hope they are helpful as you come up with your own resolutions.

THANK YOU for all the love, support/shoves and referrals over this past year. I feel so grateful and am so blessed for all of the beautiful spirits that I had the chance to meet this year.

Mantra of the Month:

I am excited to feel "insert emotion!"

Holiday Heaviness

dena@fakeemail.com (Dena Gould) — Mon, 01 Dec 2014 00:00:00 GMT

HAPPY DECEMBER

Do the holidays stir up feelings of sadness for the friends and family that are no longer with us? Does the pressure of spreading the cheer of the season make you feel like doing anything but celebrating? It happens to all of us, but it doesn’t have to dim our light.

You can choose not to give your power to the heaviness that this time of year may bring. You don’t have to allow the absence of family or friends to hold you in sadness. Instead, do your best to make this a time for reflection and appreciation. Here are just a few things you can do to help beat the holiday blues:

• Take time to remember those who are in heaven and do something special to honor them. But you can find peace in knowing that they have moved on to bigger and better; they are home and doing just fine.

• As the year comes to a close, use this time to reflect on what you’ve learned, how far you’ve come, and how you’d like to continue to evolve.
• Make sure that you take time out during the next few hectic weeks to honor yourself and all your accomplishments -- no matter how big or small!
• Make a conscious effort to send love around the world to help raise the vibration for those who need it. You’ll be amazed at how this can also help raise our own vibration!

Taking these small steps can help restore your joy during the holiday season – and year round. I just know that there are many wonderful things to come for you in the New Year. Which brings me to an exciting announcement: With the help of many beautiful people, my “dream” of creating an empowering and humble community of women from different backgrounds and life experiences is finally becoming a reality!

Called Sisters of Light (SOL), we will start coming together in the New Year to meet to express, grow, connect, share, shine, network and simply be. I am so grateful to the universe for this new group! Last summer, I set the intention for it on my website, and now I am inviting every woman to join us in creating this community and supporting one another to be our best selves.

Wishing you many blessings this holiday season, and know that I am sending plenty of love your way!

Mantra of the Month:

I am more evolved and happy with each passing day!

Power of Cleansing & Organizing

dena@fakeemail.com (Dena Gould) — Sat, 01 Nov 2014 00:00:00 GMT

HAPPY NOVEMBER

I found myself repeating last month’s topic often. I had to remind myself to practice what I preach and I am glad that I did. It isn’t always easy to teach people how to treat you, but it is empowering when you do. I hope that you found yourself doing the same.

I have been guided to remind you the power of cleansing and organizing, so November is all about the cleanse! Think about the items in your home that take up so much energy & space. Really, how many t-shirts do you need, what about all those “someday” craft items? What void are they filling for you? Are you still shopping for more? This month, as always, keep it short and simple. Set your timer for 15 minutes each day and cleanse & reorganize. Set a goal to release and donate a certain amount of items each day. Feel the difference that this makes in the energy of your home. Before making purchases for yourself this month, please ask yourself “what will this fulfill in my life?”

This is also a great time to perform a cleanse on your body and soul. If you have never done this before, be prepared for the roller coaster of emotions that come with it. There are so many options out there. I prefer a more natural cleanse of only water and herbal tea for two days then fruits and vegetables with some brown rice for 5 days. You may actually have more energy after the 2 day fast then you would expect. No, it is not easy, but I remind myself that my body and soul need a re-start. I also remind myself that the 5 day “diet” is basically a common diet for many cultures. It is very doable and empowering. RELEASE!!

Song of the month: LOVE Frequency 528Hz - vibrational healing:

Not necessarily easy to listen to, but powerful for the body.

Mantra of the month: I don’t need it! I am enough!

Let's Discuss Your Power

dena@fakeemail.com (Dena Gould) — Wed, 01 Oct 2014 00:00:00 GMT

Let's Discuss Your Power

If you hit any bumps last month, I hope that you pulled out some of the tools discussed in the last newsletter to keep you flowing through life! This month, let's discuss your power.

Do you find that you apologize too much, or that you get defensive when someone questions you? Do people generally respect or fear you? Do they take advantage of you or hurt you? While it may seem like we are powerless against the behavior of others toward us, the truth is, they are just reacting to the ways in which we have taught them to treat us. Please sit with that thought for a moment... It is one of the things that I work on most, not only during my sessions but in my own life as well.

So now that you have this "thought" or, better yet---this realization---what do you do with it? This month, I want you to keep it simple. First, you need to consciously decide how you want to be treated. And then, gently begin to teach others how to treat you that way. The best place to start is with yourself! Keep your words, thoughts and actions kind. Do nice things for yourself and breathe through any guilt. Short and sweet, right?!

Mantra of the month:

I choose to honor me and claim my power!

Depression and Suicide

dena@fakeemail.com (Dena Gould) — Mon, 01 Sep 2014 00:00:00 GMT

HAPPY SEPTEMBER

Did you pay attention to the signs that you have been receiving? Continue to play and have fun with this as I have had some pretty awesome experiences with dreams, animals, and blinking lights.

I had planned to discuss depression this month because we will be entering into fall at the end of the September but was not expecting the suicide of Robin Williams. Depression and suicide is in my family and I know that many of you are affected by this as well. My intention this month is to remind you that you have many tools to keep yourself moving forward in positive energy and not get sucked into the “depression knot”, as I like to call it. I definitely get it, but I utilize a lot of different tools to keep it from hanging out too long.

Some of which are:

VISUALIZE and FEEL what you want to experience each day – set your daily intentions before you get out of bed.

PRAY and ask God/Source and your Spirit Guides for help with your daily experiences – whatever that means for you.

LIST at least 5 things that you are grateful for every night before you go to sleep.

HELP someone else; share your ENERGY with someone else daily.

BREATHE!! Breathe through the uncomfortable emotions. Don’t you dare shove them down!

PERFORM EFT when needed.
KEEP those thoughts positive because they create your reality.

I share a lot of these tools in my sessions AND of course you can learn even more tools in my Infinite Possibilities Class.